


Canines

by Yve



Category: Rune Factory (Video Games), Rune Factory 4
Genre: Companion/friendship development, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, lycanthropy, therianthropy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 123,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yve/pseuds/Yve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His canines were the last thing to return to normal on the eve of every new moon. As the points of those teeth shrank back to more gentle, rounded tips, he lost the wild, haggered look and the crows feet at the corners of his eyes began to look like the result of many smiles once more. Indeed, the time of the new moon, when he was fully a man and no trace of the monster showed, was the only time she saw him smile anymore. Even so, it was a smile that could only make her heart ache all the more... a sad, wistful smile heavy with the knowledge that by the first sliver of waxing crescent moon, his canines would grow sharp and his mind restless as he slowly lost the fight to the beast all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Problematic Habits

**Author's Note:**

> This also looks to be a long fic, though not nearly as long as Dwarf & Nymph, I think. The update schedule this time will be every 3-4days, typically one chapter at a time.

“Frey… could I, erm… Could I ask you a favor?” Forte asked, one hand fidgeting with the hilt of her sword in its sheath on her belt. Her long blond hair shone in the sun as brightly as her armor. The lady knight stood as proud and stern as ever, but her eyes and her nervous hands betrayed another side to her straight-backed posture.

The young, stand-in princess of Selphia stood up from where she had been planting little rows of carrots in her fields behind the castle and looked curiously at her friend. A breeze teased at her long pale green pigtails and amusement twinkled in her emerald eyes. She felt a little smile pull on her lips as she dusted the dirt from her gloves.

“Well! This is unusual.” She chuckled. Forte’s cheeks flushed red and she frowned.

“If you don’t want to then forget I said anything.” She huffed quickly and made to turn around.

“Hey, now! Don’t be like that. I only meant it’s refreshing to hear you actually interested in accepting help.” Frey said, gently tugging her friend’s arm. “Come on, tell me what you need.” The lady knight muttered something too flustered and quiet to be intelligible but then composed herself and looked straight into the princess’s eyes.

“I need some help with Bado.” She said, bracing for a reaction at the end of the declaration. Frey looked perplexed at her, eyebrows raised.

“Bado?” She repeated curiously. “What about him?” She hardly knew the town blacksmith, and mostly by his very mixed reputation which could be summed up by carelessness and sloth as well as scheming after riches, but he was also known to be reliable in a pinch and having steady principles and a gentle manner. Having hired him once to build and set up a forge for her own use at the castle, she hadn’t had much motivation to frequent his shop, known as the ‘Meanderer’ since then, given that she typically made all her own weapons, armor, and other crafts. The work he had done then was skillful and thorough, even if he poked about and sighed a lot while he was doing it. He even forgot to collect payment from her until she came by his shop to literally press the money into his large, gloved hands.

She shook her head with a befuddled look as she recalled that incident. For a man always talking of devising ways to make easy money, he sure didn’t seem too terribly interested in _having_ money, or spending it. His fixation stopped at merely acquiring it, it seemed.

“I’m at my wit’s end!” Forte said in exasperated tones, gesturing plaintively to Frey. “He’s driving me crazy!”

“What’s he doing?” Frey asked in surprise at Forte’s exaggerated reaction.

“He keeps ‘elaborating’ his sales pitches and product descriptions! He says things like: ‘buy this fishing pole and you _might_ catch the biggest fish in Norad!’ and so on. Technically he’s not _lying_ cause he says things like ‘might’ or ‘may or may not’ but people don’t listen carefully and they assume what he’s saying is things like ‘it definitely will help you raise giant turnips’ and things like that. They hear the _way_ he says this stuff, not the exact meaning of what he is saying, and they interpret it like they _want_ to hear!”

Frey chuckled again.

“So what’s the problem? Isn’t it the customer’s responsibility to listen to what he’s telling them, after all?”

“Oh! Don’t take _his_ side, princess! You have no idea what kind of trouble I’ve had to go to in order to track down all people who thought they’d bought magical shields that would protect them from any monster or charms that would lead them to riches! It’s dangerous for people to be running off with those kinds of crazy notions! I caught one traveler practically running straight into a silver wolf’s jaws because he thought he would be _invincible_ wearing some armor Bado made!” She implored the princess with deeply frustrated gesticulations throughout her speech.

“Alright, alright, I take your point.” Frey conceded, her hands raised before her disarmingly. “But what do you think _I_ can do about it? I don’t even know him, really. You’ve got much more pull with him than I do, I’m sure. Haven’t you known him a long time?”

“Well… yes… he’s been here in Selphia since before my parents died and he sort of adopted Kiel and I when they passed away. Bado and my Father were close friends, you see… b-but I don’t really think of him as a father, persay. After all, how could anyone look up to someone so irresponsible, anyway?” She finished, practically spitting with indignance.

“So what, you can’t just tell him to knock it off?”

“He doesn’t _listen_ to _me_! I’ve scolded him hundreds of times for his antics and I tell him all the time that if he just _worked_ a little instead of always trying to figure a way around it, he’d have all the money he could possibly need! He’s actually an excellent blacksmith, you know. He made my father a sword that never broke, years and years ago. But he hasn’t bothered to make anything of that quality since then! Frey! Do you have any idea how _frustrating_ it is to see someone you care about just _waste_ their potential like that?! And on top of everything else his influence on his customers makes my job that much harder! That man is _impossible!”_ she was nearly breathless with her hurried list of grievances as she looked at Frey helplessly.

“Okay, okay, I got it. I’ll try and help.” She said, pacifying Forte with a sympathetic look. “Just what do you want me to do?”

“I just want him to go back to forging good products to sell and stop all this scheming nonsense. _You’re_ interested in forging, right? Take him out to gather materials with you next time you go and talk all about what you want to make and what you’ve learned! Maybe your enthusiasm will rub off on him. At the very least, if you can keep him busy for a while, it will give me a chance to catch up on damage control with his clientele!”

“I… I’ll try, Forte, but I really can’t imagine why he’d listen to _me_ if _you_ can’t get him to budge.” She shrugged.

“Like I said: at worst you’ll have gotten him out of my hair for a bit and that is a big favor unto itself.” Forte insisted. Frey sighed, smiling.

“Alright. You got it.” she nodded.

“Thanks! I owe you a favor, Frey.” Forte smiled at her.

“You’re welcome. I’ll try to get him to come with me on a trip to gather materials tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. Well, I should get back to my rounds. Good luck, and thanks again!” Forte nodded to her as she turned to leave.

Alone once more in the field, Frey sighed and knelt down to poke more seeds down into the dark, rich soil. Her brow furrowed as she thought about what she had agreed to do. She shook her head again. How on earth was she supposed to convince a man like that to turn over a new leaf? Forte was surely asking for the impossible…

‘Oh well… I said I’d try and that’s all I can do, I guess…’ she thought resignedly. Over the next hour she finished up her chores and went inside for supper, resolved to go and visit the notoriously lazy blacksmith in the morning to try and make good on her promise.


	2. Playing Her Game

The heavy wooden door of the Meanderer Smithy stared down the reluctant princess as she paused in the middle of reaching for the handle. She took a breath and steeled herself before tugging open the door and stepping inside.

The smell of tanned leather, metals both new and oxidized, and the general musty medley of a plethora of miscellaneous goods piled about on every shelf and surface in the room greeted her nose as Frey entered the shop.

“Well, well! If it isn’t our town princess. This is an uncommon privilege, indeed.” A deep voice teased from behind the counter. Frey blushed. She wasn’t an _actual_ princess and it hadn’t been her idea to fill in for a prince, either. There was no need to tease at something like that… as if she thought herself true royalty coming to grace his tiny shop with her presence.

“Hello, Bado… How are you?” She asked stiffly, trying to ignore the comment. She forced herself to look directly at him, despite her discomfort at his jibe. He sat in a plain wooden chair behind the counter, leaning back precariously with his long legs up and his boot heels upon the surface next to the register. His arms were crossed over his broad chest and he looked at her from where he sat without so much as a pretense of intending to stand and greet his customer properly. A smirk tugged on one corner of his mouth, creasing a set of smile lines that ran right into the short beard that framed his angular jaw. He had no moustache but his masculine face did feature a prominent, straight nose and deep, blue-gray eyes bordered by crow’s feet. His dark, messy, short hair became sideburns and the sideburns became beard the lower her eyes traced his face, but his most unusual feature stood out, quite literally, on either side of his head. Short, gently pointed ears, leaf shaped and delicate by marked contrast to his otherwise gruffly masculine visage framed his long face. They were the ears of the dwarfkind, and if it weren’t for these Frey would have forgotten altogether that this huge man was indeed of that race. Doug, the only other dwarf in town, was below average height for an adult human, and Frey had always had the impression that it was common for dwarves to be diminutive in size.

“Oh, I get by, all right…” He said casually. “But what brings you here? I haven’t seen you in my shop for a blue moon.”

“O-oh, I uh… well I’ve been making use of that forge you built, you see, and I’m thinking of starting a new project soon.” She fumbled awkwardly over her words. Frey knew very well she was a terrible liar. This wasn’t lying, per say, but inviting him on an excursion with an ulterior motive felt close enough to dishonesty to make her just as nervous.

“Forging, huh? Well, then I can’t say I’m interested…” He said, dismissively and looked away, unfocused. Frey was dumbstruck. She knew he was reputed to be lazy about his craft but for him to be quite so blatantly disinterested shocked her. She hadn’t planned for this…

“B-but you’re a blacksmith, aren’t you?” She stammered awkwardly.

“Yeah? So?” He countered, a profoundly bored expression on his lined face. She gaped at him blankly for a breath or two.

“I… guess I just thought you’d… be a little more piqued by the notion…” she trailed off lamely.

“Nah, can’t say that I am…” He said plainly.

“Ah…” She rubbed one arm with a gloved hand, writhing inside at the sheer awkward impotency of the conversation.

He looked back at her after a couple more moments of silence and raised an eyebrow.

“Did ya need something?” He asked slowly.

“W-well... I was just, ah… I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to collect some materials, is all.”

“Hmm, no thanks… can’t say it sounds like anything but work…” He said dully. Frey felt her shoulders droop visibly.

“Oh…” Her voice shrank to a tiny, disappointed peep. Bado blinked at her and withdrew his feet from the countertop and unfolded his thick arms. His expression became more interested and focused as he looked curiously at her face. He huffed a short laugh.

“You can’t be so disappointed to be refused by an old goat like me, surely.” He said, his tone teasing but also very deliberate.

“W-what?” She blurted out, then quickly shook herself and adjusted her strategy. “I mean, I guess I… I could use your help… if you’d be willing to do me a favor, that is… even though it would be a little work…” She stared at him, waiting for an answer and feeling her face growing pink with embarrassment. ‘You owe me a lot more than _one_ , Forte…’ she thought peevishly, then stopped and blinked at him. He was grinning with a mischievous, knowing look and his dark thick brows bent low over his clear eyes. Before she could think to stop her tongue she spoke again. “And whaddaya mean, ‘old goat’? You haven’t even got a single gray hair!” As soon as the words left her mouth her eyes widened and she shut her mouth tightly over a startled little ‘eep’ of pure crippling social humiliation.

“AHahahaha!” A huge bellowing laugh filled the room as Bado’s mouth opened in a wide smile while he threw his head back. Frey’s face might have been on fire for all she knew, based on how hot it felt. She must be the shade of a tomato by now… The dwarf stood up, towering over her with his broad chest and shoulders. He stepped toward her and looked down with a crafty grin. She swallowed and stepped back, her head tilted to a stark angle to look up at him as he stared at her with a triumphant expression, his big hands resting on his hips.

“Forte put you up to this, didn’t she?” he said suddenly. With a pang, Frey realized she had already made a very startled, _very_ guilty face before she even had time to deny his accusation. There was nothing for it, now. She could not give a single explanation that would not be betrayed by her already stricken expression. Bado’s booming, deep laugh filled the shop again.

‘Oh, divine dragons…’ Frey cursed in her mind, wishing she could just crawl under a rock and disappear. She was never going to live this down. Ever. He had soundly defeated her in the game of manipulation she had come to play, and now her embarrassment was on display for his amusement as plain as day. She cringed, waiting for a mocking verbal blow. Bado shook his head, finishing his laugh and stepped around her toward the door.

“Well, come on then, let’s go.” He said, smiling back over his shoulder. She stared at him, wide eyed and blushing, still.

“W-where?” She stuttered dumbly.

“Well I was kinda hopin’ you’d tell _me_ that. You’re the one who wants to go get materials, right?” He said, still smiling as he held the front door open for her.

“What?!” She squeaked. “But you— You’re still gonna go?” She looked stupefied at him. He laughed again.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” He shrugged. “May as well humor her if she went to the trouble of roping you in. Just think of it as repayment for that compliment you accidentally gave me a minute ago.” He winked and ruffled her hair briefly with his big, rough hand. She reached up and straightened her white butterfly bows and swallowed. This man was incomprehensible. The question was burning on her tongue but if she asked why he was going along with this, he might reconsider, after all. She clamped her mouth shut and walked out with a point-eared six-and a half foot shadow just behind her.


	3. Speaking Truths

“So How far d’you wanna go, anyway?” That deep voice asked behind her an hour or two later. All around the blazing autumn foliage of Yokmir forest cast a vivid lively glow and clusters of sun-dapple patterns on them both as they walked quietly through the woods.

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “I’m actually not looking for anything specific it was just an excuse to invite you out here.”

“Haha! Wow you’re pretty forward, aren’t you?” The tall dwarf laughed, looking slyly at her. The crimson color from earlier returned with a red-hot flash to Frey’s face abruptly.

“Uh—I mean—because y’know… Forte said… I promised her I would… and stuff… so yeah.” She floundered, her stomach twisting with humiliation inside her. _Why_ did her mouth have to run off and say things before her brain had a chance to hear how they sounded? Bado merely chuckled at her expense again and leaned against a tree.

“So, are you gonna tell me what this is all about, then?” He said, folding his arms and tilting his head.

“Oh… uh…” She trailed off lamely. For a moment she wondered if she would be betraying Forte’s trust by telling him, but then it occurred to her that this might be the perfect way to try and get the result Forte wanted anyhow. Swallowing briefly, she resolved to try and ask him straight out if he would oblige her.

“Well… You’ve been kinda making a lot of trouble for Forte lately…” She said slowly, watching his face carefully for a reaction. He blinked, but didn’t stir beyond that and his expression remained impassive. Bereft of any response, she pressed on. “Apparently, whether or not it was your intention, you’ve been giving customers some troublesome ideas about the products they buy from you and they’re getting into trouble because of it. Forte told me she’s been running all over trying to keep them from getting themselves hurt because of it.”

“I ain’t been lyin’ to anybody.” He said mildly, but a hint of tension crept into his posture now. “So it isn’t really my doing if someone takes a dumb risk with my merchandise, now, is it?”

“Well, yeah, but…” She gestured faintly, losing momentum as she realized it was hard to argue with something that was _technically_ correct but still not quite addressing the issue. “Well, in any case… What if you just focused on making quality stuff that speaks for itself and then you won’t even have to come up with sales pitches, hmm?” Her intonation rose hopefully at the end of the question.

“Huh. So this is just Forte tryin’ to get me to work at the forge more, huh?” He said in a bored voice. “But that ain’t gonna be any fun, ya know? Coming up with ways to make money doin’ the least amount of work possible, now that’s fun.”

“But what are you even gonna _do_ with the money if you ever actually manage to make some?” Frey’s tone turned exasperated. The tall dwarf merely shrugged his broad shoulders.

“Haven’t really given it any thought, to be honest.” Frey looked at him peevishly. He smiled a lopsided smile. “What? You sayin’ you _don’t_ like having a goal to shoot for with your day to day efforts?”

“That’s not really the point. If you ran a normal store for the sake of making money, Forte wouldn’t be pulling her hair out over it, you know?” Her argument sounded perfectly reasonable in her own ears.

“Yeah, but like I said: running a normal store wouldn’t be any fun.” He countered without hesitating.

“You don’t care that you’re putting Forte through so many headaches, then?” Frey plied him as best she could, resorting to a little guilt to see if that would bring him around.

“Forte’s gotta learn someday that ya can’t stop folks from doin’ dumb things. Ya can’t force people to make good choices and ya can’t change ‘em either.” His tone grew a little more gruff as he spoke, such that Frey began to backpedal on her own forceful tone a little. But, at the same time she wondered if he was referring to the customers or himself?

“If you’d just take it easy on _how_ you talk to your customers… I’m sure it’d work out better for both of you.” Her voice was almost pleading now.

“It’s not my doin’ if some fool goes lookin’ for trouble wearin’ my armor.” He said emphasizing his point with a nod. “Forte shouldn’t attribute anyone’s behavior to me but mine, don’t you think?”

“Well, it’s not like it has _nothing_ to do with you!” Her voice rose in volume a little out of frustration now. “It’s not like people come out of granny Blossom’s shop thinking her seeds will grow into vegetables as big as the castle!” Bado’s brow furrowed.

“I’ve never told any customer anythin’ that wasn’t true. You still gonna tell me I’m in the wrong?” He stared a stern challenge at her. Frey made an exasperated noise.

“You’re not _wrong_ , but you’re not _right_ , either!” Her temper flared a little. She had to give Forte credit for being patient all her life with this man. He really could be infuriating at times. He said nothing in reply for a few seconds; then he spoke again with his brow furrowed.

“One of these days that girl is going to learn to quit trying to make a man into somethin’ he ain’t.” He muttered. “And then maybe I’ll finally catch a break.”

“You _really_ don’t like forging, Bado?” Frey pressed him, looking imploringly with her big round eyes.

“It’s okay, I guess…” He reluctantly answered, shrugging again.

“Forte says you’re really good at it…” She continued.

“Yeah, well… Just cause someone’s good at somethin’ doesn’t mean it makes ‘em happy, ya know?” He said perfectly reasonably. She sighed and looked at him a long time; so long, in fact, that he shifted his weight and glanced about in the awkward silence. Then her face relaxed and she crossed her arms.

“That is true.” She said in measured tones, “And I’m sure Forte _does_ want you to be happy, after all. She probably just wants you to be happy in a way that’s comfortable for her, too. If anything, I should have been trying to figure out what way that is, instead of… well, this.” She gestured vaguely and then sighed. Bado blinked at her.

“Well, you’re just full of surprises today, princess.” He grinned with his brow bent in curious appraisal of her.

“I’d appreciate it if you dropped the ‘princess’ talk… Just call me ‘Frey’, okay?” She said, letting just a little tension creep into her tone. She really didn’t like being addressed with royal honorifics.

“Okay then, Frey…” He began again, unfolding his own arms and taking a step or two toward her. Her heart jumped as he said her name. Come to think of it, was this the first time he had actually called her by it? She stiffened and swallowed as he neared. He looked down at her from his great height with his mischievous expression intact. “You’ve said _two_ pretty nice things to me today, so I’ll forget about the manipulative parts.” Frey started at this, panged again by her shifty agenda from earlier.  

“S-sorry…” She stammered, pawing nervously over one of her pigtails. His smile widened a touch, looking more genuine and less wicked in the process. He chuckled, toying absentmindedly with the dwarven hammer hanging on his belt which he had brought in the interest of gathering materials, or at least helping her do so.

“You’re a good, honest kid, huh?” He said. It was more of an observation to himself than a question put to her. Frey merely fidgeted in silence. Then, as he continued to stare at her with a thoughtful expression, she felt a hot blush creep into her cheeks, much to her profound embarrassment. “Hm.” He huffed a short laugh behind closed lips. “How old are you, Frey? You’re pretty pint-sized.” He looked her up and down with a mischievous smile. Her face grew hotter and she blinked furiously in tongue-tied humiliation. He threw back his head and laughed aloud, his generous voice belling out from his broad chest.

“If you’re gonna tease me for it, maybe I won’t say any more nice things to you!” She pouted.

“Aw don’t be like that! We were just starting to have fun!”

“ _We_?” She returned incredulously.

“Sure! And you looked so cute with that red face! Hahaha!”

“Jeeze!” She fumed. “I’m going back. Have fun arguing with Forte but don’t you dare tell her I didn’t _try_ to talk some sense into you.” She stalked off down the trail, fully intending to leave him behind but before long noticed she had a rather overlarge shadow once again. His long legs made one stride for every two of hers so despite her brisk pace he kept up without much more than the appearance of a leisurely stroll. She frowned straight ahead, determinedly not looking back.

‘You great, pointy-eared twit!’ She railed at him in her mind, ‘and to think I thought for a moment you sounded almost wise…’

Almost as if he had heard her thought but still considered her flustered attitude too appealing to be offended, Bado laughed softly behind her and began humming a tune as they walked back through Yokmir forest.


	4. Silver Wolf Under a Silver Moon

“I thought you knew where we were going?” Bado said offhandedly, without the slightest indication by his tone of voice that he even minded being lost. Nevertheless, Frey heard blame in his words.

“I don’t see _you_ leading us back to the road.” She said testily. He yawned widely but said nothing, apparently content to follow her aimlessly about the woods all evening.  “Sheesh.” She spat.

“There’s no hurry. I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later.” He said placidly.

Frey looked down the branching paths fretfully where the trail forked again in an unfamiliar place. She squinted and leaned forward as she struggled to remember. Dusk had fallen a few minutes before and the twilight made all the foliage blend together enigmatically to her eyes. She felt him standing near behind her but even if she turned to look at him now she doubted she could see his expression. At this rate, they’d have to wait for moonrise before they’d be able to see well enough to get back. She looked up.

Along the very top of the trees the bright autumn foliage, not yet fallen to the ground, gleamed with a silvery lining already. Any minute now the moon would crest over the tree line and lend them the light of its pale face. Suddenly as she stood waiting with her face turned up to the night sky encrusted with glittering stars, Frey sighed. Humility had put a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, Bado… for getting you lost…” She said glumly. She turned to look penitently at him and thought she saw a glint in his half-open eyes and a corner of his mouth turn upward, but who could be sure such subtle things were not her imagination in this gloomy dim?

“Don’t worry about it.” He said simply in a quiet version of his deep voice. Devoid of good sight, Frey’s ears were already straining as he spoke, and she felt the timber of his words resonate in her ears and in her chest all the more for the lack of vision. She blinked in the dark. Maybe he was just being too aloof or disinterested to care much about being lost, but maybe… She frowned. It sure _felt_ like compassion, in this moment, but it was probably just the way she _wanted_ to hear his casual words.

A rustle of leaves sounded sharply nearby, just a hair too rapid and jarring not to feel menacing in the gathering dark. Bado’s substantial silhouette moved a step closer to Frey. She blinked at him in the dark, trying vainly to see his expression. The impression of tension occurred to her as she looked in his direction.

“Alright missy, we’d better get serious about getting back.” He said, low, as if he did not want to be overheard. A shiver ran up Frey’s spine. He stepped closer to her again, resting his thick fingertips tentatively on her right shoulder. She gave a startled little gasp.

“It’s only me.” He said. There was no teasing in his voice now.

“Sorry!” She said quickly, “I can’t see anything…”

“My eyesight’s not too bad in the dark. Take my hand.” His fingers traced down her arm to find her little hand and gripped it gently. She swallowed and shivered again at the faint, trailing touch. Her arm seemed to tingle where he had dragged his fingertips over her skin in the dark. She blinked rapidly, sure her face was as red as it was hot.

It wasn’t that she _minded_ , per say… but she barely knew him. And, she wasn’t in the habit of holding hands even with people she _did_ know very well. She tried not to notice how warm his palm was, or for that matter, that she could feel the heat of him as he stood close, marked by the stark contrast to the chilly autumn air. This was _not_ the sort of things one was meant to notice about a man who was merely an acquaintance and on top of that, more than just a few years older than her. Frey shook her head, willing the train of thought away, struggling to think only about the task at hand; following him quickly through the gloomy shroud of night.

 His big hand, firm and steady, lead her along the path as he walked purposefully through the impenetrable darkness. She stumbled after him, gasping from time to time when her foot would catch on a root or a stone. Once or twice she actually overbalanced and would have fallen painfully to the forest floor, but each time she seized his arm to catch herself and he turned and grabbed hold of her and put her back on her feet before moving silently and urgently forward.

They had gone on like that some minutes before she realized she had not the slightest idea how far they were from the road, but had expected them to encounter it by now.

“Bado, how much far—“ He turned instantly and pressed two fingers over her lips with startling delicacy. She took some comfort in the knowledge that the nearly perfect dark would surely hide her bright red face from his sight. The patter of her heart grew faster and harder in the shroud of night. She held her breath as he bent low, moving his outstretched hand to her shoulder and whispering quietly in her ear.

“Something’s tracking us… and we’re disadvantaged in the dark.” He said urgently. She gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. “We need to get in the open where we can’t be ambushed and the moonlight will make it easier to defend ourselves.”  She nodded and he squeezed her shoulder before continuing to lead her by the hand until they neared a break in the dense trees and he turned toward it eagerly.

Bado’s outstretched hand brushed aside a long, hanging, tendril-like branch of a droopy cedar tree and he nudged her through the gap with the other. She blinked rapidly as the huge shining face of the full moon stunned her eyes which had dilated in the dark during their trek. She turned around to see him stepping close and looking her up and down.

“You alright, Frey?” He called. His voice sounded sincere and unguarded, for once. She nodded. He sighed and his mouth bent into a subtle smile of relief. She stared at him, some obscure wheels turning in her mind as she took in his masculine figure frosted by a rim of moonlight on his dark, ruffled hair, beard, and the white furred collar of his vest.

She had come out here with the intention of trying to correct him. His unsatisfactory habits had troubled her friend and so she had agreed to try and convince him to reform, but all their machinations seemed petty and unjust now…

Now, his eyes were bright and focused and she trusted his word implicitly. He really was a person she could rely on. Guilt gnawed at her for having looked down on him for his quirks.

“How about buying a map next time you stop by my shop? I’ll sell you one that can lead you home from anywhere! …anywhere that’s on the map, that is.” He murmured the last part with a mischievous smirk. Frey drooped with a feeling part disgust and part resignation.

“Jeeze, and I was just starting to think you respectable…” She muttered indignantly. He laughed aloud with his head back again. The corner of Frey’s mouth turned up in a smile in spite of herself. He smiled in his turn with what looked like a fond sort of amusement at her once he had finished his laugh.

“Well I can’t have you takin’ me too seriously, now, can I?” He raised an eyebrow. The smile faded from her lips after a moment as she looked up at the shining full moon and remembered their situation.

“So what do we do now, just stand in this clearing all night?” She sighed, tired to the bone suddenly. He chuckled softly again.

“I don’t think that will be ne—FREY! LOOK OUT!” A shout broke out of him in mid-sentence as he jumped forward and threw an arm out in front of her protectively. She turned with a sharp intake of breath and saw a silvery, snarling blur charging straight at them from the tree line. Bado’s right arm flew up defensively as he put himself between Frey and the monster hurtling toward them. She stared at it in fright as it bunched its legs in preparation to leap at them with a great, spitting fury. The long curved fangs and yellowish eyes flashed in the moonlight as the huge silver wolf sprang. With a savage, gnashing shriek of a growl it lunged, spanning a remarkable 7 feet or so with one great thrust of its rear legs. Frey gasped in the short space of time it took the beast to close the gap and her eyes widened in horror as the jaws of the wolf closed on Bado’s raised forearm.

The moment seemed to last for several breaths, though it was only half a heartbeat in truth. The primal rage in the eyes and drawn-back lips of the wolf were made all the more cold and cruel by the shining silvery moonlight catching on the man and the monster before her eyes. Then the frozen moment was unbound from the spell of shock and all was confusion and fright. The weight of the wolf struck Bado as he shouted in pain and fell back, knocking Frey to the side with his outstretched left arm and landing in a struggling entangled heap with the wolf. Frey frantically lifted her head to see the beast thrashing and yanking at Bado’s arm with its long jaws locked upon his flesh.

With a roar almost as savage as the beast that waylaid him, Bado gathered himself beneath the wolf’s scrabbling legs and kicked out hard with his long legs. His boots caught the beast solidly in the chest and with a sickening crack of ribs the wolf was launched off of him, spitting and painting in shock as it hit the ground. Frey squeaked in mortification as drops of blood spattered her. The wolf’s teeth had raked the flesh of Bado’s forearm as he knocked it back and tore deep gashes as its vicelike bite was wrenched off of him.

The dwarf cringed and groaned a ragged, pained curse as he curled around his mangled limb for a beat. The silver wolf, shrilling its pain and fury, righted itself and snarled savagely at him once more. Bado let his injured arm fall at his side, streaming with blood, and taking great rattling gasps of air he pulled the hammer from his belt and held it ready to strike.

‘Move! You have to help!’ Frey screamed at herself in her mind. The wolf sprang forward again. ‘NO! MOVE! MOVE! DAMN YOU, MOVE!’ She hyperventilated, frozen in place as the wolf’s bloodied jaws opened wide and hurtled toward her companion once more. Bado stepped forward and swung his long arm in a lateral arc, bringing the hammer to bear with a roar of his deep, booming voice.

The heavy, metal head of the hammer crashed into the side of the wolf’s face, shattering several of its teeth and breaking the jaw with another grisly crunch of bones. The monster was flung sideways by the blow and tumbled in the dirt, crying piteously and hissing out furious panting breaths alternately. Bado stumbled but managed to keep on his feet, mantling at the wolf again, but his eyes were glazed with pain and dizziness. The overlarge silver wolf rose on shaking limbs, glared furiously one last time at Bado with its broken mouth hanging in a gory spectacle before it sprinted off and melted into the shadows and dappled moonlight under the trees.

Bado glared after it for two more breaths and then shuddered, let the hammer fall from his uninjured hand, staggered a few paces and dropped to his knees with a muffled groan. Finally in control of her legs again, Frey darted over and hovered in front of him, hands half outstretched in a frantic but uncertain desire to help. She gaped in horror at the blood pouring freely from the great red furrows in his limp, hanging arm.

“Aargh” He cringed, gasping, then looked up at her. “F-Frey! Are you alright?” He breathed. She started, taken aback at his concern.

“I’m f-fine! For crying out loud, worry about yourself!” She blurted out. He chuckled weakly, still cringing, especially in the creases around his eyes.

“I—I’m glad you’re s—safe…” His voice grew fainter and more halting by the moment. He closed his eyes for a beat or two, then labored to look up at her again. “I’ve—been wrecked worse than… this. Don’t—ungh—worry…” but his breath quickened again and he wavered, looking as though he would fall forward and collapse at any moment. Frey dropped to her knees and propped him up with her arms outstretched and pressing against his shoulders as his head drooped between them.

“Bado?!” Frey called urgently. His breathing was growing more ragged with every passing moment. “We need to get you to Jones! Just hang in there!” The white cotton of her shirt and skirts was spattered with crimson drops and streaks and the ground below him was darkened and red in the gleaming moonlight. Just now much blood had he lost? Panic curled around her throat and Frey’s wide eyes watered.

All at once, she knew what she must try to do. It would draw a lot of rune energy… it might even lay her out in the clinic alongside him if she fainted from the exertion, but she had to risk it. By all appearances, the life of a man who had thrown himself between her and a probable grisly end was at stake. He was drooping further, more and more of his great weight pressing against her already shaking arms as she tried to hold him upright.

“I’m going to try and gate us back to town with a spell. Stay awake, Bado! I’ll get you out of here!” She pleaded with him as he murmured weakly.

Frey closed her eyes and tried to fight her fear and panic long enough to weave the retournen spell around him as well as herself.

“Aaaargh! He suddenly shouted a startled cry of pain and tensed, raising his head in a jerking motion. Frey gasped and pulled her hands backward, but he did not fall over. No, indeed, he was panting and pressing the heel of his good hand over one eye, shaking his head frantically every other moment. “Nnghhh….” He groaned, growing in volume throughout the utterance.

“Bado?!” Frey squeaked. He seemed not to notice her cry, only cringing and letting out another anguished shout. A rough, torn-edge kind of sound crept into his voice at the end of it. He held up his injured arm before his eyes and stared wide-eyed at it. A reddish vapor was curling off the bloody wounds and wisping away in the moonlight. Her mouth dropped open as she, too stared unblinking at his arm. The great, gory furrows were narrowing, the flesh knitting together and the blood slowing from the wounds. Three breaths later and only the blood already spilled evidenced the injury at all. His arm was whole again.

“D-did you?” He rasped. She shook her head, stunned silent by what she had seen. “H-how…” He mouthed the word more than spoke it. She looked faintly at him, having no answer to give.

“AARGGH!” His cry of pain was almost like a shout of rage this time. The newly healed hand clutched at his own breast over his heart and he curled over on himself, shuddering.

“Bado! Wha—“ She shrilled in alarm, but his head jerked back up and his spine arched as spasms of pain wracked him. As his mouth strained open around another agonized outcry Frey’s mind reeled and her eyes widened in shock. His canines were growing longer, sharp and cruel in his mouth. He shook his head and panted again. The soft points of his ears grew more angular and the ears themselves lengthened and crept higher on the sides of his head. His dark, ruffled hair and short beard grew wild and spread across his skin.

For a fraction of a second his eyes opened and in them Frey saw reason and conscience give way to wrath and wild hunger. His blue-gray irises paled to an eerie silver color and his face distorted into a snout, the bony bridge of his nose widening along with the jaw to accommodate the rapidly spreading row of sharp teeth. She gaped in horror and unconsciously scrambled backward.

Bado’s clothing stretched across his chest and arms, which swelled in size and sprouted thick dark fur. The half-man writhed in pain and fury, tearing at the strained seams of the clothing with long claw-like nails that turned a dark, shiny black before her eyes. He ripped open the fabric and flung it away in tattered pieces, shaking himself and panting, stooped on all fours. Frey froze in place, staring in disbelief. Bado was gone. Before her, a huge hulking black monster like a wolf with silver eyes and silver-tipped fur shuddered and panted. Despite the pointed ears and snout full of cruel fangs, the tail and huge clawed paws, the body of the beast was still slightly reminiscent of a man’s, somehow.

For a few terrified breaths, Frey only stared as the monster panted and trembled in blank confusion. Then the cold silver eyes snapped onto her and hardened. The wolfish beast snarled and growled deep in its throat at her as the pupils of its cold eyes narrowed to tiny infuriated points of black. She yelped in fright, scrambled to her feet and bolted just as the monster lunged with a savage roar at her.

Her feet thudded numbly against the ground of the clearing as Frey’s heart pounded in her ears. The sound of the snarling breath of the beast so close behind shot up her spine like a bolt of lightning. The edge of the clearing and the possible shelter of the trees and brush were still so far. She turned her head to look back just as the wolf-beast lunged, having caught up to her easily in two powerful bounds.

Frey heard her own scream amid the confusion of being knocked to the ground onto her back. Her hands seized great fistfuls of the black fur and pushed vainly on the solid body of the beast. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and her mind reeled. She almost didn’t dare allow herself to open her eyes or feel whether her own blood was soaking the ground beneath her this very instant. Was she a breath away from death?

A strangled sound, like a combination of a whine and a growl met her ears and she felt the monster shudder against her hands. Suddenly Frey realized the jaws of the wolf-beast had pinned her to the ground by her throat, but the points of its teeth, though she could feel them pressing against her skin, had not drawn so much as a drop of blood from her slender neck.

She dared not move. The hot, damp breath of the beast condensed on the pale flesh of her throat, and long elastic drips of saliva ran from the teeth over her skin. She gasped and whimpered slightly in terrified suspense as the tip of the wolf’s tongue touched her neck.

A shrill, eerie keening whine escaped the throat of the monster and with apparent strain it wrenched open its jaws, trembling as it drew away and pawing over its head as though in pain. Frey scrambled to her feet and stood frozen in front of the monster, staring in disbelief. It raised its head and looked up at her, still growling but with eyes dilated and half-lidded.

For a queer, suspended moment she thought she saw the eyes of the man she had brought with her into the forest earlier that day folded into the wild silver eyes rimmed with black. Then the pupils narrowed and the cold pale eyes hardened again. She took a step backward and her heel bumped against something. The dwarven hammer lay at her feet where Bado had dropped it before his transformation. Her eyes darted down to it and in that moment as the silver eyes of the wolf followed her gaze it snarled fearsomely and lunged at her again.

All in an instant, Frey seized the handle of the hammer and swung with all her might just as the huge monster bore down on her. The impact of the hammerhead against the beast’s skull reverberated back through the hammer and into her arm. Without so much as a whine, the beast collapsed on top of her, knocked out cold. She yelped in surprise as the huge, furry head landed with a thud on her chest. The weight of the monster on top of her made it difficult to breathe, but as she lay there panting, she barely noticed.

Slowly, tugging the head sideways inch by inch she managed to wriggle out from beneath the monster and scramble to her feet again. One hand wrapped anxiously around her own throat. There wasn’t so much as a scratch where the teeth of the wolf had pressed against her skin. She stared at the great, inert form of the wolf monster as her heart pounded in her chest and her mind frantically tried to recount what she had seen.

“What the hell just happened?” She panted. Looking around stupidly, she thought dimly that there ought to be someone with her before her eyes once again widened on the monster lying still before her.

“B—bado?” She squeaked, barely audible even to herself. Her eyes began to water. “Wha—“ The hammer dropped from her violently shaking hands. Her lungs pulled in a long, rattling breath and panic bubbled up in her stomach. “What’ve I done?” She cried, and dropped to her knees by the head of the monster with trembling hands outstretched, afraid to know whether the creature that had been her acquaintance was alive or dead. The mouth hung open and the long tongue lolled out in the dirt. She gingerly touched the neck of the beast and waited with baited breath. Amidst the pounding of her own panic-stricken heart she sensed another pulse, slow and deep.

“Oh…” She breathed in a wavering voice. “Oh, thank all the divine dragons!” She shook her head. A long moment stretched out under the huge full moon before she raised her eyes and looked over the monster again. It was remarkably large, twice as big as the already substantial height and bulk of the blacksmith it had been. She wound her fingers in the fur of its neck, soft and thick under the guard hairs, and turned the head toward her. A little trickle of blood seeped out from a cut on the creature’s head where she had struck it down with the hammer.

“What… _happened_ to you?” She whispered, tears rolling over her eyelids and down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around the beast’s neck and buried her face in the fur. “I’m sorry.” She whimpered. “I’m so sorry.” Then she drew a determined breath and sat upright again, lifting the chin of the monster and looking at it with an anxious but resolved expression. “I’ll make this right. I swear to you. I’m not going to leave you here. I’ll make you yourself again… somehow.”

Gradually, her firm countenance melted into sorrow again as she remembered how he had come to be here.

‘I wish I’d never tried to change you… if it weren’t for me, you’d be safe at home daydreaming and driving Forte crazy just like always…’ she thought wretchedly, stroking the ears of the beast with a pained expression. ‘For now, I’ve got to get you home. Maybe Venti can change you back…’ She held the massive head of the monster tightly against her chest and as an afterthought, picked up the hammer, hoping he would need it when his claw-tipped paws were hands again…

‘Concentrate…’ she thought determinedly, winding the retournen spell around herself and the huge black-furred body of the monster before shouting “RETURN!” into the empty, moonlit clearing. In a flash the unconscious monster that had been Selphia’s dwarven blacksmith, and the diminutive long-haired princess disappeared from Yokmir forest altogether.


	5. Fearless of and Fearful for

“What in the name of—“ The booming voice of the divine dragon of wind filled up the dragon hall as Frey appeared in her midst, clutching the furry head of the huge, limp, wolfish monster tightly and looking about with a dazed expression on her tear-streaked face. She shook her head and pressed a hand to her brow. Her vision was fading at the edges. Bringing this monster as well as herself back with retournen was too great a task for her typical abilities or stamina, it seemed.

“Miss Frey!” The deep, trumpeting voice of Volkanon joined the scene in worried outcry. “What is the meaning of this?! You are all over blood!”

“Frey? Where is Bado?” Forte’s voice, harried and thin called to her next. She raised her eyes to them and looked from one worried face to another.

“Yes! We were just about to send a search party after you both. Why is he not with you?” The booming voice of the dragon sounded above and behind her.

“W-we were a-attacked.” She stammered, fresh tears pooling in her eyes as her face contorted in sorrow. “The w—wolf…. Bado, he… it bit him, and—“ She stopped short and sobbed into her hands before looking up in remorseful agony at Forte. How could she tell the young knight that the man she had asked her to help reform was now a monster?

Forte stared at Frey in horror as realization seemed to take shape in her mind.

“Th-this beast?!” She stammered, fury and grief choking her. Frey nodded, drooping with the crushing guilt and sadness. Forte stared at her and then the wolf for some moments, then her whole body trembled violently and tears of her own streamed down her face. “M-monster! Devil! I will avenge him! I—will—send—you—back!” She drew her sword in a flash of steel and held it aloft over the limp, still form of the wolf monster before her.

“NO!! I WON’T LET YOU HARM HIM!” Frey screamed wildly and leapt up to fling herself between the knight and the beast. Forte’s claymore pierced downward in the same instant and Frey shut her eyes tightly, expecting to feel the blade bury itself in her chest in a fraction of a moment. But one...two…three seconds passed and nothing happened. She grimaced and opened one eye gingerly.

The deadly sharp point of Forte’s sword hovered inches above her, trembling slightly in the knight’s hands. Forte’s face was a mask of torment and fury as she soundlessly cursed Frey with her eyes and her clenched teeth.

“Why…” She hissed.

“It’s Bado, Forte! It’s Bado!” Frey pleaded, gesturing to the monster in exasperated urgency. “You mustn’t hurt him!”

“What?” Forte blinked and stepped backward in shock.

“He… _became_ this monster!” Frey said insistently, begging with her eyes for them all to understand.

“You’re saying this wolf creature _is_ Bado?!” Volkanon said in a shocked voice. Frey nodded, looking sadly at the wolf.

“ _What?!_ How?” Forte gasped.

“Did you say before that he was bitten by a wolf?” Ventuswill reentered the conversation from above them, stooping her feathered head at the end of her long neck into their midst as she spoke.

“Y-yes… a strange silver wolf jumped out and bit him… it tore up is arm really badly. He was bleeding so much…” She shook her head, tears pouring out of her eyes once more as she gestured to the splatters of blood on her clothing.

“You mean to say that is _his_ blood?!” Volkanon bellowed, aghast. Frey forced herself to continue, nodding faintly to him.

“But he beat it and it ran off… then… then his arm just… _healed_ somehow… on its own all at once.” They all blinked at her in uncomprehending astonishment. “And… h—he w-was in pain… he w-was screaming and thrashing around… he changed…” She trailed off, her throat clenching.

“He transformed into this creature?” Ventuswill said in a low, strained voice. Frey nodded, sobbing again.

“I’m s-so s-sorry! It’s all _my_ fault! He j-jumped in front of it to protect _me_ and now…”  She buried her face in her hands again. Ventuswill nudged the beast with her nose in several places and then paused to look closely at the slowly bleeding wound on its head.

“Did _you_ knock him out?” Ventuswill asked suddenly, surprised. Frey nodded with a hiccup as she cringed guiltily again.

“H-he attacked me… t-twice. I-I didn’t know what else to d-do!”

“Were you bitten or wounded in any way?” The great dragon’s tone was suddenly urgent. Frey blinked in surprise and shook her head vigorously. Venti drooped with relief. “Thank goodness… Then again if you _had_ been bitten, I suspect you would have already transformed, too.”

“W-what?” Frey squeaked.

“Ventuswill! Do you know something about what has happened to Bado? You _must_ tell me! Tell me how to reverse it!” Forte cried urgently.

“Calm yourself, Forte. There is nothing we can do at present to undo this… but in the long run… perhaps.”

“Venti! Please… please tell us what is going on.” Frey pleaded.

“I believe our dwarven blacksmith is afflicted by a lycanthropic curse.” She rumbled grimly.

“A _what?_ ” Frey shrilled.

“The beast that attacked you both and bit him originally must have been a _were_ wolf… not an ordinary silver wolf.” The two women and the tall butler stared at the dragon in with uncomprehending expressions.

“Therianthropy is not unheard of in Selphia. My sibling dragon Aquaticus tells me there are two individuals in Sharance who can change between the form of humans and monsters at will… and of course, our ‘guardians’ here in Sharance were monsters in their slumber and still maintain vestiges of those forms… but this is something else altogether…”

“Milady… by ‘therianthropy’… you mean changing between the form of man and monster?” Volkanon ventured. The huge crested head of the dragon dipped in affirmation.

“I’m afraid what little I’ve heard of ‘lycanthropy’, which is specific to the form of wolf monsters, suggests when a person is suddenly changed after an encounter with a wolf that wounded them it is something like a curse… The transformation is involuntary and the afflicted person loses themselves to the bestial urges of the wolf in the process.”

“Th-then… h-he is _lost to us_?” Forte choked miserably. Ventuswill shook her great head.

“No… not entirely. From what I understand, the person is not permanently changed into the form of the wolf, and will change back to their original form except during the full moon phase of the lunar cycle. I suspect he will return to his original body and mind tomorrow when the moon passes into its waning phases.”

“According to the moon?” Frey asked in curious awe.

“Yes… though I have no idea why…” Venti replied, shrugging her huge feathered shoulders.

“He’ll… be back? In the morning?” Forte asked tentatively.

“I think so, yes.” Venti nodded. “But we must confine him or restrain him until then. You are very lucky you were not wounded by him or you would have become a monster, too, Frey.” Frey blinked fearfully at her. What would they have done if both Bado _and_ she, herself had turned? She supposed if he had not killed her altogether, they’d have either fought or formed a pack as their animal selves in the forest.

“Why did he attack you, anyway?” Forte turned to her.

“You must not expect reason from the wolf, Forte.” The divine dragon cautioned. “While transformed, he has not his own mind. Only his most primitive desires will drive him as a monster.” Forte looked grimly worried at this. “Volkanon,” Venti continued, “Can you move him to the old holding cells in the lower levels of the castle?”

“Yes, Milady. Though, that space has not been used in some time. It will take some preparation to make it habitable.” The tall butler bowed low.

“You must bring him to a cell and lock him in first. Then you may perform whatever maintenance you see fit to the space.”

“But… He _didn’t_ bite me…” Frey murmured suddenly, touching her own neck as she recalled the feeling of the wolf’s teeth pressing lightly on her throat. Even as the beast, Bado had stopped himself, she was certain of it… “Do we really have to lock him up?” She asked faintly.

“Yes, Frey. We cannot take any risk that the curse might spread.” Venti said firmly. Frey drooped, looking sadly at the thickly furred head of the wolf. She stepped closer and knelt next to it, stroking the soft fur of the pointed ears with a pained expression. The Knight, the butler and the dragon stared at her with mingled surprise and confusion. Frey looked up at Venti pleadingly.

“Won’t you at least heal him first? Just look what I’ve done to him…” Her eyes watered again as she gingerly touched the fur of the beast’s head and turned her gloved hand over. Her palm glistened with the wolf’s dark blood.

“…Of course.” The dragon rumbled quietly and took a deep breath, raising her head high as she concentrated on the magic and then bending low over the wolf. A shimmering green light swirled around him and then the beast took a long deep breath and sighed in its sleep. The great bulk of its chest rose and fell slowly… peacefully, now.

“Thank you, Venti.” Frey murmured, still looking with chagrin at the unconscious monster. A heavy silence hung about them for several moments. She could practically feel the three of them exchanging concerned glances, though she did not look up.

“Ah, miss Frey,” Volkanon’s booming voice, strained in an effort to sound optimistic, broke the stillness. “You have always been most compassionate to monsters, haven’t you?” She said nothing, clutching her own arms and curling miserably in a stooped posture next to the enormous wolf’s head. Another silence descended on them, shorter this time.

Forte put her hand on Frey’s shoulder, breaking the sad stare as Frey blinked and looked up at her friend.

“Come… We can do nothing but wait, now. Volkanon will take him below.” Frey stood up and reluctantly allowed Forte to pull her away gently with her iron gloved hands gripping her arms. Volkanon stooped next to the monster and with a great mysterious show of strength only he could have managed, lifted the beast and bore it on his back, its long arms and head hanging over the butler’s shoulders, and the legs and tail dragging behind him. He drew a couple deep breaths and with a frown of exertion he tromped off toward the great stairway in the East wing of the castle by Frey’s room.

“You have been through much, this night.” Venti addressed her gently. “Go to bed and get some rest. Volkanon will keep watch tonight. You needn’t fear.” Frey turned and looked up at the dragon firmly.

“I do not fear him.” She said in measured tones. Venti blinked at her, but said nothing. Presently, forte tugged at her again and led her back to her room where she handed her off to the anxious, waiting hands of Clorica.

Numbly, Frey submitted to Clorica’s touch as she undressed her and then robed her in a delicate nightgown. She only sat, staring into the distance with an occasional sniffle or tear rolling down her cheek.

“Frey… I heard what happened. I heard everything you all said… and I saw Volkanon carrying that monster down to the dungeon.” Clorica said timidly. Frey winced at her words, but said nothing. “It’s a miracle you survived… you mustn’t blame yourself for what happened…” The lady butler’s intention to comfort her was clear, but unsuccessful. She only shook her head slowly. Of course she was to blame…

Clorica stared anxiously at her for a few moments more before guiding her gently to her bedside. Fatigued and unresisting, Frey laid down in her bed and stared up at the vaulted ceiling of her chambers, unmoving and unspeaking as Clorica pulled the blankets over her and dowsed the lights, speaking a soft, anxious goodnight as she left the room, looking sadly over her shoulder at the princess she served.

In the gloomy dark of her room in the small hours of the morning, Frey curled about herself and wept silently until exhaustion finally pulled her into a fitful sleep riddled with nightmares.


	6. Glimpsing the heart of a beast

Frey’s head throbbed painfully. She rubbed her puffy, swollen eyes with one hand and blinked blearily in the light of mid-morning. For a moment she wondered if she was ill, but then all at once the day before struck her forcefully, making her aching head pound all the more.

“Oh, no…” She gasped, and threw the blankets off, swinging her slender legs over the side of the bed and leaping to her feet. Hoping and pleading with any such gods or spirits that might hold sway over such things, she pelted down the hallway to the stairs and flew down them, holding the hand rail and skipping two stairs at a time in her hurry.

At the bottom of the stairwell she turned and nearly fell as her feet slid on the damp stones of the floor. She must have been thirty feet or more underground, by now… Only torchlight led her way down the dim, yawning corridor. She drew another breath and sprinted forward once more.

“Please… please… please be yourself again…” She huffed as she ran, her long pale green pigtails streaming out behind her. She flew by a long series of barred cells, cold and empty for years. How many lifetimes had it been since Selphia had been a warlike place that had any need of keeping prisoners in the heart of the city?

At the very end of the row the corridor turned and opened up on a larger room, half of which was taken up by a huge cell, meant for groups of prisoners it seemed. Frey rounded the corner, panting as she came and stopped with a gasp. On the other side of the black iron bars, a huge dark shape roused, raising a head with pointed ears and looking at her with cold, silver eyes.

Her heart dropped out of her and she fell to her knees.

‘No…’ She thought desperately. She stared at the creature for some moments and it stared back. Then the sound of a gasp behind her made her turn.

In that instant, the tall pointed ears flipped back and the beast raised its hackles and snarled viciously.

“Miss Frey!” Volkanon boomed, stooping to help her up. “What on earth are you doing down here?” She kept her eyes locked on the wolf and as its furious gaze snapped onto Volkanon it lunged with a roar and slammed into the door of its cage, biting rabidly at the bars and spitting with rage. The din of the creature’s wrath reverberated against the walls and seemed to rail at her very mind. Frey covered her ears and cried out in anguish. Dimly she felt the huge butler lift her in his arms and carry her back around the corner and down the hall.

Fifty paces or so down the corridor the cacophony of the furious monster finally died down, only a frustrated growl echoing after them as Volkanon set her down on her feet but kept a steadying hand at her back as they walked on.

“He hasn’t… He’s still…” Frey murmured.

“Yes…” Volkanon said heavily. This monster shows has shown no sign of resuming the form of a man as of yet.” Ventuswill has left for the capitol to see if the king’s council has any record of similar cases. With any luck, we’ll have news soon and hopefully there will be something more we can do. But for now, we can only wait.”

She nodded weakly and let him lead her all the way back up to the bright and cheery main floor of the castle, streaming with sunlight from the high windows as if nothing dark and cruel lurked beneath the marbled halls of the upper floors.

Returned to her butler’s care, Frey obeyed mutely as Clorica combed her hair and dressed her again. At first, the soft spoken servant tried to coax her friend into speaking by commenting on the beautiful day and the delightful breakfast she and Volkanon had prepared, but the princess was disconsolate, and merely allowed herself to be silently led to the dining hall without resisting. By and by, Clorica gave up trying to get her lady to participate in conversation and merely pulled out a chair for her at the long table.

Frey stared at the lace-embroidered tablecloth in front of her without stirring. The soft clinking of cups, silverware and plates being set upon the table sounded softly around her but she did not look up. Eventually a plate was placed before her, too, and eggs, sausages, potatoes and fruit were piled upon it by the white-gloved hands of Volkanon. Clorica sat next to Frey and across the table the old butler and Vishnal, too sat looking anxiously at her from time to time.

The young male butler was always anxious around her, it seemed. He fussed and fidgeted, stammered and stuttered and generally could not keep his head. As such, Clorica had taken on the bulk of all the butlers’ responsibilities concerning their princess.

An oppressive kind of silence plagued the breakfast table, but Frey could not bring herself to care much about the awkward feelings of her companions. She pushed her plate away from her and swallowed thickly, her throat still tight with emotion.

“Please eat, miss Frey. You will not help anything by neglecting your own needs.” Volkanon insisted, pushing the plate back in front of her. Reluctantly she lifted a fork and picked at her food, occasionally carrying a tiny nibble to her mouth to appease them. It was easier than fighting, at least…

Frey really didn’t have the heart to do much of anything at present. Helplessness pulled her down like a weight slung around her neck. It had been her fault that Bado had been anywhere near the wolf that bit him. He had only been trying to protect her, after all. If she hadn’t gotten them lost until after nightfall… Hell, if she hadn’t insisted on bringing him outside of town to try and talk him into changing in the first place, none of this would have happened. And now… now everyone was telling her there was nothing she could do.

A simmering hatred bubbled in her belly. Doing nothing fed her misery more than anything else… everyone was so intent on sparing her or shielding her eyes from this tragedy they couldn’t see what kind of suffering being made to sit by and do nothing was causing her.

Suddenly as she listlessly turned a potato over with her fork something struck her. She lifted her head, eyes suddenly bright and focused and spoke aloud to the butlers for the first time that morning.

“Did you bring him anything?” Her own voice sounded strange, thick and stiff from disuse and weeping the night before.

“What? Who?” Vishnal piped in his reedy voice. Volkanon’s brow raised uncomprehendingly but Frey felt the knowing sidelong glance of Clorica rest upon her face. Clorica, despite her dreamy, drifting manner and her mysterious tendency to fall asleep at a moment’s notice, often struck Frey as being more perceptive than either of the other butlers where she was concerned. Frey’s throat tightened again, but she forced herself to speak.

“Bado. He must be hungry…” She said stiffly, causing the room to relapse into uncomfortable silence for a beat or two.

“But… He hasn’t returned to us, yet…” Vishnal said timidly in confused tones. “The monster—“

“ _Is_ Bado…” Frey finished for him, looking sternly into the young butler’s eyes.

“We cannot approach without the creature flying into a rage and throwing itself upon the bars in its effort to reach us with tooth and claw. I hesitate very much to think of it as Bado, miss Frey.”

“I saw him change before my eyes.” She said coldly.

“Mr. Volkanon isn’t trying to say he doesn’t believe you, Frey.” Clorica put a hand on her arm. “It’s just hard for the rest of us to accept, is all. None of us saw it like you did.”

“I—it’s clearly not Bado’s mind behind that monster’s eyes, you know? He might be in there somewhere, but the wolf is driving, now. Ventuswill said so…” Vishnal offered with a gesture that seemed to suggest he was being helpful. Frey almost spat in disgust.

“Well… whether you believe it’s just a monster or that it’s still Bado in that cage down there… We need to feed him.” She said flatly, and picked up her plate. She walked out of the room without another word, made her way to the stairway and began the descent once more. Not one of the servants followed her.

A bitter, vindictive little part of her hoped her parting words had made them feel a little shame at least. True, no one in the town save perhaps Kiel and Forte, too, in her own way, had shown any particular attachment to the blacksmith, but to stuff him in a cell out of sight and leave him alone and hungry down here… monster or no… She could not forgive it any more than she could fly.

Her heart ached all over again. It was not as though she herself had any significant ties to him either, but now… now his fate was all that filled her mind. She couldn’t bear to think of leaving him to suffer in isolation after being cursed for his efforts to keep her safe.

‘Why did you have to do that anyway?’ She thought bitterly as she walked silently down the long dim corridor for the second time that morning. ‘If you had just run away and I got bit by the wolf then only I’d be suffering for my failings… Stupid noble bullshit.’

“If only you were as spineless and lazy as you seemed…” She murmured aloud as she approached the end of the row. She paused just before the corner and swallowed. Her hands trembled. “Snap out of it!” she spat, and steeled herself before continuing around the corner and facing the bars of the large cell once more.

Within the dimly lit cell, the huge black wolf raised its head and sniffed the air with its snout in the air eagerly. Then it looked over at her and flipped its ears backward. Rising up off the stone like a smoky black cloud, it growled and paced, bearing its pearly fangs and glaring fiercely through the bars. Frey gulped again and took a few deep breaths. The beast did not lunge toward the bars as it had earlier when Volkanon appeared, but continued to snarl and rumble its displeasure despite an obvious hunger in its gleaming eyes.

‘If you are more a monster than a person, now…’ she thought tentatively, ‘then I still have an advantage.’ She lowered her eyes and walked forward with slow, gentle movements. As an Earthmate she had inherited the legacy of a specific class of people who were closer to growing things and monsters than any other person could be. In her barns adjacent to the fields behind Selphia’s castle, Frey had in her care a multitude of monsters, mostly woollies, cluckadoodles, and buffamoos. She was known for being skilled in taming monsters, though she hardly felt inclined to call it taming.

‘It all comes down to showing no threat…’ she reminded herself in her mind as she approached the bars. The wolf beast was growing more aggressive and furious as its tail lashed and its nails clicked against the stone while it paced back and forth. She drew close to the bars but not close enough that the creature might reach her through them, turned to stand with her side facing the bars, rather than her front, and knelt on the floor, setting the plate down in front of her.

Through her peripheral vision she saw the wolf move away, bristling at the back of the cell by the wall as she drew close to the bars. It licked its teeth and growled constantly, ears flat against its head and neck bent low and crouching. Aggression? Yes this animal was showing a very aggressive front… but it was not fury for fury’s own sake. That stooped, trembling posture could not belong to a confident creature…

She stared resolutely at the breakfast on the plate before her, resisting the urge to look directly at the monster. To lock eyes with him would surely only worsen his fitful display. She waited.

She lost count of her breath and heartbeats as the huge black wolf snarled and salivated and trembled and paced at the back of the cell. Breathing in… breathing out… she held each breath for one heartbeat and promised him silently each time that she would not harm him. By and by she waited, hoping fretfully in the back of her mind that none of the servants would come down here looking for her and interrupt the slow process of trying to win some measure of trust from the wolf in the cage.

Gradually over countless breaths the wolf that had been a tall dwarf with broad shoulders settled lower onto the stone floor and growled less. Once he was more or less quietly watching her from where he now lay on his belly, Frey ventured to move a hand very slowly to the plate. The growling resumed immediately and she paused.

‘I’m sorry… You must be so scared and confused…’ She thought sorrowfully. ‘I’d better switch tactics…’

Slowly, inch by inch she stooped lower and lower, crouching on all fours on the ground and then carefully laying herself upon the stones on her side and facing the cell. She closed her eyes to mere slits and waited patiently once more.

The wolf ceased its growling more quickly this time, perking up its ears and craning its neck toward the front of the cell as it sniffed the air. The smell of eggs and sausage had to be tormenting the creature. She had been hungry the day before while they wandered in the woods and he had not eaten anything since then either. There was no way he did not want for something to fill his empty belly, now.

Inch by inch the beast crept forward, his posture full of tension and apprehension. When he was halfway to the front of the cell and lifting his head to smell the food again, Frey carefully pushed the plate very gently beneath the bottom of the cell door in the gap between the iron and the stone floor. The wolf took half a step back with his body but his eager nose pulled his head forward, giving him a very stretched appearance. She nudged the plate a little further then withdrew her hand and lay quietly waiting again.

“It’s alright… you can eat… no one is going to hurt you…” she murmured softly. The triangular ears atop the creature’s head swiveled toward her and he stared at her with his silver eyes, motionless for a beat or two. Then he moved forward again. “That’s it…” She said quietly, “I know you’re hungry. Come here…”

After what may have been an hour for all she knew, the wolf finally approached the door, sniffing eagerly at the plate until it was confident she would not stir from where she lay motionless on the other side of the bars. Now, the hungry beast devoured the food eagerly, licking the plate clean in a matter of moments and looking up at her as he licked his chops and sniffed the air again.

“It’s not much, I know… You’re even bigger than you were as a man, so I’ll bet you’re going to need more food, too…” she continued to speak in soft tones to him. He stopped his sniffing and bent his head to look down at her where she lay on the cold, damp stones across the barrier of the bars. She opened her eyes and looked up at his without lifting her head. The silvery eyes were not cold mirrors of wrath, now. They gleamed softly in the torchlight without malice and somewhere in the depths of those eyes she felt with firm conviction the impression of intelligence… of awareness she had not known in the eyes of any beast before.

“You _are_ still in there aren’t you?” She murmured, slowly propping herself up to a sitting position. The wolf did not snarl or growl this time. He only watched, unblinking as she sat up and looked at him.

“Bado…” She spoke the name so softly as to be nearly inaudible, but the ears of the wolf pricked up and forward at the sound and he moved forward again, pushing his muzzle between the bars and sniffing at her as best he could from an arm’s length away. “It’s you… It always was…” Frey whispered, raising a hand timidly toward the snout of the huge wolf’s head as it protruded through the bars.

The sniffing nose reached for her. He turned his head a few degrees clockwise to get another half-inch of reach out of the narrow gap between the bars, which creaked softly as he leaned against them. Frey’s hand trembled and her heart climbed into her throat. She moved her hand closer, bit by bit. Something told her to keep going, though a more rational part of her knew that she could be seconds away from receiving a bite and transforming into a nearly mindless beast as well. She couldn’t stop now, though. She had to know…

Her tiny, pale hand with its delicate slender fingers neared the large, broad muzzle and hovered there before the wolf’s wet, black nose as it snuffled curiously. Then he took a long deep breath through his nose and sighed. The tip of a long pink tongue flicked out from between the lips of the wolf and touched her fingers. She let the breath she had been holding out all at once and tears filled her eyes again.

“Oh…” She whimpered. “I knew you hadn’t left us completely… Bado.” The silver eyes of the wolf lit up and held her green ones. She stared back in mingled relief and sadness. “Don’t worry… I won’t leave you here and forget about you.” She murmured softly. A little whine escaped his throat and his ears relaxed. She leaned closer and stroked the wolf’s muzzle gently as he licked at her hands. Tears rolled down her cheeks and the words she should have been able to say to a tall man with softly pointed ears and a short beard came back to her.

“Thank you… for saving me.” She whispered.


	7. Reeling in Her Affection

The still, shining surface of Dragon Lake shattered into a thousand jewel like droplets of water as a sizable silver fish leapt high in the air and splashed back down under the water again in the space of one heartbeat.

“There’s no need to taunt me, ya know. I already know I haven’t caught you yet…” Frey grumbled quietly as she fumbled with a bit of smelly bait and the sharply pointed hook of her simple fishing rod.

“You’re still not doing it right…” A low voice said in irritable tones nearby. Frey sighed and looked up at the lean figure sitting stooped a few paces away on the same shore. Dylas’ tufted ears and swishing bluish tail betrayed a frustration that might have been a perfect picture of how she felt at this moment, not that she could fathom why _he_ should feel that way. _He_ had already caught several fish since he sat down.

It certainly didn’t help seeing him catching so many right off the bat. _He_ didn’t have a huge monster to whom he owed his life waiting in a damp cage with an empty stomach for him to return with food. Her temper simmered in her gut to think of this disagreeable young man wasting time while Bado the wolf sat alone in the dungeon below the castle.

“You know…” She began in a voice just barely held steady and free of the bristling annoyance she felt inside, “It’s not really _helpful_ or anything for you to keep repeating that if you don’t mean to tell me how to do it _right._ ” Dylas looked up at her and blinked, looking a little surprised. She stared peevishly at him.

“You want me to show you how?” he said warily, raising an eyebrow.

“Either that or quit reminding me how bad I am at it.” Frey said flatly, only barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Dylas stood up and walked over to her. He sat down beside her and took the hook and bait from her hands, rearranging it so that it obscured the point of the hook completely. Then he swung the pole in a graceful gesture that sent the hook and float sailing far out into the center of the small freshwater lake. Frey watched silently as he stared at the bobbing float in the distance on the surface of the water. A tiny splash announced the sudden disappearance of the float as it was pulled under and Dylas immediately drew the rod back and began reeling in the fish. In a moment more he was holding up a weakly flopping Cherry salmon of a very respectable size by the line, the shining hook embedded in its lip neatly.

“Huh… Well I guess I’ll concede, Dylas. You _are_ pretty good at fishing.”

“I know.” He replied plainly. “Fishing is about all I do outside of work.” Frey struggled to resist making a very irritated face.

“I just hope I can catch as many as you have soon…” She said with a concerned sigh.

“What do you need so many for?” Dylas asked, perplexed. He unhooked the fish and laid it on the shore between them.

“I, uh… I have a sick monster to feed.” She said evasively.

“Must be a _big_ monster…” He said, raising his eyebrows as he handed her pole back to her. She fixed another piece of bait on the hook and tried to emulate his graceful cast. The hook did not go quite as far as when he sent it flying, but it was at very least far better than her last attempt.

“Yeah…” She sighed, “He really is…” She propped her chin on her hand as she stared in worried attention at the lure in the water. Dylas was quiet for a time; so quiet in fact that Frey forgot he was there.

“D’you… want to take mine? He offered tentatively. She turned and blinked at him in surprise.

“What?”

“I’ll give you my catch… since it sounds like you need it. It’ll just end up mostly in Porcoline’s stomach if I bring it home, after all.” He shrugged.

“Well… I hate to take what you went to the trouble of catching… but that _would_ help me out a lot.” She said slowly.

“It’s no big deal. I come out and fish to relax. I don’t really _need_ to keep them.” The young former guardian said indifferently. The words themselves sounded affable, but his aloof manner spoiled the generous gesture to a degree. Nevertheless, the gift of a good half dozen fish was exactly what she needed just now, so she gratefully accepted them with a smile.

“You have no idea how much this helps, Dylas. Thank you so much!”

“I told you before, it’s no big deal.” He grumbled, blushing.

“Well, it is to me. Thanks, again.” She grinned, her spirit growing buoyant. “I’ve got to run and bring these to Ba—uh… to my monster. I’m betting he is famished by now…” Dylas gave her a suspicious look at her little slip of the tongue, but she didn’t pause to explain it away, running off toward the castle with the bundle of fish wrapped in paper under her arm.

‘I’m coming…’ she said in her mind, ‘I’m on my way. I haven’t forgotten you…’

She ran up to the East door that led directly to her own wing of the castle and dashed inside, hurriedly scraping her shoes on the mat before sprinting across the antechamber to the stairway leading down to the lower levels with drops of lake water forming a trail behind her as she went.

It took about two minutes even at a brisk run to get all the way down the stairs, through the corridor and to the end of the row where Bado’s cage was. She was out of breath as she rounded the corner and came to a stop in front of the black iron bars of the cell.

The shape of the huge black wolf, already growing familiar to her eyes, relaxed from his tense posture as he recognized the sight and scent of her. He cautiously crept toward the door, eyes growing bright as he craned his neck and sniffed at the air.

“Yes these are for you, silly.” Frey chuckled, laying the paper bundle on the stones and unwrapping it. As the aroma of freshly caught fish filled the room, the big black beast whined plaintively and pressed his forequarters against the bars of his cage. Frey wrestled with the twine Dylas had tied the fish with. The slippery residue from the skin of the fish made her fingertips clumsy and ineffective at untying the knotted string. Bado the wolf whined again and stuck a foot between the bars, reaching out and pawing the stone in front of the fish.

Frey stared, wide-eyed at the forelimb as it groped vainly for the food. It was not entirely accurate to describe it as a paw… it was almost a _hand_ of sorts. Yes, the hard, shiny black nails on the ends of his digits were very much like a wolf’s nails. And yes, there were leathery pads on the underside of each one and fur everywhere else… but the way the fifth digit, normally a stumpy dew claw appendage, reached and grasped together with the other four. Surely this was an appendage for manipulating objects… not just a footpad to run upon.

A shrill half-whine, half-cry wavered its way out of the wolf’s throat as it retracted the paw-hand and hunched its shoulders, looking dejectedly at the fish, still.

“Oh! Sorry!” Frey said hurriedly, wrenching a fish out of the twine binding by breaking its spine and squeezing it between two other fish. Bado the wolf sprang up and shoved his muzzle through the bars again, making frustrated little noises as he waited eagerly for the food.

Frey hesitated a moment, and decided it would be safest to shove the fish below the door, rather than risk the hungry monster biting her fingers, even by accident, as she tried to hand the fish through the bars at his eye-level. He followed her closely on the other side of the barrier, his nose pointed always at the fish. She was quite sure hunger trumped any awareness he might have of her, just now.

Just as she carefully shoved the head of the fish under the door he snapped down on it with his jaws, giving a hiccup of a growl in his hurry to bring the fish into his mouth. Frey snatched her hands back in surprise, but recognized only desperate voracious hunger in her beast acquaintance.

Having torn the fish into large mouthfuls, Wolf Bado downed the meat in such a hurry Frey feared that he might choke. But in no time flat he was licking his chops again and quivering with anticipation as he stared at the pile of fish on the unfolded paper, and back at her.

“Yes, yes. They’re all for you.” She laughed. “But we should work on your manners a little. Even if you don’t remember how to behave like a man, you’d better at least have good manners for a monster.” He tilted his head curiously at her and whined again.

She pulled out a second fish, more easily now that the bundle was not so tight, and placed it just out of his reach in front of the gap under the door. Now that the edge had been taken off his hunger a little, he was not quite so frantic, but he still stuck a paw-hand through the gaps in the door to reach for the thing in vain effort.

“Not so fast.” She chided, placing a hand on the fish. He looked up at her and made a frustrated noise. “I’m going to let you have it… you just need to settle down and take it calmly, okay?” Some distant part of her briefly thought how ridiculous it was to speak to him like this, but she stopped her train of thought and stared as he immediately laid down, sphinxlike with his paws on the stone before him and watched her face very intently.

Wordlessly, Frey pressed the fish beneath the door and watched in amazement as the monster bent his neck and pulled the fish the rest of the way through carefully, his eyes still turned upward to watch her face.

“Much better…” she murmured in a faraway voice. He brightened and stood up again to chomp down the second fish.

Frey stared in some confusion at the wolf as he ate. Once he had finished and looked up at her again, licking bits of meat and scales from his chops, she ventured the question at the front of her mind.

“Bado…” She spoke the name slowly and clearly. The wolf stood very still and stared directly into her eyes, seeming to forget about the remaining fish, for the moment. “Can you… understand me?” Wolf Bado stuck his nose through the bars and sniffed at her again, then whined and sat down

“Hm…” She murmured softly. “I wish I knew how much of you is still the same…” She put a hand up to the bars and he sniffed it and licked at it in a friendly manner. “You seem just like an animal… and… _not_ like an animal, too.”

She offered him a third fish right from her hands this time and he took it gently and carefully, eating at a milder pace in a more contemplative manner, almost as if he were having a conversation with her over dinner, only she was doing all the talking.

“You aren’t any easier to figure out as a wolf than you are as a man…” She sighed. “But at least it’s easier to talk to you when you’re like this…” He looked up at her and tilted his head.

“Heh… I wonder if you’d be excited to know you don’t have to do any work now. Sure seems like the regular you would be all for it if you could _choose_ when you changed… oh…” the wording of her musing panged her conscience. Wolf Bado looked at her again and stuck his snout through the bars, looking almost conciliatory at her with those shining eyes.

“I really _am_ sorry for getting you into this mess. You may have been a pretty odd fellow, but I had no business trying to tell you what kind of man to be… and now look where I’ve landed us.” She said glumly. Wolf Bado stood up and pawed through the bars, pushing his muzzle between them and whining in frustration at the barrier. Frey laughed softly and inched closer to the door. The wolf shifted his weight on his paws excitedly and leaned readily into her slender hands as she reached through the bars and petted his fluffy neck.

“You’re pretty cute as a monster, you know that?” She smirked, scratching behind his sable-soft ears while his eyelids drooped in evident enjoyment. “I’m pretty good with monsters… probably better than I am with people… so don’t worry. I’ll look after you until we can figure out how to change you back.” She smiled softy as he grinned a satisfied wolf-grin with tongue lolling out while she scratched his thick fur.

“I’m going to have to give you a bath soon, though. You are going to smell terrible eating so much fish if I don’t, after all.”


	8. Keeping Low Company

“MISS FREY!” Volkanon shouted in dismay and snatched her up in his arms from where she was kneeling in front of Wolf Bado’s cell, extending a hand for him to sniff at as she greeted him first thing in the morning. The huge black monster snarled savagely and reared up on his hind legs, grabbing the bars of his cage with his huge paw-hands. Frey stared wide-eyed. Had his paws been so articulate and hand-like the day before? She couldn’t be certain, but it sure _seemed_ like they had become more dexterous and man-like overnight. Plus, he was not dropping back to all fours readily, either.

“You mustn’t stand so close! You’re sure to be bitten!” The butler boomed over the sound of the monsters growling protest.

“He’s—rrgh—not dangerous!” Frey barked as she struggled against the huge man’s grip. “Put me _down_!”

“Certainly not, if you’re going to take such risks!” the butler bit back.

“He’s only freaking out because you barged in here and grabbed me!” She spat. “He was perfectly docile a moment ago.”

The huge monster flexed his shoulders with a vicious snarling growl in the cell, still standing upright and bristling. The iron bars groaned and began to warp in the grip of his hands.

“VOLKANON! I ORDER YOU TO PUT ME DOWN _NOW_!” the little princess roared. The butler startled and obeyed, perhaps only out of sheer habit. As soon as her feet touched the ground Wolf Bado’s ears stood up and he ceased growling but he did not release his grip on the bars and maintained an anxious fixated stare upon her.

She turned and glared up at the butler once he had released her. Behind her she could hear the monster in the cage pacing anxiously now behind the bars and growling softly.

“He’s only acting like that because you startled him.” She said scornfully.

“Princess! I insist you keep in mind that he is a _monster_ at present and not his usual self. You cannot trust him. Ventuswill herself said so!” He said sternly. Frey glanced back at Wolf Bado, who had flipped his ears back and snarled at the butler as if offended by his words.

“I know my way around monsters. I’m an Earthmate. This is what I was born to do, got it? Just stay back and leave him to me. He trusts me, so it’s only natural that I trust him too.”

“But—“

“Quit arguing with me and see for yourself!” she barked, and turned around and walked back over to the cage. As she neared the wolf reared up on his hind legs and leaned on the bars again, gripping them with his uncanny paw-hands complete with fully opposable thumbs. Frey looked at them again. Two days ago when she had brought him the first batch of fish he had taken them with his mouth and not used the hands to grasp the bars… she was quite sure now that the hands had not been so articulate. He wedged his nose through the bars as she drew near

“Hey, it’s okay! See? I’m right here.” She murmured. One of the huge wolf hands slipped deftly through the bars and grasped at her, wrapping the furred and padded fingers around her arm and tugging her close against the bars. A little ‘oh’ of surprise escaped her and she stared in wonder as he pressed his nose against her hair, neck, chest, and stomach, intent it seemed on checking every inch of her. As his wolf nose snuffled lower she gasped a startled little ‘eep’, wrapped her pale hands around his muzzle and tugged it back upward. “No, no!” She scolded. He let go of her arm in surprise and stared. “That’s very bad manners for a beast as well as a man, you know.” The monster blinked silently at her a moment and then sighed, relaxing more of the weight of his great head into her outstretched hands.

“My word…” Volkanon marveled quietly behind her. She stroked the monster’s head affectionately as his big bottle-brush tail swished back and forth over the stones. After a moment she turned and looked sternly at the butler once more.

“Do you believe me now?” He swallowed and blinked at her, amazement written all over his old face.

“I am… speechless. How…” He trailed off.

“I told you, already. I’m an Earthmate. It’s just my nature, I guess.” She shrugged.

“You are a most remarkable young woman.” He said clumsily, stiffening his back. She gave the compliment no acknowledgment but took advantage of the butler’s awe as best she could.

“This is why you all need to trust my judgment when it comes to him. You don’t have to do anything, just leave him to me. I’ll take good care of him.”

“I… suppose, if you’re… quite sure, you—“ he fumbled, breaking off as she turned around again. A groping wolf paw was reaching through the bars again, struggling to get a handful of her clothing to pull her close again. She blanched and seized the paw-hand in her own two slender hands, turning it over with a serious expression.

Only now did she notice the pads were cracked and raw, red and patchy where the damp, rough stone of the cell had rubbed them ragged during all his pacing. She looked around the cage. It would have been oversized for a single human prisoner but to a monster his size it was a wholly inadequate enclosure. She reached up and grasped gently around his muzzle, lifting the fuzzy lips on one side of his face to look at his teeth and gums. He fidgeted a little and licked his teeth but patiently bore her prodding nonetheless. The gums and lips were nicked and inflamed from gnawing on the bars of his cage in his nervous boredom between the times she was there to feed or talk to him. Her brow twisted into a rueful, guilty look.

“I need to take him out of here.” She said firmly.

“Heavens, no!” Volkanon snapped to attention. “I will not allow it!” She spun on him with an angry shout.

“This is no place to house a monster! There isn’t even anywhere for him to lie down comfortably or go to the bathroom without soiling the very place he’s stuck in! I can’t even give him a bath down in here! I’m taking him to one of my monster barns and housing him there and that’s final! I won’t let him run wild so there’s no point in you arguing with me over it.”

“On the contrary! I cannot allow you to risk everyone’s safety like this. Have you forgotten what lady Ventuswi—“

“I know, Volkanon, I was there.” She huffed, stepping forward and glaring up at him.

“Then you should understand why there is no way I can agree to that.” He said firmly with a frown.

“Fine!” She snapped, and snatched the key ring from the blunt hook on his belt, “Then I’ll stay in there with him until you understand how inhumane this is!” She turned and stalked back over to the cell door.

“Miss Frey!” Volkanon spluttered, reaching a hand out in dumbfounded protest. “You can’t possibly—“

“Bado. Please go back to the wall.” She said firmly, pointing to the back of the empty cell. Wolf Bado pricked up his ears and backed up slowly until he was sitting back on his haunches, watching her intently as she approached the door. She quickly unlocked the cell door with the large ancient iron key amongst smaller, brighter newer keys all lined up on the ring, slipped inside, pulled it closed and tossed the key ring back over toward the butler just as the lock clicked shut again.

No sooner than she was able to turn back around, the huge monster was right in front of her, towering over her small frame with his huge shoulders and head as he sat up again. She swallowed. He looked so much bigger on this side of the bars…

His silvery eyes shone brightly as he looked intently down into her eyes. She stood frozen, just breathing, just waiting…

The wolf dropped to all fours and with a start, Frey realized that his head was at eye level with her when he stood like this. She gulped again and held her breath. His huge head loomed closer, the muzzle sniffing at her slender neck. With a jolt she remembered again the feeling of long sharp teeth around her throat, pressing just shy of puncturing her throat and ending her brief existence. Something in the huge monster’s eyes looked pained. He whined, as if in sympathy with her fearful recollection, and sat down. A moment later he raised his pawed hands and spread them wide in front of him, more like a man’s outstretched arms altogether than the forelimbs of a canid. The huge hands gently grasped her sides over her arms and squeezed gently. This odd embrace, though surprising in its own right, was nothing to the next moment, however.

Slowly and deliberately, the warm wet tongue of the wolf dragged up over her slender throat, carefully… almost apologetic. Was that just her imagination? The wolf licked her neck again, whining softly in his throat. Her eyes widened and watered in pure, stupefied wonder and sadness.

“Hey… It’s okay… I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me…” She reached up and stroked his muzzle, murmuring softly to him. He looked intently into her eyes and his ears flattened against his head. The remorseful expression was unmistakable. Frey swallowed. There was no denying what she was seeing. “Bado… don’t look at me like that… please… I forgive you. Don’t feel bad.” She whispered quietly to him, hoping Volkanon could not hear.

The fuzzy black ears of the wolf lifted slightly and his sorrowful gaze lightened. She turned to glare at the butler once more.

“As you can see, he is perfectly gentle with me. I’ll just stay in here with him so he’ll have some company while we wait for Venti to get back and restore reason to this madhouse. I hope you’ll remember to bring enough food for both of us because I will give him mine if you fail to bring enough to keep him from going hungry. You won’t let me starve and rot in a cell, will you Mr. Volkanon?” She raised an eyebrow at him through the bars.

“M-miss Frey… There is really no need for this…” He stammered in a helpless voice.

“Clearly there is.” She said darkly. “Do come to your senses soon, Volkanon. I do not want to spend any more time in here than I have to in order for you agree to let me house him in my barn. She walked to the back of the cell and sat down. Wolf Bado curled around her and rumbled a soft crooning noise in his throat. She scratched his ears affectionately. “At least you won’t be alone, now.” She said audibly to him, then glared up at the butler once more as he frowned unhappily back at her from outside the cell.

“I will fetch you some breakfast, then, I suppose.” The old butler grumbled reluctantly.

“Thank you.” Frey replied simply.

Bonus image: Frey as Little red riding hood with Wolf Bado  


  
[ ](http://s30.photobucket.com/user/IUseMyPowersForEvil/media/Big-Bado-Wolf-01_zpsad9dcb10.jpg.html)   



	9. Companions in Confinement

“Miss Frey… I really don’t see why you have to do something so bull headed… Can’t you just wait for Lady Ventuswill? You are putting Mr. Volkanon in a very distressing position, you know.” Clorica looked imploringly at Frey through the bars, frowning with her brow furrowed.

“I’ll bet it’s not as distressing as wasting away in a prison cell with nothing whatsoever for comfort for no good reason.” Frey said peevishly, wringing out a washcloth over the bucket of warm water Clorica had just set down right on the other side of the row of iron bars. She turned and tugged at one of Wolf-Bado’s wrists until, in some confusion, he lifted it in front of him for her. Turning it over with only a little difficulty, she dabbed at it where the footpads had cracked and bled from overuse on the hard, rough stones of the prison floor. A shrill whine sounded softly from behind his closed jaws and he winced his huge head backward, but did not snatch his paw away. Frey stared at him with a dubious expression.

“You are amazing with monsters, Frey.” Clorica said softly in awe.

“I am.” Frey replied, “But no one is _that_ good… There’s more to this than my being a gifted Earthmate.”

“What do you mean?” The young butler’s dreamy voice replied.

“Come here, Clorica. Take a good look at him.” The princess said, beckoning her friend through the bars.

“Oh… I don’t—“

“Please, Clorica… I promise he won’t hurt you, but you needn’t reach into the cage. Just come closer and look at him, okay?”

The Lady Butler did not reply, but reluctantly inched closer, still leaning away from the cell as much as possible. Her hands gripped a short stack of washrags to her chest so tightly that her knuckles grew white.

Wolf Bado looked at Clorica and flipped an ear without any significant show of interest or concern. She gave a tiny ‘oh’ and froze. The monster blinked and stared at her a moment or two more before turning back to Frey and nudging her shoulder with his broad muzzle.

“Bado…” Frey said slowly. The Wolf’s ears turned toward her face attentively and he grew still. “Do you remember Clorica?” The lady butler’s expression grew more startled for a beat and she inhaled suddenly as the huge dark head turned and fixed Wolf Bado’s silvery eyes on her. He leaned forward and sniffed in her direction without approaching the bars before looking back at Frey and tilting his head slightly.

“C-can he understand you?” Clorica stammered.

Frey stared at the wolf’s face, concentrating fiercely on detecting any subtle sign in his unreadable demeanor. After a few seconds she sighed and sat back.

“I can’t tell… He definitely acts like he understands more than the average monster, but as to whether he remembers the meaning of all our words I can’t be certain…” She muttered distantly. Then an idea struck her. She folded her hands over her knees and determinedly sat very still and compact in her posture. “Bado, please fold your arms like this.” She said calmly and levelly, without looking down at or moving her arms once they were in position. Nothing other than the meaning of the term ‘folded arms’ would have given the monster the understanding to do what she asked.

Wolf Bado sat back on his haunches and looked at his own furred arms and paw-hands, blinking and flicking an ear. Slowly, he crossed them in front of his chest and awkwardly fumbled with the placement of his hands such that he looked up at Frey’s arms for a moment and back at his own as he adjusted.

The two women stared from both inside and outside of the cell. It certainly wasn’t a perfect imitation, but there was no question that he could comprehend her words.

“You _do_ understand me!” Frey said in an excited exhalation. Bado’s silver eyes brightened and his tail swished excitedly over the stones of the floor again.

“Oh my!” Clorica gasped. “Frey! This is all the more reason you _can’t_ stay in here with him!” The monster and the princess looked up at her with equally indignant expressions.

“Why would that be the case?” Frey shot back, raising an eyebrow. “The way I see it this makes it even more imperative that I do everything I can to convince Volkanon to let me take him out of here. It’s inhumane for a monster and dehumanizing for a person! I’ll stay right here all night if I have to. I’m not leaving him alone in this awful place.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

Wolf Bado gave a strange, excited yelp and leaned forward to lick Frey’s face. She leaned back in surprise but didn’t manage to escape a broad swipe of his long tongue up the side of her face.

“Aw jeeze!” She laughed, trying to wipe her face off on her arm.

“ _Princess!_ ” Clorica insisted anxiously. “You’re so eager to convince us all that this monster and Bado are one and the same that you’ve completely missed what that _means_! You can’t sleep in a prison cell alone together with Bado or have him _licking_ you, for heaven’s sake!” The lady butler was wringing one of the washrags in her hands anxiously. Frey felt a bright red flush take over her features.

“B-but he’s only doing that _because_ he’s in the form of a monster right now! It’s not like—he—I’m not—” Her thread of logic dissolved into nervous broken nonsense before long as she pleaded with her eyes for Clorica to say no more of such an embarrassing notion. She took a breath and tried valiantly to put a close to the notion. “It’s got nothing to do with that and as long as he’s a monster there’s no need to even think of it that way!” She nodded sternly “But in any case, I’m not giving up. You go tell Volkanon that he knows how he can put an end to whatever impropriety you all read in this arrangement.”

Clorica sighed miserably and reluctantly handed Frey another washcloth when she reached through the bars for one.

“Bathing him yourself is pretty inappropriate too…” She muttered unhappily.

“Well? Are _you_ going to give him the dignity of not being covered in filth?” Frey asked hotly as she dunked the cloth in the warm water and wrung it out with significantly more force than was strictly necessary.

“But why _you?_ Shouldn’t his family be taking care of him?” Clorica rebuffed.

“Wait a second, that is a good point.” Frey replied, furrowing her brow in confusion. “Where are Forte and Kiel? Why haven’t they been visiting?”

“They certainly tried while you were out fishing yesterday.” Vishnal said, abruptly appearing next to Clorica, who had lapsed into one of her sudden uncontrollable slumbers. Bado put his ears back and growled low in his throat. Recovering quickly from her surprise at Vishnal’s unforeseen entrance, Frey grabbed the huge wolf’s muzzle and turned it toward her, shaking a finger at him.

“No, no! How do you expect me to convince them to let me take you out if you act so rude?” She chided. He rumbled in protest and looked at her with no small measure of reluctance for a beat, but then sulkily settled down to the floor, propping his chin on his folded forelimbs.

“Can he understand you?” Vishnal asked with wide eyes.

“Sure seems that way.” Frey replied, shrugging.

“WAIT A SECOND!” Vishnal suddenly shouted, causing Bado to whip his head up warily and huff a short, startled woof. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? COME OUT THIS INSTANT!” He spluttered, fumbling for his key ring only to remember with a start that only Volkanon possessed a key to the cell.

Bado bristled and began to growl again, only to check himself and look sheepishly back at Frey, who had knelt by his head to stroke and sooth him after the butler’s outburst.

“Jeeze! Stop yelling!” She snapped. “You’re going to freak him out. Don’t you know anything about monsters?” Vishnal stared, open-mouthed as she petted and stroked the great wolf head. The monster, for his part, leaned into her every touch and eventually became so enraptured with her attentions that he put an arm around her midriff and pulled her closer, licking her neck and face while she spluttered and tried to fend him off with her skinny arms.

“H-hey!” Vishnal stammered, suddenly beet-red, “Stop that! If you really are Bado, you should know you can’t do that! Keep your hands—and your _tongue_ especially—off of her!” He finished at volume, his fists balled at his sides.

“He’s not himself, right now, Vish. He’s not an ordinary monster but he’s certainly not a man right now. It doesn’t mean anything like what you’re thinking so just drop it. You don’t need to make it weird. Sheesh, didn’t I _just_ have this conversation?” She slowly pried herself loose from the monster’s surprisingly gentle grip and walked over to the bars in front of Vishnal, who stammered and stuttered an unintelligible reply full of not-quite apology and a hefty dose of embarrassment, too.

“Never mind that, though. What were you saying about Forte and Kiel?” She pressed him. Just then Clorica snorted and snapped her eyes open again.

“Oh hello Vishnal.” She said, yawning. The other butler ignored her lapse in consciousness and her recovery equally.

“I was saying Kiel and Forte came to see him while you were out fishing but he was just as savage toward them as he was to the rest of us at the time. They were both very distressed, as you can imagine, so we sat with them upstairs and made them some tea. Kiel said he thought he had read something about ‘lycanthropy’ in a book of legends at some point. He said those afflicted are called ‘werewolves’ or something like that.”

“Oh and Kiel said that the legend said something about lifting the curse by killing the wolf that bit the person.” Clorica added.

“…So Forte ran off with her sword in hand and declared she would vanquish the beast and cure him.” Vishnal shrugged. “No one but Kiel has seen much of her since then.”

“Oh! How reckless can she get?!” Frey exclaimed indignantly, become so roused that her huge familiar nudged her anxiously with his enormous, furry head. “How will she even know when she’s found it? Is she just running around cutting down wolves at random?” She threw her arms up in exasperation. Bado the wolf whined again and raised a big paw-hand toward her anxiously. Turning to smile and pat the limb reassuringly, she spoke in more mild tones. “Hey, now. No need to worry. I’m not going to run off. But I wish you’d raised her to think things through a little better before charging off.” The big wolf tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “Yeah I’ll bet you’d just say ‘ _you_ try telling her what to do’ or something like that.” She sighed with a half-smile.

“Frey… I really don’t think this is such a good idea.” Clorica ventured again.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’ve heard enough. I’m not coming back out of this cell without him so if one or both of you could bring some dinner for us soon I’d be very grateful.” She said levelly. Clorica frowned and walked out, shaking her head. Vishnal remained, looking back and forth between Frey and the monster dubiously.

“I’ll try and talk to Volkanon for you… but I doubt he’ll budge before Ventuswill comes back.” The young man set fretfully, an anxious expression haunting his features as he watched the huge beast inch closer to the princess and loom over her with a protective air.

“Thanks Vishnal. I appreciate it.” She replied, absentmindedly scratching the fur of the wolf’s neck. The young man stood by awkwardly for a breath or two more before following after Clorica down the corridor. Once he had gone, Bado the wolf aligned his long face with Frey’s and looked directly and determinedly in her eyes. She squinted curiously at those eyes.

“Are your eyes bluer today?” She murmured aloud. There was no doubt in her mind those eyes had been devoid of color, only flashing with a silvery sheen the night he had first changed.

Come to think of it… He was sitting upright a lot today too. She stepped back a pace and looked him up and down while he tilted his head this way and that, looking back at her in mirrored curiosity.

“Here you are.” Clorica said softly from outside the cell. She had returned already carrying a platter of grilled fish, rice and veggies. “Vishnal is bringing more.”

“Ah! Thank you very much. He has a pretty big appetite.” Frey smiled cheerfully at her butler. She accepted the plate with both hands as Clorica passed it beneath the door where the wide gap below the bars allowed it.

Frey stood up and held the dish out to the huge wolf, who was leaning forward in eager anticipation, already salivating by the look of his tongue licking his lips repeatedly. But he did not move to take or eat the food, only looking anxiously into her eyes.

“Well? Go on and take it. They won’t let _me_ go hungry, after all, so you eat first, okay?” She gestured toward him with the plate again. His triangular ears stood up excitedly atop his head and he carefully reached out with his large, padded hands and took the plate gently and steadily from her.

Frey and Clorica both stared at the huge Wolf, very man-like to their eyes suddenly, carefully and politely eating from the plate as he held it up on his own. He sat back on his haunches and took mouthfuls of fish into his muzzle without any of the ferocity with which he had inhaled the first couple meals Frey had brought him previously.

“Wow… Your manners sure have improved.” Frey said approvingly. Clorica looked sidelong at her with a worried expression.

“What is going on, Frey? What is he?” She said softly.

“He’s Bado.” She replied simply. “Just a different version of himself, I suppose.”


	10. Making Her Case

Morning came with no announcement. No windows let the sunrise in. No butlers woke her. Frey merely opened her eyes and blinked groggily without prompting. She guessed it was around 6am. She was so used to getting up at that hour, it didn’t matter whether she had a wake-up call or not. Dimly she began to realize she was not in her bed. Then her eyes snapped open and she wondered in her sleepy delirium whether she was still dreaming.

She was sprawled out on top of something large and warm, covered in fur and softly rising and falling. Still thoroughly confused, she sat upright in a hurry, startling the monster beneath her awake with a snort. His head twisted around to look up at her. She stared back at him as the memory of the day before came back to her bit by bit. Then she blinked rapidly and leaned closer to his head. The silvery eyes were decidedly more blue today even than they had been yesterday. There was no use trying to convince herself otherwise. Bado the wolf was changing somehow.

“Good morning, Bado…” She mumbled, still reeling as she tried to take it all in. The stirring of his bottle-brush tail wagging behind her reminded her that she was sitting on top of him. “Oops! Sorry!” She said, embarrassed, and slid down off of him, hurrying to straighten her clothing. He stretched mightily and shook himself, turning to look at her curiously as she fidgeted.

‘Come on now, Frey. You just got done telling Clorica and Vishnal it doesn’t mean anything, so snap out of it.’ She thought furiously. She looked at the innocent, animal face of the creature her acquaintance had become and shook her nervousness off.

“You’d better not tease me about this when we get you back to normal.” She sighed. “I’m only doing it for your sake, after all.” With a twinge, she realized some part of her protested that this wasn’t quite true. Frowning she pushed the thought away and reached high in the air to stretch herself out.

“I sure hope that stubborn old coot lets us out soon. This place sucks.” She sighed, looking around the barren stone room and wondering how long she could avoid having to make use of the distinct lack of bathroom.

As if summoned by her thought, the sound of jangling keys and a brisk step echoed down the hall. She stepped closer to the bars and craned her neck. Bado the wolf Fidgeted behind her anxiously but refused to come up to the iron bars.

Volkanon’s tall frame appeared suddenly before her and looked at her with a mixture of unhappy emotions. Bado wrapped a paw-hand around Frey’s waist and backed up, tugging her away from the Butler and growling.

“Hey, stop that.” She pried open his padded fingers and addressed Volkanon, “Have you come to let us out?”

“Lady Ventuswill has returned and she requests that you bring him to the Dragon hall immediately. Can you do it safely?” He looked doubtfully at her and then the huge bristling monster behind her.

“Yeah, I think so, but it will be a lot easier if we don’t run into anyone on our way up to the dragon hall. Do you think you can make sure no one is in our path?” Frey asked in what she hoped was a reasonably confident tone. She had been so preoccupied with convincing the butler to let her take Bado to one of her monster barns that she hadn’t given any thought to the actual risks of moving him from one place to another.

So far she had every reason to believe he would not harm her but who was to say that he would not bolt and run off? She turned and looked at him again. To her surprise he was shifting his weight and looking decidedly anxious.

“If I bring you to Venti, you’ll stay right by my side, right?” She asked warily. Clearly in answer to her query, the huge wolf beast stepped close and sat back on his haunches just beside her, still gazing suspiciously sidelong at Volkanon all the while. “Well, alright then let’s try it.” She said, taking a deep breath. Volkanon bowed and walked out down the hall. Frey waited a few minutes to be sure he’d had time to clear the path of any persons that might startle or be startled by the enormous wolf monster, then with a hand outstretched to touch his thickly furred neck, she led him down the corridor, softly speaking reassurances all along the way.

For his part, Bado the wolf crept along in a crouched posture, his every movement speaking volumes of uncertainty. Frey stroked him and murmured comfort into his big ears whenever he paused. Gradually he began to walk more smoothly as they met no interference or obstacles. By the time they made it up the stairs and reached the Dragon Hall, he was practically chipper.

Frey held her breath as they passed under the archway entrance, half expecting him to panic upon seeing the monolithic dragon towering over them. But he did not spook at all, quite the opposite, to her surprise: he sprang forward and darted about happily in front of her with his tail flailing wildly in his excitement.

“Bless my tail, you are certainly in better spirits!” The dragon rumbled “Settle down and let me look at you.” She put out a winged forelimb and pinned the exuberant monster down gently. He squirmed a bit under her talons but showed no evidence of fear, panting and looking up at her with his silver-blue eyes from beneath her dragon paw. Frey stepped closer and addressed the dragon.

“Welcome back, Venti. Has Volkanon spoken with you about my proposal?” She spoke cautiously, despite her burning eagerness below the surface. The dragon ignored her, letting the wolf up now that he had gotten over his initial excitement.

“Hmmm.” She hummed sonorously, “You have changed quite a bit already. I’d say that goes a long way towards proving my theory.” She nodded her great feathered head.

“What? What theory? How has he changed? Are you talking about his hands and eyes?” Frey let the questions spill out from her mouth, too excited to filter her thoughts.

“You mean you don’t see it? Oh, but then, Volkanon did say you have spent much time with him since he was bitten, so perhaps that is why you haven’t noticed.”

“Noticed _what?_ ” Frey said impatiently.

“He is changing back.” Ventuswill said confidently, “Albeit gradually, but he is certainly less of a wolf and more of a man than last I saw him. It’s not just the hands and eyes, either. Everything about him is transitioning between wolf and man, all on his own.”

“He _what_?” Frey gasped, a confusion of emotions tangling up together in their hurry to come out all at once. “B-but I thought… The curse! You said—“

“I said I expected him to resume the form of a man the morning after he was bitten, once the full moon passed into its waning phase. That is how all reported human cases of lycanthropy have progressed. The human changes back until the following full moon, at which point the monster takes over again and the person is lost to a furious rage and hunger, often committing terrible violence to anyone they come in contact with.”

Frey covered her mouth with her hands. Having grown accustomed to the gentle character of the not-quite wolf, she was horrified to imagine him on a murderous rampage fueled by blind bestial rage. She looked over at him where he sat very still, looking up at Venti with a puzzled, attentive expression.

“But, he is _not_ human and so the ‘curse’ is not affecting him like a human.” Ventuswil said with a decisive air.

“S-so… it’s different… for dwarves?” Frey ventured. Venti nodded slowly.

“I enlisted the assistance of a scholar in the king’s house who has access to documents and texts found nowhere else in Norad. His research over the last few days indicates that there have been one or two cases reported that insist the curse behaves very differently with Non-human persons, but at the root it is fundamentally the same.”

“But, he will change back? For some length of time, at least?”

“I cannot say anything for certain, but judging by the change in him thus far, it is my guess that he will transition further toward his original form as the days pass. It may still be aligned with the moon’s phases or it may take longer than a single lunar cycle. And… In all likelihood his case will be similar to those alluded to in the research and he will turn back to wolf and then to man again and again, like the turning of a wheel. But… that is all speculation until we see how he actually progresses. All we can do is wait and see.” 

“Venti… You won’t let him be imprisoned in that horrible cell down there any longer, will you?” Frey’s voice was quiet and pleading. She did not take the same brash tone as she had with the butlers. This _was_ Ventuswill, the Divine Wind, after all. She could hardly be trying to boss a god around, regardless of how firm her conviction on the matter was.

“He still has the potential to spread the curse. It would not be right to expose the citizens to such a risk… bad enough that _one_ of our number suffers this uncertain fate…” The dragon rumbled.

“But he’s _gentle_!” Frey pleaded, wringing her hands. “He won’t hurt anyone… I’ll keep him in my fields and monster barns and take care of everything to do with him.” She insisted. Ventuswill narrowed her eyes at the princess. Bado the wolf had been watching each of their faces in turn as they spoke. Now, he stepped slowly over to Frey and put an arm around her from the side, pulling her into an affectionate nuzzle of his big snout. Ventuswill stared at him as he sat back and pulled the princess further into his half-man, half-monster embrace. She kept her eyes trained on the dragon, waiting anxiously for a reply and not trying in the least to extricate herself from his insistent grasp.

“Well he’s certainly taken a shine to you, that’s for sure…” Ventuswill allowed dubiously, “But I wonder if he will be keen on the idea if he manages to resume his original form and mind for any length of time. You’ve been telling everyone he’s not just a monster, but do you realize what that means?”

“You sound too much like Clorica right now.” Frey muttered.

“It means, no matter what he looks like or how he is acting now, he is still a man somewhere in there… He is not one of your monsters and you _cannot_ treat him as such.”

“I _know_ that, Venti. But no one’s giving him the dignity a man deserves _or_ the care I can give him as a monster. He’s better off with me for now.” She felt the justice in her cause and stood firm. The dragon squinted at her a while longer. In the interim, Bado the wolf released the princess and set her down gently.

“Bado.” The dragon said suddenly calling the monster’s attention. He looked up at her immediately. “Can you speak?” She asked briskly. Frey blinked in surprise. She was so accustomed to Venti being the only monster who ever spoke to her that she hadn’t even wondered at the possibility since Bado had not volunteered to do so thus far. He scrunched his nose, concentrating for a moment or two then began a sound in his throat.

“hhhhhrrrrrr….”

So far it just sounded like an odd version of the throaty noises typical of wolf monsters. He tried again.

“Hhhrrrrrrrrrey.” Frey blinked and Ventuswill flared out her feathers. Bado looked delighted, his tongue lolling out from a wide, toothy wolf grin.

“Hrrey! Hrey!” He chanted, looking at her brightly.

“Hmm.” Venti rumbled.

“A-are you saying… my name?” Frey asked, stupefied. He jumped to all fours and bounced on his paws, plainly pleased with his limited speech.

“Bado, pay attention now.” Venti chided. He turned back to her, tail still wagging, “Can you understand everything I am saying to you now? Please touch your paw to your nose if you can.” He looked puzzled for a beat or two, but then raised one wolf-hand and cupped the palm over the end of his snout. Venti roused her feathers again in satisfaction at his response.

“Do you remember when you were a man?” She spoke slow and firm to him. His chipper demeanor slackened and his tail ceased it’s wagging. He looked down, narrowing his eyes as if concentrating. …But in the end he sat down on his rear and scratched at his neck with a foot, tilting his head uncomprehendingly at her when he’d finished. “So you can’t, huh?” She muttered. Frey cringed. It wasn’t like she hadn’t already surmised as much, but at the same time it was far from comfortable to admit that if he were in his right mind he probably would have abhorred the level of familiarity she had taken with him. She looked at him with a pained expression.

Bado the wolf put his ears back anxiously and crept close to her in a stooped posture, he looked hard into her green eyes with his silver-blue ones, wild as wilderness but clearly sapient and caring, too. It wasn’t easy to read a canine’s expression, but she thought she recognized concern in his face. She resolved to make her case one more time.

“Venti… I am an Earthmate…. the only Earthmate in Selphia. If Bado were ill, we would entrust him to the care of Jones and Nancy without a second thought… but he isn’t ill… he’s changed into a monster… and _I’m_ the one with the greatest expertise when it comes to monsters in this town.” The dragon flattened her plumage and looked hard at the princess for a long moment. Then she turned her gaze back to the wolf monster, currently licking his paw and rubbing the pads of his palm over the fur atop his head as though he were straightening his hair experimentally.

“Bado.” Venti called his attention a third time. He looked up obediently, but continued to lean closer to Frey all the while. “Do you want to stay with Frey for the time being?” She asked levelly.

He appeared to think hard, as if trying to remember something, then, slowly and awkwardly like a man learning the gesture for the first time, he nodded to the dragon. It was halting and clumsy, but it was unmistakably a nod.

“Hm. Very well, then. I doubt you’ll be thanking me when you come back to yourself and realize how absurd this is, but I don’t want to see you confined in any cruel fashion any more than she does, and…” She turned her great head to Frey. “You _are_ the best qualified to keep him safe and happy for as long as he is trapped in the mind and body of a monster.”

“Oh, _thank_ you, Venti. I promise I won’t let you down. You can trust me with him, I promise.” She assured the Divine Dragon breathlessly.

“Just remember, Frey… You cannot assume any responsibility over him once he has changed back to a man, and it may not be clear when that has happened when it comes to his mind. You must be prepared to see that change for what it is as soon as it occurs… and you must be ready to let him go when it does.” Her tone was heavy with warning. Frey looked at the happy, grinning, panting face of the wolf monster as he sat beaming at her.

He certainly didn’t seem anything like the lethargic, lazy blacksmith-turned-shopkeeper she had loosely known before. This was a monster full of more youthful vigor and simple joy than she had ever read in the tall dwarf. _He_ always had an air of holding back… of keeping to himself all that he knew but refused to admit to. He was closed to the world, convinced of some obstacle or limitation she could not see, and he held everyone at arm’s length. His affection only came out in jibes and taunts, indirect and easily abandoned mid-stream. She furrowed her brow.

No… The personality of this monster seemed to have little in common with Bado the town troublemaker. Yet somehow… somehow she thought she could still detect something peeking out from behind those silver-blue eyes… something she had seen in him that afternoon in the forest just before his life had been so forcefully altered. It was Bado… there could be no mistaking that, but beyond this simple fact, Frey had no means of knowing more than that at present, he needed her. She was his only ally who could keep him safe and happy, and it was the least she could do to repay her debt. Her eyes turned upward to the dragon once more.

“I’ll be careful, Venti… and I’ll tell you the instant I recognize the old him coming back.” She said soberly.

“See that you do.” She replied seriously. “But for now, do take him out to the field and give him a better scrub-down. He smells worse than a feral cur.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust and Bado flattened his ears and made himself as small as a Wolf the size of a small rhinoceros could.

Frey chuckled and petted his mane of dark black fur.

“Come on, you.” She laughed. “I told you all that fish would make you stink.” The little princess of Selphia led the huge monster out through the North entrance to the fields behind the castle and he followed her placidly, making sure to stay close where her slender hand could reach her pale fingers into the dense layers of soft fur and scratch comfortingly behind his ears.

The dragon stared after them with an odd mixture of weariness, anxiety, and amusement written on her reptilian features.


	11. Her Fragile Resistance

Frey’s arms ached from scrubbing the seemingly endless quantity of dense fur over the hide of her newest charge. The warm glow of the lantern hanging in the barn shone in little points of golden light all over the shimmering wet creature stooping tamely as she poured more water over his head. The last of him was _finally_ shampooed and rinsed.

She gathered up a dry wash towel and rubbed it over his huge head vigorously to soak up the water that dripped from the clumped wet fur.

“There, now” She said in satisfied tones. “You smell _much_ better.” She nodded approvingly with a grin at the great black wolf monster before her.

Bado the wolf sneezed and looked mildly disgruntled at her. His thick black fur was still damp and stuck out in all manner of directions. She giggled.

“Well no more going out for you tonight, anyway. It’s too cold to run around with wet fur.” He tilted his head at her in an inquisitive way, then whined softly.

All day she had spent out in her fields with a large wolf shaped shadow padding behind her. He seemed delighted to be outside, but unwilling to stray far from her side. Beginning to grasp just how little confidence this monster had, Frey had run around the perimeter of the field with the large black beast romping after her to give him some exercise. Being locked up for several days with no place to stretch his legs couldn’t be good for any creature, she thought, and was determined to do everything she possibly could to keep him in good health and good spirits too.

As she attended to her chores later in the afternoon, he became plainly eager to help, and she employed his strength to carry water and crops to and from the fields. Finally, as dusk began to gather, she lit a lantern and brought him into the latest addition to the family of monster barns she had commissioned. Inside it was well furnished for all the needs a monster might feel; barrels of clean water, a clean floor covered in fresh straw, and a soft grass mattress sewn up in clean cotton muslin for him to sleep on.

As promised, she had taken the not insubstantial task of bathing her oversized familiar into her hands and done the job to the very best of her ability, exhausting her strength in the process. Now she stood, drooping with fatigue but buoyant in spirits as she looked over the freshly clean wolf monster in the corner of the barn by the water barrels.

“Whew. I’m beat. Are you hungry?” She reached out a hand, which he leaned towards eagerly, and scratched under his chin. As she finished the scratch he nodded, a little more practiced since that morning. It didn’t look altogether strange anymore, but perhaps she had just adapted to it quickly. “Okay, Let me go get your dinner. You stay here, okay?” She looked determinedly at him. He sat down on his haunches but looked at her with an anxious expression.

“I’m coming right back, I promise. Just sit tight. Please?” She rubbed his ears affectionately and he stretched out his neck and licked her face before she could evade.

“Ah, jeeze.” She spluttered but laughed just the same. “You’re going to be embarrassed if you remember this once you change back.” She warned, shaking a finger at him. He merely panted, openmouthed in his toothy wolf-grin in reply.

“Alright. Be right back, you overgrown puppy.” She chuckled and slipped out of the barn, closing the door behind her. Sighing in a contented fashion, she trotted back to the castle through the field. It was a great relief to have him out of that awful, dingy prison cell below the castle. He was still captive, but she would see to it that he had all the best attention anyone could give a monster in his or her care.

‘And when he changes back, well…’ She thought involuntarily, then shook her head. ‘Don’t think about it. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.’

It was difficult to imagine that Bado would be at peace with all that had happened over the past week. How could he, anyway? But she hoped vainly that the return of his memories and restoration of his normal body would not mean the end of this unlikely friendship…

‘I’ve gotten a little too used to this fluffy, affectionate version of him, already. I hope it isn’t _too_ obvious…’ She thought ruefully, knowing in her heart that Ventuswill at least already knew as much and more. Not that she would put it into words, but she had the distinct sense that there was a little more to it than that. A foreboding feeling that she would find the separation from her bushy-tailed companion more painful than anticipated twinged somewhere in her heart, and she pushed the thought away determinedly.

Stepping over the threshold into the castle, she made straight for the kitchen. Inside, Clorica greeted her with a nod and a smile burdened by some anxious, unspoken concern. Frey would have betted a king’s ransom she knew what the question the lady butler was holding on the tip of her tongue was. But would she venture to ask it?

“Everything ready?” Frey asked, forcing a pleasant, unassuming tone. She wasn’t going to start that conversation if Clorica didn’t intend to. Having no bulletproof defense, the she didn’t particularly want to invite a barrage of questioning as to her handling of the situation and especially her handling of Bado in his current state.

“Yes, milady.” Clorica said sweetly, her tone a little too formal. She handed a large basket into Frey’s hands. It was heavy. Steam and a heavenly aroma wafted up through the checkered cotton cloth draped over the top of its contents.

“Thanks, Clorica. I’d better go give this to him before he starts looking into the wooly barn for supper.” She said with a laugh. Clorica smiled a very unconvincing smile in return and watched her as she turned to leave. Frey pushed the door open with an elbow and began to step through the exit when a small voice called after her.

“Frey…” Clorica said timidly. Frey turned to look at her, apprehension not quite fully disguised in her features. “Just… be careful. Remember, he’ll change back sooner or later, so don’t get used to this arrangement…”

“I know… thank you.” Frey returned in a quiet voice, and stepped back out into the night.

Once across the fields, fretting with every footstep, she neared the door to the barn and pushed it open. Inside, Bado perked up as he laid his silver-blue eyes on her, sitting in exactly the spot he had been when she had left a few minutes ago.

“Right where I left you, huh?” She murmured, unable to entirely resist a smirk tugging at her lips. She closed the door behind her and took a step or two forward. Wolf Bado leaned forward, sniffing the air with glinting, hungry eyes. His bottle-brush tail swished to and fro excitedly behind him.

Frey sat down cross-legged in the middle of the barn, setting the basket down before her and beginning to unpack it.

Inside there was a large bowl of steamed white rice, one of stir-fried veggies, and a last platter of grilled fish. She laid the three dishes out next to one another and then brought out a last, fourth dish, small and stacked with single portions of each of the other dishes. She set her own meal down next to her and looked up.

Bado the wolf was leaning precariously forward, sniffing and salivating with his tall pointed ears turned rigidly toward her as she sat a few strides away in the middle of the floor.

“Well, come here, you silly thing!” She laughed, beckoning to him with a pale slender hand. He crouched low and tiptoed closer until he stood just before her, nose just a few inches from the platter of fish. “You don’t think I’d even be able to eat all this myself, do you?” She raised her eyebrows at him with a smirk as he kept his head stooped and looked timidly up at her. “Eat, you big mongrel!” She laughed, gesturing impatiently at the food. His ears stood erect and he sat up, freeing his paw-hands up to lift the dishes one at a time to his muzzle to eat as politely as a creature of his size and construction could.

Frey ate her own dish absentmindedly, preoccupied with watching closely as her furry companion steadily polished off all the food she had brought for him with clear enjoyment just short of inhaling the food as he had the first time she had offered him breakfast through the bars of the cell under the castle.

Once finished, he licked his paws and belched. She chuckled.

“Excuse you.”

“xc—use…” He echoed awkwardly. She blinked in surprise.

“Trying out a few more words, huh?” She said with a slightly distant expression, her mind returning again to worrying about the hopefully near future when he might become his original self again Meanwhile, Wolf Bado nodded once more without hesitation.

Finishing her meal while the big black wolf in front of her lounged on his side, plainly relishing his full stomach, Frey gathered the dishes back up in the basket and stood up. She stopped mid-motion from dusting her clothing off as she saw Bado sit up anxiously all at once, looking at her with nervous eyes.

“What is it?” She asked quietly, setting the basket back down and looking over at him curiously.

“Hhhffrey…” He made a more successful attempt at pronouncing her name. She reached out to stroke his ears.

“Yes, I’m here. What do you need?” She said softly. One of his paw-hands lifted off the wooden floorboards of the barn and rose up to her slender wrist, wrapping the padded fingers around it gently. She stared in confused fascination into his silvery eyes as his ears flattened backward against his head.

“Lll-l-lea—ving?” He stumbled on the word, but she understood it with wide eyes. Swallowing slowly, she formed a response carefully.

“Yes… but I won’t be far away… and I’ll come back first thing in the morning. You’ll be safe here, so just rest, okay?” She made her voice as soft and sweet as she knew how to. His fretful expression only worsened. The other paw hand reached up and grasped her other wrist, holding both out between them delicately. He shook his head slowly, having not yet mastered this gesture.

“N-no…” He fumbled. “Sss-stay…” His eyes grew larger and wrenchingly hopeful at her. She looked back at him with a plainly bewildered face. He stared straight back. “Pl-l-ease…” Her heart jumped with an uncomfortable pang. She smiled helplessly at the animal looking at her with nothing but begging written all over him.

“What the hell am I supposed to say to that, anyway?” She mumbled quietly. His ears turned up hopefully and his tail swished back and forth.

Frey sighed and sat back down on the floor of the barn. The huge wolf monster curled around her and laid down, sighing contentedly as she stroked his head, paying special attention to the velvety short fur of his wedge shaped ears.

‘There’s no way I’ll be able to explain this away to anyone’s satisfaction.’ Frey fretted in her mind. ‘I might as well just admit I’m too attached to you… but I can’t very well do that, either, can I?’ she felt her expression change to a sad, tired one as she sighed softly again. ‘What am I going to do with you?’

A chill passed through her and she wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Bado raised his head off of his folded paws and nudged her anxiously with his nose.

“Hang on a sec…” She murmured, standing up and walking over to a wooden cabinet in one corner of the barn. Inside were several folded wool blankets, rough spun but warm. She pulled one out and wrapped it around herself before sitting back down and leaning against the warm soft bulk of the monster as he settled down again, content in the knowledge that she was not leaving.

Frey stared long at his wolf’s face and silvery eyes as he dozed off slowly.

“Please don’t hate me… when you come back to yourself.” She whispered. A soft snore emanated from him as his barrel chest rose and fell, lulling her to sleep in her exhaustion with its steady, gentle rhythm.


	12. Breaking His Illusion

“Morning!” Frey called cheerfully to Ventuswill as she came into the dragon hall with a springy gait.

“Good morning, Frey.” The Divine Dragon replied courteously, waiting expectantly for her report.

“As of yesterday evening, Bado has remembered how to say a few more words. He’s in very good spirits this morning and I think he’ll be up for helping me out in the fields again today. I think he’s getting a little smaller and his snout seems shorter this morning. Maybe that’s progress toward changing back?” She offered optimistically.

“You spent the night in the barn?” Ventuswill asked warily, raising one eyebrow over her big, dark eyes.

“What?” Frey blurted out, startled.

“Clorica told me you did not come in last night.” The dragon explained evenly.

“Well…. Yeah. He was pretty anxious so I stayed out there with him last night. I think he’s doing a bit better today.” She tried to change the subject. But Ventuswill’s warning gaze silenced her with a little wince.

“You haven’t forgotten what we talked about yesterday, have you?”

“No. I promise. I haven’t forgotten. I will tell you the instant he changes back and remembers himself.” She insisted.

“Good. I trust your judgment as far as what his needs are while he is a monster, but I hope you have not let yourself become too accustomed to him being this way.” Frey swallowed nervously.

“No, Venti. I understand.” She squeaked.

“Very well. Run along then. I’m sure he takes a lot of your day to look after at present. I imagine he’ll be able to rest easier in the barn at night if he has plenty of exercise during the day.”

“Yes, Venti.” Frey agreed, nodding obediently. She took the excusal for what it was and ducked back out of the dragon hall as quickly as she could without running.

‘That was close.’ She thought with her stomach all in knots. ‘but at least she didn’t tell me I couldn’t keep him in the barn anymore…’

She made her way back to the barn and opened the door.

“Frrey!” A joyful whoop greeted her along with a pair of large paw-like hands wrapping around her waist and lifting her off the ground.

“Waah! Jeeze! Put me down you big baby! I was only gone for a minute!” She shrilled. He paid no attention, nuzzling her affectionately with his muzzle while his tail thumped against the floor. His great size had diminished somewhat and his snout was indeed shorter this morning. Taking a second look, Frey noted that his arms legs and chest more closely resembled the arrangement and proportion of a man’s body than a wolf’s. There was also a generous quantity of shed black fur gathering in the corners of the Barn already.

When at last he had sniffed and licked her to his satisfaction, he set her down gently and grinned wolfishly at her while she wiped her face on her skirt.

“Seriously, if you remember any of this you’ll probably die of embarrassment when you’re a man again.” She grumbled, “I know I’m going to.”

“Good to know you have _some_ humility about it…” A low voice said in dangerous tones behind her. Frey spun around, only to flinch visibly as she recognized Forte wearing a face she’d never seen before, and never wished to see directed at her again.

Cold fury simmered just beneath a façade of disgust and disapproval on the pale face of the beautiful lady knight, turning it ugly with contempt.

“Forte? I—“

“Forget whatever you thought you could say to excuse it.” She snapped. “I know you spent the night out here and in the prison cell with him before that. You may as well give up any notions you had on explaining this away.”

Bado put his ears back and growled low in his throat, glaring silver daggers at Forte, who paid him no mind and continued to cast her own icy gaze onto Frey.

“Hey.” Frey chided quietly, laying a soft palm over the wolf-man’s nose to quiet his protestations.

“You could at _least_ refrain while I’m standing right here in front of you!” Forte snapped in seething tones. Frey’s own temper was starting to boil.

“What is going on with you?” She barked, turning back to return her friend’s glare.

“Don’t think I don’t see what’s happening here.” Forte jabbed a gauntleted finger at the princess.

“What _is_ happening here?” Frey groaned, making an exasperated gesture as she did so.

“It’s lower than anything I would have expected from you, Frey.” She growled.

“For goodness’ _sake_ , Forte! What on earth do you imagine my intentions are?” Frey snapped. Bado was growling at Forte again over her shoulder. Wrath contorted Forte’s face further and with a jolt Frey saw grief mixed in with that expression. She stabbed a pointing finger at Bado and her emotions boiled over.

“HE’S NOT ONE OF YOUR PETS, FREY!” She shouted, shaking all over, tears gathering in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. Her face burned scarlet in embarrassment at having let herself come undone in front of others and she turned and dashed away without another word, leaving Frey standing paralyzed by guilt and shame in the doorway of the barn.

Oh, this pain… like frost and fire at once, burning her heart in its wicked grip. Everything she feared someone would see in her interactions with this peculiar monster had come to be, and by the person she had wronged second only in severity to the blacksmith himself. Frey wished all over again that she’d never gone and invited him out into the woods. She looked down, round-shouldered and miserable.

A soft whine sounded from within the throat of the monster behind her. He nudged her back gently with his muzzle and when this failed to produce a reaction, he laid a big paw-hand on her right shoulder.

Frey spun around, tears burning in her own eyes now, and an icy lump in her stomach.

“No! Don’t you get it? You _aren’t_ a monster! You’re a man! Your name’s Bado and you’re a great blacksmith and a terrible shop owner!” She railed, letting the door swing shut behind her as she advanced on him. He backed up, ears flat and tail tucked between his legs. “Go back to being yourself, already! Go back to being a dwarf! I can’t—“ She broke off, trembling as she stared at him.

‘Go back to being a man… I can’t be attached you this way if you go back.’ Her mind finished the thought for her and she cringed all the worse for the private admission. He had sat up on his haunches again and looked back at her with hurt in his wide eyes, then something in him changed suddenly.

Bado’s pupils narrowed and his ribcage expanded with a huge shuddering breath. Terror seemed to take hold of him and he went rigid, trembling and drooling as his breathing escalated to hyperventilation. Frey’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in horror.

“AaaaaAAARGH!” he clutched at his face with his padded hands. Thrashing this way and that.

“Bado?!” Frey squeaked in gut-wrenching fear.

He uncovered his face and looked at her wide-eyed and terrified.

“F-frey! Wha—“

“Easy! Easy, Bado! Stay Calm!” She held her hands out in front of her in a steadying manner, but she knew her own face only mirrored his uncertainty. He looked down at his hands, panting. The great black paw-hands clapped down against his chest and his fingers curled in the fur there. He grabbed at his face again and felt along his snout with his claw-tipped fingers.

“What—“ He gasped, looking desperately into her eyes. “What _h-happened_ to me?!”

Shaking violently, he could only stare at her like a rabbit in the jaws of a wolf, rather than the huge wolf creature he actually was at present. A need more powerful and urgent than any of her shame and indignation seized Frey. He looked as though he would shatter any moment. Her heart overrode her brain and she felt her arms reach out without her consent.

“No, no, no…” She breathed, setting her hands gently beneath his jaw on either side of his face and pressing her forehead to his. He remained rigid but did not try to move away or lift his hands to stop her. “Please… don’t be scared. Everything will be okay.” She said softly.

“Frey… You…” He panted.

‘I know.’ She thought, swallowing. ‘I’ll pay for it later. But this is more important just now…’ She hugged his head to her chest and stroked him. Perhaps out of habit formed over the last few days, he leaned into her touch and offered no resistance. Gradually his breathing became steadier. A padded hand came up and grasped her arm gently… hesitantly.

“Frey…” He breathed. She let go of him and leaned back to look into his eyes. A fretful, worried, and altogether more human expression had taken hold of his still half-wolf features. “You… you’ve been… and I—” He broke off, gulping.

She swallowed and cringed at him. “I’m sorry…” She said in a hurry, shaking her head slightly.

“N-no…” He shook his head and looked plaintively at her but said nothing more. His eyes became distant, seeming to look right through her as his mind followed some train of thought down a rabbit hole of extrapolation to what was plainly some uneasy conclusion, by the way his expression cringed further and further into fear and shame.

“Bado…” She said softly, reaching out a hand toward his head. The urge to comfort him was too powerful, despite knowing she mustn’t, despite Forte’s furious reaction, despite her own humiliation and self-loathing. She caressed his furred face and his breathing seemed to grow calmer. He looked into her green eyes with dazed, silver-blue ones and then he seized her hand and slowly, as if it constituted the greatest effort and force of will he was capable of, he pushed it away, trembling.

“Y-you can’t…” He mumbled. “You s-shouldn’t” Her heart ached. That look of one just two breaths shy of falling to pieces came over him again and she surrendered, knowing full well she would suffer for this choice soon enough. Silently, she spread her arms and looked at him with tearful compassion and sympathy in her green eyes.

He seemed to freeze, grappling with himself in his mind. Several seconds passed. She didn’t budge… didn’t move… only stayed, arms open and inviting and brow curved with worry. He swallowed.

Something shifted in his expression. Vulnerability poured out of him in an aura that finally suited his circumstances: A man whose world, who’s mind and body had changed drastically and unexpectedly overnight, who had no friend or family intimate enough to depend on in such upheaval, and who had worn the brittle armor of deflecting humor to hide himself from everyone ever since she had known him.

He broke, melting into her embrace, huddled and small somehow despite his undeniably huge half-monster body. Silently shuddering in the sheer overwhelming magnitude of realization, he offered no more resistance as she squeezed his head against her chest and murmured the words that her heart brimmed with in this moment.

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you… and I mean it. I’m here, Bado…” She swallowed. Saying his name on the end of such a declaration brought home the impossibility of it all. Even with no idea how, she knew she would make good on the promise. She had to.

His big paw hands pressed against her back and he pulled her more tightly against him, saying nothing but trembling still. She continued to stroke him gently. It was surprisingly easy to continue just as she had these past days, touching his furred ears gently with the same tender caress she’d use with any of her monsters.

But Forte was right… he _wasn’t_ one of her monster pets… so what did _this_ mean? She tried to shake off the notion taking shape in her mind. A few more minutes passed slowly as she traced his ears with her fingertips to soothe him.

Abruptly he stiffened and drew back, pushing her away firmly and sitting hunched miserably on the straw-covered floor of the barn. He took a deep breath as she looked at him with a concerned and bewildered expression.

“I’m sorry for being such a burden…” he said stiffly. “Thank you... for looking out for me up until now.” His tone was suddenly guarded. Her heart ached. She wrapped her hands about her own arms and tried feebly to disguise her sorrow.

“You’re welcome…” She said quietly. The two regarded each other with equally pained expressions. Frey’s eyes burned as she looked at him, crouched so plainly miserable and clearly as undone as a moment ago, but without the open, wanting vulnerable aura. He had shut her out.

A long silence stretched between them. Frey looked down at the floor and back up into his weary eyes.

“Do… you want me to go?” She murmured in a small voice. He nodded, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt. Her heart sank a little further. She nodded in return and looked down, throat clenched, then turned to leave.

As she closed the door behind her and turned the large iron key to lock it, a noise escaped through the seams of the wooden door. A long, muffled keen, wracked with pain and sorrow reached out and wrung her bitterly. Frey clapped a hand over her mouth and leaned against the door, tears spilling out over her face.


	13. Her Unlikely Confidant

Frey slumped against the door, her face tucked into her knees. Inside the barn Bado the wolf had grown quiet, but she could practically taste the forlorn and desperate aura that emanated from within.

‘What an idiot…’ She thought bitterly. ‘Why would you go through this alone… I’m right _here!_ ’ Tightening her arms around her knees, she tried vainly to suppress the aching in her chest. She never expected… never imagined that someone in so much pain would actually refuse the affection and support of someone who willingly gave it. For what reason? Who did he think he was helping by pushing her away?

“Frey?” A small, delicate voice startled her out of her bleak train of thought. Her head snapped up at attention and saw a face she hardly could have anticipated. Kiel was smiling reassuringly at her, his hand outstretched in offer to help her to her feet. She rubbed at her eyes and mumbled an embarrassed ‘sorry’ before giving him her full attention.  His smile widened slightly and his face looked affectionate.

This young man, whom she knew to be maddeningly naïve… what did he want from her? Had he come to visit Bado? She didn’t know how she was going to explain to him what had transpired just a few minutes ago.

“I don’t think now’s a good time to visit, Kiel… He only just remembered himself and he’s pretty upset.” She explained, reluctantly taking the outstretched hand. Kiel shook his head.

“I’m glad to hear he knows who he is again, but that’s not why I’m here.” He said, gently pulling her up onto her feet. Frey sniffed, looking confused at him.

“Then why…” She said, trailing off. Kiel was smiling his most blatantly disarming smile. What could he mean by it? It was not a look of consolation… not quite.

“I just ran into Forte and she told me what happened.”

“Oh…” Frey said, downcast. So he was here to find fault with her handling of Bado in his Wolf stage, too…

“I came to make sure you’re doing alright.” He continued, not stumbling over her dispirited response.

“What?” She blurted out in her surprise.

“It sounds like Forte said some unpleasant things to you. I hope you know she doesn’t hate you or anything… she just feels responsible for what happened to you and Bado after she asked you to take him out to gather materials.” He kept up his disarming smile.

“Well… I can relate to feeling guilty about it…” Frey mumbled, looking down.

“My sister doesn’t handle guilt very well. I’m sorry if she hurt your feelings when she blew up at you. She really doesn’t mean any of it, you know.” He said with a patient air, brushing a lock of hair out of his eyes.

“Thanks, Kiel… but I deserved it, after all…” She said disconsolately.

“What makes you say that?” he returned brightly.

“You… know what she said, right?”

“Mmhm!” He hummed. She bent an eyebrow at him. It was very hard to understand how or why he would have such a cheerful disposition about so ugly an altercation.

“Well… she’s right… I _have_ been treating him like… like a pet…” She swallowed and looked shamefaced at him.

“It sounds to me like you’ve been taking very good care of our lazy dwarf.” He said kindly. Frey frowned at him wordlessly. He really didn’t get it, did he? She sighed, looking down at her feet.

“Frey…” Kiel said quietly. He waited patiently for her to look up at him, which she did only reluctantly. “Bado isn’t the kind of person who likes relying on others.” He spoke slowly and deliberately. “And Forte is the same… only, she wants everyone to rely on her, you see.” Frey looked at him in confusion, shaking her head ever so slightly in an uncomprehending fashion. “I think that’s partly why they fight so much…” He said with a slightly whimsical chime to his voice.

“Kiel… what are you talking about?” She murmured, feeling resentful of his dismissing her misery with his optimistic air.

“I’m saying, don’t listen to him if he’s talking nonsense.” The boy said patiently. “He has no idea what it is he actually needs.” She blinked at him, beginning to pick up his implication. “If _you_ know what he really needs, then you should give it to him if you feel you want to. He’ll probably be a grump about it still, but you’re clever and tenacious. I’ll bet you can outlast his stubborn streak.” He finished by nodding approvingly at her.

“B-but… I don’t—It can’t be okay to... to—“

“I don’t see what’s so wrong with giving him the kind of affection you give your monsters, actually.” Kiel said thoughtfully.

“But… he’s not a monster…”

“No, you’re right. He’s a man.” Kiel nodded, holding her eyes with his. “What kind of man do you think he is, Frey?”

“What… kind?” She repeated.

“Yes.” He replied and waited patiently for her response. What did he want her to say? Bado was so many odd things… reliable and mischievous, lazy and self-sacrificing, stubborn and gentle. It was a profound wonder so many seemingly contradictory attributes could exist in one person. Unable to settle on one thing to say, she shook her head silently. Kiel only smiled and waited quietly some more.

Frey thought back on the few interactions she’d had with the blacksmith over the past year.

“Seeing a lovey-dovey couple sure can make a body jealous…”

“Have you heard that awful, sappy love song everyone’s been listening to? Man, I sure do miss being young.”

“Thanks for the Valentine’s day cookie, Frey, but I’ll bet there’s someone you _really_ want to give this to, right?”

“You can’t be so disappointed to be refused by an old goat like me…”

Her eyes widened as she began to piece together a pattern. She stared at Kiel.

“That’s it… You’re starting to put it all together aren’t you?” He said quietly. “I’ve known Bado all my life. He’d deny it anytime I brought it up but I think you’re sharp enough to see what it is he’s always hiding behind bad jokes and short-sighted schemes.” Frey swallowed, nodding slowly.

“…He’s lonely.” She said in a very small voice.

“Bingo.” Kiel said, smiling still, but a touch of sadness lined his youthful face now. “If you ask me, he could use a friend who’d give him the uncomplicated affection you dish out to your pets.”

“I… I dunno, Kiel. Forte—“

“—Doesn’t know any better than he does how to be there for him.” Kiel interrupted. Frey tilted her head at him.

“So, if you understand him so well… why don’t _you_ give him what you’re suggesting?”

Kiel shook his head, tousling his blond mop of hair. “He’s not about to take advice from me. I’m more or less a foster son to him and with Forte running about trying to tell him what to do all the time, he’s pretty deaf to both of us by now.”

Frey sighed.

“You’ve gotten his attention though. _You’re_ the one who’s done the most for him through this ordeal.”

“But I’m also the whole reason he’s in this mess.”

“Forte told me she saw him hug you as soon as he saw you return, earlier.”

“That was before he remembered who he is.” Frey countered.

“You’ve been saying how he isn’t just a monster… that he is still himself, just a different version, right?” He pointed a finger at her. “Do you really think whatever he’s saying now is more meaningful or somehow negates all the eager affection he shared with you over the last few days? He may have changed shape, but his heart was and is just as hungry for companionship as ever, I’ll wager.”

Frey looked fretfully at the boy, but a hopeful little jolt in her heart betrayed her to herself. She wanted to believe it… that Bado needed her and wanted her company to help him through this strange affliction.

“What about—“ Kiel raised a hand, stopping her mid-sentence.

“I’ll talk to Forte. She must realize this too on some level. After all, we couldn’t get near him as a wolf. He’s only let you close, hasn’t he?” Frey had to admit this was the case. She nodded slowly. “Good. That’s all the more reason you mustn’t walk away now, even if he tells you to.”

“Kiel… are you sure this is… I mean, he seemed just as mortified by it as Forte was…” She looked anxiously at the boy, who raised his eyebrows skeptically.

“Did he _really_ , though? I suspect there is a reason you stayed with him in the barn last night?”

With a pang Frey recalled how he had begged her not to go the night before and how he had dissolved into her embrace just half an hour ago or so, now, just before mustering the will to push her away. She looked at Kiel with new eyes. He wasn’t Naïve after all… at least not about this. In this circumstance, he knew better than anyone involved what she ought to do. Slowly, she allowed herself to creep back out of the hole she had buried herself and her heart in upon being rebuffed by the miserable wolf-man sitting alone in her monster barn. Seeing her expression lighten, Kiel smiled again.

“That’s it! You know this is the right thing to do, don’t you?” He chirped.

“I… I’ll try, Kiel.” She murmured uncertainly, but in her heart she was already swimming in relief. Abandoning her half-wolf companion to go through the trials of his unusual circumstances alone had felt like a dagger in her heart, but now… now she had a little hope to cling to. “Thank you.” She said to the boy, who resumed his disarming, over-cheerful grin and nodded his approval before excusing himself to go home and research more texts that might hold clues about Lycanthropy in Norad.

Frey stood alone in front of the door to the monster barn once again. She looked over her shoulder at the heavy oak door, then an idea popped into her head. She trotted off across the field in a hurry toward the castle, hopping up the steps toward the back entrance to the kitchens.


	14. His Faltering Reluctance

“There…” Frey sighed, passing a hand over her brow. The family-sized portion of fried eggs on rice heaped in the bowl before her steamed and glistened, hot and fresh from the frying pan. She gathered the bowl up in a towel to protect her arms from being burned and walked back through the hallway to the dragon hall on her way back to the barn.

“Venti.” She called quietly. The huge dragon looked over at her curiously.

“Yes?”

“He’s remembered himself.” She said simply. Ventuswill blinked.

“Oh? That was a little faster than expected.” The dragon suddenly narrowed her eyes and stooped her great head to look closely at Frey’s face. “Have you been crying, Frey?”

This time, she was prepared for Ventuswill to guess at her feelings. She said nothing, only swallowed and stared back at the huge dark eyes of the dragon. Venti, for her part, looked a little sadly at her but hesitated to reply. Finally, Frey spoke.

“He’s pretty upset… I’m going to bring this to him and tell him he is welcome to stay as long as he likes… Do you mean to keep him confined until he’s back to normal?”

“Hmmm.” Venti rumbled thoughtfully. “Yes. But if he wishes to stay with you for the time being I see no reason not to allow it.” Frey looked surprised and wary at her.

“But you said… that I had to let him go as soon as he remembered himself…”

“I said you could not assume responsibility for him as with a pet monster. If he chooses to remain with you, rather than being confined elsewhere, then that is his choice. Offering the choice is in essence how I am advising you to help him now that he has the mind of a man again.” Frey swallowed again. An uncomfortably wishful feeling welled up in her chest.

‘Don’t…’ She thought at herself.

“Well? Aren’t you going to go give that to him?” Ventuswill said, breaking a silence that had stretched without Frey’s awareness.

“O-oh… yeah.” She adjusted the weight of the bowl in her arms.

“Be sure to inform me what he chooses to do.” Venti added mildly as she stepped over the threshold out the back door.

A tight, slightly sick feeling clutched at Frey’s stomach as she crossed the field, every step making her throat tighter and her heartbeat faster. The thought occurred to her with a painful prick to her heart that he might choose to go back to that dark, cold cell beneath the castle rather than agree to submit to her care.

She couldn’t blame him… not _really_. What would the townspeople begin to think of him, to say about him if he showed her the kind of affection his wolf-self had? He was not a boy. The clean faced young men about town, even the oldest of the boys, Leon, had not the plainly mature visage the blacksmith had. The short, dark beard that framed his face and the smile lines that creased around his mouth and eyes put him in his thirties at the least, Frey thought. But then again, he was always calling himself ‘old man’ and things like that… maybe he was older than he looked? Regardless, for a man in his age to spend the night in a barn with a girl just past her teens— She shook her head furiously, blushing. “Stop that!” she scolded herself. “It’s not as if I’m going to spend the night with him _now_ …”

All the same, she bit her lip indignantly at the thought of him submitting himself to solitary misery out of some stupid sense of propriety. It wasn’t just for his own sake, either… it was far too uncomfortable and frustrating to want to help as badly as she did and to be turned away for it. She was returning to him as much for herself and her own sanity as for his. Guilt had become a growth of vines around her heart, curling slowly around every corner of her thoughts. It would not allow her to wash her hands of him, even if it meant disregarding his plainly spoken wishes.

She blinked suddenly as she realized she had already reached the door to the barn again. She gulped, her trembling fingertips upon the iron key hovering just in front of the keyhole.

‘Jeeze, stop being so ridiculous.’ She scolded herself. She turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door.

It was only for a heartbeat. Just one little moment but she definitely saw it… Bright silver-blue eyes snapped onto her and a big, black bottle-brush tail whipped excitedly back and forth twice, then all at once the familiar shape of the half-wolf, half-man stooped in miserable humiliation and he looked away from her, wincing. Frey’s lips parted in surprise. She stared at him, blinking silently.

“Frey… I thought I made it clea—“ He stopped his protest short as his canine nose practically pulled him up onto his feet, pointing at the warm food in her arms. He stared at it, his eyes flicking up to hers after a moment with evident hunger in them. He shook his head and groaned slightly.

“I brought you some lunch…” she said quietly, uncovering the bowl and stepping forward. He leaned away from her but did not retreat, reluctantly accepting the bowl with both paw-hands as she pressed it on him. She stepped back and looked at him, aware of but unmotivated to disguise the sorrowful cast to her expression.

 “Frey…” He said, his tone pained. He drew a breath and looked for a moment like he would put some feeling to words, but then his expression fell again and he sighed, mumbling ‘thanks’ almost inaudibly.

“You’re welcome…” She returned, just as quietly. Bado looked around, staring at various things around the barn and very deliberately avoiding her gaze. Finally he spoke again:

“I… are you… going to leave?” He said, painfully aware of the awkwardness of the conversation. She blinked slowly at him, feeling peaceful despite her sad countenance at present. She had already made her choice in the instant she had turned the handle of the door and entered.

“No… There are… some things that I need to talk to you about. You’re welcome to eat first, though, if you like. I know you’re hungry.” She added at the end, remembering his consistently voracious appetite over the past few days.

“I’ll wait.” He said stiffly, setting the bowl down on the floor in front of him. She drew a long breath and then exhaled, steeling herself.

“Venti says you have to stay confined for the time being.” He swallowed. “She says you still can spread the curse to others.”

“Curse…” He echoed, seemingly without realizing it.

“Yes… she called it ‘lycanthropy’. Kiel said those affected are called ‘werewolves’. He read it in a book.” Her throat grew tight again.

“So, that is what I am, now? A ‘werewolf’?” His voice shook. Her heart ached. She wanted to dash across the barn and throw her arms around him. She wanted to hug him and stroke his ears and speak soft affectionate words to him like she had all this last week… it was too cruel that she could not comfort him now that he needed it most. She swallowed again and spoke, her own voice wavering too.

“You’re changing back.”

“I am?”

“Yes. Five days ago you had silver eyes and no thumbs. You were larger and you couldn’t speak.”

“Right…” He said faintly, looking dazed at her feet.

“Do you remember the last few days?” She ventured. He nodded slowly, glancing up at her eyes and away again. Her eyebrows curved sympathetically without her consent. “You don’t have to go back to the dungeon.” She blurted out suddenly.

‘Shit.’ She thought. This was not the way she had planned to broach the subject. ‘Well, too late now…’ He looked up at her, bewildered.

“But… you said—“

“I mean…” She interrupted, “You can stay here, instead… if you want.” His eyes widened and he blinked in surprise again. “It would be more comfortable… and more private than the cell, where you might have different people looking in on you…”

“I don’t want you involved anymore.” He said suddenly. The bluntness of the statement struck her silent for a beat. She made a small, startled noise and the painful tightening of her chest almost wrung tears from her eyes. She shut her mouth tight, blinked them back and took two breathes through her nose.

“Well that’s just too damn bad.” She said aloud, thinking ‘you jerk’ on the end of the declaration in her mind. He sat up in a startled fashion and stared at her.

“What?” He said blankly.

“You heard me.” She replied, her posture rigid. “It doesn’t matter where you decide to be confined. I’m not going to leave you. I got you into this mess, and I’m sticking by you now, so get used to it.” Her tone grew a little more biting than she meant it to be. She was more stung by his dismissal than she thought, apparently.

“Frey, You… You can’t hang around with a man my age, alone… like this…” He said, squirming slightly.

“Those kinds of concerns are for normal circumstances.” She said with a dismissive gesture. “You’re a werewolf, Bado. There’s nothing normal about this, so you can’t be worried about that kind of garbage. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well accept my help. Don’t be more difficult as a man than you were as a beast.” She finished with a raised eyebrow accompanying an unsmiling expression.

“No one’s going to trust an old badger like me being so chummy with a girl your—“

“I’m twenty, by the way.” She interrupted, “Since you asked… back in the woods.” He stared at her. “How old are _you_ , anyway?”

“Thirty six…” He muttered. She looked incredulous at him.

“Thirty six? Why the hell are you always calling yourself ‘old’ if you’re _thirty six_! Jeeze… She rolled her eyes. A strange, slightly strangled laugh erupted from his throat, startling himself as much as her.

“You were determined to see me as a young man no matter what I said, before… and you were determined to see me as a man when I was a beast… and now that I’m half one and half the other… what am I to you?” There was a challenge in his gaze… and fear.

“You’re my friend.” She said simply, startling him yet again, judging by the widening of his silvery eyes.

“Your… friend?” he repeated uncertainly.

“Yes. I told you five days ago I relate better with monsters than people at times. And you just said you remember the past few days, didn’t you? We’ve become quite close since the last time you walked on two legs, after all.” She said, pushing nervousness out of her voice. She wanted to sound as certain as she felt. This jittery feeling in her stomach… why was it always there when he looked at her? …even before he had become a huge monster.

“You said you don’t relate as well to people as to monsters, and you also said I’m turning back into a man. I can’t help but think you’ll find me a less favorable friend when I do walk on two legs again…” He said flatly.

“I suppose it’s possible.” She said, unperturbed. “But in the meantime this is my choice. You already showed me your heart when you were a wolf. I know you now. You’ll find it harder to lie to me than it was before.”

“I don’t lie.” He said, low and irritated.

“You do.” She returned. “You do it all the time when you crack a joke or make fun of me instead of just saying what’s in your mind or your heart.” Her tone was reasonable and calm. “Just because you haven’t said anything explicitly false doesn’t mean you aren’t lying with your actions… with your choices.”

“And you can tell now, can you?” He said, somewhat cuttingly, “So then, what am I lying to you about? What’s the real truth?” She sighed and stood up, dusting off her skirt. He watched her intently with his brow furrowed, a slight frown pulling down the corners of his wolfish face. She moved toward him, her face impassive. He backed away, continuing to retreat as she stepped slowly forward until his back was to the wall of the barn. She stopped, close enough to count the short whiskers at the end of his muzzle. She looked deep and unblinking into his eyes and felt hers soften.

“I know you’re afraid, Bado.” Her voice was a soft little murmur as she spoke. “I know you feel alone… and I know what you need, right now…” She spread her arms in front of her, inviting him into her embrace. “…what you weren’t afraid to ask for before you remembered how to speak.” He drew a long breath in through the nose and leaned back, trembling.

“Frey… Don’t.” he mouthed, not quite articulating all the sounds in those two words.

“I can’t force you and I wouldn’t want to either. This is my choice… It’s okay.” She said softly. He stared at her with confusion and turmoil in his eyes.

“You can’t offer… this isn’t…” he choked.

“I can, and I am…” She returned more calmly than she felt inside. Her heart was fluttering like a hummingbird, fit to burst from her chest. “Let me give you this… I want to be here for you. Please… You’ve suffered so much because of me… just let me undo some of that… please, Bado.” He cringed, holding his breath on the other side of a completely clenched throat, then with a small, strangled noise he curled into a stooped, miserable posture and trembled visibly as he very slowly stretched his neck out and pushed his still-furry head with tall pointed wolf’s ears into her outstretched hands. She leaned in and rested her forehead against his, stroking him gently at the jawline and over his sable-soft ears. A muffled whine in his wolf’s voice escaped through the flesh of his throat though he kept his jaws tightly shut.

Maybe the days he’d spent as a wolf with a wolf’s mind had made it easier for him to accept her touch… she couldn’t be sure. What she _did_ know now though was that his silent, painful desperation had an answer… an answer she could give him. Slowly, breath by breath, his shaking slowed and he leaned further into her gentle caresses, breathing deep and calmly at last. Who knew how many minutes passed like that, or how many times she had smoothed her slender fingertips over his head while he closed his eyes and just breathed. Eventually, though, he pulled back ever so gently and looked at her silently, his eyes open and vulnerable right to their very depths.

“Will you stay here?” She whispered. He nodded slowly, saying nothing. Relief poured into her heart. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, burying her face in the fur of his neck. A paw hand touched her back uncertainly, then pulled her closer, hugging her in return without a word or sound. His oversized heart thudded within the black-furred chest, echoing in her own body with every beat.


	15. Feeling Exposed

“Frey…” The low, sonorous voice of Bado, still made larger and more impressive by the throat of the wolf monster, called softly to her from the entrance to the barn. She looked up from her harvesting and set down the bunches of carrots she had been carrying by the stems in her left hand. All day she had stayed close by, focusing on her field chores and checking in on him every hour or two. After the turmoil the day before and the tenuous acceptance he had shown of her repeated offer of support and care, she didn’t want to leave anything to chance. She would prove her resolve to make good on her promises and intentions. She stared in the direction of the barn but there was no sign of him outside the building.

He had not ventured out from the barn for more than a few minutes at a time all day and mostly was silent, until now. She dusted off her gloves and removed them as she approached the barn. The door was propped open and from the dimly lit interior she saw the silver-blue eyes glimmering like pools of moonlight.

“Yes? I’m here.” She replied in gentle tones.

“I think I need your help with something.” He said timidly. She stepped into the barn peering at him curiously. Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the change in light, she inhaled suddenly as she saw him clearly. He was crouched with that same uncertain, stooping posture but his thick forelimbs were carefully planted between his feet. He looked awkward and uncomfortable. Why would he hold himself in such a position? Frey bent her brow at him, puzzled.

“What’s the matter?”

“I think…” He said slowly, croaking slightly, “I might be… shedding.” She blinked in surprise and followed his gaze as he turned his head to point his wolfish snout at the edges of the room. Big clumps of black fur were gathering like overlarge dust bunnies at the edges of the floor by the walls.

“Oh, yes… I noticed that starting earlier. I suppose it’s part of the process of changing back to a man. You aren’t _quite_ so hairy as a dwarf, after all.” She said with a smirk. A little exhalation from his closed muzzle might have been a ghost of a lagh, but he did not take up her joke, for once.

“Right, but…” He squirmed and fidgeted, flicking his ears and twitching his tail in a most agitated manner. “Frey, I—“ He swallowed hard and tried again. “I don’t suppose you could bring me some pants or something?”

“Oh!” She cried with an embarrassed squeak, suddenly understanding his strange posture. She nodded hurriedly and turned to go, feeling a pink blush creep into her cheeks. At the last moment, she turned back over her shoulder and called to him in a quavering voice.

“Stay put, okay? I’ll be right back.” She trotted across the field back to the castle and ducked into the back entrance to the west wing. Once inside, she looked about her in a hurry, scanning the rooms as she skittered through the halls for a dark green coat. Finally, just outside the armory, she spotted him.

“Vishnal!” She called out. He turned around immediately and jumped just a little, his eyes widening as they fell on her.

“Princess!”

“I need your help. Do we have any spare clothing?”

“Clothing?” He repeated in utter confusion. “What kind? I’m sure Clorica would be better suited to helping you procure new clothes, miss Frey.” He was beginning to blush and fidget, just like he always did when talking with her. She shook her head.

“Not for me! For Bado! He is changing back into a man and he’s going to need something to wear very soon.”

“Oh… OH!” Vishnal blushed more deeply scarlet and began to stutter. “Princess, I really think you ought to get someone else to look after Bado, especially if he’s changing back. There’s no reason for yo—“

“Never mind that!” she said impatiently, “Will you help me or not?” He blinked at her in a mortified fashion.

“O-of course!” He stammered. Good. It had worked then. She knew Vishnal was extremely anxious to please her. Most days she tried to ignore his nearly desperate aura and pretend it was merely owed to his eagerness to become a great butler, but if she were honest with herself as she was in this moment, having no time to bluff otherwise, she knew his real motivation. And… she knew she was taking advantage of it, now.

“Thanks.” She gave a strained smiled, inwardly pushing down a slightly uneasy sense of guilt.

“I’ll bet there’ll be something we can use in the armory… something the soldier would have worn under armor when stationed in the garrison.” Frey nodded, buoyed by his eagerness to help.

They hurried into the neighboring room and began rummaging in the chests and cupboards between racks of old rusted weaponry and pieces of armor and field gear. Selphia’s residents all knew how to fight one way or another. There were altogether too many monsters outside the city walls for anyone to be unarmed and untrained. But, it had been generations since there had been any need to fortify the garrison, so all the supplies for the castle guard had gone unused and unlooked for. Even so, it was part of the duties of the butlers of the castle to keep the armory stocked in case of emergencies, so the equipment and supplies therein were only a few years old at any given time.

“Here!” Vishnal said triumphantly, holding up a plain under-armor uniform of a pair of simple dark grey breeches and a pale, off-white shirt. Frey looked at the pants and thought of Bado’s currently still half-wolf legs. She made a fretful face to which the young butler looked disappointed.

“It _might_ work… if we were to cut the legs off above the knee… he’s got the crooked legs of a wolf right now, Vishnal. There’s no way he’ll fit in these unless we do. That, or we could use one of the tunics instead…”

“Maybe we should just bring both?” He offered helpfully.

“That’s a good idea, but I’ll take them back to him alone.” She said firmly, then followed with a softer: “Thank you.”

“Miss Frey, I _really_ think you ought to have someone else there with you at least. It isn’t _right_ for a young lady like yourself to spend so much time with a man his age… alone.”

“Yes, I understand your concern, Vishnal, but there’s nothing to worry about, really. He is perfectly gentle and respectful. I don’t need anyone else’s help to give him the assistance he needs presently.” The young butler sighed audibly.

“I wish you would listen to me…” He said in a small voice. She looked him straight in the eyes and spoke in a steady voice.

“I _am_ listening… But as it happens, I disagree.” She finished with a courteous nod, gathered the breeches, tunic, and a few other pieces of clothing in her arms and walked out again, saying “Thanks again for your help.” as she passed by him on her way through the door. Vishnal nodded silently but did not venture a reply beyond that.

She sighed unhappily as her feet crunched over the soil and pebbles of the fields behind the castle. Didn’t _anyone_ trust her judgment? Didn’t anyone trust _him_ worth two pennies? A fretful frown bent her mouth at the thought. She’d always seen him as a harmless sort of oaf, if anything. No one took him seriously and he didn’t appear to want to be taken seriously either. Was it merely because of her age and gender that they all worried about her sharing close quarters with him? They all seemed more concerned about the prospect the closer he came to resuming his original form. Was he as a man more threatening to her than as a huge beast with fangs and claws to tear her apart with? Come to think of it… he was as leery of the notion of being in her company, as a man, as they were.

“Why though…” She murmured aloud, once again pausing in front of the door to the barn. He had come with her to the woods that fateful day the previous week, after all. She had even felt a spark of understanding, then… of mutually appraising one another and finding a kernel of something worth looking closer at...

That playful, distant mask had been torn away, now, though. He was exposed. Having unintentionally shared his loneliness with her and grown attached to her as a wolf, he had nothing to hide behind now. Nowhere to hide, and still he had tried to keep her at arm’s length. She would have none of it though. Clinging to Kiel’s words like a protective charm, Frey redoubled her resolve and entered the barn.

Again, the silver-blue eyes looked up hopefully and the bushy tail wagged to and fro when he saw her. Her heart jumped. This was the second time since his mind had been restored that he had accidentally shown excitement upon her return in the manner of his fully wolf self. He ducked his head abashedly for a brief moment, then perked up with interest at the bundle in her arms. She looked him up and down.

“You certainly look as fluffy as ever…” She smirked slightly. “Are you sure you really need these yet? It might be uncomfortable wearing pats over all that fur. You’re going to roast.” To her immediate relief and curious interest, he huffed a little bark of a laugh and his posture loosened. He stopped trying to block his still thickly furred underbelly from her view. It _was_ ridiculous to do so, after all, she thought. There was nothing but the dense fur as dark as midnight there to see just now, anyhow.

“It won’t be all that different from the usual, then.” He shrugged with a wolf-grin pulling on his mouth. “Why do you think I never come out for beach day?” She brought a slender hand up over her mouth to cover the laugh that bubbled up in her throat. Her heart swelled happily. If his awful sense of humor had returned, then perhaps his spirits were rising, too.

“Well, now I feel like that’s a sight I’ll need to see for myself someday just to call my experience complete! What kind of swimsuit would you wear, anyway?”

“You’ve already seen more of me than most.” He said, the smile sliding off his face, replaced by a sober expression. “I suppose that means I ought to trust you.” She winced. The abrupt return to this brooding, anxious version of himself was sudden and shocking to her. These peaks and valleys of emotions… How much of it could she take before she, herself, came undone?

“You _can_ trust me.” She said seriously.

“Oh?” He said, silvery blue eyes locking onto her green ones suddenly. Despite the return of a variety of rather human-like mannerisms and expressions, the wilderness still flashed in his pale irises set in those black-lined wolf’s eyes. The eyes themselves were fathomless… enigmatic… and obscure. “And what will you say next time Forte asks you to _fix_ me?”

Frey blanched, frozen like an insect in a spider web. She stared back into his hard gaze and swallowed.

“I _am_ sorry about that.” She said slowly. “I had no right to… to try and change you like that.” He shrugged as if this were of no more consequence than a bird flying by overhead.

“And what if you two were _right_ about me? Hm? What then?” She winced backward again. What was he playing at? Was he angry or not? Frustration ground at the back of her mind. He must be testing her… she thought sourly, annoyed all over again at his sudden grab for the upper hand over her.

“If _you_ feel that Forte’s assessment of your behavior was right, then _you_ can change. I’m not going to try and make you into anything else ever again.” He blinked at her, still apparently coldly distant and thoughtful.

“You aren’t going to try and help me change back into a man?” He challenged.

“Wha—“ She gasped softly, then felt her eyes harden.

‘Damn you!’ She thought furiously. ‘Why are you _so_ determined to make me into your _enemy_?’ A defiant flash shot up her spine, stiffening her back as she glared at him.

“Maybe I won’t.” She said firmly, “Not unless you ask me to.” His expression became puzzled, but still quite guarded.

“Why?” He said softly. His tone was suspicious. This was clearly not the answer he had anticipated, and it vexed him.

“Because: I already like you just fine as a wolf. If anything, you were better as a beast. At least then you weren’t always playing head games with me.” She frowned unabashedly at him. “I don’t expect you to be one thing or another to suit my wishes. You saved my life and you’ve paid for it. If I can, I want to offset some of that price. I’ll give you whatever I can, Bado. Don’t make me say it too many more times. I’ll begin to think you’re deaf.” She finished, staring coolly at him.

“Give me whatever you can?” He echoed in a murmur just barely audible, directed at himself. His eyes grew distant again for a moment then snapped back onto hers and turned hard again. “What do you want from me, Frey?” He said, slow and measured. She blinked back at him, confused. 

“I want you to let me in… I want you to trust me and lean on me the way you did as a monster. You remember it, right? Is it so bad or difficult to do that now? 

“Harder than you know…” he murmured. She looked hard at him, wary of his determination to keep his distance and bitterly impatient for him to do as she asked. She walked to the corner of the barn by the entrance and rummaged in a bin for a moment before pulling out a thickly bristled brush for grooming monsters.

“Well, assuming you are _willing_ but feel yourself unable…” She plucked some leftover fur from the bristles and then fitted the strap on the backside of it over her hand and turned back to him. “There is only one way to become better at something and that is to practice!” She said with a triumphant sort of grin on her face.


	16. Blurring Boundaries

“Wait! Frey this really isn’t necessary!” Bado pleaded with a whine, backing away slowly as she moved toward him, the monster brush on her hand.

“It really _is_ , unless you want your fur all matted and uncomfortable. You let me bathe you just the other day. This isn’t even as involved as that.” She said reasonably, stepping sideways as he tried to slip out from the corner he was backing into. His ears were flattened to his head and he looked around nervously.

“N-not that I don’t enjoy having the undivided attention of a lady,” He stammered as he ducked this way and that, trying to keep out of her reach. “But I’m liable to drop dead from embarrassment at this rate.”

“You’ll be—fine!” She said, jumping in front of him again as he feinted left, then right. “Just settle down! I’m not going to hurt you, you big baby!” An idea popped into her head, suddenly kindled by her own words. There was one thing he wouldn’t do, even to slip out of her grasp. She waited for him to move again, blocked his path and then dashed forward. With a hoarse whine he froze in place, realizing he could not escape except by bowling through her. She threw her arms around his neck and gripped him tight, waiting silently while his barrel chest heaved in surprise and mild panic.

“F-frey…” He quailed. She thought wistfully for a beat of the way he had eagerly leaned into her touch and crooned happily as a wolf not long ago. Why did he have to shy away from her _now_?

“Bado.. I already told you,” She said quietly, not moving to release him “These aren’t normal circumstances. You’ve gotta stop worrying about it and let me help you.”

“I can’t…”

“If you’re worried about what people will think, you’ll just be miserable. You’re a werewolf now. The people who know it don’t know how to cope with that information. They would have let you go hungry in that cage! You’ve got no reputation to ruin anymore so you might as well quit trying to push me away. I’m here of my own will, after all.”

“And what about what people think of _you,_ prin—Frey.” He corrected himself. Her heart gave a little flutter. “You stand to lose more than I have left to.”

“I’ll risk it.” She said simply. She felt him grow still in her arms. Drawing a deep breath, she drew back, confident he would not flee, now. He was looking searchingly in her eyes, still uncertain and his triangular ears were tuned on her.

“I already told you I think of you as a friend. It would be nice to know that you see me the same way.” She said, a question floating in the tone of her voice.

“I really don’t understand why you’re so determined to have a thing like me as a friend… but…” He trailed off.

‘Say it…’ She thought inwardly.

“I haven’t called anyone ‘friend’ for a long time, Frey…” She looked expectantly at him. He sighed. “Just don’t regret it too soon, okay?” She brightened a little.

“You’re not a ‘thing’, you know.” She said quietly.

“I’m not a man anymore, and I’m not a monster. What else would you call me?” He said, a pained expression creeping into his still-wolf features.

“You aren’t _neither_ , you’re _both_.” She said firmly, “And both are worthy of care and respect.” He blinked in surprise at her.

“…I suppose an Earthmate would say a thing like that, eh?” He gave the smallest little ‘hm’ like the seedling of a laugh. “And an Earthmate would be the sort to be a friend to me now… I suppose I’ll make an exception to my habitual solitude…”

“Good.” She said approvingly. “ _Now_ will you let me brush you?” She held up the monster brush still on her right hand. He whined, tilting his head up between exasperation and resignation.

“Do you groom _all_ your friends?” He moaned. She laughed aloud.

“All my monster friends, yes!” She said brightly. “It will feel good! I promise.”

“ _That_ is not as reassuring as you might think…” He muttered, but hunkered low to the ground like a submissive dog, his ears flat against his head. “Do as you like with me, then… I am in your keeping for now, after all…”

She paused only for a moment, before pushing herself forward and beginning to drag the brush over his shoulders in quick, firm strokes. ‘Just like grooming any other monster.’ She thought determinedly. …but none of her monsters spoke to her or worried about wearing pants…

Out of the corner of her eye she saw his eyes widen and blink as she brushed. Only a few strokes in, she turned the tool over and startled. Its bristles were already clogged thickly with his midnight fur.

“You _are_ shedding.” She said, pulling the large clump of fur from the bristles and letting it fall to the straw-covered floor of the barn.

“It’s itchy…” He muttered. She resumed, her slender arms struggling to make her strokes firm enough to pull the brush through the dense coat. As she went over the shoulder for a third round of brushing and de-furring the brush, he hummed a low note deep in his throat and leaned into her arms, pushing her off balance.

“Ah!” She staggered back slightly.

“Sorry.” He said hurriedly and shrank down against the floor again. She stared at him a moment, A smirk grew on her face. His large size and nervous air made the sudden relish of her attentions particularly… _cute_.

She ‘hm’ed a little laugh behind closed lips and leaned forward, reaching out her left hand and working her fingers into the dense undercoat until she felt the flesh of his shoulder. She made her hand rigid and began to scratch. He blinked and looked uncertainly at her from the corners of his eyes for a beat before her smile seemed to reassure him. He stretched out under her hands, eyelids lowering and ears flattening to his neck. She chuckled as she continued to scratch vigorously. He made an odd little whine and tilted his head back. One of his hind feet drew up off the floor and began paddling madly in the air. Frey stopped short.

Bado snapped out of his dazed enjoyment and looked wide-eyed at her. If he could have blushed in any visible way, she imagined he would have been as scarlet as a tomato right now. She laughed aloud as he ducked low, making himself as small as possible upon the floor.

“I told you you’re a cute monster!” She chimed, and ruffled the fur behind his left ear affectionately.

“Huh.” He huffed another short little woof of a laugh. “Well! That’s new. I was never cute as a dwarf.” Frey gave a little chortle.

“How do you know? I’ll bet you were a cute little dwarf kid at some point.”

“I haven’t been ‘little’ since I was eleven.” He returned somewhat gruffly, but the wolf grin was back. She smiled and resumed brushing him.

It took a good twenty minutes just to finish his shoulder and arm. Every four or five strokes she had to stop and pull another great clump of fur from the brush. He leaned against her hands and his gaze grew distant and unfocused again. When she had done with his shoulder she moved on to the other and from there she spent another half hour brushing the thick ridge of fur from his neck all the way down to the base of his tail. Working her way into a rhythm, she lost herself in the flow of the simple, repetitive motion. He was silent too, breathing slowly and blinking drowsily as he submitted tamely to her ministrations.

Having made her way all the way down his spine, she wrapped a hand around the base of his tail to brush out the disheveled fur of the heavily furred extremity. He flinched slightly and whined, turning his head to look back at her in worried fashion.

“Do you really have to—“

“Hush. I’m not going to leave a job half done. Just be a wolf for this part. You still look mostly like one, anyway.” He blinked thoughtfully at her.

“I still feel mostly like one too, I think.”

“Really?” She looked curiously at him. He nodded slowly.

“You, uh… You _were_ right. It does feel pretty nice… No wonder monsters like it so well…”

“Hm.” She smiled again. “I’m glad. After I do your tail you can roll over so I can get your belly. I’ve never met a monster that didn’t like that part especially.” He swallowed conspicuously.

“Just… be a wolf, huh?”

“Yes. You said you still feel mostly like one, right? Just lean into that feeling and relax. Don’t think of this in terms of being a man and don’t judge my actions by those standards, either. You’ve got some unique needs now and I know best how to see to them. Just follow my lead.”

“You’re a lot less shy than I thought you were… is that because I’m mostly wolf right now, too?” She kept her eyes on the bottle brush tail as she dragged the bristles of her monster brush through it repeatedly.

“I told you already: I’m a lot better with monsters than people.”

“Hm.” He mused.

“Okay. All done with your tail. You can roll over now.”

“Yikes. Now I really do sound like a pet.” He said comically but obeyed, looking up at her from the straw-covered floor with his ears pressed down again. His tail curled between his legs and covered himself carefully. She thought again that it was wholly unnecessary, but she said nothing.

Frey leaned over him and brushed and brushed. The quantities of black fur that came off of him seemed endless. It piled up on the floor of the barn as the afternoon light grew dim. Finally, she sighed and let her tired arms fall at her sides.

“Okay… All done.” She said in an exhausted exhalation. He stretched hugely and sat up in front of her, his nose reaching for her the way it had before whenever he tried to lick her face. She smiled softly and chuckled.

“Feeling affectionate?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. He ducked his head, sulking slightly in embarrassment. She laughed aloud this time.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

“Don’t be.” She shook her head.

“I guess there’s no sense trying to hide it. I already made an ass of myself pretty thoroughly when I… well…”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be close to someone you know… for a person or a monster…” She said quietly. He stared at her. After a moment is expression became pained. He leaned forward.

“Frey, you... are you alright?” His voice was very low and soft. She blinked in confusion.

“What?”

“You just looked… sad.” She felt her face flush. What kind of face had she been making?

“N-no, I’m fine. I just… I was a little sorry to see you regretting—“

“That’s not it.” He said, interrupting.

“What?”

“So, you lie without speaking too…” He said quietly. She stood frozen in front of him.

What was he talking about? She wasn’t hiding anything… unless…

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be close to someone…” He said slowly. “You’re saying that as much to yourself as to me…”

“I-I’m not…”

“You think I’m lonely but you don’t think I can recognize when someone else is?”

“I s-should go tell Venti you’ll be staying… and you should eat that food I brought before it gets too old.” She said hurriedly, setting the brush down on the lid of one of the water barrels and hurrying out the door.

“I’ll bring you some dinner in a couple hours.” She called over her shoulder as left.

Once again the walk back through the fields gave her mind time to brood fretfully.

‘What was _that_ all about?’ She frowned. She wasn’t the one…

“You’re saying that as much to yourself as to me.” His words echoed in her mind.

“I’m not… That’s ridiculous.” She muttered. Was he just trying to make himself feel better? Or maybe to get the upper hand on her again? She slowed to a stop in the middle of the field.

Had she really looked that sad? She felt her face twist now into a bitter expression.

She had wanted him to be affectionate with her. It was pointless to deny it. You can never really lie to yourself anyway, she thought. She missed the way he had cuddled close to her, licked her hands and face, excited and elated every time she returned. She missed the way he didn’t want her to leave in the evening. As the wolf that was more than just a wolf, that innocent intimacy had provided her something… something she didn’t know she wanted… something she didn’t know she’d miss.

Frey rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and sighed.

“Frey...” A familiar deep voice said behind her. She spun around, burning scarlet in her cheeks at the belated realization that there were tears in her eyes. Bado winced when he saw her face. He had ventured out of the barn after her and quietly drawn close while she was preoccupied. She sniffed and turned away, ashamed.

“Did you want to talk to Venti, too?” She said, trying to make her voice steady.

“Frey, I’m sorry.” He said, ignoring her deflection. She looked up at him, surprise written on her face. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He added, once again assuming that submissive animal posture, ducking his head low.

“It’s okay…” She said, rubbing her eyes. Then she sighed and looked down. “You… might be right, though...” Her throat closed. All at once she couldn’t bring herself to articulate the thought that had formed minutes ago under the dimming afternoon sky. He waited a few seconds for her to speak again, then sighed softly.

“I really don’t like accepting charity… and I may be out of practice having friends, but I know enough not to take advantage of your kindness without giving back.” He said. His voice was awkwardly stiff in places but she could hear his earnest feelings too. He sat up and opened his arms in careful mimicry of her previous gesture.

“I think part of what you want to give to me is also what I can do for you… as a friend.” The silver blue eyes looked right through hers into her soul. She blinked, tears burning at the rims of her eyes again.

“I… A-are you sure?” She stammered in disbelief. This was precisely what she wanted, after all… Bado nodded his half-wolf head.

“It’s like you said… These aren’t normal circumstances… and if I‘m just a monster to the rest of Selphia then I’d rather be an over affectionate pet than a beast they hide their children from.”

“Mind telling Forte you don’t mind being a pet?” Frey sniffed, laughing softly. He echoed the chuckle.

“You know she doesn’t listen to a word I say.” He smirked.

“Well, you raised her in your own shadow after all.” She returned. He shrugged as if to say he would not bother to contradict it. His arms were still spread in open invitation.

“Are you sure you want to offer this? You know as well as I do how people will be inclined to see this.”

“Yeah, well… I was thinking we could keep it quiet if you don’t mind. All… _this_ is trouble enough for me.” He tilted his head by way of gesturing to his half-monster body.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Come here.” He said. “Don’t make me quote more of the things you’ve said to me of late.” She took a step toward him and paused once more.

“What’s the matter, miss monster tamer? You certainly didn’t hesitate when _I_ was the one who looked at you that way…”

He had been the one who had stepped in front of her to fend off the wolf in the woods. He had been the one to fall victim to the curse. He had been imprisoned and feared and misunderstood. _He_ was the one who needed _her_ … so how had this happened? How had she come to find herself standing here with her eyes burning, wanting nothing more than to fall into the offered embrace? How did he know before she did that she was lost and lonely… as much as he was. Kiel’s words came back to her: ‘He’s not the kind of man who knows what he needs.’ Maybe she and the blacksmith who had pushed everyone far enough away that no one knew his heart were not as dissimilar as she’d guessed… She swallowed and took another step.

“It’s alright…” he murmured. “Even if this is _all_ I can do for you… I want to give you something, too.”

Frey drew in her breath, shut her eyes tightly and moved forward one more time. The huge furred arms of the half-monster wrapped around her… gently… slowly. He held her to him with a delicate touch she would have thought impossible from his gruff dwarf self, let alone as a monster.

“Frey…” He spoke quietly and she realized his muzzle was at her ear, whiskers brushing her cheek. That deep voice hummed right through her, resonating in her bones and the space within her lungs. “Thank you…”


	17. No Want of a Reason

“Morning!” Frey called as she opened the door to the barn. The wolf’s eyes that turned to look at her were more blue than silver now. He was sitting in a semblance of a cross-legged position on the floor, his now blunted snout pointed at her. Bado the wolf was becoming more and more a man by the hour, it seemed, but he was still covered in jet black fur as thick as ever despite the huge pile of shed fur clumps from the previous afternoon’s brushing session. She blinked as she saw it. The size of the heap of fur clumps was at least equal in size to the large wolf-man himself. She smiled at the leftover fur pile.

 It had been all too easy to forget about such a thing after she finally went to bed the night before. Too much a confusing jumble of emotions and half-digested thoughts after the careful, tender embrace he’d offered her and she’d accepted, Frey had walked steadily in laps around the town of Selphia until the moon had already crested at its zenith in the night sky. Still waning… only half of the pale surface illuminated.

“Wow look at that!” She cried in cheerful tones, “You’ve got a twin!” He turned and looked at the fur pile and chuckled.

“I’m handsomer.” He said simply with that comically expectant expression, waiting for her to laugh. She did not disappoint him. The chortle that fluttered from her throat was not really owed to that feeble bit of humor, however.

For all she knew, she might have had half a dozen best friends who would have wrapped their arms around her and spoken soft words of appreciation in her ears before her life in Selphia began, but in all likelihood she would never know. So this strange creature before her, for all intents and purposes, was her first treasured companion of such a nature. She walked up to him and opened her arms.

“Can I have a hug?” She asked sweetly. He looked at her with an oddly nostalgic expression. A smile pulled one side of his mouth back more than the other.

“Already hooked, huh?” He said with a self-satisfied air.

“Don’t tease or I won’t brush you.” She replied with a playfully haughty tilt of her head.

“Get over here, you little runt.” He laughed, scooping her up and squeezing her to him. She returned the hug, enjoying the warmth and pressure, not to mention the lush softness of his still-abundant fur.

“You’re sooo soft!” She chimed. “I should make a sweater out of all that fur you dropped for you to wear when you’re back to needing clothes.

“That’s weird.” He said with a huff, releasing her and bending his brow into a slightly incredulous expression.

“You’re weird.” She countered, poking him with an outstretched finger.

“That’s fair.” He shrugged.

“I gotta say, though… I never would have guessed you for such a cuddly guy.” She smirked.

“Me neither.” He said candidly “Maybe it’s a wolf thing?” She shook her head.

“Nah... Monsters will eventually get to the point of being friendly enough to enjoy and even beg for petting and that sort of attention, but they don’t come out of the woods that way.”

“Hm.”

“You’re just a hugger, deep down. Face it.” She teased, poking him again. “Were you as snuggly with your odd little family when they were kids? I’ll get the truth from Kiel if you won’t tell me, you know.” She added when he looked reluctant.

“When they were little, sure… but since their folks passed those two have just relied on each other more than anything else. Even once I was the only one lookin’ after them they never were the sort to be physically affectionate with their foster father.” Frey blinked at him with curious but timid interest. He laughed a little bitterly.

“Yeah, I wasn’t much of a parent and they weren’t really children either, not mine or anyone else’s. Kiel and Forte especially are capable of acting as adults in all the superficial ways you can think of but they might be more stunted than anyone else their age when it comes to their hearts…” He looked away with a distant expression. “Forte never would let me hug her and she certainly wouldn’t cry in front of me.”

“Oh Jeeze… Forte.” Frey brought a palm to her forehead.

“…yeah…” He echoed her concern with his tone.

“She’s gonna kill me.”

“Nah…”

“Oh yes she is. You saw how furious she was at me for keeping you out here like a pet.”

“Being a pet ain’t so bad.” He said, scratching along his jawline and rumpling the fur there until tufts stood out comically in the air.

“I’m _serious_!” She insisted. “What am I going to do with her?”

“I’ve been askin’ myself that every day for the last decade and I’m telling you, you just gotta let Forte do whatever she’s gonna do. She’s too hard-headed to make her go one way or another… all you can do is be there for a person like that. Just knowing someone cares and will help you up if you fall is enough for some folks, you know?”

“But not for me or you, I guess, huh?” She replied, looking into his eyes. His face took on a puzzled sort of expression then his brow lifted a little.

“Guess not.” He said simply. They stared in silence at one another for a beat or two before he began to fidget uncomfortably. She smiled.

“I’ve never had a friend to be physically close to before, you know? It’s nice.”

‘Quite the understatement.’ She thought with an inward amusement but she wasn’t ready to admit out loud just exactly how nice it was… not until she had some idea of whether he was of a similar mind.

“I’m glad there’s something I can give you that you really want. ‘specially since I don’t have much in general right now… I still don’t much like being such a heavy burden on you though.” He looked fretfully at her, rubbing one arm with the other hand in a nervous expression of his guilty feelings.

“I haven’t been thinking of you as a burden.” She said, shaking her head.

“Still… Maybe I can help you out around the farm or something? There’s gotta be some way I can repay you for all this.”

“Well, I’m not worried about it, but if it will make you feel more at ease, then certainly you may help. It will be nice to have your company, anyhow.” She smiled at him. His brow bent upward in a bewildered fashion.

“You’ve warmed up to me pretty quickly, Frey…” He said slowly. She shrugged.

“What can I say to that? I like you, Bado. Don’t make me think too hard on _why_.” His features spread a little in surprise.

“Are you sure it isn’t just pity? Or your interest in monsters?” His tone was wary… reluctant to believe her.

“It’s not.” She answered simply.

“How do you know?”

“Well… because…” She trailed off, gesturing faintly in the air as she tried to assembled her feelings into words. Finally, she shook her head and made a frustrated noise. “I just do! And if you don’t believe me then just wait until you’ve changed all the way back. I won’t run off just because your pointy ears aren’t covered in fur anymore. I don’t need a _reason_ to care about you, you know? I just…do.” She repeated. He stared at her, an ear twitching slightly atop his head.

“I guess I’m just not… used to that.” He murmured. She blinked at him.

“What are you talking about? Forte and Kiel clearly care about you, after all. And it’s not like no one else in town gives a damn, either.”

“It’s not really the same… _You’ve_ done a lot more than ‘give a damn.’ Forte may think I’m just ignorant of it all… but she and Kiel… and everyone else here… I know they just _put up_ with me.” He spoke as one speaks of a simple unaccountable fact, shrugging slightly. “I understand plenty well how they see me.”

Frey opened her mouth to protest, but no words came… she hesitated and then let her lips close over a ghost of a frown. She didn’t want to admit it, not aloud anyway, but… he _was_ a joke around Selphia. Forte never spoke of or to him without an exasperated and frustrated air of disapproval and impatience. Vokannon complained of his fixation on money and lack of pride in his work. Illuminata, in a glorious show of hypocrisy, berated him for being too irresponsible, and everyone in town was ready enough to joke about the impossibility of him actually succeeding at making money. She flinched as she recalled her own relentless dismissal of his half-baked schemes.

“I… always thought you were joking around about your money-making ideas…” She mumbled abashedly, “Sorry if I hurt your feelings.” He gave her an appraising look that changed to something like approval in a moment, the smile becoming more genuine and his eyes looking affectionately at her. With a twinge of surprise, Frey realized his face was becoming more man-like if she could read such nuance in his expressions.

“Hey, now… Don’t start taking me all seriously, Frey.” With a sudden pang she recognized his tone and air as it changed. He had put back on the mask, all his feelings and thoughts veiled behind that same old papery thin humor and obscurity.

“Wha—“

“But it _is_ nice to see that side of you again. You’re pretty cute even without having to become a monster.” He said in a mischievous tone. Frey blushed and frowned again.

“It was a lot easier to know what to do for you when all you wanted was food and petting. You’re so confusing as a man…” She sighed. What on earth was he going on like that for? He chuckled softly.

“You just might find that a man’s needs aren’t much more complicated than that.” She stared at him again for a breath but that enigmatic smile was back… the one that always meant he had no intention of being direct or saying anything that wasn’t buried under or entangled with some kind of bizarre, deflecting humor.

“Well, since you’re so determined to be cryptic, why don’t we quit talking and get to working on some farm chores? It’s still an hour or two before breakfast after all.”

“As you wish, little one.” He said in a whimsical tone. “You’re my keeper for the time being, so I’ll go where you go and do as you say.” Frey sighed again but smiled in spite of herself. What _did_ she feel so attached to about this strange man? She wasn’t at all confident she could articulate it even if she wanted to.

“Come on, then, furball.” She gestured for him to follow her as she turned and left the barn. They walked out into the field and she instructed him on the means of determining when eggplants and spinach and pumpkins were ripe. He said little, mostly just wordlessly bringing baskets full of produce from the field to the shipping bin. As the sun climbed up over the tree line to announce the breakfast hour, he padded quietly up behind her and nudged her arm with his head.

“Hey there.” She chuckled. He did not speak, but smiled pleasantly with his toothy wolf-grin and nuzzled his way affectionately under her elbow to encourage her to stroke his head. “Decided to just ‘be a wolf’ for now, eh?” She mused. He gave a little half-voiced ‘woof’ and leaned more insistently into her willing attentions. She stroked his head and ears, relishing their especially velvety softness, scratched under his chin and jaw, smoothed down the wayward tufts on his neck, and patted his barrel-chested sides with a generous air. She didn’t have to convince herself that it was easier to be unreservedly affectionate with him when he acted as if he were wholly a monster. Maybe it was easier for him to accept her attentions as such, too. An obscure uneasiness still clung to the edges of her mind, though. If she really meant to be his friend when he was a man and no longer a monster, they would have to step out of this foggy gray area and identify what really was alright for them to do together under more normal circumstances.

Right now, though… right now he was so willing to exploit his still wolf-like visage in order to revel in the simple, innocent intimacy they had rationalized their mutual want of. Frey had the distinct impression that both the persistent sense that there was nothing wrong with being close to him like this, and the certainty she felt that no one else would agree with it were both very firmly correct. All the same… she didn’t want to lose this now that she had it, regardless of what anyone else thought about it.

She pulled his wolfish head toward her and nuzzled him with her own face with a half-muffled giggle.

He blinked at her as she drew away, then his eyes softened. She smiled widely at him, finding no words would better express her happy heart better than the physical gesture she had just given. Then his gaze grew distant over her shoulder and suddenly transformed into a startlingly apprehensive unease.

“Uh oh.” He murmured. She turned around and felt her stomach twist. Forte was marching across the field in their direction with a profoundly unpleasant expression on her face.


	18. Knowing Nothing

“So! You still insist on acting with no semblance of remorse!” Forte hissed as she marched up to Frey and stood nose to nose with her, glaring furiously. “Are you going to try and make a pet out of my brother next? I believed you when you said you blamed yourself for what happened, you know! I _trusted_ you! …I never thought you’d… _use_ him like this!” She jutted her chin at Bado standing half-upright behind her, his ears folded back and an abhorrent expression plastered on his still mostly wolf features.

Frey reeled breathlessly as if Forte had slapped her. Her heart was still raw with the agony of guilt. She _did_ blame herself. That her own foolishness had landed Bado with a curse that bent his mind and body into something unfamiliar and strange to him without any means of controlling it… it was unforgivable. She would do _anything_ to reverse their positions. She would sacrifice herself to a curse that made her _only_ a wolf and lose all her humanity forever if only it would undo what she had done to him… That Forte thought her to be exploiting his situation for her own petty gain… it was too much to bear. Could she really think that?

“FORTE!” Bado shouted. It sounded rather like a bark, but her name was clearly recognizable in his booming voice. The lady knight jerked backward as if struck, herself. “Don’t speak to Frey that way, She’s done more for me than anyone since I was bitten!”

“Bado! You—you’re…” Forte stammered.

“Yes, I have my mind still. I may be hairier than before but I am still _me_.”

“Ventuswill said… she said you—“ Forte stared wide-eyed at him, stumbling over her words.

“He remembered who he was since the last time you saw him.” Frey said in a shaky voice. Forte turned and stared at her in disbelief.

“He’s… and you _still_ carried on with him like this?” Her anger bloomed once more. “I thought we were _friends_ , Frey!” A jagged-edged growl rumbled from Bado’s muzzle and his ears flattened down in anger as his lips pulled back into a snarl.

“Can’t you hear me, Forte? I am staying with Frey voluntarily! She hasn’t been _using_ me, so will you stop yelling at her for crying out loud?” She whirled on him.

“You mean to say _you’ve_ been... YOU fraternized with her? …let her touch you and treat you like an animal?!” Her expression was both livid and horrified. “I can’t believe _either_ of you!”

“If you think I’m so bad for accepting her help, then I should like to know where _you’ve_ been since I was cursed, huh? I don’t recall _you_ trying to make sure I wasn’t just rotting in that prison cell!”

“ _I_ was out in Yokmir forest hunting for the wolf that bit you to change you back into yourself!” Forte shouted. “If you think she’s so great for wanting to keep you like any other monster in a _barn_ , maybe you should ask yourself why _she_ hasn’t been trying to cure you!” Bado flinched visibly and Frey felt her stomach crumple painfully inside her.

Mortified as she was at Forte’s accusations, she had to admit… she was _right_. She _hadn’t_ lifted a finger to try and cure the lycanthropic curse… she’d been too busy tending to him as a monster, she hadn’t even thought to go off in search of a permanent solution to his affliction. Guilt folded heavily upon guilt in her heart. What was she thinking? Calling him her friend and indulging in whatever affectionate gestures he was willing to give… What kind of friend would be content to see him forever cursed if there was a hope of reversing it? She could not form a word.

“I don’t _want_ you running around out there _looking_ for the monster that cursed me!” He thundered, concern brimming in his voice along with indignance now. “Don’t be a fool, Forte! There’s no sense in you getting yourself cursed, too!”

“So, what then? You’ll just remain a beast on her farm whenever you are more wolf than man, huh? But what about when you _have_ changed back? Will you remain here soliciting the overfamiliar attention of a girl almost twenty years younger than you?” He flinched again, visibly shaken by the accusation.

“I’m not—Forte, it isn’t like that!” He hurried to say, a little breathless with shock. Frey wanted to bury her face her hands and hide… Humiliation burned in her cheeks and her chest clenched painfully.

“ _You_ may be content to hide from this problem in _her_ arms because she pities you, because she feels too guilty to say no to you! _You_ may be fine with behaving shamefully on top of everything that has already gone wrong, but _I_ will not stand by and let this pass! I will find that wretched creature that began this and I will end it!” She finished and whirled around, storming off breathlessly with her hand clutching the hilt of her sword on her belt.

Stunned completely silent, Frey and Bado watched her go until she disappeared from sight. Then, Frey’s resistance crumbled and she plunged her face into her hands and let out a strangled sob.

“I’m so sorry!” She gasped.

“You… really feel this has all been your fault, Frey?” He asked in a weak voice. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and nodded.

“I should have been thinking about finding you a cure! I shouldn’t have been dallying around here when I could have been actually working toward undoing what happened to you because of me!” The words poured out of her in a stream of guilt and pain and regret. She desperately hoped he would believe her. Her green eyes searched his silvery blue ones urgently for understanding, or forgiveness… _something_.

“I… I see.” He said, swallowing. “So… All of this… you have felt obligated. And I—“ He broke off, eyes widening with an uncomfortable realization. His back stiffened, and he bowed his head low, his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry for my behavior in being overly familiar with you, Princess.” The word cut into her like a dagger. He had shut her out. Forte’s insults and shouting had been like blows from a blunt weapon but _this_ … The pain of him retracting the friendship they had only just forged took her breath away. She trembled mutely, her eyes filling with tears. He turned away and moved back toward the barn, speaking low as he walked past her.

“I’ll still repay your hospitality, don’t worry… You don’t need to pretend fondness anymore. I don’t blame you so I hope you will not feel responsible for providing me anything without compensation. I’ll earn my keep on your farm, until Ventuswill sees fit to release me.”

“Wha—“ she gasped, stunned and dismayed beyond the reach of words.

But he was already gone. His bottle brush tail, shorter than it had been yesterday but still very thickly furred, disappeared as the door to the barn swung shut again at the other end of the field. Frey shook her head in disbelief.

“No…” She whispered. “You can’t think… don’t you know I _meant_ it… I meant _all_ of it.”

Kiel’s words came back to her:

“He isn’t a man who knows what he needs.”

“He doesn’t know _anything_!” She choked, indignantly to herself. What on earth was this? Her heart felt like it had been rent in two. It was as though he had crumpled up her feelings, her care for him, like an unwanted paper and tossed it at her feet. Kiel had told her to keep giving Bado what she knew he needed. She had never expected to be pushed away so completely… not by the person who she owed her life to… and not while she was presently trying to give him every comfort she possibly could to ease his burden…

“Fool…” She hissed, failing to swallow past her clenched throat. All around her the world continued, not frozen as she was, but quite normal. The autumn leaves falling, the cold breeze stirring them up once they fluttered to the ground. Clouds drifted by in a thin blue sky above. All of it, as if to spite her in her sensation that the world, like her heart, must have come to a screeching halt, continued just as it ever had. She stood rooted in place, burning with indignance, shame, hurt, and a clenching, _desperate_ need to make him understand.

She had to make him see that she wasn’t acting out of pity or guilt… perhaps that _had_ been her initial feelings regarding his situation and her role in bringing it upon him, but now… over the last week, everything had changed. Suddenly, his was a presence she didn’t want to be without. Despite having only been beside her a few days, she could not imagine suddenly being apart from him as if they had never spoken that day, the day of the full moon when everything was turned on its head.

With a pang she heard her own thoughts and recognized whom she feared for. Until now, she had told herself she wanted to give _him_ the comfort of this intimate affection they had inadvertently begun… but it was not just his loneliness that she worried over anymore.

‘I _have_ been using him…” She thought aloud in a whispered exhalation and with a fresh bolt of raw shame shooting down her back. “But... He was the one who saw that I was lonely… He wanted to…”

Her own words echoed in her mind this time:

“I saw you when there was no barrier between your actions and what you were feeling.”

And on top of everything, their conversation this morning… he had laughed with her and embraced her, returning her affection.

“No… This is nonsense!” Frey hiccupped with a flare of indignance. “If I can give him what he needs and he can do the same for me, then to keep away from one another… it’s just _madness_. And… I can hardly abandon him _now_ any more than I could have left him alone in that forest with a concussion.”

“Frey?” A slight voice sounded behind her and she jumped in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just… I heard shouting. Is everything okay?” It was Clorica, looking at her with an expression full of concern.

“Well… no. Everything isn’tokay.” Frey sighed. “But I’m going to try and fix that.” She looked back toward the barn.

“Frey, I… I agree with Forte. You and Bado shouldn’t be spending all this time together. And you can’t keep touching each other either, even if he _is_ mostly monster. It… isn’t decent.” She finished with a very clearly uncomfortable gesture. Frey winced slightly at Clorica’s words, then a bitter sort of smile pulled on her lips and she looked up at Clorica with a defiant expression not wholly free of fear.

“I don’t think I give a damn about what’s decent, Clorica.” She said in an unsteady voice. And taking advantage of Clorica’s stunned silence she turned and walked away across the field toward the barn.


	19. Small but Mighty

Every step made her feet prickle as Frey marched across the field to the barn. Her head swam with a dizzy feeling that grew stronger as she forced her numb hands to grasp the handle of the door and pull it open. As always the dimmer light of the inside of the barn made her pause for a moment while she adjusted to it, blinking.

Bado was hunched miserably against the back wall of the barn. He had torn the trousers she had brought mid-thigh to make them wearable and put them on. Now he was sitting on the straw covered floor, awkwardly trying to assume a very human posture with his knees drawn up and his arms over them, but the still wolf-like legs did not arrange in such a position easily, and he looked physically uncomfortable oh top of all the anguish already written on his face. He looked up at her and for a fraction of a moment that same happy excitement flashed across his eyes, having become habit over the past few days whenever she returned. It was rapidly replaced by a pained expression as if merely looking at her was like closing a hand in a door accidentally. She mirrored the cringing face he made.

Silently, She closed the door behind her and walked into the room, clutching at one arm with the other as she willed herself forward. He looked down at the straw covered floor.

“Did you need me for something?” His tone was flat. At first this question, a declaration that he assumed she only meant to have his help in working the farm as repayment of her housing him, jabbed at her just as she would have expected. But almost instantly, as the echo of his words bounced in her mind, a stroke of inspiration flashed through her and she felt her eyes brighten.

“Yes.” She said, with an air of sudden certainty. He looked up, his face pinched with unhappiness still.

“For what? Should I finish harvesting the center field?” He asked dully. She shook her head, watching him intently.

“I’m saying,.. Yes, I need you… but not for anything, and not to do anything. I just… need _you_.” His eyes widened and then he cringed again, looking away, clenching his teeth.

“Stop it, Frey.”

“Stop what?” She countered.

“I heard what Forte said. You don’t need to pretend to like me, anymore. I know it’s just because you feel guilty… I know it’s only pity.” He sounded completely defeated.

“I’m not pretending, Bado. And I wasn’t lying when I told you I like you, or that I want to be friends.” She stepped closer.

“I don’t want you being nice to me just because you feel obligated.” His tone grew harsh. “It’s lot like I ever had much dignity to lose, but _this_ ” He gestured to himself. “is bad enough.” He looked coldly at her and she couldn’t help but wince.

“I know… I’m sorry I haven’t done anything to try and help cure you yet. But I will! If there is any way to restore you, I _will_ find it. I’ll do whatever it ta—“

“No!” He hissed. “You and Forte both! You don’t do me any kindness by putting yourselves in danger. I’d rather stay cursed than have you fall just to give me back a life I haven’t even made use of. I don’t hold it against you—either of you! So just…” He cringed, “ _Stop_ insisting that you care for me. It’s worse than being alone in this. Spare me whatever you’d do for me out of pity.

Anger began to boil in Frey’s stomach. Why didn’t he believe her? Here she had come to pour her heart into his hands and tell him she’d do _anything_ to help him, and he would say such things…

“It’s _not_. _pity!”_ She said in a breathless, urgent voice, and reached out to him with a slender outstretched hand. He caught it up and thrust it back toward her with a bitter glare.

“I said _stop_ this, Frey! I don’t expect anything from you! Just drop this charade! You’re not helping…” He curled about himself again, shrinking into a miserable figure and staring bitterly down at the floor.

Frey’s hand curled into a fist and shook as her nails dug into her palm. Her breath trembled in her throat and her voice spilled out of her in a wavering outpour of venom.

“It would be a _lot_ easier on me if I _didn’t_ care about you…” He jerked his head up and looked into her furious face with a wince. She regretted the words almost as soon as she said them. The inward spasm of pain that seemed to flicker in his silver blue eyes buried itself in her heart like a shard of ice. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—“

“I know… really, I do. I’m a burden to everyone who’s ever cared about me. Always have been. That’s why I don’t want you involved, Frey.”

“Oh, shut up!” She choked. “I’m not saying I’d rather _not_ care about you! It’s just—“ Tears welled up in her eyes again and she was too exhausted with all of it to prevent them from spilling down her face. He stared at her, plainly aggrieved at her sorrow. “It hurts. To have you push me away like this… over and over. I wish you would believe me. I wish you’d let me in.”

Had she ever seen a more bone deep misery than what pulled on his features now? He perfectly reflected the discomfort in her own heart, and it made it all the worse.

“I… do feel responsible for what has happened to you. But that is not why…” She bit her lip. “The truth is… You were right about me. And I think I was right about you too. I was glad… when you h-held me.” Her voice shook. “I thought… I thought we’d be alright like this.”

“Frey… you heard what Forte said… she’s right. You can’t be close to me. It will only cause you more trouble to be seen cozying up to a man my age…”

“Clorica just said something along the same lines… She said it wasn’t decent…” Frey said quietly. He sighed and looked away again. “I told her I don’t give a damn what’s ‘decent’.” She added defiant once more. He turned back to her, searching her eyes.

“You can’t—“

“I mean it. Listen to me, Bado. I care about you. I want to give you whatever I can and I need you as much as I know you need me. It’s not just for your sake… It’s for mine too. Please. I’d miss you too much, now… now that I know how we could be.” He stared at her, seeming to struggle with himself a moment, then he hazarded a querulous voice:

“You’re serious?”

“Yes!” She said, gesturing in exasperation. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for _days_ now you bone-headed fleabag!” She laughed, despite everything; despite the tears in her eyes still, despite his confused expression, despite all the shouting and anger Forte could possibly rouse against her. “I’m asking you to trust me. Let me be here for you. …And I’m asking you to do the same for me, too.” Once again, she spread her arms and drew closer to him… one step and one breath away. He leaned forward, as though he wanted nothing more than to say yes… to fall into her affection and wrap his arms around her like he had the night before. But he hesitated still. Worry had not left his eyes.

“You’re saying you still want to be friends?” She nodded slowly, but his expression darkened with concern again. “This… doesn’t feel like mere friendship… You said these aren’t normal circumstances… you said to just ‘be a wolf’ but I’m not… So the way we’ve been together… what does it mean? What are you asking for, Frey? Is it only friendship?” She shook her head and spoke softly, true from the bottom of her heart.

“Maybe it isn’t. I don’t know what to call it… I don’t know what else to say other than that… I don’t want to be separated from you, least of all because you’re determined to punish and isolate yourself even more than you already are. Let’s just let it be whatever it is until we’ve seen enough to put a name to it. Please, Bado…” She gazed into his eyes, past the cloak of the beast that was wrapped about him, past the veil of hesitance and self-denial he had wrapped about himself. She glimpsed the wanting, lonely heart of him through those eyes again, now… and saw his resistance crack. He swallowed, and stood up, never looking away from her eyes.

He leaned forward, his arms drew up and wrapped around her. Relief washed over her like a warm wave of sunlight. She returned the pressure of his embrace as he held her close, her arms around his substantial frame. He squeezed her tight and took a trembling breath.

“I don’t know whether you’re an idiot or an angel, Frey.” He said softly, full of open vulnerability again. She smiled.

“Perhaps both?” She laughed softly, struck by the outlandishness of this unlikely intimacy, herself.

“Maybe so…” He returned, his voice humming from his chest through her as she leaned into him. “You  must be at least a couple cards short of a full deck to invest so much in a mess like me, anyway. He released her and leaned back, looking searchingly into her eyes again. He seemed calmer now, but as always, not without that fretful undercurrent. She let his hands slip down her arms as she, too let herself part from him, but caught them just before they fell away.

“You’re not likely to win Forte over this way, you know?” He raised his brow, still worried, at her.

“I know… but if I lose her for not wanting to let you alone in your struggles… well, better to lose her for doing what I know is right than to keep her at the price of giving you up and throwing away my principles… Maybe when all this is sorted she’ll forgive me…” She finished glumly.

“Yeah, me too, hopefully.” He smiled weakly. She looked down fretfully, but before long a gentle touch under her chin made her lift her eyes to his once more. “She’s a bull-headed, stubborn girl, and no mistake… but it’s not in her nature to hate someone she cares for. She doesn’t even hate me, though I’ve probably given her enough reason to.” His tone was soft and sincere. Frey looked curiously at him. Here again she was seeing the part of him that stirred her curiosity back then… had it really only been a few days? It seemed like a season’s worth of new experiences that had occurred between then and now.

She sighed, relieved and happy, and pulled him close again, snuggling into his thick black fur and savoring the warm, solid presence of him. He chuckled softly.

“You’re a strange one, Frey.” It was a jibe full of gentle affection. She pulled back enough to look up at him and she frowned sternly. His eyes widened and he looked uncertainly at her.  She reached up and grabbed hold of his muzzle, tilting his head down to look forcefully into his eyes.

“Promise me you won’t shut me out like that again. …No matter what Forte or anyone else says about us. I’ll stand by you no matter what happens, Bado, so… will you promise me the same?” He stared at her a long while before he shook his snout out of her grasp gently.

“Well… You’re definitely getting the worse side of a deal like that, but… if you insist. I promise you’ll be first in my confidence from this day forward. I’ll leave my heart open to you, so don’t break me, okay?” There was no mistaking the vulnerability in his voice and his gaze. She smiled a genuine, tender expression from the very center of herself.

“I promise.” She said sweetly, and kissed his black wolf’s nose lightly. Huis ears flattened as he looked wide-eyed into her smiling face.

“Heh. You _are_ a small but mighty monster tamer, aren’t you?” He said in a small voice, a grin pulling on one side of his mouth. She nodded brightly, her heart suddenly buoyant in stark contrast from her low spirits of not ten minutes before.


	20. The Promise He Insisted On

Dawn broke over Selphia with a harsh light in a cloudless, cold Autumn sky. Frey rose to Clorica’s stiff wake-up call and pointedly ignored her disapproving glances as she gathered up a hefty plate of breakfast to take out to the barn to Bado. Perhaps the soft spoken lady butler imagined she could wield silence like a sword against the princess’s determination but Frey was undeterred. The promise she had shared with the werewolf that had taken up residence in her barn at her bidding was like a shield against the misgivings of others. Her resolve carried an absolute certainty, born of her faith in his assurance to keep his heart open to her. With such a thing promised to her, what could anyone else say that could carry more weight?

“Clorica, how many days left until the new moon?” Frey asked in a voice full of false cheerfulness. Every morning she asked this question, just to give her friend a firm reminder that she had no intention of giving up her unusual, not-quite-monster friend and neither would she let anyone else forget the once dwarven blacksmith of Selphia.

“Five days remain until the new moon, milady.” Clorica answered formally. Formal speech was another way she clashed with Frey when she could not remain silent.

“Thank you.” Frey replied without revealing the prickling irritation just beneath her pleasant tone.

Five days left… and with every passing day, Bado more and more resembled his former self, a tall man with Broad shoulders and a short beard framing his angular jaw. Of course, he still had much more hair than a man, even the particularly masculine dwarf man that he was, ought to have. His pointed ears were still high up on his head and larger than they should be, not to mention the shrinking but still-present tail, and his teeth, most of all, carried the character of a wolf still, pointed and wild looking and gleaming at her in pearly rows whenever he opened his mouth or smiled.

This picture of what he had looked like the day before was all pieced together in her mind as Frey walked over the long stretch of bare ground between the tilled earth of her fields on her way to the monster barn in the center of a set of four at the far end of the farm. This one had a turnip made of cut wood nailed just above the doorframe. She pulled open the door and stepped inside.

“Mornin’ Frey! Whaddaya think? This is the ugliest I’ve ever been! Hahaha!” His generous laugh filled up the room and he spread his arms in a sort of “ta-dah” and she clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a storm of giggles. It was undeniably true, whatever his determination to make it into a joke. The transition from wolf to man did not flatter him one bit in this stage.

Most of the fur had fallen out, so he wore the tattered clothing she had appropriated from the barracks but it still stuck out in tufts, particularly down the center of him in front and back, and his tail, which protruded above the rim of the trousers but beneath the edge of the shirt, was short and comical in its little fits of wagging. His face could no longer be described as a snout but still hadn’t flattened to that of a person. The bridge of his nose hadn’t narrowed enough yet either and his nose and lips were still grayish black  at the edges. And those teeth… He looked worse than a monster, being so nearly a dwarf again, all except the beastly, serrated bite of his wolf’s teeth. The canines were particularly cruel looking with their long gleaming points which were the first to show themselves if he opened his mouth even a little.

“I can’t imagine why you seem so excited about that.” She gave him a bent sort of look, half a grin, and half incredulous. “But here, I’m guessing you still have the appetite of a beast, since you still have the teeth of one.” She handed him the food and he smiled an appreciative smile, albeit an eerily toothy one as he reached out to accept it. The hand that brushed against hers as he took the plate was grayish and the nails were still narrow, sharp and black. Like the rest of him from head to toe, it hadn’t quite lost the coloration of his monster form. Even so, the touch of his hand, with its rough, slightly padded palms did not bring a shudder from the diminutive princess of Selphia.

“Thanks, little runt.” He said affectionately, and reached out with the other hand to ruffle her hair. This she dodged nimbly, having had practice over the last few days.

“Ah-ah!” She wagged a finger at him. “That is not the kind of touch I want to start the day with, furball. Hugs are always welcome but you needn’t ruin my hair.”

“ _That_ nickname hardly suits anymore.” He pointed out, gesturing to the abundance of skin now visible especially on the backside of his legs, arms, and on his face. Then he sat down, cross legged on the floor and she followed suit, planting herself just before him. “You’ll have to come up with a new one.” He said thoughtfully, spearing a piece of melon with a fork and popping it into his mouth with a thoughtful air. He blinked at the plate as he swallowed.

“Say, isn’t it the season for hot chocolate by now?” He asked with an expectant smirk as if to say he’d very much like her to fetch him some. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sure you want to risk it, mutt? Chocolate is deadly to dogs, you know.” He laughed aloud.

“There you go! That is much more fitting, isn’t it?” Clearly he approved her sudden inspiration for a new term of endearment to lay on his head. “But I’ll be damned if this curse didn’t come with enough symptoms without giving me food allergies to go with everything else I have to deal with.” He shook his head wearily. “Anything else, other than chocolate?” She pulled a tiny little book from a pouch on her belt and flipped to a page scribbled with the names of certain foods.

“Avocado… Grapes & raisins, garlic and onions… and alcohol too.” She read the list steadily before closing the little book and looking up at him. At this last item from her notes he groaned.

“Can’t even get drunk to make all this nonsense more bearable! Being a werewolf is the worst!” He set the plate down on the floor beside him and gesticulated dramatically, though his energetic air betrayed his bright mood regardless of how he complained. With every day that passed and every feature that grew closer to his original form, Bado the werewolf became more cheerful and more excited than Frey could ever remember seeing him, even when there was no mysterious affliction besetting him.

“I can think of one perk it comes with though.” She said in a conspiratorial tone, and pounced on him, throwing her slender arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly as he made a show of tumbling over and leaning on his elbows.

“Oh spare me, monster hunter! I am just a poor wretch with not the strength of a wolf nor the handsomeness of a dwarf!” He cried theatrically, then flopped upon the floor as if struck dead. “Alas, I am no match for such a fierce warrior princess as thee!” he sighed and lay still, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth and holding his eyes shut. Having tumbled over on top of him when he rolled onto his back, Frey smirked again and bought into his game.

“Finally I have slain this troublesome beast! He was a bother to track down, and no mistake. All that’s left to do now is _skin_ him so I may make a fine rug from his hide for my bedroom floor!” She wriggled her fingers under the edge of his shirt and pulled it upward, revealing his muscular abdomen, still thickly furred down the middle in a line that spread out toward his hips.

“Whoa, hey now.” He jerked upright and pried her hands from him with one hand while he replaced the shirt over himself with the other. She twisted and squirmed to free her hands and try to tickle him but he was no longer playing. “Frey, settle down. No more of that.” His tone was so firm and pointed that she stilled, looking up at him in a bewildered fashion.

“What’s wrong? You’re the one who started that game.” She tilted her head at him, a little miffed to be made the transgressor of the exchange.

“I know, but I have—well—most of my body back in order and a girl like you ain’t got any business tryin’ to get under a man’s clothes, you know?” He cringed slightly, an ear twitching as he spoke.

“I d-didn’t mean—“

“I know, I know. But sometimes… well, sometimes I get the feeling you don’t really know precisely what the difference is between a friend and a boyfriend.” She flushed crimson and sat up, shifting off of him and setting a few inches of space between their bodies. He did not release her hands, however, looking steadily at her face. “Do you?” He asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“Of course I do!” She said, a little more shrilly than she intended. True, she hadn’t had a boyfriend since she had lost her memory and taken up residence in Selphia but she was not a child, for heaven’s sake. “You act as if I tried to kiss you on the mouth or something.” She pouted, resentful at having been embarrassed. He bent an eyebrow at her in a disbelieving stare. “I know the difference between what friends do together and what couples do and what married couples do too!” At this she felt herself go even redder, much to her further chagrin.

“Oh boy…” He frowned uneasily. “You’re pretty naïve still, aren’t you?” He muttered, as if to himself rather than to her. She tried to pull her hands away but he held them with just enough firmness to his grasp that she could not easily extricate them.

“Well let me go if you don’t want me touching you.”

“Take it easy, firecracker.” He smirked, his pointed canines peeking out from his still wolfish mouth. “We should talk about it and sort this out.”

“Fine, talk then.” She muttered, looking away with a frown. Her face was still hot with embarrassment.

“Didn’t you say you’re twenty?” He asked, tilting his head with genuine curiosity. He wasn’t teasing, but it still felt like a jibe.

“Yeah, so?” She shot back.

“So, do you think it’s as simple as friends hug, couples kiss, and married couples have sex?” He asked in completely level tones. Upon the end of the sentence she jumped a little, too flustered to answer right away. He frowned again, looking completely bemused. “How can you be twenty and still jump at the word, even?”

“I don’t know, okay? I can’t remember anything before a year ago so who can say what kind of life experience I’ve had.”

“Well clearly it didn’t involve a sexually intimate relationship…” He sighed and shook his head in a manner that suggested he had an extraordinarily large knot to untangle in a mile’s worth of yarn sitting in his lap. She squirmed again, in spite of herself.

“I know about sex, okay? I even know how it’s done, though I don’t have any idea If I _have_ done it.” She said with pepper in her voice.

“You sure don’t _sound_ like you have. He bent his brow at her somewhat suspiciously.”

“I’m not ignorant about it, I just don’t talk about it.” She insisted, trying to fight the urge to pull her hands away. Clearly he meant to hold them in his until the conversation met with his satisfaction.

“Hm. So you’re saying you aren’t as innocent as you make yourself out to be?” He inquired curiously.

“Well I didn’t see any reason to make it known to you how much I do and don’t know about sexual relationships since this is _not_ one at all!”

“You said you didn’t _know_ what it was when you pulled that promise from my lips.” He pointed out.

“Well, I meant it might not be an ordinary friendship, that’s all.” She was growing more flustered and it infuriated her. She hated to be so discomposed merely by a man’s words in referring to sex and sexual relationships.

“Listen, Frey. This _friendship_ of ours…” He said the word with a peculiar tone as if it was a foreign word he did not actually know the meaning of with certainty. “You know as well as I do it’s already outside the norm. It isn’t just Forte being prudish. Friends who are opposite genders usually don’t hug or touch each other like this… and young women don’t commonly call guys so much older than them ‘friends’ anyway.” She wriggled again, refusing to make eye contact.

“I won’t pull up your shirt again, just let me go already.” She whined.

“It’s more than that, Frey.” His voice took on a sense of deliberate patience, He tugged her wrists and tilted his head to try and coax her into looking him in the eye. She finally relented, looking back into that strange, part-monster face with his gray-blue eyes, still glimmering with a little silver color in them like a pool reflecting moonlight. He stared into her eyes a moment or two and then blinked and looked away, seeming to struggle a little to speak, all of a sudden.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, thoroughly confused by now.

“I told you when you came barging in here demanding that I promise not to push you away… this doesn’t feel quite like a simple friendship—and I’m not talking about the aspects of it to do with me being a monster part of the time, either.” He added with a warning look as she opened her mouth to interrupt.

“I—well… I just… want to be close to you. I’m not trying to make you into my thirty-six-year-old boyfriend, if that’s what you’re implying.” She said defensively. A slightly bitter, knowing expression flickered in his strange face for half a heartbeat, then it was gone.

“I’m not suggesting that, exactly.” He countered, seemingly unperturbed by her words. “And besides, you can’t have a thirty six year old boyfriend _or_ a werewolf boyfriend, let alone both.” His tone was teasing for a moment, but turned sober again as he came back to his half articulated thought: “But this intimacy, this physical closeness… is more of a couple’s thing than a friend thing, even if you don’t mean to… to kiss me.” He swallowed. She blinked. Had she really just seen that? And heard it? The catch in his voice and the sudden uneasy hiccup in his steady manner?

“You don’t want to be close anymore?” She asked, a moment or two later. Her voice was small and fragile as she spoke, ready to be rejected… anticipating it. He raised his brow and looked wholly unwilling to deal the blow she expected. His strange, grayish hands with the rough, thick pads on the palms squeezed her little hands. He looked down at them.

“I didn’t say _that_.” He said very softly. Now he was the one avoiding eye contact. “But even if I _do_ want it… and I promised to leave myself open to you… even so... Don’t you know you shouldn’t be sharing this with me?”

Suddenly she _ached_ to comfort him again… to wrap her arms around him and hold him close until the uncertainty and pain of loneliness left along with the tension in his shoulders, his throat, and his mouth. But she held herself in place and tried to give him what he needed with words first, this time.

“According to whom?” She said, her voice was gentle and quiet, but even so her tone was defiant. “A bunch of people who aren’t you and aren’t me? What could possibly make those outside of this bizarre situation more qualified to judge what we ought to do and ought not to do than we ourselves are? And if I want this, and you want it too… it’s just crazy not to give it to each other.” She finished with a decisive air. He looked up at her and smiled with a little huff of a laugh.

“You could talk the birds out of the trees and beasts from the woods, couldn’t you?” A slight air of awe colored this somewhat poetic statement. Frey returned his odd little smile with one of her own.

“Well sure I could, but what for? It’s already a full time job charming you into behaving yourself.”

“Very true.” He mused in return, then grew somber a moment more. “But do you swear, whatever this looks like and whatever hugs and cuddly little gestures you give… You do _not_ mean to make a lover out of me?” She swallowed and looked steadily back at him.

Of course she didn’t… how could she? Even ignoring for the moment that he was sixteen years older than her, who in her right mind would choose for her lover one who was only a man for one day a month? For that was what the divine dragon suspected: Only on the day of the new moon would no trace of wolf be visible in Bado’s features. That is how the other lycanthropy cases involving dwarves had played out, after all.

Even as she reassured herself of this, a stubborn little part of her heart reminded her of the little hesitation in his voice from a moment ago… the way he had stumbled over his words when he said ‘to kiss me.’

She shook it off. No. It was impossible, and of course he wasn’t _hoping_ for… He couldn’t be, not when he was trying to extract a vow from her that she _didn’t_ want him that way. Settled by this thought, she looked into his eyes and spoke.

“I swear I do _not_ mean to make a lover out of you… so don’t worry anymore.” She squeezed his hands as she spoke and smiled in a manner she hoped would be reassuring.

“As you say, keeper.” He shrugged, smiling once more and resuming his whimsical air. She smiled too, relieved for the moment that this awkward conversation was over.

“Well, come on then, let’s get our chores done so we can get on with the day.” She sighed, standing up and moving toward the door. As she reached it she realized she hadn’t heard his following footsteps and she turned to look back at him.

It was only a glimpse; one moment so quickly replaced as to make her wonder if she had really seen it. But the little jolt that went through her body like a tiny electrical shock said she wasn’t imagining the sad, wistful look he had been combing over her with as she walked away. His expression had rapidly changed to a nonchalant manner with ambivalently raised eyebrows as if to shrug with only his eyes. She blinked, wavering for a heartbeat, and then beckoned him wordlessly with a hand to follow her.

‘What did I just see?’ The thought flashed in her mind uneasily along with a very clear notion of what it had been, regardless of her reluctance to believe it. She turned her head and listened to him stepping after her, careful not to look back again until the jumble of fresh and confusing feelings subsided enough for her to disguise it behind a carefree smile and a laugh like a summer breeze.


	21. A Sudden Confession

“Have you seen Bado lately?” The question was on everyone’s lips all around the town of Selphia, now that he had been missing over a week. It wasn’t uncommon, given his tendency to skip work to slink off somewhere for a nap, to find his shop unattended, but to see no sign of him and to find the fire in his forge back at the Meanderer smithy cold and still for days on end was unheard of.

Frey set her jaw as she stood in line at Sincerity Grocery Store. In front of her, Nancy, the wife of the Town’s doctor and a nurse herself, was asking Granny Blossom this same question in curious, apprehensive tones.

“No, I haven’t seen him in some time, now that I think of it. I’ll bet it has something to do with some ridiculous scheme of his or maybe he’s just slacking off more than usual.” The old woman shook her head disapprovingly.

“Do you really think he’d not even check in on his shop for this long, though?” Nancy replied.

“I don’t know, but he is a poor role model to youngsters like Doug, who I’ve found asleep at the counter enough without that lazy oaf puttin’ ideas into his head about leaving the store transactions up to the ‘honor system’ or whatever he calls it.” Blossom’s tone grew feistier as she spoke. Frey pretended to read the label on the large bag of rice in her arms, willing herself to remain quiet.

“I’m getting a touch worried, though, Blossom. It’s not like him to vanish like this… not for this long.” Frey felt a little buoyant affection kindling in her heart for the nurse, but this was quickly smothered by the elderly grocer’s next comment.

“Oh, horsefeathers, Nancy! You mark my words, soon enough he’ll come around spouting nonsense and trying to scam people out of their money with those ridiculous products he sells and you’ll feel awfully silly for missing that good-for-nothing around town. He’s just running away from work even more than usual, lately. That’s all.” She waved a withered old hand dismissively and then finished piling chocolate, flour, oil, and herbs into a brown paper bag on the countertop.

“I know he’s been a nuisance from time to time, but he’s still a part of our community and I’ll just feel better once I know he’s okay.” Nancy replied sweetly, and turned to leave with a wave of her slender hand to the old shopkeeper.

Frey sighed and stepped forward, feeling decidedly awkward about making conversation with the elderly shopkeeper now that she had heard her rail against Bado’s character so much. Glumly she pushed the bag of rice onto the counter and mumbled a greeting, not meeting blossom’s eye as she stood fidgeting while the old woman rang up her purchase.

“Everything all right, dear?” Blossom inquired sweetly. Frey glanced up, blushing slightly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She mumbled quickly. Everything was _not_ fine, and it wouldn’t be fine as long as Bado was still cursed. But she couldn’t exactly expound on that here, to Granny Blossom. The old woman looked somewhat suspiciously at her and gave a little ambiguous ‘hmm’ in reply. Frey handed her the money for her purchase and hurried out the door.

“Jeeze I really need to figure out what I am going to say to people when they eventually _do_ know where he’s been all this time and what happened to him.” She huffed to herself as she speed walked down the cobblestone street. She rounded the corner with her head ducked, still fretting at the conversation between Nancy and Blossom when—

“Oof!” She collided with a solid something and staggered, her feet stumbling on the stones as she caught her balance and the bag of rice before it fell to the ground and burst open. Once she was certain it was under control she sighed and looked up.

“I’m t-terribly sorry, princess.” Vishnal was bowing low, red faced and stammering with embarrassment.

“Oh, it’s you, Vishnal.” She said quietly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry about that.”

“N-no no, it was entirely my fault.” He insisted, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” She replied, hoisting up the bag of rice and turning to walk back to the castle.

“Oh, um… Are you going back to the castle? Perhaps I could… c-carry that f-for you?” He offered in a nervous flutter of hands. His earnest, pleading face was so entreating she sighed and relented without a fight.

“Sure, thanks.” She smiled slightly, and handed the rice bag into his waiting arms. They walked side by side through the town toward the castle at its center without a word for a block or two before he began to try at some small talk.

“S-so, h-how has the harvest been?” He ventured nervously. _Why_ was he so uneasy around her? At any given time when in his presence, she found it either tiresome or unnerving. It really was impossible to be at ease when speaking to another person who was so completely _not_ at ease around her.

“Good. With Bado’s help the work goes pretty fast.” She said, somewhat distractedly. Her gaze distant, she had gone back to him in her mind… once again tallying the days. Three nights left until the new moon. Earlier that morning her mouth had fallen open as he greeted her when she stepped into the barn. At a glance, he barely looked wolfish at all anymore. The closer the new moon got, the more his return to the form of a man accelerated. Only his pointed wolf’s teeth, the slight gray tinge to the skin of his hands and feet, and the just-a-little-too-wild hair and beard that dominated his features more than usual remained to hint at the monster curse.

He had been standing there, his shirt in his hand, bare chested having just risen and bathed himself with a few splashes of water to his face, hands and feet from the water barrels in the corner of the room. The thick, dark hair forming a dense row down the center of his abdomen as well as the abundance of it across his upper chest hadn’t shrunk or fallen out during his gradual transformation. With a start she had realized he actually _was_ a rather hairy man just by nature. Something about the sight of him like this pulled the breath out of her. She stared at him, unblinking. Perhaps some would find his scruffy, rough visage less than appealing, but in that moment the sight struck her rather differently…

“Ah…” Vishnal’s stiff, awkward acknowledgment snapped Frey back to reality and out of remembering the image of the half-dressed, broad-shouldered dwarf camping out in her monster barn. Now that he looked mostly dwarf again, the whole notion seemed rather silly, even scandalous to an outsider, she imagined. But here, the young butler was reminding her with his uneasy glances that even those who knew the situation well found it uncomfortable to think of. She sighed.

“Nevermind. I know you don’t want to talk about him.” She heard herself sound dismissive and tired. Vishnal winced.

“It isn’t that I don’t care what happens to him, princess. I just don’t think—“

“Yeah, I know. Decency and inappropriate proximity and without a chaperone and so on and so on.” She waved a hand. “You all just repeat yourselves about it every time it’s brought up, but I’m not going to leave him to deal with this all alone. It doesn’t matter what you say.” They had just reached the castle and stopped by the door to the east wing where her quarters were.

“I-I’m sorry…” The young butler seemed to soften for a beat, but a vigor seized him shortly after. “Princess Frey, I hope you know I only worry because I care quite a lot about what happens to _you_.” Frey stopped short, turned and looked at him, blinking in surprise.

His face was rapidly turning a bold crimson and he clutched, white-knuckled, at the bag of rice in his arms. Having gone so far already, he seemed to steel himself, drawing a breath to speak again. Frey waited, transfixed, to hear what he would say next.

“I, um… well… P-princess! A young lady like yourself mustn’t be so familiar with a man Bado’s age. That much is just common social norms.” She frowned, furrowing her brow. “But—“ He said quickly, quieting her before she opened her mouth to object again. “The reason it has troubled _me_ so greatly… is because… b-because… _I_ wish to be closer to you… so it’s been… unpleasant—“ he swallowed hard. “T-to see you spend so much time alone with him… I-I’ve been worried.”

“Worried?” She repeated, confused.

“W-well… Yes.” He nodded. She shook her head slightly.

“What were you worried would happen? I already proved he has his own mind and that he wouldn’t attack me.”

“I know… I wasn’t worried about him attacking you…” He said quietly, looking off sideways with a cringing expression. Frey winced with a sudden understanding.

In all the time she had spent with Bado over the last two weeks, it had never occurred to her to fear that he might take advantage of her in _that_ way. Her stomach twisted. Why on earth _had_ she been so confident that she could be intimately close to him, alone and never worry about that. Was she merely naïve?

No… She didn’t know how or why, but she knew absolutely that he would not try to touch her any way she did not wish him to, no matter what. And besides… there was that promise he had asked her to make…

“You know, Vishnal…” She began, smiling wryly. “When he first transformed into a werewolf he was practically rabid and he _did_ attack me then. I knocked him out cold with his own hammer.” Vishnal blinked at her, bewildered. “Don’t you think I’d do that much and worse to him if he tried anything like what you’re imagining.” She raised an eyebrow.

“O-oh… I, um…”

“I know it might not be obvious, to look at me… but I can handle myself. So there’s no reason for you to be worrying. And besides… He isn’t the kind of person who could do a thing like that anyway.” She added, remembering how even in his rogue animal wrath that first night he transformed, he had stopped himself with his teeth at her throat without harming her.

“I see...” He replied “But... It doesn’t really matter whether he’s that kind of man or not…” She looked up at him again with confusion evident in her eyes. “I-I want to b-be the one… the only one who is close to you like that…” He trembled, tense and blushing as he spoke, then he set the bag of rice down next to the wall.

“Vishnal… What are you talking about? You…” She felt herself begin to shake, now. Something akin to panic began to stir in her insides.

“I’m saying… Pri—Frey…” He corrected, mid word. “I…” He was beet-red and shaking as he looked in her face again. “I love you!” He burst out. She stared blankly at him, her breath stopped in her throat.

Several seconds passed. Or was it several minutes? Frey didn’t move. She didn’t blink. She only stood paralyzed as she stared at him. He seemed similarly frozen. Eventually, bereft of an answer or response, his expression grew frantic and his mouth twitched.

“Y-you don’t… well… I-I wanted to tell you e-either way, so…” The weighty disappointment of rejection was beginning to settle onto him, judging by the way his whole being seemed to shudder, about to break…

“Vishnal… I—“ She choked.

What the hell was he saying? They both lived at the castle, sure, but she barely knew him… They had barely spent any time together, only passing one another and interacting incidentally because of their overlapping lives. She did not love him. How could she? How could _anyone_ say they _loved_ someone they had never been close to at all?

But that look… That terrified, horribly vulnerable, _devastated_ expression. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t deal that blow on someone already so full of suffering.

“I… I h-have to think about this.” She stammered out, grabbing up the bag of rice and dashing inside the castle, careful not to see the young butler’s face as she fled.


	22. His Silver Lining

Frey dropped the bag of rice by the door and kept walking, right through her room and out the back door to the farm lands behind the castle. Dusk was falling and the light waned with a bloody pink and red sunset somewhere beyond the tree line. Above, a pale waning sliver of a moon gleamed weakly in the darkening sky.

She stumbled across the field in the dying light, numbly seeking the comfort she had grown accustomed to. Upon reaching the barn, tears spilled over her eyelids and down her cheeks.

Inside, bathed in the golden glow of a flickering lantern, Bado turned to see her and his features flickered into a fearful mask of shock and concern.

“Frey!” He dashed over to her and she let herself fall into his arms, leaning against him and hiccupping as she cried. “Frey, what’s wrong?” He asked in a voice full of worry.

“V-vishnal… H-he…” She stammered, her slender arms wrapped around his big sturdy frame and his thick ones binding her tightly to him in return.

“Calm down, little one.” He said coaxingly, stroking her head. “Take a deep breath and tell me what happened. I’m here for you. I won’t let anything hurt you.” She sobbed into his shirt and took a long shuddering breath, willing herself to slow down. After a few breaths, she felt her heart gradually cease its heavy pounding. “That’s it…” He murmured gently. “Now… tell me what’s happened, Frey…” She pulled back and looked up at him, her face bent in anguish.

“Vishnal… Just told m-me he l- _loves_ me!” She said all at once. A spasm seemed to pass through him. Several emotions flickered through his features, almost perfectly his own original self in appearance. She blinked at him, forgetting her worries for a moment as she puzzled over what she had seen in him.

Surprise… that much was expected. She herself had been immensely shocked to hear those words. But the first emotion after the shock that had crossed his expression… What _was_ that? A flinch… a bolt of apprehension… resentment? Whatever it was, only a feeling uncomfortable and unwanted could have given his features _that_ kind of cast. Now though… Now he looked amused, sympathetic, affectionate…

“What?” He chuckled. “ _That’s_ what’s got you so upset?” She frowned at him.

“Don’t make fun of me!” She pouted, stung in her very heart. He blinked, and his features softened again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just, I thought you were going to tell me someone hurt you or something.” He smiled sheepishly. “You really had me worried.” She looked at him, stunned silent. He had shared a great deal of affection with her voluntarily since he had become a werewolf, but it was all physical. And what he had said about it was that he wanted to repay her. This was the first time he had expressed openly a deep concern for her in and of itself. Her face warmed.

“You were worried about me?” She heard her own voice, faint and fragile.

“Well, Yeah! Of Course I was!” He laughed aloud. “We are friends, after all. And close friends too, if you’re first reaction to something you’re upset about is to run to me.” He smiled sympathetically at her.

“R-right…” She squeaked.

“So, I take it you don’t like him that way?” He said with raised eyebrows. Was she imagining the relief in his voice? She had to be… or perhaps he was becoming protective of her, like his wolf-self was before he had remembered himself.

“I… I don’t _love_ him, at least… I told him I have to think about it.” She replied, watching his face for his oddly subtle and mixed reactions.

“I see.” He said, still smiling slightly. “So you didn’t run here crying because you said no and you both got upset?”

“He… I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell him no… he looked like he’d be so crushed…”

“But, you don’t want to date him?”

“I d-don’t know! I haven’t really thought about dating anyone, yet. I just… Don’t feel comfortable with starting with ‘I love you’.”

“No?”

“No. How would I even know if I loved him… We’re just acquaintances. We both live at the castle and I see him every day… but he’s always been so jumpy around me so I’ve never really spent time with him… How can he say he loves me?”

Bado closed his eyes and sighed, but his mouth was still curved upward at the corners.

“Love is a complicated word, little one.” He looked at her with another complex expression in his eyes, undecipherable. She looked up at him like one looking hopefully at the stars to find their way out of a featureless desert.  

“It… is?”

“Yes…” His deep, rich voice was gentle and smooth, and he was looking down at her with softened eyes. It’s just one little word… only four letters. But it can mean the affection of a parent and child, or of siblings or cousins. And, it can mean infatuation too, which is probably what’s up with Vishnal. What he feels is probably very real and true to him. A powerful attraction and a whole mess of wanting…” She blinked up at him. Something like a veil seemed to obscure the depth of his eyes from her.

“I… don’t know what that’s like…” She said meekly.

“You’ve never been infatuated?”

“I guess I haven’t… I can’t relate to what you’re describing…”

“So I guess you’ve never had a boyfriend either?”

“Well… Not one I can remember, exactly… but I think I have.” His eyes widened briefly.

“Oh?” His voice never lost that gentle tone.

“It’s… not quite remembering… since I _can’t_ remember… but I know what it feels like to kiss someone…”

“Hmm.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe you don’t fall in love that way, then.” That soft smile was directed at her again. She looked at him in confusion, waiting for more. “But many people do, Frey. Infatuation is a common way for relationships to start, when it’s mutual.”

“Oh…” She looked down, but one of his big hands, not quite free of the gray tinge of his semi-transformed self, touched gently under her chin and raised her gaze back up in line with his.

“Why does that make you sad? Why were you crying when you came to me?” The smoothness of his voice made it impossible not to trust him. She spilled everything she thought without hesitation to this man, and he was the person she had run to, after all.

“I don’t know what to do, Bado. How can I go back and break his heart. I don’t dislike him, but It scares me… I don’t know what to do with his feelings, when I don’t feel the same…” She fretted and looked pleadingly at him, her compass.

“Well, another meaning Love carries is the love between friends who trust each other and grow close.” He said gently. A jolt went up her back and she swallowed. Was he saying… “And sometimes romantic love can be born from that too. Maybe _that_ ’ _s_ more like how it works for you, instead of being based on infatuation first.” He added. She let her breath out, surprising herself that she had been holding it.

“Do you want a boyfriend, Frey? Or, just… a relationship?” Now his voice sounded cautious. Perhaps he was treading lightly to avoid making her uncomfortable.

“I… don’t know…” She said honestly as she tried to feel out her own motivations. “I definitely want to have someone I can be close with, like you and I are… and, well… I suppose something more…” She trailed off, nervously twirling a strand of her long, pale green hair around her finger.

“You _can_ date someone without saying you love them at the beginning, you know.” He said, smirking at her.

“W-what?”

“Of course, you should never ever feel like you _have_ to date a guy just because he is interested in you… but if you _want_ to try and see if you could eventually love him, or if you just want to have some fun together, you could try dating Vishnal.”

“B-but he already said he loves me.”

“Yeah… As long as you explain your feelings and what you are up for clearly to him, it’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, because love only brings people suffering when they mistake one kind for another… or when it isn’t reciprocated.” She winced. “You said, ‘how could I know if I love him’, right? Maybe you need to try being together with him to find out?”

It _sounded_ reasonable enough… And it was certainly an answer to her current dilemma. Relief started to wash over her, but something else was there too. A very slight twinge of something… disappointment? But why?

“If you’re clear and honest with him from the beginning, I think he’ll be okay with it. He can’t expect you to feel the same as he does, but I bet he’d be happy knowing you’re willing to see what might happen. He’s a good kid, after all. A bit gullible, but good all the same.” He winked at her.

“There you go talking like you’re old, again. You may have helped raise Forte and Kiel, but thirty six is not old enough to be calling people my age ‘kid’, you know.” She smirked back at him.

“Huh.” He replied with a little mischief bubbling up. “You’re still not done with those sneaky little compliments of yours, huh?”

“You’re only as old as you feel, Bado.” She said, nodding decisively.

“And what if I _feel_ old?”

“Then you’re only as old as _I_ say you are.” She furrowed her brow at him, folding her arms. He threw back his head and laughed, openmouthed. The cruel, pointed canines of the wolf were still twisting the character of his own teeth, though the effect was beginning to lessen.

“You’re legitimately crazy, aren’t you?” He bent a crooked smile at her to go along with his jibe.

“I must be.” She returned. “I’m accepting love advice from a werewolf.” He chuckled again. She stepped close and spread her arms again, pleading for a hug with her eyes. His eyes softened again and he granted her a squeeze from his thick arms, pulling her close, pressed against his broad chest. She sighed contentedly against him. If having a boyfriend were half as nice as the physically affectionate support she had in this lycanthropic dwarf, it could be worth all the awkwardness of trying to answer Vishnal’s wishes without exactly answering his feelings, yet.

“Oh, but Frey…” He said suddenly. They broke apart and he looked down at her with concern in his eyes. “Sometimes people… and guys especially… mistake the one other meaning of ‘love’… that is, _lust_ , specifically… for infatuation or romantic affection. It often goes with them, but it _is_ different.”

“Am I having the sex talk with a werewolf, now?” She smirked wryly at him again. He caught up her hands and squeezed them.

“Just promise me you _will_ say no to a guy if he wants something from you that you don’t feel comfortable giving to him… okay?” The smirk fell off her face and she stared at him, surprised.

“O-okay… I promise.” She said in a small voice, looking unblinkingly into his eyes… searching for meaning. Why was he so concerned about this?

“Good.” He let his breath out, looking rather relieved, himself.

“Bado…” She called quietly.

“Yeah?” He looked curiously at her.

“Thank you… for worrying about me.” She smiled at him. “You really make me feel… special, I guess… like I have plenty of value, just as I am.”

“What?” He cried, “Of _course_ you do, silly girl.” He lifted her right off her feet and squeezed her to him again. “Don’t go losing sight of that. I won’t stand for you underestimating what a gem you are, Frey.”

“You really think so?” She breathed with some difficulty. His embrace was squeezing the air out of her lungs a bit. But her surprise at his suddenly well-articulated affectionate feelings toward her made her eager for elaboration.

“What are you talking about? You were the only one who really cared what I was going through in the moment, rather than focusing exclusively on a cure for some obscure day in the future. You were the one who saw through the skin of the monster and found me in there. I… can never thank you enough, Frey. You’ve treated me with care and loyalty since the day I became a werewolf… and you’ve been the only one…”

“Bado…” She breathed his name, stunned nearly silent by this sudden outpour of feelings. He was in quite a sharing mood today…

“Speaking of which, though… You think I could increase the store’s profits by advertising that it’s the only smithy in Norad run by a werewolf?” He added with a bright, mischievous gleam in his blue-gray eyes.

‘Jeeze, you really know how to wreck a moment, don’t you?’ She thought, smiling ruefully at him

“That or it might scare off the few people who are still willing to buy from you.”

“Nah, you really think so? I think it could be a hit! Then maybe I can make my shop a tourist destination!”

She sighed, shaking her head.

“You’re impossible. You know that?”

“What?” He gestured disarmingly. “I’m just looking for the silver lining! Get on board with me, here, Frey!” She laughed and smiled broadly at him.

‘Being close with you like this… that’s the silver lining.’ She thought.


	23. His Advice Applied

Frey stood stiffly outside Vishnal’s room, one hand raised and fisted to knock on the door, but she didn’t move to complete the motion. Instead, she bit her lip.

‘Just do it. You know what to say. You know what to do.’ She thought determinedly. Having spoken with Bado at length, she was reconciled to her course of action and even a little excited to see how it would play out. Somewhere at the back of her mind, doubts still lingered, though. There was a slight sense of unease or impending regret, likely just apprehension about what might come should she find she really didn’t like being partnered with the young butler.

Having Bado’s assurance behind her felt right. It gave her an optimistic conviction hitherto unknown to her. Perhaps it was because whatever came of this experimental try at a relationship, she could surely expect to have the tall dwarf’s continued support and affection if the outcome were bad. With such a charm to hold tight, what did she have to fear?

The wood of the door was solid, but the sound of her knuckles rapping against it echoed in the room all around her. A minute or so passed with no answer. She sighed. Clorica had already informed her that Vishnal had retreated to his room, neglecting his duties in a most uncharacteristic fashion since earlier that afternoon. She knocked again.

“Vishnal! It’s me, Frey.” She called through the door. Two heartbeats later the door swung open suddenly. All at once Frey found herself nearly nose-to-nose with the young butler. His vivid violet irises startling her with their wide-eyed surprise. She blinked rapidly and jumped back. “O-oh! Sorry!” She stammered.

“Frey… You came?” He said breathlessly. The rims of his widened eyes were red and puffy.

“Um, yes. I came to give you my answer.” She said hurriedly. He stiffened, a hopeful gleam in his expression.

“O-oh. Well, come in, then.” She drew a deep breath and entered the room as he held the door open and gestured for her to come in. Once he had let the door close, she turned around and met his expectant look with a flutter in her stomach.

“I… well, I can’t say what you said to me earlier…” She began, hastily adding as his expression began to fall into disappointment: “But, that’s only because I don’t feel like I know you very well, yet. I’m finding out I’m just not the type to fall in love without being close to someone first.”

“S-so…” He stammered in a cracked voice.

“So…” She continued, taking another steadying breath. “I want to find out. I want to go out with you, Vishnal, and see where this leads.”

The young, slender butler seemed suddenly to grow electrified with joy. His violet eyes lit up and his pale blue hair almost seemed to stand out at the roots as he pulled in a huge draft of air and a giddy smile grew upon his features.

“Y-you mean it? You’ll m-my—“

“Girlfriend.” She finished helpfully, smirking in spite of herself. His delight was contagious it seemed.

“Oh, _princess_!” He breathed, enraptured. “I had given up hope that you would agree to—I am so _happy_!” He opened his arms and gazed on her with nothing but joy in his face.

Frey hesitated a moment in the face of this invitation. Whenever Bado offered her his embrace she practically flew into his thick, muscular arms, eager at all times for the intimate comfort of him pressed against her. Why was this contact an uncertain matter for her now, with her admirer? She quickly forced the internal question down and tentatively stepped forward into the much smaller open arms of the young butler. Somewhat awkwardly, they negotiated their limbs around one another and held each other experimentally. Frey felt her cheeks flush and as they parted again after a few moments she saw Vishnal was blushing profusely, too.

“I promise I will make you happy. I’ll do everything in my power! Anything for you, princess!” His voice grew louder and larger as he made his proclamation. A slight exasperation seized her and she gestured placatingly at him to calm down and listen to her.

“Easy, there, Romeo.” She smirked, tickled by his enthusiasm despite her determination to temper it. “I want to give this a chance and I hope it turns out well for us, but I have to be honest with you: I don’t know that I _will_ fall in love with you.”

“O-of course. I’m sorry for getting overexcited.” He said hurriedly, bowing halfway.

“As long as you understand that, I’m excited too.” She allowed. He smiled widely again.

“Yes, princess.”

“Why do you always call me that?” She sighed, still smiling slightly, to soften her frustration. “You _know_ I’m not royalty…”

“I-I know, but… It’s kind of always been a fantasy of mine to love a princess…” He said abashedly, turning even more crimson than before. She blinked at him.

“Well, I suppose that is a somewhat better reason than I had guessed…” She acquiesced to his use of the term on the basis that she loved to see others’ wishes fulfilled and this was a rather easy one to grant. “But you should know,” She added, “I do not let other’s call me that right and left.”

Vishnal beamed, having gleaned from this statement only that she had accorded him a special privilege offered to no one else. She gave one more exasperated but happy sigh and squeezed his hand in hers.

“Well at least it pleases you.” He ceased his star struck gaze after a moment and his expression turned thoughtful.

“But, princess…” He said slowly. “When I told you I love you earlier today… you looked so… Well I didn’t expect you to agree to be with me after you looked at me like _that_ , anyway. …So, what changed your mind?”

“Bado did.” She answered simply, having no reason, she thought, to withhold such information. Vishnal looked at her with a combination of astonishment and possibly indignation. She couldn’t quite be sure.

“B-bado?” He repeated incredulously. “But what on Earth has he got to do with it?”

“He encouraged me to think about trying out a relationship with you and find out whether I like you that way. I was just surprised and scared earlier, but he calmed me down and talked to me about it until I felt better.” She explained in reasonable tones. Vishnal only stared at her in wide-eyed shock. “What’s the matter?” She asked in a puzzled manner after a few moments.

“I-I just never thought I’d have _him_ to thank for your willingness to try this with me, that’s all.” The butler’s voice was nervous, now.

“Oh, and why’s that?” She asked with genuine curiosity. Having befriended him both as monster and man and cared for him during the rough uncertain days first following his initial transformation, it seemed unfathomable to Frey that Bado would appear to be anything other than a gentle, careful sort when it came to others’ feelings and wellbeing. She was truly puzzled by the reluctance others seemed to show in viewing him the way she was ever inclined to.

“W-well, I suppose bec-cause…” He attempted to articulate himself, but it was clumsy with his anxious air. “You’ve spent s-so much time with him lately, I just assumed…”

“You assumed what?” She coaxed him to continue.

“I assumed he had, well… _designs_ on you by now.” Everything about him squirmed as he admitted this impression. She laughed lightly.

“Hardly. He actually made me promise that I _didn’t_ have any such interest in _him_.” Vishnal blinked. Perhaps he had heard it, too; the almost imperceptible hint of a bitter tone in her voice. She shook off the nagging little voice in the back of her mind. She was well past that notion, anyhow…

But no, Vishnal had only been surprised to hear that the blacksmith had extracted such a promise from her at all.

“I suppose I have misjudged his intentions this whole time.” He laughed nervously. Frey gave him a coolly triumphant look, as if to say ‘I told you so’ in the most pointed way possible with only her eyes and the slight smirk playing about her mouth. She did not give voice to this gloat, however. Her own brow had curved anxiously, now.

“Vishnal… I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings by running off like that earlier. I was just so surprised… and overwhelmed.”

“I know… I shouldn’t have sprung that on you so suddenly.” He replied, looking down ruefully but without losing the smile that had clung to his features ever since her acceptance. “But let’s not dwell on that. What would you like to do, now?”

“Now?” She repeated, blinking rapidly and blushing. She hadn’t thought farther than explaining herself and her feelings. What did he want her to _do_ now, other than that?

“Yes, _now_ that we’re together!” He laughed lightheartedly. “What shall we do as a couple?”

“W-well, I suppose we should go on a… well a date.” They both jumped slightly at the word. _Why_ was she acting like a jittery little schoolgirl? Frey railed in her mind. True she couldn’t remember any details, but she had the distinct impression she _had_ gone out with someone before. She had a boyfriend at some point before her dramatic and hazardous entrance into Selphia. So why was this so unnerving? So completely exciting and embarrassing all at once?

Vishnal, Meanwhile, was fidgeting with everything his fingertips could fix themselves on: The buttons of his coat, the end of his tie, his hair… He looked even more like a giddy, giggling little girl than she felt. She concluded with a firm conviction that her own excitable state must have been merely a mirror of his  extremely exuberant response.

‘What on Earth is it going to be like to try and _kiss_ him, I wonder.’ She thought to herself with an inward laugh. The young man could not hold still a moment, so nervous and elated was he. ‘He’ll probably shoot through the roof!’

“A d-date, yes. Certainly!” He stuttered, nodding furiously.

“Where should we go?” She asked evenly, actively trying now to manage her own excitement and be more even-keeled. “And when?”

“Oh, well how about Porcoline’s restaurant? Perhaps tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sur—oh…” Frey stopped short with a startled, guilty expression halfway through her agreement.

“What’s the matter? Is tomorrow not good for you?” He looked apologetic, quite without need. “We can go the next day, then.”

“I, um… No, I think tomorrow would probably be okay. As long as… it isn’t for _too_ long…” She said vaguely. Tomorrow was the eve of the new moon. Bado was doing well now, nearly all himself in appearance. It felt odd and wrong somehow to expect him to stay in the barn or in her fields, but he also did not have permission from the divine dragon to leave the castle grounds yet. Nevertheless, though she knew he would be safe and provided for she did not like to leave him on his own in case he should begin to brood on his unfortunate situation.

“O-okay. If you’re sure.” Vishnal said, very tentatively.

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’m still looking after Bado so I have to sort of plan around that.” She explained.

“I thought Clorica said he looks just like his old self by now.”

“Yes, he is very nearly a dwarf, all except his teeth and one or two other things.” She agreed.

“Then… why do you still need to look after him?”

“Well… he is in all likelihood going to start to shift back to wolf once the new moon passes. Just because he looks like a man now doesn’t mean he has stopped being a werewolf. At least that is how I understand it from what Ventuswill and Kiel have relayed.” Her tone was very reasonable and mild.

“But, surely since it is so near to the new moon, this is the time when he can do the most to take care of himself? Without your assistance?” The butler ventured.

In her mind, Bado’s words came back to Frey. She recalled how he had hugged her tightly and called her a gem, asserting that she was the only person that had faithfully stuck by him and worried over what he was going through and feeling while he had been transformed.

“Well… there is a lot to it that you can’t see. Even though he may look like a man in perfect health at the moment does not mean he is at ease in his mind or his heart. I need to be there for him and support him throughout this ordeal.” She said all this slow and measured, thinking carefully before she gave voice to her thoughts. Vishnal paused a long moment before returning:

“I suppose I have to ask again, though: Why _you_?” She had an answer for this question even before it left his lips.

“Because I am his friend. It is that simple.” She replied serenely.

“I see.” Vishnal replied. “But you know, most young women would not—“

“I am well aware it is an unconventional friendship.” She said suddenly, cutting off his cautious tone but without any bite in her voice.

“Right…” He sighed, his buoyant spirits somewhat deflated.

“I really don’t understand why you all aren’t more sympathetic to Bado. He’s been through a lot lately and lost everything that constituted ‘normal’ in his day to day life.” She said, finally letting a little frustration sound in her voice.

“Oh, please don’t mistake me.” He hurried to say, holding up his hands in a conciliatory fashion. “It is not that his situation does not move me, princess, it’s just… I have been so very concerned _you_ being involved in it…” He pleaded with her in his eyes to understand and speak warmly to him again. She sighed, letting the matter drop. It seemed she would never get anyone to consider Bado’s feelings rather than fearing for her own.

“Well, let’s not dwell on it. I’ll meet you in town square at noon tomorrow and we’ll go to the restaurant together, okay?” She said, recovering the brightness of a few minutes ago to bolster her voice.

“I shall be counting the minutes until then!” He returned, beaming at her with still-blushing cheeks.

Frey laughed in resigned exasperation. He certainly was excited.


	24. Old Habits and Homesickness

“I want to go home.” The words shot through Frey like a shock of electricity.

“Oh… Of course.” She said, a little breathlessly. She had come back to the barn to tell him about her newly founded relationship with the young butler, but hadn’t had the opportunity to do any more than relay the simple fact of it without elaboration. As if he had been waiting with grudging patience ever since she had last left him, he blurted out this statement and then winced as he saw her face flicker from shock to concern and hurt.

Of course he wanted to leave. Of course he wanted to go back. He hadn’t ever intended that day when he stood up and followed her out of the Meanderer into the woods on the South trail that he shouldn’t return. It made all the sense in the world and she knew she would be foolish to expect anything else. Yet, still… It still hurt to have him so abruptly declare an intention to leave. No matter how well she knew and understood that he must leave sometime, it could not help but hurt.

His own face flickered from embarrassment to apology.

“I—I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m ungrateful. It’s just…”

“I know…” She interrupted him. “You don’t have to explain.” Her eyes had turned down to the floor, but she heard his footsteps approaching… and felt his presence drawing close even before his big hands came to rest on her shoulders. She did not look up, biting her lip silently.

“Hey…” He said very quietly. The fingertips of a hand not quite free of the black, slightly pointed nails and gray padded palms touched gently beneath her chin, coaxing her gaze upward. “You’ll come with me, right? I’m in your charge still, after all. For as long as the moon is my master, you’re my keeper. Isn’t that right?” She smiled, partly in spite of her own determination not to expect anything unreasonable, and partly because she was comforted by this roundabout promise not to leave without coming back.

“You’re making it sound entirely too poetic, you know.” He smiled in return to this jibe.

“Come with me, then, keeper.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now. I should go find out if my store is still standing, since I can pass for an ordinary man like this.” He tugged a pair of worn leather gloves from the things she and Vishnal had taken from the garrison from his belt and pulled them on over his still uncanny hands.

“Just be careful not to give yourself away with those wolf’s teeth.” She warned with an eyebrow raised. He had been smiling around the longish pointed canines, but at this comment made an effort to close his lips over them. It was an awkwardly restrained expression now, but his eyes were still participating in the true smile, creased at the corners with those ever-present crow’s feet.

“Better?” He said, careful not to open his mouth enough to show the pointed canines.

“Sure.” She said sarcastically with a shake of her head. “Let’s go, then. But first we have to talk to Venti.” He nodded and without another word held the door open for her. The odd pair traversed the farmlands behinds Selphia’s castle in silence, walking side by side. Frey looked sidelong at her strange companion. His big hands were covered by the gloves and jammed into his pockets. His dark hair was untidy and ruffled this way and that, and his beard still looked somewhat wild. The plain off-white of the cotton shirt that stretched across his broad chest was dusty with the soil of the fields they had worked together over the last fortnight. Altogether he made a rather rugged figure, an idealized piece of someone’s rustic fantasy, perhaps.

His gaze suddenly slid sideways and landed on her. She blushed and looked away in a hurry. A little huff of a laugh escaped him.

“Hey, now. You promised not to fall for me, remember? Don’t be sneaking glances. Your new boyfriend won’t like _that_.” He teased. She could have spat. How could he make fun of something that had vexed and troubled her ever since the day it occurred?

“Your sense of humor is pretty disagreeable sometimes, mutt.” She grumbled.

“Heh. Yeah, I get that a lot.” He returned, with an apparently careless air.

That promise… Why would he bring it up as a joke now? He was the one who made her swear it in the first place. Why keep reminding her of it? What did he have to gain by embarrassing her again and again?

“I _am_ going out with Vishnal, now. I’ve kept that promise you insisted on.” She said coolly. He turned to look at her as they walked, a mixture of surprise and something else, not easily interpreted, in his eyes.

“You’re being too serious again.” He murmured, loud enough that she was sure to hear it clearly. She sighed. Talking in riddles again… Obscuring again… Was it really so bad for someone to be able to know his heart for any length of time? Frey wondered if she had ever known anyone like this man before she had lost her memory. Not that she would ever know for sure, but maybe… if she had some experience with this nonsense before, she might know what to do with him _now_. She looked straight ahead, letting the matter drop. After all, she thought, this was hardly likely to be the last time it was brought up. That battle could wait for another time.

They passed through the back entrance to the dragon hall and made their way around the enormous dragon altar on which Ventuswill the divine wind sat placidly until they were directly in front of her.

“Ah, good afternoon.” The huge reptilian head with its crest of colorful feathers bobbed and her dark eyes gleamed as she stared intently at the dwarven blacksmith.

“Good afternoon, Milady.” Bado said formally. Frey looked at him suddenly. She had never heard him speak in honorifics sincerely before.

“And how are you feeling?” The dragon lowered her head to his level and looked very piercingly at him, her gaze flicking over his entire body.

“I do very well, milady. Aside from an annoyingly strong appetite and a few little vestiges of the wolf’s body (here he indicated his long canines by way of opening his mouth for her.) I feel as though I have never been anything but an ordinary dwarf.” At this, Ventuswill raised her head abruptly and snorted.

“Who do you think you are saying such nonsense to, huh?” She said testily. Frey blinked in surprise and saw Bado flinch out of the corner of her eye as if the dragon had cuffed him lightly on the head. “It is one thing if you mean to hide your nature from the townspeople but _I_ knew you before your self-imposed exile into obscurity. You have never been an ordinary dwarf, Bado.” Frey dropped all pretense and stared openly at her companion in mild astonishment. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, can you blame me for wishfully thinking you’d let me forget all that?” He grumbled, losing the formality that had bent his tone before.

“Yes.” Ventuswill said unsympathetically. “You had far better face yourself. I hope you do not intend to pretend you are something other than what you are in this case, too. After all, if you cannot embrace your nature how can you expect others, unless they be remarkable in their own right, (she glanced meaningfully at Frey) to accept you?”

“I’m not really worried about it. They can hate me if they like.” He returned quietly, but not without an air of defiance. Ventuswill flattened her plumes irritably and glared at him. Frey felt a very uncomfortable pang in her heart, hoping bitterly that ‘they’ did not include her.

“I had hoped you would have learned to temper that foolish stubborn streak of yours by now.” The dragon shook her head ruefully. “But perhaps you are not altogether hopeless… “ Her tone grew more optimistic as she turned her attention to Frey. As the enormous, glossy eyes of the divine dragon came to rest on her, Frey could not help but feel that the dragon could see right through her down to the last hidden emotions that she denied even to herself. She swallowed. The skin at the corners of the dragon’s eyes crinkled in a silent laugh.

“We came because I wish to return home and see to my shop for the afternoon.” Bado said with an air of forced patience. Ventuswill did not turn her gaze from the princess, her mind working plainly behind her eyes as if she were reading a very interesting passage in a book. Frey squirmed inwardly. “—and came to collect your permission to do so.” He added, tilting his head to try and coax her attention back to him. Ventuswill finally did turn back to him with a slightly condescending air.

“Then go.” She said shortly. The blacksmith winced backward in surprise. A satisfied expression began to settle over the divine dragon’s expression. “I know very well you have only ever obeyed my orders when it suits you to do so. Why hang upon my permission now?”

“Milady, I swore an oath of service to you when I first came to Selphia. Just because I am no longer your knight does not mean I have lost all respect.” Bado spoke stiffly, now.

“And if I were to order you to place yourself under the supervision of Volkanon and cease to trouble my princess with your bull-headedness… Am I to understand you would _not_ make some excuse to see her again?” She looked sly and wholly unforgiving as she spoke this last bit with a cutting edge in her voice.

Frey tried to force her eyes away from the tall dwarf standing beside her, but even so she felt him turn hurriedly to look at her, a reflex he either could not help or did not trouble to suppress. Then he wrenched his gaze off her again and frowned wordlessly up at the divine dragon.

Ventuswill threw her great head back and laughed aloud. When she had finished with this explosion of triumphant mirth, she looked back down at Bado and spoke in a victorious tone.

“It is good to know you are still unwilling to lie directly to my face.” She said coolly. “Yes, I give my permission for you to visit your home whenever you like on the condition that you must go in the company of princess Frey, here.” She inclined her head toward Frey. “I depend on her to report on your progress and keep you in check.”

Bado stared up at the dragon with a surprised and suspicious expression, as if she had just given him a particularly delectable confection and he was trying very hard to determine whether to suspect her of having drugged it or not. Frey was bending all her effort in showing as little of the odd flurry of emotion inside her as possible, but she knew the warmth in her cheeks probably meant she was blushing in a painfully obvious fashion.

“Well, then. Thank you for your support.” Bado said cautiously, half-bowing to the dragon. He turned to face Frey and raised his brow slightly. “Shall we?” She nodded silently, not trusting her voice just yet. He stood looking expectantly at her for a few heartbeats before she realized he was waiting for her to lead them and turned to walk out the door. He paced along close behind her as they walked in silence through the castle courtyard and out into the town square. 


	25. Turnabout is Fair Play

Ventuswill’s strange questioning kept turning over in Frey’s mind. Clearly she had caught him with a query that he could not answer without lying or admitting to a truth he didn’t want known. And that truth, seemed to be that he was as unwilling to let go of her companionship as she was of his. They stepped along in time through the residential district of Selphia on their way to the ‘Meanderer’ Smithy.

Though the castle was far behind them by now, Frey could not stop wondering about the dragon’s question: Would he indeed have struggled and schemed to be with her again even if ordered to keep his distance? Did he wish to be close to her enough that he would risk the anger of the Divine Wind?

As a wolf, his attachment to her had been plain enough. As a wolf, he leapt for joy when she came in the room and pounced on her and licked her face. If that was still the same heart as what beat in his chest as a man, as Kiel suggested it was, then those feelings were still part of him now, weren’t they? It was so hard to tell. As a man he was always half-hidden. As a man he was forever disguising himself and shielding his heart on some level.

Finally, Frey turned to look at him, unable to stifle her curiosity any longer. He was frowning silently as he stared into the distance ahead of him, clearly not perceiving the gentle, peaceful ambiance of the town as he went. What were the wheels in his head turning on, just now? She thought she had a pretty good idea, but didn’t dare attempt to call it out. Then, amid all the other concerns and thoughts, sympathy arose again. Say and do what he might, somehow this overlarge man with his unruly dark hair and his blue-gray eyes always stirred her heart to gentle affection.

“Hey.” She called quietly. He did not appear to notice. She reached out, grasped one of his gloved hands swinging at his sides as they walked and called his name. “Bado.” Her voice and touch reached him and he startled slightly, looking at her with a disbelieving breed of surprise written on his face. His eyes slid down to her hand wrapped around his. He pulled his hand quickly from her grasp and looked around in a hurry. No one appeared to have seen. There wasn’t even a familiar face amongst the adjacent passerby. They were only tourists or new residents.

Frey did not bother to hide the disappointment and pain in her eyes as she continued to stare at his face. No matter how well she understood that others might not look well on her oddly intimate friendship with the town blacksmith, it hurt to know he was so unwilling to risk anyone else knowing about it. As he looked into her eyes and saw this tumult of unhappy feelings, his own eyes widened slightly and the silver still lacing his irises flashed in the cold late-autumn sunlight. His brow curved anxiously but she had turned away already, walking steadily toward the meanderer without looking at him.

Over and over, she scolded herself. For expecting something unrealistic, for prizing his attention and affection so highly, and most of all, for letting so much of herself hang on his every word and action. Of course she got her feelings hurt. If she were to walk around blindfolded, she was sure to bumble into something or trip and fall eventually…

Without another word to each other they finally arrived in front of the heavy wooden door of his home and business with its iron handle and hinges and the hammer and anvil sign upon it, with ‘Meanderer’ stamped in old fashioned letters. She did not wait for him but pulled open the door herself. It was never locked. He followed her inside and let the door swing shut.

Frey’s eyes swept around the dusty shop and found it all just as she remembered. On the walls long weapons: swords, axes, spears, hammers, dual blades, and magic staves hung or leaned with some small bit of shelving or hooks supporting them. Everywhere there were not weapons were strange half-disorderly arrangements of odds and ends with no obvious rhyme or reason. A basket of mismatched shoes, three sets of differently shaped glasses on a little shelf, a knee-high statue of a woolly wearing a costume like a knight and bravely brandishing a miniature claymore, and a flowery handbag full of rusting horseshoes hanging on a hook made in the likeness of a scorpion tail… or was it actually a scorpion tail mounted to the wall? All these oddities spurred no second glance or look of surprise from the princess.

For a long time now she had held the thought in her mind that were it not for the huge forge and anvil in the back right corner of the shop, it would be far more accurate to call this place a curiosity shop than a blacksmith shop. Just as she was remembering this notion with a detached, glum expression, a very tentative touch on her left shoulder made her turn.

Despite his determination that he should return the Meanderer to make sure all was in order, the still silvery eyes of the Dwarf did not so much as glance at anything in the room but her. An apprehensive rush of warmth flooded into her face.

‘Don’t…’ She thought. ‘Quit setting yourself up to be disappointed.’

As if he could read this thought word for word, Bado cringed and his shoulders rounded as if trying to withstand the bite of a freezing rain.

“Sorry.” He said, rubbing one arm with the other hand uncomfortably.

“Don’t be.” She said without emotion. “I shouldn’t have touched your hand where people could see us.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk to me like that…” He said quietly, miserably… She blinked in surprise.

“What?”

“Your voice… It flattened out. It’s like you’re forcing yourself not to feel anything at all when you look at me.” He said, his tone saturated with unhappiness. She looked away and fixed her eyes on a hat sitting on top of a ceramic pig in that appeared to be made from the iridescent shell of an insect. Her throat tightened. It was too much to try and say what she was thinking. But in the uncanny way of a charlatan mind reader at a carnival, he guessed at it as though she had spoken the words plain as day

“I get it, now… how it feels when I shut you out. I suppose I deserve it.” He sighed. An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Finally, ready to accept the outcome one way or another, Frey spoke.

“If you were not a werewolf… we would never have grown close, would we?” She heard the sad tones of her own voice, but for once her eyes did not burn. No tears threatened to form and spill down over her face. His face changed from a forlorn grimace to anxiety to pleading, but though his mouth opened  several times to speak, no words formed on his lips.

“As awful as it is that this happened to you because of me, I can’t regret it completely. I’m grateful that this odd circumstance has motivated you to accept my affection at least in private. …but I should have known you do not want to be seen with me. I’ll be more careful in future. I’m sorry.” She finished in resigned tones. He drew a long breath with a miserable expression and sighed it out all at once.

“Aw, hell…” he said in a wretched voice. “I’ve really stepped in it this time, haven’t I?” Her face was impassive. He sighed again and stepped closer to her. She leaned back slightly. One of her feet shifted to take a step back. He stopped, wincing. “I’m sorry, Frey.” He said imploringly, and reached out to grasp one of her hands. Though gloved, his big squareish hand was warm as he gripped her slender fingers gently. “I’m sorry.” He repeated, “Please don’t look at me like that anymore.”

Her resolve began to soften. She looked uncertainly into his eyes and the deep concern there prodded at her heart. He lifted their hands and bent his neck, pressing her pale fingers to his lips. She heard a ghost of her own voice as she pulled in a sudden breath of air. Her heart jumped in her chest. It was not a comfortable sensation, especially when she had only just managed to force down that sort of reaction to him. But, as much as this gesture reignited her warmth to him in this moment, she knew with certainty he would not have done it in front of anyone else.

“You _are_ ashamed to be seen as being intimately close with me, though. That much is clear.” She said quietly, still in carefully numb tones. He shook his head, stroking her hand with his thumb.

“No… Not of you.” He said, barely above a whisper. Her eyes widened with sudden understanding. “I am embarrassed to appear as though I believe I deserve the affection you give me. I would be ashamed to have someone else look at us and wonder what you could possibly be thinking, holding hands with a good-for-nothing like me. You’re far better than I could hope to have for my own, and everyone knows it. There’ll be a world of trouble coming down on your head if people get to thinking we _are_ lovers, Frey. I don’t want to be the cause of any heartache for you.”

She stared at him. What on earth did this mean? Once again he was reminding her carefully of the fact he did not want anyone to think they were lovers, but he sounded now as if he would be elated to have her, only he was so certain she would never agree to be with one such as him, or furthermore that she should not. Despite the dismal perception of himself these words revealed, they also revealed that he thought highly of her as a potential partner; so highly, in fact, that he did not believe himself deserving of her, even if she should offer it. Part of her was strangely buoyed, to hear him say such romantic things… the other half was furious that the forbidden parcel of feelings she had wrapped up and buried were suddenly back, bounding around in her mind like wild horses, impossible to wrangle.

“And…” He continued, still holding onto her hand as if they were both adrift in the ocean and likely to float apart if he should release her. “You are with someone now. That is what you said just before we left, isn’t it? You can’t go around giving pieces of your love to other men. You’ll break his heart.” The deep, rich timber of his voice ached with a half-hidden sadness.

‘But _you_ said I should try dating him! _You_ made me promise not to fall in love with you!’ She wanted to scream the words at him, but her throat was closed again.

“I won’t deny I have enjoyed this up to now, Frey. And I’ll keep my promise to you. I won’t shut you out. But you can’t keep giving me what you should be saving for Vishnal. He looked at her as if he fully expected her to meekly agree and obey this order. A fire of defiance and indignation rose up in her chest. Suddenly her impassive mask shattered.

“I’ll give it to whomever I like!” She shouted. His face shifted to surprise in an instant. She lifted her other hand and jabbed a finger at his chest, making him wince with every beat. “I don’t need your permission to give you ‘pieces of my love’ as you call it. You don’t have to accept any of it but you don’t have the right to tell me who I can and can’t offer my affection to!”

“But… Vish—“ He began, still shocked.

“I do not love him!” She barked. “I agreed to go out with him to find out whether I _could_ fall in love with him, but what’s between you and me came first and I have not made any promise to forsake it, regardless of my relationship with Vishnal. I already made your stupid promise that I wouldn’t try to make _you_ my lover so if you believe I’m as good as my word then why are you so concerned about it? _You_ know that if I hold your hand it does not mean we are lovers.”

“I know but—“ He tried again to answer but again she overrode him.

“You’re a _werewolf_ for crying out loud! I can’t believe you are more worried about people thinking you are my boyfriend than people knowing you are cursed!” Who cares what they think we are to one another? I’m not going back on my promise to stand by you just because of some sideways glances and rumor mongering!” He stared at her, blinking dumbly.

“When you came to me and you were upset that Vishnal had confessed his feeling for you, the thought of crushing his hopes of a relationship with you was terrible to you. That was why you didn’t know what to do, right? Why are you fine with doing what will surely hurt his feelings now that you promised to be with him?”

“I agreed to try dating him, not to withhold affection from everyone else, especially you. If that is what being his girlfriend is meant to signify, I’ll go back to him straight away and explain that I have no such intentions.”

“Of course he’ll expect you to be exclusive to him. That _is_ what it means to—“

“You said I should embrace whatever way I fall in love and form a relationship to someone else. If it is right that I should define my own way of falling in love, why wouldn’t it be fair for me to define what a relationship with me means, as well?” She challenged.

“I’m trying to tell you that if you keep carryin’ on with me the way we’ve been doing that there will be consequences for you!” He began to grow frustrated, now. There was a bite in his voice that spoke of exasperation. She stared hard into his eyes.

“Bado.” She called. He stopped his protestations and stared back into her eyes. “Do you want me to stop?” He froze, several emotions warring in his expression. She watched him closely. “If you truly resent my attentions then say so… tell me you do not want me to touch or hug or speak softly to you and I will stop. Tell me directly, straight to my face that you do not want me to comfort you again, that you’d rather be ordinary friends or even acquaintances from now on, and I will respect your wishes and do as you ask.” He shook his head ever so slightly, the movement barely perceptible.

“I…” He began, but his voice trailed off without actually forming another word. She stared hard into his gray blue eyes lined with silver. She didn’t breath. She didn’t blink. She only threw the full force of her will behind a silent command:

‘Do. Not. Lie. To. Me.’ She thought furiously, feeling the hardness of her gaze on him as though it were a tangible thing she could wrap her hands around. His gaze faltered and he looked away, biting his lip slightly.

“Well?” She demanded. He sighed and shook his head, finally looking back up at her.

“I can’t say so without lying to you, and that is something I will not do.” He swallowed. Everything about him looked like a man on trial. He looked as though he half expected her to ask another question and he was afraid of the truth he would have to return. Frey thought distantly that she had a guess as to what that question was, but she was not about to speak it. She was still uncertain of her own answer and afraid of what his true one might be. No… She was not ready to face either answer to that question yet.

“I know.” She said simply. “I have known every day since the first… that you’ve wanted this.” She tugged on the hand that still wrapped about hers and raised it up to her chest, pressing it over her collarbone with both of her hands and squeezing his fingers in hers. “You said you remember everything from when you were a wolf… so you should know how well I know what you want. I know you are lonely, Bado. I know you want me close…” He raised his eyebrows apprehensively and drew a long breath. She remembered Kiel’s words of assurance and her confidence grew again. “I know what you need, Bado. Please, let me give it to you.”

“Frey…” He said, swallowing again. “Just because you can see me so clearly… that doesn’t mean it needs to be you. You don’t owe me this. You don’t have to be the one…”

“I _want_ to be the one...” She replied, lifting up the hand she still held between hers. She tugged on the fingers of his glove until it came off. Then she traced her fingertips over the tougher than normal pads of his palm and over the hard, dark nails still narrowing to mild points. Then, mimicking his earlier gesture, she pressed the backs of his fingers to her lips, looking up into his eyes as she did so. He wavered, his expression growing uncertain. “Did you manage to forget?” She said with a slight smile. “I am lonely too.” He blinked. “It isn’t just for your sake, after all… I want you close to me as well. So, why shouldn’t it be me?” Bado drew in a breath and licked his lips nervously.

“If you’re lonely then why don’t you go to Vishnal for comfort?” He said reasonably, looking like he did not much want to hear the answer to this question, and hated to ask it.

“I don’t want this from him… I don’t know him. And what’s more… he already has his own agenda for me. He said he loves me, remember? He wants me to be his ‘princess’. He has a vision of what I will be for him and how I will be, too. You’ve never asked me to be anything but what I am right now.” She pointed out. “I trust you Bado. I know what you need and I want to give it to you, and I’m asking you to accept it and return the favor, too. Don’t make me say it over and over. If you would let yourself believe it you’d already know that this _is_ what I want.”

“You are a stubborn one, aren’t you?” He said very quietly. “Very well, then. I can’t say no to you, Frey… So… You need to be very careful what you ask me for.” At this he bore her another of his complicated expressions. A little smile teased one side of his mouth, but his eyes looked helpless and a bit defeated. Longing was there, holding hands with reluctance, but amid it all she thought she detected part of his spirit growing lighter, happier…

“I’ll be careful.” She said softly, squeezing his hand again and pulling him closer. She delicately wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him, letting her nose and mouth press against his clothing and her eyes flutter closed. His thick arms folded around her in return and he squeezed her gently. The steady thumping of his heartbeat echoed through her as Frey savored this moment full of her strange companion holding her to him. Once again they were in alignment and it felt altogether right. This was how they should be. 


	26. The Cautious Way Forward

Frey smirked to herself as she watched Bado pace around the shop, making note of his inventory in a little damaged notebook. She leaned upon the counter, musing that the nice thing about his lousy management of his business was that the lack of customers made the Meanderer a nice and private place to spend time with him in.

She had been reluctant to release him, and he, similarly so to her. He stroked her back and pressed his cheek to her hair or rested his chin atop her head as she held him fast, counting his heartbeats and relishing the warm, solid presence of her friend. Eventually though, they let go of one another and blinked silently into each other’s eyes.

“I should have a look around and do what I came to do.” He murmured, clearing his throat and stepping away from her to check the register and the drawer behind the counter. Since then she had wordlessly watched him go about his business with no obvious method.

Eventually she grew bored and began to poke about the shop, looking into drawers and cupboards as well as examining every piece of merchandise on the walls and shelves. He glanced up at her with a curious and surprised expression as she rifled through every bit of his property, but she did not hesitate. After all, she had seen his heart unguarded. What could he possibly have that was more private than that?

“You’re a nosey one, aren’t you?” He chided as she poked her head through the door to his bedroom at the back of the building. But he did not say she should stay out, so in she went.

The room was a half-organized collection of clutter. Odds and ends were stacked on virtually every surface. Apparently he lived out of this one room. The sink and cupboards and the small plain table on one side served as kitchen, and the oversized bed took up most of the opposite wall. She blinked as her eyes fell on it. Of course he couldn’t fit on a conventional bedframe. She wondered if he was the tallest dwarf that ever lived. A notion occurred to her as he she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and resting her chin in her hand thoughtfully.

Bado came into the room and looked bewildered at her. She looked up at him from where she sat on his bed with no evidence of nervousness.

“What are you doing?” He said uncertainly. She pressed her fingers to her mouth, letting her gaze slip out of focus as she thought.

“I was just thinking… I should get a real bed placed in that barn for you.” He assumed a slightly startled expression. “…Since you have to stay in my keeping. Unless you’d rather I just stay here with you.” She shrugged.

“Ah, no. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said with a disbelieving chuckle.

“No? Then maybe you should come stay in the castle with me.” She offered with a grin.

“I better keep to the barn, little rebel. And you should probably stick to only breaking a couple social norms a day, don’t you think?”

“I don’t see why I should limit myself so.” She returned airily. He shook his head and laughed again.

“I dunno how you expect an old goat like me to keep up with your shenanigans.” He laughed. She raised an eyebrow at him with a reprimanding look.

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re gonna say. I’m not old until you say I am.” He teased. “You say you don’t like being called princess but you are sure ready as any royal ever was to order this old knight around.” All this he said while rummaging in a drawer and stuffing several articles of clothing into a knapsack which he swung onto his shoulder.

“You need direction.” She pointed out helpfully. He raised his eyebrows at her, but said nothing in reply to this. She hopped up from the bed and walked back over to him. “Are you done with shop stuff?” She tilted her head as she asked the question and propped her hands flat against his stomach, leaning some of her weight against him. He blinked at her and sighed with a reluctant little smile.

“You are cute, aren’t you.” It was not a question. She blushed slightly but did not react beyond that. “C’mon. This place is bumming me out. Let’s go back.”

“Bumming you out? Why?” She asked, immediately curious.

“Cause I keep catching myself thinking that I’ll wake up here tomorrow as a man and I’ll stay that way. I’m setting myself up for a fall, comin’ back here… pretending like I ain’t stuck with this…” He stared down at his hand with its pointed nails and grayish tinge. She reached out and grasped the hand and he looked up at her. Smiling a reassuring sort of smile, she squeezed his hand and pulled him toward the door.

“Let’s go then.” He sighed, but smiled vaguely in return.

“Alright. Lead the way, keeper.”

They left the shop door bolted shut, with a ‘closed’ sign hanging on the frame. Bado stared at it a minute or two, sighing with a glum expression.

“I guess folks will finally realize I’m not around, now.” He said in a distant voice. Frey blinked in confusion.

“What’re you talking about? Everyone already has noticed you’ve been missing. I heard Nancy asking about you just the other day in the general store.”

“Oh? Well, isn’t that nice.” He said mildly. “So I have made some impression, after all.”

“Bado…” She wanted to reach out and capture his hand again, pull him into a hug, or ruffle his hair. But she did none of these things. Yes, she was prepared to defend their right to express mutual affection to whomever may find fault with it, but at the same time, it was easier not to be accused in the first place. “You are always underestimating yourself and the impression you make. I wish you’d believe that you are not so inconsequential as you try to make yourself sound.”

“You’re sweet.” He said in an offhanded tone.

“I mean it.” She insisted. He turned and smiled at her.

“Don’t get me wrong. I mean that you’re the one who values me most at present, so of course you’d say a kind thing like that.” She blushed and blinked two or three times, hushed by his affectionate speech.

“C’mon.” He said again, holding a hand out to gesture that she should walk beside him. “Let’s go.”

Frey had just begun to move to walk next to him as they made to leave the Meanderer behind when the tenor of a familiar voice stopped them.

“Oh, hello you two! Closing up the shop?” They turned around simultaneously. Kiel stood a couple paces away, smiling brightly at them both. Bado glanced at her and back to Kiel nervously. Privately she reflected that the two of them must not have spoken since Kiel had reassured her the morning that Wolf Bado had snapped out of his temporary amnesia.

“Hey, kiddo.” Bado said warily. “What are you up to?”

“Oh I heard your voices and came this way to see how you two were doing? Looking out for each other I hope?” He chimed.

“Yep, despite a few little bumps in the road we are mostly all harmony and symbiosis.” She returned brightly. Bado looked at her and then Kiel again, this time with an expression of confusion on his face.

“That’s good. I’m glad you have such a supportive friend, Bado.” Kiel smiled widely at his adoptive guardian, looking for once like the more emotionally mature of the pair. The comical impression of this sight made Frey smile a little secret smile.

“Y-yeah…” The tall dwarf managed a shaky answer but beyond that seemed unable to articulate further speech.

“Well, let me know if either or both of you need anything. I’m still working on compiling all the known records of lycanthropy in Norad and picking apart the actual accounts from the myths and legends. Someday soon I hope to give you a full account of it and maybe then we’ll know what to do for a more permanent solution than just entrusting you to Frey’s care indefinitely.” Bado nodded mutely.

“Thanks, Kiel. Keep us posted.” Frey said cheerfully. The youth nodded and waved goodbye as he headed back the way he came. They stared after him for a few seconds before she turned to her friend, still blankly looking into the distance.

“You sure helped raise a good kid, there.” She chimed. “He’s very kind and perceptive, too.”

“Yeah…” He replied faintly, still looking a little shaken. Frey laughed.

“What were you expecting, anyhow?” He shrugged.

“Not for him to act like this is totally normal, anyway. To be honest I’ve been expecting being seen always in your company to blow up in my face as soon as anyone got wind of it.”

“Why?”

“Well, cause you’re Selphia’s princess, you silly thing. You may not realize it but you’re as treasured as I am dismissed by everyone who lives here. _And_ ,” He continued, giving her a sly look. “You’re also the top pick of all the young bucks as far as girls go.”

“W-what?!” She stammered, turning beet-red. He laughed aloud.

“And you say _I’m_ ignorant of how people see me.”

“That can’t be right.” She said indignantly, folding her arms. He shrugged.

“I’m just relaying what’s on the grapevine. But anyway, I doubt very much that everyone is going to be as relaxed about you and me bein’ so close as Kiel is.” Now she shrugged.

“I don’t care. They can think whatever they like. We are what we are and we aren’t what we aren’t. That doesn’t change based on what anyone else believes.”

“Hm. Well said.” He said, looking at her in that same appraising way he had back in the woods the day all this nonsense had started.

“You know, though…” She said after a moment’s silence. “I _would_ like to work things out with Forte soon…” He sighed hugely.

“Man, do we have to start with the hardest nut to crack?” He shook his head.

“She’s your family and my friend. And, she’s pissed. We haven’t really got any business starting anywhere else.” She pointed out.

“Yeah, well, just because you’re right doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Nope, but you do still have to do it.” She returned brightly. He sighed again.

“Well, maybe we should get it over with, then.” He turned around and looked down the street where Forte and Kiel’s house stood. Together they silently altered their course to head for the residence of Selphia’s hot-headed dragon knight. Before long they were standing nervously in front of the door, hesitating together to knock. Frey swallowed and furtively stroked Bado’s forearm hanging at his side with the back of her fingers, careful to check for bystanders before reaching for him. He turned his head and looked down at her with a resigned kind of smile, anticipating punishment but grateful for her presence and support.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again. Several more seconds passed and not a sound could be heard from within.

“She’s probably not home…” He muttered, but did not turn to leave yet.

“I guess we’ll have to try again later…” She sighed. Finally, they turned to leave, half disappointed and half relieved.

Just as they stepped down off the doorstep, a clatter and some uneven thumping footsteps sounded from within the house. They turned around suddenly.

“Too good to be true…” Bado mumbled under his breath. A moment later the door swung open and he made a startled noise full of shock and dismay.


	27. Guilt Driving Vengeance

Forte threw open the door and glared furiously at them both. It was undeniably her, but even though it could not have been anyone else, Frey did not want to believe she was actually looking at her friend. Bado was staring at her with a horrified, disbelieving expression. He swallowed mutely but stayed frozen and rooted in place.

The lady knight was battered and bruised from head to toe, one side of her face swollen and purple and the eye drooping shut from the center of a puffy bruise. Her armor was half assembled upon her and one arm was bandaged from her shoulder down to her palm, with her fingers protruding. Everywhere she was not bandaged there were half-healed scrapes and scratches.

“Forte what the hell happened?” Bado’s voice spilled out in a shaky torrent of incredulous worry.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” She said pointedly.

“Forte… You look like you have been fighting dragons!” Frey cried, aghast.

“Good guess, but no.” The knight returned haughtily. “…Mostly wolves and orcs out on the Maya road and also in Yokmir forest.” Her tone was defiant and matter-of-fact.

“ _Damnit_ you little fool! I _told_ you I didn’t want you runnin’ off doin’ reckless bullshit like hunting werewolves!” Bado thundered at her. Forte straightened up and stiffened, puffing out her chest and shouting back at him.

“I don’t have the patience to hear your nonsense! I’m trying to _save_ your hide, you stubborn old bastard!” She said viciously.

“I don’t _want_ you to save me!” He barked. “I want you _safe_!” Frey stared blankly at him. She had never known him to raise his voice to anyone in anger. In fact, she wasn’t rightly sure she’d ever seen him angry at all. It was startling, to be sure, but it did not occur to her to be afraid. Bado’s usual method of dealing with anything he didn’t like was with flippant, careless humor and aloofness. If he was roused to the point of shouting, it could only mean that something had upset or worried him well past his usual defenses. Indeed, she could see a breed of panic flashing in his eyes, even as he railed his fury at the bristling, battered knight before him.

“You don’t get to order me around!”

“Like hell, I don’t! I’m still your guardian!”

“I’m not a _child_!”

“No? Well you’re sure acting like one!”

“GUYS!” Frey shouted suddenly. They both turned and looked angrily at her, Bado’s face faltering and turning apologetic in a heartbeat. Forte, however still brandished that cold glare mercilessly at her friend. “We came her to _talk_ , not shout! Forte, may we come in?” She asked in exasperated tones.

Forte clenched her fists at her sides and looked for a moment like she would slam the door in their faces, but then she turned around and beckoned stiffly over her shoulder for them to follow. Frey and Bado followed her into her house and stood awkwardly looking at one another in the entryway, waiting for one or more of them to begin shouting again.

“Forte…” Frey began, hoping she might be an example to the two of them for a more civil exchange. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you about this earlier and made you upset. Bado and I have become close friends since the incident that turned him into a werewolf. I want you to know that I do not think of him as a pet, but a companion, whether he is a man or a wolf at any given time.” Forte blinked and looked from Frey’s face to Bado’s and back again.

“Close friends?” She said warily, bending an eyebrow in a disbelieving fashion. Bado winced. “You slept in the prison cell and the barn with him.”

“That was before.” Bado hurried to specify. “I didn’t know myself then. I thought I was an animal.” Forte only narrowed her eyes at him.

“We are not lovers if that is what you are worried about.” Frey said matter-of-factly. Bado startled at this plain declaration. Forte blinked at her and looked as though she were trying to decide whether she believed this claim. Suddenly a rush of indignation seized Frey and she felt her eyes harden.

“You’re sure? Perhaps you didn’t intend it but _he_ might have—“

“We’re _not_ , Forte.” Frey said firmly, “But even if we _were_ , it really isn’t any business of yours to tell him or me who we can and can’t be with.” She gave this speech calmly but with a cool kind of firmness that she hoped could not be argued with.

“You have the gall to berate me for telling him what to do, but you haven’t had any qualms about ordering him around, have you?” Forte said with challenge in her voice. Frey frowned furiously. Forte swung wildly between accusing Frey of using Bado and he of unseemly conduct with her. Who was she actually angry with and who was she worried about?

“Forte, stop it.” Bado said suddenly, once more calm but firm and commanding all the same. “I was given a choice. Ventuswill did me the favor of offering to put me in Frey’s keeping and I’m grateful for it, and to her to. I can’t go free but I’m not an unwilling captive either. And besides that, whatever the circumstances, Frey is right. It’s hardly your right to decide for other people who they are welcome to share intimacy with, regardless of what kind it is.”

“And I was the one who insisted on offering to look out for him in the first place.” Frey added. “Venti listened to my case and agreed to let me try and provide for his safety and welfare.” Forte shook her head in disbelief.

“I’m _trying_ —“ She seethed “—to put an end to all this by hunting down the monster that bit you. Then you two won’t _have_ to keep up this nonsense anymore!”

“Why don’t you _listen_?!” Bado returned in equal exasperation. “I _want_ to be with Frey!” The words seamed to cleave the rising tension and replaced it with shock. Forte staggered back and Frey stared, unblinking at Bado’s face. He looked sidelong at her like an animal caught in a trap. He had made her promise not to fall in love with him and reminded her of it almost daily. She had just got done insisting to Forte that they were not lovers. This string of words… ‘I want to be with Frey’ did not _mean_ anything in conflict with these assertions. He wished to remain with her as a friend and confidant, surely. But still her heart pounded and her face reddened. Could anyone really hear a thing like that and not feel as if… as if the wish of an enamored heart was born in it? She swallowed around the tightness in her throat.

“She just said you weren’t—“

“We’re not! For crying out loud, Forte, just leave us be! And stop worrying about me. I’d rather stay a werewolf forever than see you get hurt trying to cure me, don’t you understand that?” Forte looked at him and through her blue eyes Frey thought she could see wheels turning. Then she turned her gaze to Frey and stared at her for several seconds.

“We are to each other what we are and it isn’t for you to decide. You’re welcome to draw whatever conclusions you like but it isn’t anyone’s decision but ours what kind of friendship we have.” Frey said, quiet but firm.

“Friendship.” Forte echoed in a low voice. “Call it whatever you like, I suppose. If you’re both equally determined to keep each other company behind closed doors I can’t stop you, but you’re a fool, Frey, if you think this will just magically work out. And you.” She turned to Bado. “You say I should give up my hunt and leave you to your fate? Because you can’t stand to see me hurt in the course of pursuing it? Well, I can’t. You’ve already been hurt by my mistake and I must undo it. If you mean what you said then you should understand why I’m doing this, anyway.”

“Forte, don’t do this. It’s only a matter of time before the same damned thing happens to you, or _worse!_ ”

“Leave. I’m not going to argue this with you any longer.” She said firmly, but her voice was calm now. “I will not trouble you about your choices again if you’ll leave me to mine and say no more of it.” She paused, hesitating, then sighed heavily. “Frey, I’m sorry for shouting at you before. I appreciate you trying to take care of him, but I warn you now: it is far easier to enable someone than to truly help them.” Finally, she turned back to Bado. “Bado, I’m sorry my actions led to you being cursed with lycanthropy, but I will make it right. I’ll free you from this curse, as soon as I am able.”

“Stubborn—“ He growled, his voice sounding almost like a beast as he vented his pent-up frustration at her. Forte raised a hand to interrupt him and pointed to the door.

“Out. Now, if you please.” Was all she had to say. Frey touched Bado’s arm and tugged him until he followed her out. As the door shut behind them she saw that he was shaking with anger. Her eyes turned up to look at his and there she saw guilt and grief, all too recognizable to her given how much she still burdened herself with responsibility for his condition.

It was impossible not to sympathize with Forte, no matter how she vexed him. After all, what drove her to run off into the woods to fight every wolf monster she could find was the same thing that had motivated Frey to step inside a cage with a monstrous wolf that had made a vigorous effort to kill her on the night of the last full moon.

And now… The same guilt and fretful worry was gnawing at him. This tangle of blame and stubborn denial that strung the three of them together was a spider’s web they could not extricate themselves or each other from on their own. Would matters ever be mended between the three of them? Somewhat gloomily, Frey considered that as long as Bado kept his promise to leave his heart open to her, she would survive the loss of her friend the dragon knight. The bond with him was first in her heart, now.

“Hey.” She called quietly. He turned and looked miserably at her. “It will be okay.” She reached over and squeezed his hand briefly, risking the glances of others should anyone pass in front of the house in that moment. He did not shy away from her touch, this time, but gave her a grateful, if strained, smile. “Let’s just get home.” She said, then cringed slightly. It was easy to forget that her home was not his. ”Sorry…” She added in a hurry. He looked down the street toward the Meanderer and then up at the distant parapets of the castle in the center of town.

“Nah… The shop was the home of a Dwarf, not a werewolf. I don’t mind calling the barn home, for now. …As long as you’re there.” He said with a little sigh. She blushed again. Damn these inescapable reactions her body decided to make without her consent. How infuriating that the blood in her veins could not tell the difference between words like that uttered by a friend and not a lover?

‘Oh, well.’ She thought. ‘No matter what wild notions my blood may have, I know it’s not what he wants, so there is no danger of that…’ it was an oddly dispiriting thought, but still it calmed her nerves and allowed her to stay close to him without worry, so she leaned gingerly into the vague sense of disappointment she wasn’t quite willing to admit to herself.

The pair set off for the castle in silence, walking close together and side by side. Tomorrow was the eve of the new moon. Perhaps on that day, one sunrise later, they could both enjoy a blissful day of forgetfulness and pretend that he would stay a man and be free of all this worry. 


	28. Persistent Self Sabotage

Porcoline’s restaurant brimmed with activity. Margaret played a cheerful, bouncy melody on her harp while Dylas scurried this way and that to carry plates and cups of food and drink to the various tables. At least with the busy lunch hour, Frey had plenty to look at while she was avoiding eye contact with Vishnal.

The tiny table barely had enough room beneath it for both their legs, and every time one of her feet accidentally bumped one of his or she looked directly at him he turned bright red, fidgeted and mumbled a string of incoherent half-words.

She sighed. Plainly it had been too much wishful thinking to hope he would become _less_ nervous once they were together. Yesterday they had accomplished an entire conversation after she had given him her answer to his confession and he had not stumbled this much then. How was she supposed to get close to someone who couldn’t even stand for her to _look_ at him?

“I-I’m sorry…” He stammered, “I’m really not very good at this sort of thing.” He looked down, rounding his shoulders in embarrassment.

“Vish,” She exhaled in exasperation, making him jump at the sudden application of the nickname. She had been hoping it might do something to ease him but it seemed all of her attempts were backfiring today. “I told you I didn’t know if I would fall in love with you, but there’s no way I _can_ if you can’t get a hold of yourself and _relax_!”

“I know…” He mumbled hurriedly, cringing. “But I can’t help it. I’ve been hoping for this so long. I just don’t want to blow it. And that is m-making me more nervous than ever before!”

“This is why we’ve never even gotten familiar with each other as friends, you know.” She pointed out. “If you can’t be comfortable around me, then how am I supposed to be comfortable around you?”

“I’ll try harder! Please be patient with me, princess!” He was suddenly afire with determination, just like whenever he made a mistake in the course of performing his butler duties and immediately declared his resolve to do better. She furrowed her brow thoughtfully at him, a curious notion suddenly occurring to her. Bado had found it easier to share affection, both physical and verbal, the more she gave it to him. Maybe such a strategy could work with this nervous young butler.

“Perhaps you just need to be desensitized…” She said, smiling a little half smile. Then she reached across the table and took one of his hands in hers without the slightest hesitation. Vishnal, for his part, sucked in his breath with a sudden tensing of his backbone and reddened still further, if that were even possible. But, undeterred, Frey laid her other hand over top the one of his she was holding onto and patted it reassuringly. “There now… You haven’t caught fire or anything. It’s not so scary, is it?” He looked up at her, still wide eyed for a breath or two more, but then his expression softened and he smiled in a helpless kind of way.

“You’re always taking the initiative, aren’t you princess?” He said a little breathlessly.

“Well, I’m a busy girl. I haven’t got too much time to wait around for other folks to keep up.” She said brightly. Her mood was lifting as he finally began to grow calmer. She could feel his rapid pulse slowing in the delicate hand between hers. His face was similarly fair and soft, like porcelain. She blinked as she stared at him now that he was not quite so undone by her attention. He was almost like a girl, himself. There was no strong bridge to his nose, not one angular turn of any feature, and no trace whatsoever of facial hair or even the potential to grow any. She sighed through her nose quietly with a distant sense of disappointment. Then she blinked in surprise.

Frey had never before considered what she found attractive in a man, so she was therefore rather taken aback by the sudden sense that would rather he were more masculine in appearance.

“Huh.” She breathed softly as she digested the thought.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly, blinking his long eyelashes in a fretful sort of manner.

“O-oh… nothing.” She replied, and laughed a little at her own expense. “It’s just a bit strange. I’m pretty sure this isn’t my first time having a boyfriend or going on a date, but I can’t remember, so… all I have to go on is a faint sense that this isn’t entirely new to me.” He stared into her eyes for a beat or two and then the hand that grasped hers squeezed gently.

“It must be very hard to have no memory of your past. If there is ever anything I can do for you, whether we are l-lovers at the time or not… please don’t hesitate to ask, princess.” This speech was so nearly perfect in articulation and so entirely earnest that it took her by surprise. A faint warmth grew in her cheeks and with a twinge Frey realized she, too, was blushing now.

“…Sure… Thank you.” She answered softly after a moment. He smiled.

“You are so very cute, princess. I am so lucky to have you with me, even if ends up only for a short time.” There was no trace of exaggeration or flattery to his statement. It was his honest thoughts, though she could hardly bring herself to believe such a romantic line.

Fortunately she was saved in that moment from having to reply to this very affectionate comment by Dylas appearing like some kind of frazzled spirit, his tail twitching back and forth as he flipped through the many orders on his notepad until he found a clean page.

“What can I get you?” He said mechanically, then looked twice at each of them. “Wait, are you two on a date?” He blurted out, having glanced down at their clasped hands. Frey smirked at this social bumble and nodded. “S-sorry. That was nosy… I, uh… Whaddayou guys want to drink? First round is on me for being, uh… you know…” Frey shook her head. She’d had enough of nervous men today, already.

“Fruit smoothie, please.” She said placidly.

“Two, please.” Vishnal echoed. Dylas nodded and walked away in a hurry.

The meal passed in pleasant conversation from then on. Having held onto his hand until the drinks were delivered by the seemingly permanently flustered Dylas, Frey was feeling a little more comfortable sitting alone at the table with her date and he was decidedly more relaxed and affable, too. They spoke of the weather, what crops Frey was raising in the farmlands behind the castle (though she was careful not to mention her temporary farm hand with wolf’s teeth), and his various duties and training exercises as an apprentice butler. It was all very domestic, the very picture of normalcy and tameness among young people in Selphia. This, however, did not quite sit comfortably in Frey’s heart.

She had been accustomed to innumerable strangities recently, what with Bado’s entire werewolf ordeal being played out with her and before her on a daily basis, and simple, ordinary happenings felt somehow false to her at present. Who could sit around pretending the world was such a placid, uneventful thing when somewhere outside the town there was a rampant werewolf that had turned the town’s blacksmith into one of its kind? And how could she put that werewolf dwarf out of her mind for even a moment of quiet conversation with her suitor when even as they spoke of folding hand towels and practicing cutting vegetables he was sitting alone in the barn back at the castle… maybe brooding on his predicament or…

She shook her head slightly as she half-listened to his animated story of Volkanon’s training methods. It would not be at all comfortable to admit to herself what she worried he was brooding on, truly. It could not make her feel any more at ease or patient with her whole situation to remember him saying he could not hope to have as good as she for his own… ‘for my own…’ those words, spoken in his own deep voice echoed in her mind.

Didn’t saying that mean he had considered it? Sure the subject had come up plenty in the context of the promise he had asked for that she would not attempt to open that sort of relationship with him. She had assumed, determinedly at times, that his reasoning was that he did not see her as a potential partner and wanted to eliminate any possibility of a misunderstanding. But the way he had stumbled over his words that time… ‘even if you don’t mean to… to kiss me…’

She shook her head again, more insistently this time, as if she could dislodge the unwanted thoughts.

“Princess? What’s the matter?” Vishnal asked again.

“I… feel a little dizzy, that’s all.” She lied, inwardly swearing. Why had she let her mind wander down that road again? How many times was she going to let herself get close to that forbidden thought before she learned her lesson? It only made it hurt more every time Bado reminded her again not to consider it.

‘I’m not in love with _anyone.’_ She thought firmly at herself. ‘Not Bado, Not Vishnal… no one. It’s just that he is always bringing it up so I can’t just let that thought bury itself. It’s his fault.’ She thought somewhat bitterly.

“Maybe I should take you to Jones and Nancy…” Vishnal’s worried voice snapped her back to the moment.

“No, no… I think I’m just hungry is all.” She insisted, waving a hand dismissively. Just then Dylas reappeared carrying the food that they had ordered sometime during their conversation the last time he had appeared. He placed a large bowl of shrimp tempura on rice before Frey and a plate of curry rice in front of the butler across from her. Frey looked down at the food and swallowed.

‘Why the hell did I have to order _this_?’ She thought furiously. She hadn’t paid very close attention to the menu, and barely heard herself speak the order when Dylas asked what she would like to eat. Now, just as she was trying her hardest to push him out of her mind, she had an entire meal of the town blacksmith’s favorite food steaming and sizzling before her. How had she managed to sabotage herself so thoroughly?

The only thing that saved her the embarrassment of further inquiries while she tried not to taste or enjoy what she was eating was Vishnal’s own exultant appreciation of his own meal. He went on for a quarter of an hour about curry rice, all the varieties and ingredients thereof, times he had tried and failed to make it for himself, and how utterly perfect Porcoline’s rendition of his favorite dish was each and every time. Spared the trial of speaking without being able to reign in her thoughts, Frey contented herself with staring with feigned interest at her date while he carried on, blissfully ignorant of her preoccupation.

At the end of the meal, she insisted on paying, to the butler’s evident consternation, saying she owed it to him for running off in the middle of his confession before. Finally, promising he could pay next time, and thereby assuring him a second date at least, she was thus able to pacify his sense of duty and they walked back to the castle, hand in hand.

He was certainly less nervous now, she thought with a slight smirk as he chattered excitedly about the many ranks a butler must achieve before he may be granted the title of ‘master butler’. She _would_ have to try at least one more date with him, said a voice in her mind, since she had spent almost their entire first date wholly unable to drive thoughts of a completely different man from her mind. She owed it to him to try again and next time focus on the person she was actually on a date with. All these guilty thoughts gnawed at Frey so much that she barely noticed when they arrived back at the castle, only blinking with the realization when he stopped and turned to her in front of the great double doors of the front entrance.

“W-well…” he began, resuming some of his nervousness now that it was time to part. “When could w-we do this again, do you think?” He ventured bravely.

How about this weekend? She said mildly, perfectly willing to set another date within the next few days. He might not know of her guilt but she was eager to make it up to him, all the same.

“That would make me very happy, indeed.” He answered, calmed again.

“See you then.” She called, giving his hand one more squeeze before walking into the castle and turning right to head for her quarters. His wistful eyes were on her back as she walked away down the corridor and she even heard a happy sigh escape his lips as Vishnal finally turned to go back toward his own room.


	29. The Inevitable Tumble

Frey sat on her bed with her face in her hands, rubbing at her forehead in frustrated, silent brooding. She had to go out to the barn soon. Bado would surely be waiting for her to return. They were supposed to plant hot hot fruit seeds in the west field before sundown, after all, but she just didn’t know if she could face him just now. She sighed audibly alone in her room and wondered if she could pass of her distracted state as being smitten from the date with Vishnal.

If only she _knew_ what that big oaf was actually thinking… what was actually in his heart. If she could just say for sure that he didn’t want her… then maybe she’d have some peace. And… if she could assure herself with any confidence that she didn’t want him to…

She worked up her courage and hopped onto her feet from the side of the bed, walking out the back door and beginning the trek across the wide fields to where the monster barns stood in a row by the tree line.

Steeling herself once more, she swallowed her nervousness and pushed open the door to the barn and stepped inside. The knapsack Bado had brought from home sat leaning against the wall and his borrowed clothing from the garrison was hanging up to dry on a wire next to the wall, having been washed while she was away. It looked rather like a homeless vagabond had elected to secret himself in her barn and thereby secure temporary shelter from the bite of the oncoming winter. But… there was no tall dwarf in the small room.

Her heart pounding suddenly, Frey looked around the room twice more, hoping she had somehow missed him napping on the straw or washing his face at one of the water barrels. It was a rather vain, desperate kind of delusion. It was hardly possible to overlook Bado anywhere. He was so very large… _and_ , there was no one her eyes and mind were better trained to search for, just now.

Panic started to bubble up in her belly. Where had he gone? He knew he was not to leave the castle grounds without her by Ventuswill’s command. But then again, had she not scoffed and accused that he would have little reservations about defying her, given the motivation? That fool! Didn’t he realize that he was risking being returned to the dungeon? Didn’t he care that she could only justify keeping him as long as he behaved himself faithfully and stayed within her farm?

“Well, look what the cat dragged in!” A familiar, low voice sounded behind her, causing her to gasp and jump as she spun around. Bado laughed as he saw this, and smiled broadly at her. “Sorry, Frey. Didn’t think it was possible to scare you like that.”

“I wasn’t _scared_ , you just startled me is all!” She heard herself retort in a breathy voice. Her heart was pattering madly against her ribs, and with no small degree of indignation she felt her face redden in embarrassment. He chuckled again, tilting his head, all affection and musing disbelief.

“Sure, whatever you say, little cutie.” This last remark struck her like a slap to the face. One strong _thump_ of her overexcited heart made her breath catch at this sugary-sweet nickname. He was saying it to unsettle her and make her even more embarrassed, this she knew. After all, had he not pulled these same tactics over and over before to get a rise out of her? Even so, her heart did not quite believe her mind explaining it away so easily. She frowned, mutely indignant at him and his amusement only grew.

With an air of gracious favor, he changed the subject and gave her the chance to escape the humiliating predicament with his next breath:

“How was the date, miss heartbreaker?” This was hardly any less likely to embarrass and fluster her, but at least it created an opportunity for her to talk.

“It was fine, mutt.” She waved a hand a little carelessly as she tossed out this slightly deprecating name for him. “He was a perfect gentleman, unlike _some_ people.”

“What? I’m shocked and hurt, princess!” He mockingly slapped a hand over his heart as if he had been shot through with an arrow. “How can you imply that I am anything other than a gentleman? I am the _definition_ of classiness and respectability.” He turned his head to give her the benefit of viewing his profile as he assumed a haughty expression in total self-mockery. She was beaten. Her smile broke out and she laughed aloud, forgiving him instantly in the throes of her affection for this ridiculous man.

“That’s a good one, I’ll have to remember that joke.” She teased, and folded her arms as she smirked up at him. He grinned back at her and she saw that his pointed canines had shrunk a little more. They were very nearly imperceptible… normal.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved off the jibe. “So, spill the beans! Did you kiss him, or what?” Her mouth dropped open.

“So _nosy_!” She said in shocked indignation. “No, I did _not_ kiss him! You really think I am the type to kiss on a first date?” He shrugged in a comically exaggerated manner.

“How should I know? Do _you_ even know what sort you are?” She opened her mouth to make some kind of comeback but nothing came.

“I…” She faltered. He smirked.

“I just thought since you’re so fond of huggin’ and bein’ all cozy with a guy that you’d hardly be likely to hesitate with one that’s actually on the menu for you.” He said with a careless air. Twice this statement jabbed at her heart; once, because she would not have hugged ‘a guy’, meaning just any guy who’d let her, and once because of the implication that he himself was not even an option for her to consider as a partner.

She wanted to correct him. She wanted to say how it wasn’t that she wanted to be ‘all cozy’ with just _someone_. It was he, himself that motivated her to affection and intimacy… But she said none of this. The second thing pierced her too deeply to dare, just now.

“I… held his hand.” She heard herself say, in a voice as fragile and precarious as dewdrops on a spider’s web. She was distantly aware that she was staring at him with the expression of one waiting to know if they would be rejected… expelled from the trust and vulnerability he had previously shown.

“Well, that _is_ nice.” He said with a forced sort of warmth in his tone. “It’s nice to hear you’re giving him a shot. I think it’ll be good for you, Frey. Maybe this way you’ll learn to spend your physical affection on your lover and not on a lonely old dog like me, eh?” She said nothing, looking at him with what must have been a painfully transparent disappointment and hurt in her eyes. He was not looking at her now, though. He looked up in a lightly contemplative way, rubbing his beard thoughtfully before striking another unwitting blow to her already bruised heart:

“…And if Vishnal doesn’t spark any interest with you, maybe you can bag Leon? I mean, _you_ could probably land any boy in town, you know?”

‘So that’s it, then…’ she thought, forcing her clenched throat to swallow and pushing down the burning feeling in her eyes. He would sooner see her set up with any young man in Selphia than keep her attentions fixed on himself. He hoped she would learn better than to be affectionate to him. He was sure she could have any boyfriend she liked and he wanted her to have one, anyone other than himself.

“I guess.” She replied tonelessly. He didn’t appear to notice, only shrugged as if the subject required no more thought on his part.

“Well, let’s get to planting before the sun goes down, eh?” She nodded mutely.

Frey stared at Bado’s back in numb disbelief as she followed him out into the fields. Over and over she had warned herself not to go down that road in her mind. Over and over she had failed to heed her own advice. Now… the thing she had feared was real and all the disappointment and shock she had worried would come down on her was real and present.

‘Why did I let myself do that?’ She thought bitterly. ‘Why did I ever talk myself into believing he wanted me…’

They silently worked together to plant all the hot-hot fruit seeds she had on hand and then, after bringing him a generous meal from the castle kitchens, she excused herself, vaguely mumbling that she didn’t feel well as she pushed the bowl into his hands and turned back for the castle. She did not even hear his reply, though she knew he had said _something_. Her feet carried her stumbling back, step by mindless step until she blinked down at her bed and fell upon it, gasping out all her bitter heartbreak into the bedding without uttering so much as a squeak audibly enough to draw the attention of one of the attentive servants of Selphia’s Dragon God’s castle. 


	30. His Determined Denial

Frey woke, dry-eyed and calm the morning after understanding the truth of Bado’s feelings. The hurt of the night before had cooled and hardened overnight and though it still felt heavy in her chest, it was much easier to push aside and ignore. She rose and went about her morning routine before collecting the extra food the butlers had prepared and walking out to the barns again.

The sense of being distant from herself and the things in front of her persisted as she pushed open the door and called out a mild-voiced good morning to Bado. He was already up and dressed in his usual dwarven clothing and did not appear to notice any change in her demeanor since yesterday.

“Hey Frey. Feelin’ better?” He asked pleasantly as he accepted his breakfast from her hands and smiled unassumingly at her. She heard herself say she was indeed feeling better and that it was probably nothing.

“That’s good.” He continued, “So… Notice anything different?” He smiled expectantly at her. His canines were no more fanglike than her own this morning. She blinked and then smiled in return.

“You’re back to your original handsome self then, huh?” She teased. Somewhere in her half-numb heart she felt a happiness echoing his own elation stir. Gratitude followed this feeling and she sighed with relief silently without showing what she felt.

Ever since the previous afternoon she had worried… _feared_ her feelings of care and affection for him would be completely snuffed out in her effort to smother those other, less acceptable emotions she had come to associate with him as of late. She had no choice, of course. She had to stop it. She had _promised_ him… But now, as she felt herself share in his bright appreciation of his temporarily restored condition, she knew in time she could go back to caring about him and for him in the uncomplicated way she had up to now, with one minor difference…

She blinked again. He was speaking but she hadn’t caught his words in her mental wanderings.

“What? I’m sorry… I must still be a little addled after all.” She said abashedly. He smiled good-naturedly, all forgiveness.

“I was saying, as much as I hate to say it, I think I ought to go to the shop and work as much as possible today. This werewolf nonsense is going to put me out of business if I don’t do _something_. And… Ventuswill _did_ order that I could go home only in your company, so I was wondering if you’d be willin’ to give up your day to take me there so I can catch up on some things while I don’t look so freaky.”

“Oh… of course.” She replied. “We can go right after breakfast, if you like.”

“I think that’d be for the best. Gotta make the most of today, right? Ah, it does feel good to be back in my own skin, lemmie tell ya.” He added with a look of pure, happy relief. She smiled sweetly in agreement.

After breakfast they did indeed walk to the meanderer straight away and having nothing else to occupy the long hours, Frey alternated between watching him work and helping out here and there with what tasks he didn’t mind letting her do. He was generally reluctant to allow her to work in the morning, until she pointed out she was likely to expire from boredom if he wouldn’t let her do _something_. Then, feeling he was doing her a favor now, he explained the ins and outs of his shop and invited her to help him organize, label and dust off the odd, eclectic merchandise he had accumulated but never managed to sell much of.

At lunch they returned to the castle briefly to eat and went back to the Meanderer as soon as they were fed. Over the course of the afternoon, Frey saw him focus single-mindedly on forging a number of simple weapons to fill in the gaps on the shelves. None of them were particularly embellished or anything more than basic, practical tools, in fact, but he had managed to make quite a few of them. With a sudden pang of realization the thought that he had just worked harder and longer than she had ever seen or even heard of him working before entered her mind. She stared in mute fascination as he wiped sweat and soot from his face by the forge and set his hammer down in early evening.

“Well… that’s all I’ll put you through today, little one. Thanks for being patient. I think if I’m able to do this once in a while maybe I can get away with keepin’ this little shop of mine open despite all this craziness. And, um… with your help, if you’re willing…”

“Of course.” She smiled warmly at him. He sighed with relief.

“Thanks, Frey. You’re a gem.”

“It’s no big deal.” She shook her head. “Should we go back for dinner?” He shifted his balance, pulled off his gloves and opened his arms to her with a light expression full of the offer of open affection.

Frey hesitated. It was only a moment, but she wondered if she could indeed separate her feelings enough to accept contact with him without rekindling the pain and disappointment that had brought her low the night before. She swallowed and stepped forward.

As the familiar sensation of his thick, warm arms wrapping about her and his broad chest expanding gently with his breath as she leaned on him filled up her senses, Frey sighed again with a content release of worry. It still felt good. It still felt right. And it didn’t take much to obscure the tiny voice of longing in the corner of her mind. She could do it. She could be the friend she had promised to be to him. It would all be okay.

Over dinner and throughout their evening chores around the farm Bado was jovial, talkative and gregarious. Frey smiled and exchanged light-hearted teasing and banter with him with no outward sign that anything had troubled her. But, as the thick blanket of darkness descended over Selphia in the moonless night, she turned with a sense of alarm to stare at him. What he had said made her heart clench with worry.

“What?” She called, her mouth going dry.

“I said, wouldn’t it be something if this really was the end of it? What if I wake up tomorrow and I’m still just as much a dwarf as I ever was before the last full moon?” She swallowed, staring concernedly at him.

“You know it won’t just go away like that…” She said very low.

“Yeah, but… what if it _did_ , you know? This whole thing came on suddenly and without warning, right? Who says it couldn’t stop just as mysteriously as it started?” He continued, entirely undeterred.

What on earth was he saying? Frey began to feel a sense of dread creeping up her back. Was he really so far from understanding his situation as that? All she heard from his mouth was blind denial, now…

“Bado…” She called warily, “Do you… remember changing… that night? When you were bitten?” He scrunched his features as if making an effort to dig up the memory, then shook his head and shrugged with no evidence of concern.

“Nah, I don’t think I do. The first thing I recall with any clarity is waking up in that cell. And all the stuff from before I remembered myself is a little fuzzy, too, now.” He waved a hand as if to say it didn’t much matter, either. Frey swallowed. So he didn’t know… he didn’t remember how lost to the savagery of the beast he had been in the moments following his first transformation. He didn’t remember her striking him to the ground with his hammer, and he didn’t remember nearly tearing out her throat with his teeth…

“Well…” She said cautiously. “I really don’t think this is the sort of thing that will disappear without so much as a whimper. Plus, if Kiel and Ventuswill’s information is true… which it more than likely is, we should fully expect that you’ll change again. I don’t know for sure if it will be slow or sudden, but it will happen, Bado. You’re scaring me a little, you know… talking like it won’t come to pass.”

“You worry too much, Frey. Let’s just see what happens.” He said, waving her off again. She shook her head.

“We _will_ see what happens, whether it’s what we want to see or not.”

“C’mon, give me a hug and then run along and get some rest. I’m just about done being upright for today, myself. I’ll bet you’re pretty beat, too, eh?” She nodded, trying at a faint smile and accepting he offered embrace, squeezing him around the middle briefly before parting with him and heading back to her room.

A few minutes later, she sighed up at the vaulted ceiling of her quarters in the castle. The darkness was complete, except the faintest glimmering of starlight from the high windows. The new moon was nothing but a round shadow in the slightly less deep blackness of the night sky. It was strange, she thought… she had looked forward to this day eagerly for the last two weeks. The first day Bado would be completely restored to his original body… What had she expected this day would bring, other than a temporary respite? Was she as deluded as the werewolf himself? And what would the morning bring?

She had no idea whether the change would be pronounced enough to notice first thing in the morning. Perhaps it would take another day or two to show any sign. And in the meantime, would he convince himself he was cured? Would his disassociation from the reality of his situation necessitate a revision to Ventuswill’s orders? Would she revoke her permission to let him stay with Frey? She could not, after all, force him to one course of action or another. It was only his voluntary acquiescence that held this precarious situation together, and she knew it all too well…

Pulling the comforter over her head with a groan of apprehension, she curled into a ball, hugging her knees beneath the blankets. Who knew how many hours she fretted away in the total darkness of the moonless midnight before a fretful, restless sleep finally took her under its inky black shroud.


	31. Her Cognitive Dissonance

Wake, dress, walk to the kitchen… gather up breakfast and walk out to the barn. This morning ritual had already become Frey’s new normal. Push open the door to the barn, wait for the dimness in the room to come into focus… He would be standing there smiling in that carefree way, sometimes mixed with a mischievous, playful streak. They would eat together, talk, work on the farm… all of it was so domestic she could hardly remember the sheer oddity of the circumstance that created this new routine. And… it was especially difficult to remember the altered nature of her friend when he looked so much like his old self, now.

All this ran through her head over and over as she reenacted the pattern she was remembering. But as she stepped into the barn and blinked to help her eyes adjust to the change in light, she gasped with a small voiced inhalation. Bado was lying motionless on the straw covered floor of the barn, eyes open, staring with a distant expression up into the rafters and thatch roofing of the little building. His lips were slightly parted and his broad chest rose and fell almost imperceptibly with his shallow, slow breathing.

She set the food down in a hurry and knelt at his side, calling anxiously.

“Bado! What’s the matter? Are you okay?” She fretted with hands outstretched, hesitating only for a heartbeat before laying her hands on his chest and shoulder and jostling him slightly. He blinked and swallowed, bringing a hand up to still hers. “Oh, Divine Dragons!” She breathed, half relieved, half furious, “You scared the daylight out of me, you bonehead! What are you doing lying here like a dead thing?”

He did not reply with word or sound, but opened his mouth, still staring vaguely upward but clearly not observing anything. His canines had grown ever so slightly pointed again. A casual glace would not have drawn suspicion, but having been with him every day for nearly the entire day throughout his gradual change in shape, Frey recognized the difference instantly. She sighed, unwilling to deliver the ‘I told you so’ on her tongue.

“It’s not just that… “ he said, low and brittle. “I can feel it… my head… my mind is getting muddled with the animal thoughts and senses again. It’s not very strong yet, but it’s there.” Frey grasped his huge hand and squeezed it.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered. “I wish I could take your place and spare you all this...” This finally did elicit a more pronounced response. He drew in a long breath and sat up, head bent, and sighed before turning to look at her with a remorseful glance.

“No… Don’t talk like that. I don’t want to imagine you being cursed, too.” He said quietly. She bit her lip and looked down as he turned away again and sighed again.

She wanted to promise it would be alright. She wanted to vow to end the curse and cure him, whatever it took. Divine Dragons knew she would… but this would only upset him more, so she held in the words and pushed down the impulse to run out into the forest with Forte and slash every wolf she could find to ribbons until Bado was free of this burden.

“I’m sorry Frey. Feelin’ sorry for myself isn’t gonna do me or you any favors.” He sat up and bravely put on a half-smile.

“I guess It’s just gonna take a little longer than I thought to accept that this is my life now. But… As long as you’re with me, I think I’ll be able to get by just fine.” He gazed disarmingly at her and Frey reluctantly allowed herself to be convinced that he was in no immediate danger. She shifted closer to him and put her arms around his neck, hugging him gently and murmuring in his pointed ear.

“I know this is scary, but you’re not alone, and I won’t leave you. So, you’ll be okay. It won’t always be comfortable or easy… but you’ll be okay.” She felt him still as he heard these words, then the large hands settled on her back and pressed her delicately to him.

“Thank you, Frey.” He hummed in her ear with genuine gratitude. He was certainly getting better at these open expressions of feelings. His deep voice set a shiver down her back and she pushed away the sensation, disallowing any stirring of attraction before it even took shape in her mind. 

‘He is my _friend_ , and will never be anything other than my friend.’ She repeated to herself again and again in her mind.

Thus having consoled both Bado and herself, Frey managed to enjoy the familiar routine of the rest of the day without anything to worry her further. This afternoon somehow seemed to flow into evening, the into the following morning, and onward with hardly a pause. As she adapted to this new status quo and all of it became routine, Frey had the vague impression that part of herself had gone to sleep. She watched days pass without much interest. On Saturday she went out with Vishnal again, visiting the grocery and buying each other chocolate cookies in little parchment packets while Granny Blossom made sweet, affectionate remarks on their appearance as a couple and Doug sulked behind the counter. Day by day, Bado’s teeth grew sharper, his ears began to climb upward on his head and his hands and feet turned gray, the nails hard and dark and narrower by degrees. He became more reclusive and brooding the more his appearance changed, but he always made sure to offer her a hug before saying goodnight, whether she asked for one or not.

After the second date, Vishnal’s confidence crystalized a little more and he was eager to have another date and then another with Selphia’s princess. Having failed to reject him so far, Frey supposed he was becoming more hopeful or ready to believe she might actually fall in love with him after all. For her part, she hardly knew any more now whether it was possible than she had when he first confessed to her. It was not in her to know such things, just now.

Though her self-smothering had successfully banished her attraction to the man living on her farm and snuffed out the profound discomfort of unrequited feelings, it had bought her the side effect of being partly numb to the world. She felt as though nothing were quite as interesting as it might have been before. As though a pane of glass was always between her and anything she observed, she adopted the bored melancholic expression of a spectator frequently, now.

Too much embroiled in his own mood swings, Bado did not have the luxury of enough free attention with which to notice these changes in his Earthmate caretaker, it seemed. Not that she minded. It would have been more difficult if he fussed over her, after all.

Thus the week following the New moon passed without much interest in her eyes. The pattern repeated itself day by day and except for the gradual change in Bado from Man to wolf, and the steady growth of Vishnal’s affection for her. They continued to go on dates, first to the observatory, next an afternoon jaunt in the airship. Later the two of them walked around the frozen beautiful landscape of Dragon Lake and finally, they made plans to go to the flower shop together next time.

On the ninth day since the new moon, Frey’s spirit was roused somewhat by an unexpected shift in Bado’s demeanor. He was more wolf than man by now, huge and thickly furred in dark black and his eyes were more than a little silver, too. They had become somewhat subdued together as both friends struggled with their own internal storms. Though he clearly made an effort to interest himself in her wellbeing and conversation, Bado slipped easily into silent brooding and Frey did not always bother to try and rouse him from it now that she, too was distanced a little from reality by the numbness she had afflicted herself with. But now, the wolf-man’s demeanor changed. He was suddenly not as preoccupied, and sought her affection more often. At first it was only a vague sense of something having begun to shift until a very plain request from his long canine mouth cracked the pane of glass that had stood between her and everything around her for the last week and a half.

“Frey, could I trouble you for another brushing?”

“Oh… Of course.” She replied, failing somewhat to mask the mystified tone in her voice and staring expression on her face. He leaned toward her and nuzzled her cheek with one paw-hand at her back to keep him from pushing her off balance.

“Thanks.” He hummed.

That evening he pulled off his borrowed clothing, stretched and tattered from his change in proportions while wearing them, and sat upon the straw covered floor, sphinxlike with his belly to the floorboards and his head upright, tuned on her. She retrieved the brush and silently set to work combing through the abundance of black fur all over him. He hummed appreciatively and even allowed one hind leg to scrabble against the floor as he shut his eyes and enjoyed a particularly good scratch between his shoulder blades that she bestowed on him with a smile.

She hadn’t quite expected this… After his abrupt change last month upon remembering his original self, Wolf Bado had suddenly become very reluctant about accepting her attentions and would hardly have _asked_ for such intimate care of his half-monster person. But the reality before her was that the closer he came to being an animal once more, the more relaxed, contented, and openly affectionate he grew.

Just as before, the simple, innocent wanting of this creature who was forever standing close enough for her to lean on, nudging her shoulder with his snout, and leaning into her touch whenever she offered a stroke or a scratch behind the ears, melted her utterly and she unwittingly crept slowly out of her emotional seclusion, unable to resist him like this.

As if defrosting in the first sunlight of spring, Frey became more lively and warm toward everyone around her. Vishnal, in particular was inclined to see this as a good sign, a reflection on his earnest efforts to foster their relationship. He grew even more hopeful, affectionate, and confident as the full moon approached.

By the eve of the full moon, Bado the wolf was indistinguishable from a monster except his very occasional utterances of speech, Vishnal was kissing Frey on the cheek without hesitation whenever he greeted or bid her goodbye, and Frey herself had brightened to her former radiance, free from the burden of her feelings for Bado the man as he sank further beneath the guise of the monster.

“I made sure to keep my schedule free tomorrow, in case you need more looking after than usual during the full moon.” She told the huge black wolf as he licked a paw and nibbled at one of the long claws. He did not reply in words but looked distinctly pleased at this news, anyway. The more she set time aside for him, the more Wolf Bado was inclined to be calm and content to doze in the barn or walk about the frozen fields with her. Now that winter had settled onto Selphia in full force, only the strange golden vegetables, hot-hot fruits, and lamp grasses thrived between the drifts of snow and showed no sign of withering no matter how frozen the ground became or how obscured in pure, frigid white the sky turned.

“Anyhow, I better get back.” She said casually as she gathered up the dishes from their dinner, not expecting a reply any more than she would of any other monster pet.

“No.” the firm, low voice startled her into turning to stare fixedly at the monster, gazing back at her with unreadable silver eyes as wild as starlight on a frozen lake.

“What?” She breathed softly.

“You stay. I keep you warm. You keep me company.” He said matter-of-factly, not minding in the least that he spoke mostly in fragments, short and to the point, without embellishments such as humor.

“Bado… I don’t think I should stay out here again… You didn’t want me to either, before…” He shook his head, calmly rejecting the notion.

“I say I want you here, now. …Does not matter what I say before.” She shook her head faintly, unsure of how to answer. He sat up and nuzzled her with his big wolf snout, licking her neck and face and rumbling a deep, satisfied growl in his barrel chest. “You are mine. You stay.” Frey’s breath caught in her throat and her mind stumbled into an uncomfortable tangle of confused emotions.

“I-I h-have to go back…” She stammered, somewhere between alarmed at his sudden possessiveness and pleased, deep down, to hear any version of Bado say ‘you are mine’ to her. He stood up, unfazed, and looked ready to follow her just like always around the farm.

“Then I go too. I sleep at the castle too. Frey must be with me.” He said in an unconcerned voice. She swallowed. There was no obvious way around it, and at least if he was in the castle with her he would docile and quiet and she could sleep in warmth and comfort.

“If you insist…” She murmured. With a sudden jolt she suddenly realized she did not feel as though she were speaking to her dwarven blacksmith friend. This version of Bado was so much like the Wolf that had no memory of his prior life as a man, Frey was all at once burdened with the uncomfortable realization that he may have forgotten himself all over again. Instantly he grew concerned at her change in demeanor and he sniffed and nudged her up and down turning around her in a half circle of his considerable size and making an anxious noise in his throat.

“Bado…” She managed to say in an unsteady voice. “Do you… remember when you weren’t a wolf?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. He turned one of his tall, furry ears in contemplation and then shook himself.

“I am wolf. I am man.” He said, with a ducking motion of his great head that she supposed counted for a shrug. “You are with me when I walk on two feet… and when I walk on four, too. Frey… I want you with me. You stay with me, or I go with you. No more leaving when the moon rises.”

Frey swallowed thickly. Before… when she had argued the point with Bado the man, she had insisted that she knew by what his wolf-self had shown her what was in his heart. She insisted that he needed her affection and willing intimacy and he relented in the face of this argument. Didn’t that mean it was true? And if it was… didn’t _this_ mean that in his one heart reflected by two forms, one monster, one man, that he really did want her for his own? Having pressed this hope down and squashed these feelings for weeks already, the thought of opening up that Pandora’s box again was almost too much to bear, but at the same time, here it was… evidence beyond any reasonable doubt she could cook up. She stared into the silver eyes of the wolf in front of her, unmoving, paralyzed by the weight of the feelings unfurling in her. Then a cold spike drove itself into her heart in the form of doubt returning.

Even if in his heart he wanted her, he had still done everything he could to prevent the mere possibility of fulfilling such a wish. He had begged of her a promise never to try and make him her lover, he had reminded her at every turn that he was not available to her, and he had gone out of his way to ensure she was partnered to someone else just to snuff out the odd chance she might begin to see him in a romantic light to the best of his ability. Even if he wished for her in secret… there were reasons, strong ones, to motivate him to bar the two of them from being entangled in love together. Even if he wanted her… he wouldn’t let her love him.

Frey winced. The lack of hearing a rejection plainly from his lips did not make the pain of it any less. With a little gasp she rebuilt her defenses promptly and re-numbed her heart. It had worked so far... it would work some more until such a day as when she could let this go.

“Come on then, mutt.” She sighed resignedly. “I’m dead tired. Let’s get some sleep.” She turned and stumbled back across the fields toward the castle, too weary to even try to dissuade the monstrous black wolf trotting close behind her from following her to her bedchamber. Upon reaching the large ornate bedframe and elaborately embroidered blankets of her bed at the castle, she collapsed onto it and lay on her side, staring at nothing in particular while the huge wolf sniffed his way around her room, taking note of every little thing as he went.

‘What is the matter with you…’ She thought as her eyes fixed on him as he meandered back toward the bedframe, his head bent and his snuffling wolf’s nose leading his great head along the rug. Finally he raised his head and stared into her eyes for a moment or two. She didn’t blink. The great wolf stepped close beside her bed and reached his snout over the edge, sniffing her hair and neck and giving her cheek a little lick before turning in two and a half circles and settling on the rug next to the bed, his weight making the bedframe creak as he leaned against it and lowered his head onto his paws.

Slowly, Frey let her hand slide from the mattress over the side of the bed and settled her fingers into the thick black fur of the creature’s neck. The monster lying beside her bed rumbled contentedly and sighed. As his bulk rose and fell gently with his breath, silent tears crept from her eyes and she held her breath to keep from making a sound.


	32. Ill-timed Awakenings

The heavy fog of an exhausted but restless sleep released Frey all at once as a shout of alarm shattered the quiet of her bedroom. She knew that voice… a light, feminine man’s voice she heard often, both at home and around town… A deep, resonating, rumbling growl followed it and as she sat bolt upright realization clicked into place and she flew from the bed and threw her arms around the neck of the gigantic wolf monster, poised and bristling with all the muscular bulk of his forequarters and shoulders bunched tightly with tension and menace.

“BADO STOP!!” She shouted at the top of her lungs, pushing hard with her hands buried in his fur. Vishnal was poised like a rabbit cornered by—well, a wolf—with his body language describing a stalemate between fight and flight clashing in his terrified eyes. The cup and saucer rattled loudly on the tray he was holding, white-knuckled, in his slender hands. Evidently he had decided, today of all days, to bring her breakfast in bed as a surprise. She could have screamed at the sheer misfortune of the coincidence as she poured all her strength into trying to get the attention of the bristling black monster glaring and growling at her boyfriend.

Humanity had left the silver eyes of the snarling beast that had once been her friend. He was every ounce of him a predator, and a hapless piece of prey had stumbled brazenly into his territory.

“F-Frey!!” Vishnal called anxiously. In his frantic articulation of her name she heard his fright and his worry and that he did not intend to run away and leave her in the grasp of this white-fanged, silver-eyed demon. The wolf stepped forward, his gaze still locked on the butler. He hadn’t even noticed Frey’s arms around his neck or her command from a moment ago. She dug her heels in but he pushed her back easily two more paces as he advanced on his prey.

“VISHNAL! YOU HAVE TO RUN!” She roared, mustering all the strength she could and leaning with all the weight and force she could against the monster. He slowed slightly and finally seemed to notice her. With a frustrated growl he shook his head and shoulders to try and dislodge her but she seized both his ears and glared unflinching into the eyes of the beast.

“ _Listen_ to me, you ill-tempered beast!” She hissed. “Get a hold of yourself! I know you don’t really want to be acting this way. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone! So just _stoppit right now_!” The monster looked puzzled at her for a half of a heartbeat and then shook off her hands again with a step backward. He blinked and shook himself again as though a pesky fly had flown into his ear and then resumed glaring at her and stepping sideways to try and go around. She jumped a step to the left to block him again, her arms outstretched and tension lining every muscle in her body.

“Vishnal! Go now!” She barked over her shoulder.

“I’m not going to leave you!” He returned in a wavering voice.

‘Stupid bastard! Now is _not_ the time for your chivalry!’ She thought furiously with clenched teeth. Upon hearing the young butler’s voice, the confusion left those inhuman silver eyes and the beast fixed his attention on the young man once more.

“He won’t hurt me, but he might _kill_ you! Get. Out. Now!!” She spat furiously.

“But—“

“VISHNAL!” She roared, tears of fury and frustration lining the rims of her wide eyes as she dodged right to block the path of the monster as he tried to get around her and towards Vishnal, his long, cruel fangs bared.

“I WON’T!” The young man returned at volume, and threw the tray aside with a crash, drawing out two short swords from beneath his butler’s coat and planting his feet. The sudden din of the breaking dishes startled her just long enough for the wolf to slip just outside of her reach and bolt around her. He charged straight for the butler at full throttle, a jagged snarl erupting from his throat as the bristling fur made a black blur of him as he leapt to deal a killing blow. Vishnal bared the dual blades like twin fangs of his own and thrust them forward.

Panic shot through the princess of Selphia as her boyfriend and the man-turned-monster she had come to call her dearest friend prepared to destroy each other. She heard threw her hands forward and heard herself shout “NO!” a fraction of a second after the light magic spell materialized between the man and the wolf. A shining golden wall of light blazed into existence just in time for the nightmarishly huge wolf to slam into it with a cut-off snarl that quickly broke into a startled keen of pain and confusion and then there was silence except for the gasping, panting breath of the young butler. The light faded and the dual blades slipped from Vishnal’s hands and clattered to the floor. Just before him, mounded high in a disorderly heap of fur and limbs the wolf lay motionless, a spatter of blood flecking the marble floor around his head.

“No!” Frey gasped and darted forward. She dropped to her knees and slid slightly on the floor as she reached out to lift the head of the creature and know if he yet lived. Fear closed her throat and sound seemed to stop altogether. She could not register Vishnal’s voice as he called to her, but only turned the head of the monster slightly and worked her fingers into the fur on his neck, pressing her fingers to his throat. The steady thrum of a pulse found her fingertips and she let out her breath in a shuddering surrender of relief. She cupped her hand in front of the black, wet nose and felt the breath of the monster on her skin.

“Oh… thank all the divine dragons of this world…” she breathed. The world came back to her ears and her mind and she felt Vishnal shaking her shoulder presently and heard him call to her.

“Frey! We’ve got to get out of here! He needs to be locked up where he won’t hurt anyone. You can’t stay with him when he’s like this!” The butler’s anxious voice spurred a white-hot anger in her and she whirled on him with wrath in full bloom.

“GET OUT!” She roared. “I told you to leave! If you’d just _listened_ to me I wouldn’t have had to hurt him!”

“But, Frey—“

“I already know he won’t hurt me and I won’t leave him!” He gripped both her shoulders and pulled her backward to her feet.

“Frey, I know you want to help him, but this is crazy! When it’s the day of the full moon he can’t be reasoned with! He’s not in control of himself. That isn’t Bado right now. You have to see that!” She spun around, wrenching herself free of his grip and glaring fiercely at him.

“No!” She barked. “I was there on the last full moon and I know what I saw. I know what he is! He’s in there and he won’t hurt me! If you hadn’t barged in here nothing would have happened! I was going to take him out to the forest today so he’ll be out of everyone’s way. And now I’ve knocked him out cold _again_ because you just had to be a freaking white knight and try to fight him! What would make you think I’d want you to turn a sword on him anyway?! What was your plan, Vish? Were you going to _kill_ Bado?!” She gestured to the unconscious, prostrate wolf in exasperation and distantly realized tears were streaming down her face.

“No, I—“

“Just, do me a favor and don’t come to my rescue, okay? I know you mean to help, but this is just not a situation it’s safe for other people to get involved in. I promise I know what I’m doing and I promise I won’t get hurt, so please, Vishnal…” She looked at him imploringly, tears still glistening in her eyes. “Trust me.” He cringed at her and then drooped with a sigh.

“As you wish, princess. I don’t understand and I don’t like this at all… but I hear you and I _am_ listening.” He reached out a hand to her with a pained air. “It’s very difficult to let you go unaided into a situation that appears as dangerous as this… but… I’m sorry… for messing it up today. I will try to have more faith that you can handle this best out of all of us, going forward.” Frey stared up at him in mild disbelief. She had become so accustomed to having her confidence and her assertions dismissed that his acceptance shocked her. Maybe he was only desperate to keep in her good favor, but this young man, her suitor, was actually setting aside his feelings to try his best at honoring her wishes. She stood up slowly and walked over to him, gazing curiously into his eyes. He stiffened anxiously as she drew close, fretting visibly, but she did not scold him.

The sense of gratitude and relief was overwhelming. She wanted to show him, to give him _something_ that signified how much it meant to her that he was actually volunteering to trust her to handle this situation in the way she thought best, without lecturing her or doubting her or trying to step in. She stood very close to him—close enough to hear his thudding heartbeat—and leaned in…

Whether kissing him was the right way to show her feelings just now or not, she could hardly expect herself to know. But as her lips pressed his briefly, the warmth and rush of it pulled her into a dreamlike feeling, half floating, half sunk into a careless bliss. It faded in a moment as she drew away, but the familiar feeling that this was not unknown to her came back to Frey, now. They blinked at each other, mystified. Vishnal’s cheeks were pink and the warmth in Frey’s suggested hers looked quite the same.

“Thank you.” She said softly, just above a whisper. He said nothing, staring at her still in a dazed fashion. She walked back over to the huge monster lying on her bedroom floor and knelt beside him. His breathing seemed peaceful, though there was blood on his lips from where his teeth had cut his tongue and mouth upon colliding with the wall of light she magically conjured. She lifted the massive head into her lap, cradling it gently and stroking the pointed ears after she had let the weight of him onto her legs. Then she took a deep, slow breath and bent over him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tightly to her.

“Return.” She whispered, and disappeared along with the huge wolf in a flash of blueish-white light.


	33. His Struggle to Return

Aside from the blood drying on his lips, one could hardly have known the huge black beast was not sleeping peacefully of his own accord, Frey thought as she gently stroked the soft, dense fur atop his head. She smiled down at the wolf affectionately for a moment, an apologetic curve to her brow as she did so.

“Sorry this always seems to happen on the full moon.” She murmured. “Next time I’ll take you far away so that there won’t be any reason to knock you out.” Dusk was falling. He’d spent most of the day unconscious and though Ventuswill, having heard Frey’s explanation of the situation, did not seem at all concerned, Frey felt inclined to fret over her charge and so she had spent most of the day in the locked barn with the unconscious wolf-Bado.

Finally she felt a stirring in him and a shrill whine sounded in his throat as the beast lifted his head and blinked his silver eyes open. He looked up at her and then stood, shaking himself and glancing around the room. Finding only the familiar surroundings of the barn he seemed to relax and he turned back to her. A slight fear crept up Frey’s back but she did not flinch as the huge snuffling nose of the creature combed over her briefly before lifting high in the air.

“Oh, it’s right here.” She laughed softly and pulled a platter that had been sitting next to a nearby hay bale closer. She whipped off the hand towel to reveal a heaping pile of fish fillets and nudged the platter toward the now salivating wolf. He bent his neck and devoured the fish eagerly, then sat back on his haunches and licked his chops. Frey chuckled again.

“You are pretty docile after all.” She hummed. He stood, took a step over closer and licked her hands as she petted his head and muzzle before flopping down all at once with a contented sigh and laying his huge head in her lap once more. For a long while she merely sat and smiled and petted the huge creature, taking comfort in the simple exchange of affection without any complicated feelings attached. For all the other potential troubles, at least she got to have a little break from her not-quite-requited feelings when Bado was an animal.

Hopefully Vishnal wouldn’t speak a word of the morning’s unfortunate events to anyone else. For a moment, Frey’s imagination wandered off with her after the trail of the hypothetical situation wherein Volkanon and Ventuswill _did_ come to know that wolf Bado had charged Vishnal. Volkanon would insist he be imprisoned… Ventuswill would agree, out of concern for the citizens, which were her duty to protect. A fierce defiance flared in her and her teeth clenched silently. She’d take her canine familiar and flee if she had to. She could survive in the wild and so could he. It would be better than surrendering him to waste away in a prison cell, anyway…

Bado whined and leaned in to lick her face, snapping her out of her dark train of thought.

“Oh, sorry…” She mumbled. “I drifted off for a bit.” She put her attention into stroking his head and ears very delicately, still worried over the impact he’d suffered against the wall of light magic that morning. He did seem a little wobbly and subdued, now. He shifted his weight on his folded legs and shimmied a little closer, wrapping his great bulk partway around her and re-settling his head in her lap. Then he sighed hugely through his nose and his eyelids drooped slightly. The princess chuckled softly and smiled at the huge monster, but after a moment her face grew concerned again.

“Then again…” She murmured, barely audible, “You’d probably never agree to run away with me when you are anything but a wolf… I can just hear you now: ‘You can’t throw away your life just to go trapesing off to save an old wolf from a little misfortune.’ Or something like that…” Wolf Bado did not stir or show any sign of understanding her words. She sighed. “But, here’s the thing, Bado: I’m not going to be happy as long as you are in this mess. I can’t rest while you suffer. I care too much and I can’t let you go… so you’re not doing me any favors trying to be selfless…” She continued to stroke his furry head and ears as she spoke such earnest words, more direct and clear than she dared to be with his normal self. “I wish I could make you see that…”

She sighed again and adjusted herself, making the beast stir and lift his head. Leaning against his huge, furry side she curled up and tried her best to shut out the feelings that troubled her. Wolf Bado curved more tightly around her and sniffed concernedly at her hair and hands before settling down, himself. Together the strange pair dozed restlessly in the late afternoon and well into the night.

It wasn’t until the small hours of the morning that the soft, frustrated growling and snuffling drew Frey out of her uneasy truce with sleep. She shifted herself and craned her neck to see the tension around the eyes and mouth of the wolf monster beside her. He was twitching and huffing in a peculiar, unsettling manner as if his dreams were nightmares. Frey reached out and stroked his head, gently murmuring reassurance. He grew more peaceful for a beat and then opened his eyes. The wild, silver irises had no trace of her friend as she knew him in them. She swallowed silently.

Wolf Bado stood up and turned around twice in the somewhat limited space inside the barn. He was an exceptionally large wolf, after all, and the barn was not exactly large enough to accommodate dragons…

“What’s wrong?” Frey called, knowing full well he could not answer. The huge black beast let out a growl that became an anxious whine halfway through and sniffed at the closed door to the barn, putting out an enormous paw to push experimentally on it. “You know I can’t just let you out tonight. But I won’t leave. I’ll stay with you.” She said in a gentle voice. The monster did not turn around, though one of his tall ears turned halfway toward her.

For all the back-and-forth ambiguity between Bado’s dwarf self and his wolf self, this creature before her sure didn’t seem like anything but an animal. He did not appear to understand speech or remember anything about the situation beyond what his bestial senses could tell him. Sure, he’d stopped trying to attack her since the last full moon, but if she didn’t know any better, she’d have thought the huge black monster was nothing more or less than an unusually large wolf that she had tamed just the same as any other monster in her care, grown accustomed to her but still a wild animal in his heart.

Frey watched her changed friend pace anxiously until he became visibly agitated, scratching and digging by the door and whining almost constantly. Finally she stood and crossed the barn to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging his big wedge-shaped head to her chest.

“Hey, hey…” She cooed. “Settle down, silly. You’re safe here.” The tail of the wolf thumped against the floor of the barn and he licked her face and leaned into her affectionate ministrations, but the tension in him did not subside. “I know what you need.” She said finally, straightening up and crossing the barn to the small chest in the corner. From this she drew out the monster brush and fitted the strap over her little hand. “Come here.” She called, patting her thigh with the other hand.

Wolf Bado’s ears pricked up and he tilted his head at her from across the room briefly before walking steadily over and settling himself down in front of her and panting with a wolf grin and his tongue hanging out while she set to work brushing through his thick, heavy coat. The simple task was easy for both of them to lose themselves in, it seemed. Relief seeped into her as Frey focused single-mindedly on dragging the thick bristled brush through the seemingly endless quantity of dense black fur. Brushing him always took well over an hour, and more so when he was fully changed. For his part, Wolf Bado patiently moved according to her touch and silently savored the attention. At least he was distracted from his restlessness for the time being, she thought.

‘It must be well after moonrise already.’ The thought flitted through her mind. How long before the full moon released its total grip on his form? Would she be able to tell when a little of Bado the man came back? She hadn’t been there last time, and on top of that, last time he couldn’t remember himself right away. With no one else but the wolf around, she couldn’t pretend to herself she wasn’t nervous about it. A thousand what-ifs tried to tug at the edges of her mind and she did her best to shake them off.

‘Don’t borrow trouble.’ She mumbled to herself. ‘It’ll be fine. Just wait and see…’

When she finally finished brushing her huge monster friend, ending with a vigorous run-through of his furry belly as he flopped on his back—this was always the way he preferred to end a brushing session, especially when it was close to the full moon—she stood up and stretched with a sigh and a slight smile.

“You’re a pretty high maintenance pet, my friend.” She teased. He had said it wasn’t so bad being a pet, and she supposed that were true, given that _he_ didn’t have to worry about anything as long as she was tasked with taking care of him like a pet and tending to his every need.

The black wolf stood up and shook himself before stepping close and nuzzling and licking her in every place she could not defend with her little hands. The little whines and huffing woofs that came from him now were lighthearted and full of affection. She chuckled softly as she playfully batted away his snuffling muzzle and he tried another avenue to get to her face and lick her.

For a moment she thought he’d recovered from his earlier anxiousness but as the sound of a cluckadoodle rooster crowing to announce the glow of pre-dawn rising over the tree line he ducked his head and whined, pawing over his ears as if something pained him suddenly.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” She called, reaching out to him. He thrashed his head back and forth, pawing over it in an uncoordinated fashion and springing this way and that occasionally as though he were trying to escape a swarm of bees. “Bado!” Frey shouted, anxiety rising up in her belly. “Hey!” He whined shrilly again and pushed his head down against the floor, scraping at his ears with his long-nailed paws. She rushed forward and pushed the scrabbling paws down again before cradling the great head once more and shushing him with frantic strokes over his head, now scratched and bleeding in places by his own nails. “Stop that right now! You’re going to hurt yourself. There’s nothing to fear. You’re safe here, Bado.” She insisted.

“Hhhhrr—rrhh—fff—ff-frrrey!!” He stuttered over the sounds until finally blurting out her name in a piteous whine, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her heart jumped into her throat and she blinked back sudden tears in her eyes.

“I’m here, Bado. What’s the matter? Are you hurt?” She breathed anxiously.

“Hhh—hh-urrts!” He wailed and whined. “Hhh—hh—eelp!”

“What hurts? What’s wrong?” She cried, hugging and petting him. It was all she could think to do. He trembled and twitched, whining through rasping breaths. Drool dripped in long strands from his black wolf’s lips, drawn back in a grimace. “I’m here. What can I do? What hurts?” He did not answer, but only panted raggedly. Seized by a sudden idea, Frey hummed and murmured a cure spell, bathing the room in a silvery green light as she poured her rune energy out through the magic. She wasn’t sure what exactly was afflicting him, but her basic first aid spell wouldn’t hurt at least, even if it didn’t help. Whether from the magic itself, or her sing-song-ing murmurs, he calmed almost immediately, though his breathing did not slow down very much. He kept his eyes closed and drooped limply in her outstretched arms.

Frey had no idea how long she sat there with his head in her lap and stroked him gently, all the while speaking soft words of reassurance and encouragement. Sometime after sunrise, by the tiny shafts of light peeking in through the small windows near the roof of the barn, he finally stirred again. He barely lifted his head and blinked blearily at her. The eyes were still totally silver in color but in them she saw the consciousness of her friend again. She nearly sobbed as she recognized him through those eyes.

“F-Frey…” he breathed weakly. “S-so hard to come back… it hurts…” Tears spilled over her eyelids and she pressed her forehead against his, torn painfully between grief at his evident suffering and an overwhelming relief to have him back.

“Bado—“ She choked, trying to sound reassuring around her broken speech, “It’s okay… it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be fine…” all the while having no way of knowing whether she were trying to reassure him or herself, more…


	34. Returned From Certainty

“Oh, Princess! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Vishnal’s voice was so saturated with concern it stopped Frey in her tracks and seeing his face wracked with worry she dimly realized there were still dried tears tracked down her cheeks. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand and sniffed.

“I’m okay. Bado’s not doing too well, though. He’s ill… I think.” He winced slightly, torn between the fear and guilt form before and wanting desperately do undo whatever was giving her pain.

“Ill?”

“Yeah… He had a rough night. Changing back this morning after the full moon was really hard on him. He isn’t eating or drinking on his own right now. He barely moves, and it feels like he might have a fever.

“He’s been like that all day?” Vishnal replied, his brows bent with worry, still. Frey nodded sadly, and stepped around the butler to continue into the kitchen. She carried a basket of washcloths and a steaming teapot in a basket on her arm, and was pouring broth from a pot on the stove into a tall ceramic jar with a wide mouth. Finally, she bound a waxed cloth lid over the top of the jar and hefted it into the crook of her arm, turning to leave the way she came. Talking about this was only making it hurt more.

“Wait…” Vishnal called, and rushed after her, taking up the basket and smiling meekly at her. “Let me help. It’s the least I can do, after… well after yesterday.” She blinked at him and then nodded.

Together they walked in silence across the fields behind the castle until they reached the barn. Vishnal startled ever so slightly as Frey pushed the door of the barn open. The great heap of black fur and haphazardly arranged limbs looked like a felled beast, dead by a well-aimed arrow, rather than a sick monster safely housed on an Earthmate’s farm. Wolf Bado lay on his side, limp and motionless except for the slight rise and fall of his chest in time with the shallow breaths that huffed out of his open jaws. His tongue flopped out of his long muzzle and lay listlessly on the floor of the barn and his eyes were shut, but not in the relaxed manner of a dreamer. Everything about him spoke exhaustion and discomfort.

Frey directed Vishnal to set down the basket near a folded blanket where she had been sitting earlier and tending to her friend. He knelt beside her and in a surprising show of perceptiveness, began to soak a washcloth in the steaming hot water from the jar and wring it out. He handed her the warm, damp cloth silently, apparently not noticing the way she stared thoughtfully at him.

She wiped the muzzle, head and ears of the wolf monster lying in front of them without a single ounce of effort to disguise the tenderness with which she touched him or the worry in her eyes. If her boyfriend could not abide the love she bore her suffering friend, then their relationship was not what she wanted, anyhow. But the young butler did not show any inclination to balk or disapprove her ministrations of the werewolf at all. He sat by, patient and silent, assisting where he could and offering none of the aura of reticence he had exuded up until now wherever Bado the werewolf was concerned.

After dampening the fur all about the large head and neck of the huge wolf, his breathing seemed to grow a little quieter. Frey pressed his head with her palm and pulled back his black lips to check his gums. The color was returning slowly to the flesh of his mouth and he was not so fever-hot anymore. She sighed and drooped with a potent sense of relief. Vishnal reached out and touched her shoulder gently. Looking up her eyes met his and saw a mirror of her alieved fears and she felt a twinge of surprise and gratitude for the young man all at once. A soft groan called her attention back to the huge dark form of wolf Bado as he stirred.

The wolf’s face grimaced again briefly and then gingerly blinked his eyes open. His snout had been pointed at Frey already and as the silver eyes lighted upon her his ears perked up and he raised his head with an effort and gazed at her. The expression in his canine face was somewhat difficult to read by human standards, but having spent so much time with him already, Frey recognized it instantly. Equal parts adoration and relief poured out from that face. The long snout, blunted at the end with the same angular quality of his dwarf self’s features, reached out to her and a hoarse voice, nonetheless familiar called out softly.

“Frey… you’re still here…” He spoke the words in a tone made unsteady by wonderment. Her heart twinged and fluttered abruptly. Had he expected her to leave him? Then with a start, Frey realized dusk had already fallen while she and Vishnal had been tending to him. So, then, he was happy to see that she remained though the sun had set and the moon was up? The words his waning self had spoken the night before last came back to her:

“No more leaving when the moon rises.” Her eyes burned briefly and she parted her lips to reply. Just then the luminous silver eyes flicked sideways and fell on Vishnal. The great beast twitched visibly, startled and unsettled by the presence of the young man. He scrambled to his feet clumsily and backed up, his head ducked low and ears turned back and flattened against his head. He did not snarl or growl, but the pupils of his wild eyes were constricted and tension lined every muscle.

“O-oh…” Vishnal said suddenly, “I, um… Perhaps I should go. You will, um… you’ll be alright?” Frey nodded and blinked in surprise as her suitor leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before turning to leave and casting one more glance at the werewolf, now backed up against the wall and watching him with rapt focus. Wolf Bado’s eyes remained on the door even after it swung shut behind the butler after he exited the barn.

Fear and uncertainty… she knew what she saw in her monster friend. Vishnal may have thought the aggression of the fully transformed werewolf of the previous day was repeating itself to a degree, but Frey knew better. Already her heart ached from the suffering of her friend over the last twenty four hours and further by the fear she saw in him as soon as he found another person with them in the barn, but a moment later it was almost as though she had been pierced with a knife.

The silver eyes of the almost fully wolf Bado turned back to her and her breath stopped in her throat. Hurt and shock and sorrow permeated him and emanated from him all at once. She needed to— _had_ to go to him. Before she knew her legs had moved her she was across the barn, hugging him around the neck and burying her face in the thick fur behind his ear and jaw.

“Please… I can’t live with it if you look at me like that.” She begged, dimly realizing there were tears in her eyes again. “I won’t let another soul in here if you don’t want me to. I’ll stay out here every night if you’ll just stop… please…” A tremor went through him, palpable as she held him tightly.

“Frey…” He said in that shaky voice again. She loosened her grip and leaned back. He was still fearful and confusion was written in his eyes too, now, but that expression of fathomless sadness… that unmistakable heartbreak had retreated, to her immediate relief. “What did I do? What have I said to you?” The words were slow to come and thick in his mouth, but she understood him well enough.  She swallowed and looked apprehensively into his eyes, unsure whether it would give him relief or more pain to know what his mostly beast self had said to her the night before last.

“You… didn’t want me to go. You wanted me to stay out here with you, but we ended up at the castle.” She said quietly, watching him closely for his reaction.

“W-was that all?” he returned, trembling.

“No…” Her voice barely came. “You, um… you said I h-had to be with you… you said I—I’m yours, so I shouldn’t leave at night.”

“Gods, strike me down…” He breathed, shutting his eyes tightly and shaking his head. “Frey I’m so sorry. I—I lost myself. The beast, it—it _takes over_ somehow, bit by bit and I can’t f-fight it when the full moon gets close…”

“It’s okay, Bado…” She returned in a gentle voice, and reached out to him. He looked up at her, alarmed and she stayed her hand.

“No i-it’s _not_ okay! It couldn’t be less okay! Frey, please… please know I—I don’t consider myself entitled to _anything_ from you… I feel terrible, I… Th—there’s just no _excuse_ for saying something like that to you, for being… _possessive_ of you…” He stared wretchedly at her.

Frey leaned forward and opened her mouth again to speak. There was a question on her tongue; one she burned to know the answer to… but the anxious, desperately sorry expression on the face of the person, though wrapped in the form of a wolf, who had suffered so much over the past day and night, stopped her. She recalled Ventuswill’s previous words to him: ‘it’s good to see you’re still unwilling to lie directly to my face.’ Somehow she was certain that given the direct form of a question, unanswerable except by a simple truth or a bold-faced lie, Bado _could not_ lie or mislead his interlocutor, whether he be man or beast at that given moment. This peculiar truce, where he she did not ask and he did not say… she had a strong feeling she knew what the true answers to these questions were, but fear clutched her by the remaining strands of uncertainty. If she was right… if he couldn’t lie, she’d be struck down by the truth if it were not the one she hoped for in her heart.

So, she did not ask if he wanted her to belong to him, whatever he felt he didn’t have the right to ask for. She did not know whether the words his wolf self had spoken were the truth of his heart or the instincts of an alpha wolf jealously guarding his territory, and she wouldn’t know.

“I forgive you. Please take it easy, Bado. It’s been a rough day. You need to rest and relax.” She said the words calmly and gently. He stared at her for one moment longer, searchingly, before shrinking down toward the floor and placing his head in her now outstretched hands. She cuddled his furry face close against her chest and nuzzled him affectionately between his tall, pointed ears. “That’s better.” She murmured. “The last thing you need is to worry yourself to pieces. I hope you know I wouldn’t hold that against you, anyway…”

“That’s only because you are too easy on me…” He said quietly in return, his tone a little shadow of his usual joking self. He was still full of vulnerability, barely held together, but he was trying… trying to pretend everything was well enough to joke. She swallowed hard and pushed down the impulse to let the burning in her eyes become tears.

They stayed that way a long while. This, another strange unspoken truce, wherein Frey bestowed all the loving kindness she could draw up from the limitless well of her affection for him, and he soaked it up in his curious, unassuming way, always with an aura of barely believing he was the beneficiary of such good fortune. In moments like these, she didn’t give a damn what it looked like, or how anyone, Vishnal included, would have interpreted the way she delicately smoothed her fingers over the edges of his ears or pressed her nose and mouth into the fur atop his head. Just because she hadn’t declared the gentle affection she bore her friend by that four letter word he had described as so complicated and troublesome didn’t mean he did not know it anyway. There wasn’t any other way to interpret the way she carefully tended to him, singularly focused on comforting and supporting. Even so, she was willing to bet he was as unwilling to presume a particular one or more of the _other_ meanings of that pesky word that was curled up silently between them as she was to admit it.

But… as always, it was easy to push that feeling away, deep down into her heart and bury it when she saw him like this. The creature before her was a wolf. He had four legs that ended in paws with long dark nails. From the long bottle-brush tail to the tip of his broad snout, capped with a wet, shining black nose, he was an animal. His black lips, lolling tongue, and long pointed gleaming fangs that showed whenever he opened his mouth further drove it home. So, she poured reassurance and tenderness over him unreservedly. After all, there was no way to confuse this situation as long as he walked on four feet.

“I’ll stay out here tonight.” She said quietly. He stirred free of her and flipped his ears back.

“No, Frey, you can’t possibly—“

“You’ve been sick all day with a fever and not even _conscious_ until just a little while ago, Bado. I’m not leaving you alone and it’s no more than I would do for any other monster in my care, so don’t argue.”

“But—“ He began to protest again, but she cupped a hand over his muzzle, making him turn his ears forward in surprise again.

“I said no arguments! No one who cares about you would knowingly leave you alone when you’ve been in such bad shape, Bado, regardless of whether you’re a man or a monster.” She released his snout and he sighed but looked sheepishly glad at her when he lifted his silver eyes to her green ones again. The princess of Selphia smiled in return and scratched under the chin of her peculiar friend.

“That’s more like it.” She hummed.


	35. Reason & Madness

Frey sat on her heels, forming a triangle with Kiel and the huge, stooped wolf sitting on his haunches in the barn with her. The young man smiled cheerfully as he thumbed through the enormous tome in his lap, bits of colored paper sticking out here and there to mark particular pages.

“So, how did the two of you sleep?” Kiel chimed. Bado shifted his weight uncomfortably and Frey glanced away sideways.

“Fine… It’s surprisingly warm in the barns, even though it’s winter.” Frey said quietly, trying to force all the nervousness out of her voice before she spoke.

“That’s good.” Kiel replied airily, “It’s sure nice you two can keep each other company like that.” Frey practically felt Bado squirm before realizing she was feeling herself wince as she heard his breath tighten. This particular young man, though as naïve, unassuming, and optimistic as any person possibly _could_ be, had an uncanny knack for saying precisely the thing that would unsettle you most, even though you knew he never intentionally implied anything.

“I was ill yesterday.” Bado hurried to clarify. “Frey was just keeping an eye on me because of that.”

“Oh, I hope you are feeling better now.”

“Yeah, thanks, I am.”

“So, what have you found out, Kiel?” Frey interjected, feeling she and Bado would both suffer the least embarrassment and discomfort if the three of them stayed on topic as much as possible.

“Oh, right!” The lad chirped, perking up brightly, “So, all recorded cases of lycanthropic afflictions in Norad are very consistent. Humans always change on the night of a full moon, and Dwarves always change gradually throughout the lunar cycle. Elves seem to run far away and disappear after the transformation, so no one knows whether they change back or not, since they are never heard from or seen again.” Frey shuddered. “Oh, and humans tend to get the worst of the bloodlust. Most cases of lycanthropy involving human victims result in a lot of violent deaths and rapid spread of the affliction to survivors who are injured. Dwarves, it seems, retain more of their own minds in the beginning, so they are less likely to kill, but on the other hand that does result in more secondary cases—”

“Kiel…” Frey called suddenly, wanting to spare her friend this rapid, clinical divulgence of other examples of his terrible fate. “Slow down a little, please?”

“Oh, sure.” He replied, smiling brightly still.

“You don’t call it a ‘curse’.” Bado pointed out suddenly, staring hard somewhere past Kiel.

“Well, no. It behaves much more like a blood-borne illness. Like a virus, you know? A curse often has to do with magic or the involvement of non-corporeal entities like spirits, according to Pico and Dolce, but this is something that acts just plain infectious. Apparently there have been recorded cases where folks who slew werewolves got splattered with their blood and transformed on the next full moon even though they had never technically been bitten.”

Frey and Bado stared, Frey going slightly pale and Bado’s silvery eyes widening.

“But you know,” Continued Kiel, “It’s only _like_ a virus, cause none of the normal methods of curing viruses seem to work. And vaccinating sure turned out badly in the one instance it was tried, let me tell you—“

“We should probably try and skip to whatever you know about _curing_ it, first, at least.” Frey said, trying to steer Kiel into discussing more hopeful information for the benefit of her friend.

“Ah, yes. Allegedly, there is some kind of link between the original source of the lycanthropy and the secondary cases that occur from it. Some folks believe that it always starts with an actual wolf whose spirit gets disrupted or contaminated somehow. It didn’t come out of the forest of beginnings quite right so it’s blended with the blood of the monster in a way it oughtn’t be. The result is that blood contact with the monster, like being bitten, contaminates the victim with the spirit of the monster—well, that’s the theory, anyhow. But this is where we leave the scientific explanation and get pretty dangerously close to mysticism. There’s no observable or demonstrable link been proven between the monster and the person who is later a lycanthrope, and yet, it has been repeatedly claimed that defeating the original werewolf, that is, the afflicted monster who is the source of it, sends the spirit and all the fragments that have corrupted the victims back to the forest of the beginnings, lifting the so-called ‘curse’. And there’s no recorded proof that anyone has ever been ‘cured’ this way, but like I said, this explanation for how to cure the victims shows up all over the place in records taken down independently of one another.”

“And that’s why Forte’s so insistent on killing wolves, I’ll bet?” Bado replied in a strained voice.

“Yep.” Kiel chimed. “Give her a problem that can be solved by fighting something with a sword and there’s nothing at all to keep her from doing just that.”

“No matter what anyone else has to say about it…” The wolfish voice grumbled. It must have been rather conspicuous the way Frey refused to respond to this comment, for Kiel looked very intent and curiously at her for a long moment after, until Bado himself finally glanced sidelong at the princess as well before clearing his throat. “Anyway… do you know anything else about curing it?” He turned his silver eyes back to his adopted foster son.

“Nothing definite. Human cases most commonly result in the afflicted person being killed by fearful folk who would rather know for certain that they couldn’t harm them than try to cure them and risk spreading the sickness.” Bado winced. “And, dwarven cases seem to follow a pattern where the person is either similarly killed or flees into the wilderness. They don’t run immediately the way elves seem to, but they do disappear eventually, one way or another. There is one description of a dwarf who was cured but unfortunately the method is not certain and she… well, apparently she never fully recovered.”

“What? How was she cured but not recovered?” Frey asked with anxiety threading through her voice.

“It’s not entirely clear, but it sounds like she was insane. She might have been mentally unfit from the beginning or it could have come about in conjunction with her case of lycanthropy. Some of these records are hundreds of years old, you know. Werewolves are not common things.  So, basically it’s hard to say much for certain.” Bado sighed and looked unfocused into the distance fretfully. Frey’s fingers found their way into the fur of his neck and scratched behind his ears in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. After all, there was little point in hiding their interactions from Kiel.

“I’ll keep digging of course. Arthur says he will take me to the capitol to research in the King’s library!”

“Oh really?” Bado somehow managed to assume a nostalgic sort of air like a parent humoring a child’s fancies, despite his canine visage.

“Yep! If the information can be found anywhere, I’m betting I can find it there!” Bado huffed a chuckle, distorted somewhat by the throat of the wolf, but recognizable nonetheless.

“Thanks, kiddo.” He said affectionately. Kiel nodded brightly and stood up to leave.

“I better get back to it so we can get you back to your old self as soon as possible!” He chirped, nodded to Frey in turn and bobbed out the door with his ever-sprightly steps. As soon as he disappeared through the barn door, however, the great head of the black wolf beside Frey drooped and a weary sigh escaped him.

“Bado?” She called softly, ever worried for his emotional state as a result of the curse. He reluctantly turned his head to her. “What’s wrong?” He sighed again.

“Kiel said that dwarf woman lost her mind… What if…” He began anxiously, then closed his mouth and swallowed before continuing, “What if I don’t make it out of this whole, Frey? What if I lose my mind to this monster? Will I wake up one day only a wolf and never remember who I was again?” Immediately Frey’s hands pulled the wolf’s head close and she set her forehead against his, willing reassurance into him as best she could.

“It won’t come to that…” She whispered, “But even if that ever happens I will always take care of you. I promise.”

“What are you going to do with a mad, rabid wolf you little fool?” He laughed in a choked voice.

“I don’t care.” She answered stubbornly. “I’m not giving up on you.” He wriggled his head free of her grasp and set it over her shoulder, curving his neck to give her the best approximation of a hug that he could in this state.

“What on earth are you, Frey? No one says stuff like that seriously…” He sighed.

“ _I_ do.” Her voice was set with determination. It might be ignorance, or stubbornness or something even more foolish that made her so certain, but it really didn’t matter.

“I suppose that’s what makes you so special.” He said, half thoughtful, half whimsical. Always making it difficult to know for sure what he meant by what he said…

“C’mon. We’ve done enough moping around. I’ll bet being outside would perk you up.” She said, patting his bulky shoulders.

“Alright, keeper. Lead the way.” He said lightly, and followed her out of the barn as docile and placid as any monster she’d ever seen.

Given that only a day had passed since the full moon, Bado the wolf did not have the advantage of having thumbs or being able to walk on two legs as of yet. So, Frey had him carry a basket in his teeth to and from the shipping bin, carrying veggies to and fro without a word of complaint. At one point, she stopped and smirked at him.

“What?” He demanded. She chuckled.

“I wonder… Maybe you _aren’t_ nearly as lazy as you’d like us all to believe. Seems like you’ve been plenty willing to work as hard as I do on my farm…” She bent an eyebrow at him mischievously.

“Hey now!” He replied, sounding stung, and his ears flipped back. “Don’t go telling anybody that drivel! It takes a lot of effort to work up a reputation where nobody expects anythin’ outa me, ya know! You’re liable to ruin years of careful strategizing if you spill the beans!” She laughed aloud and he wolf-grinned back at her.

“Fair enough. I’ll just keep that one in my back pocket so I can blackmail you whenever I like.” She grinned.

“Yikes!” He returned. “You’re a lot more wicked than you look, huh?”

“Playing with the likes of you, I have to take advantages where I can get ‘em.” She ruffled his ears and turned away to resume picking veggies. Even without seeing him, though, she could picture his expression as he huffed a mockingly indignant noise behind her.

Farm work had always been a gratifying kind of escape for Frey. Not that she typically had an abundance of hardships to escape from, but on days when her lost past troubled her nothing was so likely to keep her blissfully in the present than the simple steps of planting, watering, and harvesting crops. By the way he grew quiet and untroubled as he paced back and forth between the fields and the shipping bin, she supposed it might give the same benefit to him. Divine Dragons knew he had plenty to want to escape from…

The pair worked steadily until dusk, when Frey stretched and sighed and gave a beckoning gesture in wolf-Bado’s direction.

“C’mon. Let’s get some dinner.” She said, both tired and satisfied at their productivity that day. His ears turned up and he hesitated.

“I don’t think I should be going in the castle, Frey…” He said slowly.

“Nonsense. You’re you. You just _look_ different right now.” He shifted uncomfortably. “C’mon. If you’re stuck like this for the time being, we’d better get people used to it. You can’t just isolate yourself, and even though I’m happy to spend my days with you, you’d probably better interact with more people than just me, or you’re going to forget how to be a proper citizen. How will you sell your wares if you forget how to talk to people, anyhow?” She flicked a hand as if brushing away such ridiculous notions. He hesitated a moment longer before reluctantly stepping toward her as she turned to head for the castle.

“If you say so…” He mumbled.

Despite her assurances, Clorica did gasp and drop the tray she had been carrying as soon as the huge black wolf behind Frey stepped into the kitchen. The tea set shattered as it hit the floor and wolf Bado gave a groan and turned to leave.

“Nope!” Frey barked and seized a big handful of the fur next to his left ear.

“Owww!” He complained with the shrill tone of a dog’s whine mixed with his voice.

“Then quit trying to run away!” Frey retorted. He sulkily plopped his hindquarters onto the marble floor and pouted while she stooped to help Clorica pick up the shattered tea set.

“S-sorry…” Clorica stammered, her face pink. Under normal circumstances, she was exceptionally good at all her duties and would not have fumbled a single dish even if she had fallen asleep while carrying them. “He’s just so big…”

“I can’t help having been born big…” Bado grumbled.

“It’s okay Clorica,” Frey smiled at her friend. “But you should know, Bado is the same person he’s always been. You were never afraid of him before, right?”

“Well, no.” Clorica fidgeted with the tray full of ceramic shards.

“So there’s no need to be afraid now. We’ll keep away during the full moon, so during the times when he _is_ here, no matter what he looks like, just know it’s still him in there and he won’t do any mischief—will you, you big lump?” She nudged him with her elbow. He raised his hackles and looked indignant, flipping his ears back.

“Now _why_ would you even ask such a thing?” He huffed in an exaggerated, haughty voice, “I’m a model citizen!” he finished, raising a paw in what was apparently meant to be an incredibly pompous gesture. Clorica actually smiled and giggled a little while Frey shook her head in exasperation.

“Well, now I know it really is you in there and your awful sense of humor is intact, too.” She said in her slow, sleepy voice.” Bado turned to look at her, surprised but not displeased, by his expression.

“Well, yeah. I didn’t kick the bucket, after all. Old Ventuswill can’t get rid of me _that_ easily.” He chided, shaking himself in a doggish, albeit self-satisfied, way.

“How very true.” Clorica agreed. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay, in a manner of speaking.” She dipped her head slightly as she spoke, a physical gesture of apology. He wolf grinned at her, to Frey’s evident approval.

“Thanks.” He replied very simply, but the princess of Selphia knew all too well the suddenly buoyant spirit within him by the bright shine in his silver eyes and the upright energy of his posture. A warm glow of satisfaction rose up in her chest.

She couldn’t be sure, just now, that her friend had forgiven her or let go her objections to her spending time alone with her werewolf friend, but just now Frey was merely relieved to see someone else in Selphia speaking kindly and calmly to him as if he were still a tall, broad-shouldered dwarf, rather than a huge black wolf with long fangs and moonlight-silver eyes.

“Would you two like to help me make dinner?” Clorica said, somewhat timidly, a moment later.

“Absolutely!” Frey chimed happily. If that wasn’t an olive branch, she didn’t know what was.

“I dunno how useful I can be but I’ll help eat it at least.” Bado teased, padding along behind the two women as they headed for the castle kitchen.

“That sounds about right.” Frey replied sarcastically, but she was grinning over her shoulder at him and he returned a toothy wolf-grin right back.


	36. Their Measured Reticence

Having experienced the whole month-long cycle of Bado’s lycanthropic transformation once before, the second time he gradually shifted back into a man was a considerably more comfortable period for both the werewolf and the princess. Being in the process of having his dwarf-self restored a little day by day made him decidedly more optimistic, cheerful, and agreeable than the reverse case, during which he was liable to be sullen, moody, and silent. Over the next two weeks Frey spent all her time either with her butler boyfriend or her werewolf companion.

With the former, she was fussed and fawned over, and constantly had Vishnal’s very best efforts to spoil her showered upon her head, with mixed results. The young man’s cooking was risky at best, and potentially lethal at worst. It was quite a feat to avoid accidentally being poisoned while simultaneously sparing his feelings as much as possible. At one point just a couple days after the full moon, possibly forgetting momentarily that he was not a wolf monster in truth despite his appearance, Vishnal offered wolf Bado the remainder of a particularly noxious-smelling dinner he had made and the big black beast had snorted and replied with a reproachful look:

“Not on your life, kid.” Much to the embarrassment of the young suitor.

Despite the immediate reluctances of the castle staff, as soon as wolf-Bado spoke with his true voice embarrassment and a sense of social obligation turned the butlers, guests, and other townsfolk accepting of his presence, though they bore very uncharacteristically jumpy temperaments whenever the enormous wolf was present. For the most part, Bado appeared to bear this treatment rather philosophically, sometimes remaining silent and curling up at Frey’s feet like a tired but faithful old dog. Only when they were alone together did he behave more like himself, unreservedly dishing out his absurd sense of humor and growing playful with her so long as no other living soul was around to look upon him and make him self-conscious. The nervous, fearful creature he had been the first few days following his original transformation was not gone entirely, it seemed, and he immediately reverted to such a state as soon as Volkanon, Arthur, Dylas, or anyone else came into the castle or the farm behind it.

Later, once he could comfortably choose whether he would stride along on two or four feet, he put the torn-off trousers on and sat leaning against a tree or wall wherever they went. Frey brushed him and bathed him and fed him and petted him and he, in turn, gave her many affectionate hugs and nuzzling little presses of his canine muzzle. She did come to notice that he only gave this unreserved affection which was usual to their curious relationship when Vishnal was known to be elsewhere and unlikely to intrude on them.

Vishnal himself could hardly wait two days between dates and so virtually every other night she was going to Porcoline’s restaurant, the flower shop, the observatory, or the lake with him. Bado would always nudge her along bidding her have fun and not to do anything he, himself, wouldn’t do, which she pointed out probably included kissing Vishnal, to his snorting, good-humored rebuke. Despite his assurances, though, she could not help but worry over her half-monster charge whenever she was off with her suitor. Yes, he constantly teased her with light hearted jibes about taking forever to kiss the boy, (she hadn’t told him that she’d already done this) yes he settled down apparently quite content to nap and loaf around whenever she left for a date, and yes it had been at Bado’s reassurance and insistence that Frey had even acquiesced to try dating Vishnal, but still her heart could not rest easy on the matter.

When he had woken from that sickly, feverish delirium the hopeful, earnest relief in the silver wolf’s eyes had poured directly into her heart, only to turn into a shard of ice when he had seen Vishnal kneeling near her and backed away with dismay and bewilderment in his canine face. In light of the all-too-clear memory of those powerful emotions radiating from his unguarded self, Frey simply could not completely believe his repeated assertions that he was just fine to spend the evening on his own at the farm and that she should run along and enjoy being young and potentially in love. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that she didn’t entirely _want_ to believe it.

Finally, a few days before the new moon, after he passed through the rather ugly phase of being right on the mannish side of wolf, Frey’s heart began to flutter and jump when Bado, now mostly a man and looking very much himself save for the uncanny teeth, hands, and an extra-pointy quality to his ears, looked at her and smiled softly in an inward way, regardless of what she happened to be doing or saying at the moment. And, those little moments came back to her mind despite her best efforts while she was with Vishnal.

Frey sighed aloud over her soup, inciting an immediate response of fretfulness and apologetic fidgeting from the young butler.

“Is everything alright? I can order us something else if you don’t like lentil soup? I-I’ll go ask Dylas for some grilled seafood instead.”

“No, no. It’s fine I—I’m fine, Vishnal.” She assured, waving him back to his seat with hands outstretched in conciliatory gestures.

“Are you sure? You seem somewhat distracted recently, princess.”

There it was again. That word—that _title_ had come to represent an identity Frey did not have full confidence in, and didn’t quite believe, either. It wasn’t that anyone made her feel that they thought her _unworthy_ of it or anything like that. She was admired and encouraged in her office as town ‘princess’ and she did her duties faithfully, even going so far as to run errands and do favors by request for the townspeople whenever she had a spare moment. Still, though… There was something about it that made her feel she was set apart, never quite in the same group as the rest of the villagers. Perhaps this was meant to elevate her in status or something, but in reality it affected her in a much less favorable way.

This was the origin of her own loneliness. Only one person had fully embraced her with no preoccupation with her role as town princess. Only one person seemed to welcome her company without even apparently noting that she was a ‘princess’. The wolf in her barn, who sometimes took to sleeping peacefully in the woolly barn next door with the wide-eyed, staring ruminants piled all about him and snuggling against him as he snored gently in their midst, was ironically the most understanding, most embracing person she knew. Not once had he made her feel that he expected her to be some ideal. Whenever she was with him, she felt that she was enough. She was not perfect, but she was enough: flawed, vulnerable, fallible and completely treasured and valued above any conceivable riches. Nothing whatsoever could replace the relief and contentment, subtle and half-veiled behind his usual humor, but nonetheless unmistakable as he dozed next to her and sighed happily when she stroked his ears or held his hand.

The more she noticed this, the closer to a man he became over the first half of that month, and the more her dreams began to stray into repeated encounters with him full of very un-ambiguous reactions of her heart, mind, and body… Frey could not wrestle her thoughts off of Bado, even while on one of her frequent dates with Vishnal.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” He pressed, reaching out and squeezing her little hand in his slender one, even more feminine than her own. She swallowed. Guilt would not let her off easily in a case like this, but how could she admit aloud her internal confusion to the person most poorly affected by it?

“Yeah… I’m fine.” She said, smiling as best she could. Vishnal did not appear mollified but he stroked her hand with a thumb and did not press the issue further just then.

Tonight was the new moon, beginning the one day per month that Bado was Bado again, entirely. All that was left were his still-pointed canines. All the gray and black tinges had left his skin, lips, fingers, and toes. All the hair—that wasn’t ordinarily there—had been shed, and his eyes were the gray-blue of the ocean in winter again. The first time he had changed back, this restored view of him had made her heart jump too, but now it was even worse… Her eyes lingered on his muscular shoulders, the masculine angles of his hands, face, and body, and her alabaster skin rose into goose bumps when he broke a long, sleepy silence with his rich, resonant bass voice. If he stared into her eyes she would have to blink and turn her eyes away, blushing faintly but uncontrollably as she did. If his beard tickled her as she hugged him or if she savored to long the warmth and solidity of his substantial frame as his thick arms wrapped around her, she was liable to slip right back into that embrace in her sleep, only in dreams she did not have such acute control of how she reacted to it.

All of this was making it just as difficult if not more so to keep from thinking of him as it had been on her first date with Vishnal the previous month. Her only means of coping was to try and keep silent and listen to the young butler’s excited ramblings about other butlers and butler uniforms and butler evaluations and the curious marker of rank and family that they bore on their sleeves… what were those called again? She couldn’t remember. Gray blue eyes were grabbing hold of her green ones in her memories, having nothing at all in common with the young, bright violet irises of her current interlocutor. Frey sighed silently through her nose, forcing a slight smile as she shook off the images in her mind’s eye again and again throughout the meal.

Later, after they had finished their lunch, he asked if he could see her again later that evening. Sighing, she agreed with a half-smile and they planned to meet in her room just after sundown. Despite his obvious anxiety over her subdued mood that day, Vishnal seemed fired up just like when he was getting ready for some kind of butler assessment or milestone for his training or career.

“I’ll see you tonight, my princess.” He hummed, blind to the way she drooped tiredly when he said such things, and pulled her against him. She blinked, startled by the ardent firmness of his embrace. He turned his head, carefully letting his breath slip out next to her hear before kissing her cheek slowly… deliberately. A warm flush came into her cheeks and Frey stared at him as he pulled away, turned and left, unable to resist casting one more love-struck glance back over his shoulder.

She was left standing in the hall of the Southeast corridor of the castle, trying to figure out what she had just seen. Before long, though, her feet began to carry her automatically to the barn that Bado had made his temporary home, just as they always did these days whenever she was not otherwise engaged. She opened the door quietly, staring vaguely downward into an unseen distance.

“Hey, little one.” Bado called pleasantly between casual flicks of a whittling knife over a pale piece of soft pine, probably from a fortunate piece of firewood that was small enough to hold in one hand. When she did not reply, he stopped his apparently absent-minded carving and looked at her very deliberately.

“Frey?” He called in a soft but concerned voice. She looked up at him and the warmth in her cheeks came back immediately. Her eyes fixed on the lines around his eyes and mouth, the bony bridge of his nose, and his lips opening slightly around the shape of her name on his tongue. The pointed fangs of the wolf glinted in his mouth and she blinked and broke her stare again. Her brow furrowed and she folded her arms across her chest, bracing for a jibe and a teasing reminder not to fall for him.

What came, however, was a touch so careful and delicate that it shocked her completely out of her defensive mindset. The callused fingertips of the dwarf she had come to be so close to brushed her jawline and gently lifted her chin, pulling her eyes into a mutual gaze with his that wiped out her resistance. She swallowed silently.

“What’s wrong?” His mouth formed the words and she heard his sonorous voice like a cup of rich, dark hot chocolate on a frozen winter morning to her ears, but his eyes asked a different question… one that made the hot flush in her cheeks grow deeper and burn redder in her blood.

“I—“ She tried to say, but a squeak and a dry breath were all that escaped her mouth. She cleared her throat and shook off his touch, stepping away and picking up a tool like a long-toothed rake to busy her hands rearranging the straw on the barn floor. “I’m just a little off today, that’s all…” She didn’t turn to look at him but she _felt_ him stand stone still and watch her very carefully, not bothering to make his stare sidelong but letting his whole head turn to follow her every move as she hurriedly pretended to do chores around the little interior. Finally, he hooked his thumbs in his pockets and leaned upon the far wall under the lantern hanging on a cast-iron hook near the ceiling.

“So, how was the date? You two lock lips yet?” He asked. Virtually every day he asked a question like this and teased her about the answer but this time even though the words were the same, his tone was cautious and he watched her closely for an answer that had nothing to do with the question.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes we have. And, I think I’ll try it again soon or I’m going to go crazy waiting for him to work up the courage to initiate it, himself.” She said somewhat absently, trying to keep her eyes from slipping onto him for more than a heartbeat.

“Hm.” He answered vaguely.

“He asked to see me tonight.” She added casually, resolved now to try just a little fishing.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. My room after sundown.” She said, watching him carefully out of the corner of her eye. He did not react beyond a smirk and a raised eyebrow, but it was the perfect _lack_ of a reaction and the way it seemed too deliberate that made her suspicious.

‘Or maybe you are just crazy and convincing yourself you’re seeing something you’re not. And besides, crazy girl, he doesn’t _want_ you to want him like that, remember? You _promised_ him!’ a voice inside her hissed in her ears. ‘Don’t make yourself a _liar_ …’ the word seemed to echo in her mind. Frey shook off her earlier trance-like fixation and like a mirror Bado’s carefully fabricated energy dissipated also.

“Oh boy, you ready, girl?” He grinned with a malevolent humor, “What are you gonna do if he chokes, huh? That kid is more nervous than a woolly in a barber shop.”

“Oh I can handle him and anyone else I might fancy kissing.” She assured him with a defiant face full of arched eyebrows and flashing eyes.

“Ooh, look at _that_!” he jeered playfully, “I do believe you are more than he bargained for, feisty little Earthmate. Maybe you should spare the poor boy after all.” Frey very pointedly did not allow herself to read into this sudden reversal of his joking insistence on her kissing her boyfriend.

“Well, I guess I’d better go to the bathhouse now and get ready for my second date today.” She said loftily. “Gotta look fresh while I enthrall him with these lips, tonight.” She said in an exaggerated tone with a flamboyant gesture and a slightly pouting look, complete with batting eyelashes. Bado smirked mischievously in reply to his, a typical reaction on his part, but before he chuckled and straightened up from the wall, stooping to pick up some stray shavings from his whittling, Frey had the distinct impression that a reddish tinge had come into that face across his sculpted nose and cheekbones.

“Go on, you little heartbreaker. Make his day.” He laughed, gesturing a shooing gesture with a grin and settling back down where he had started to resume his carving with an air of looking forward to a mellow, solitary evening.

Frey lingered only a heartbeat before she made herself stride confidently out of the barn, smiling defiantly over her shoulder as Bado lifted a hand in casual goodnight.


	37. Shattering The Mirage

‘You promised. You promised. You _promised, damnit!_ ’ the thought turned over and over, her own internal voice reproaching her in a continuous stream as Frey strode back from the Bell hotel and bathhouse, hands stuffed stiffly in her pockets. Her hair, still wet, hung in strands about her, stiffening in the freezing temperature as the fiery orange of the sunset sank behind the tree line. ‘You _promised_ him _and_ you already _have_ a boyfriend, idiot!’ she fumed internally.

She’d sworn not to try and make Bado a lover. Even if her heart _did_ start racing when she looked at him these days, even if he had said something here and there that really strongly _suggested_ he might want to… all of it was beside the point. She _promised_ she didn’t mean any of it that way. She _promised_ not to do it… but even the half-denial she’d smothered herself in up until recently had failed to make her realize one simple fact: even if she _could_ keep herself from making any moves, she could no longer deny to herself that she _wanted_ to.

She stopped in the street and shook her head.

‘Stoppit!’ she spat. It hurt to admit it, even silently in her own mind. It stung to acknowledge the secret wish to push her fingers into his hair and pull him into a kiss, pressing that masculine mouth to her own soft pink lips and feeling his short beard tickling her as they smiled against one another. ‘NO!’ she shouted at herself in her mind, dispelling the image. ‘What kind of tramp are you, _princess_?’ the vicious internal voice dripped with sarcasm and malevolence upon naming her title.

‘I’m not—I wouldn’t do that!’, she insisted.

‘Maybe not yet… but you’re headed there.’ The voice jeered.

‘I _won’t_.’ she bit back.

‘Better just dump Vishnal now and get it over with. Better than cheating on him later.’ The cold voice returned with an air of casual indifference.

“ _Damnit! I WON’T!”_ She burst out loud, suddenly.

‘Just face it. You can’t control yourself. You can’t control your thoughts, it’s just a matter of time before your hands and your mouth start betraying your intentions, too.’

‘If I do _any_ kissing… If I have _any_ lover… it’ll be my _boyfriend_.’ She thought back at the doubtful, vicious voice, her teeth clenched.

‘I’ll believe that when I see it.’ It sighed impatiently back.

‘Fine. I’ll prove it.’

‘Oh? Finally growing a backbone?’ the voice said with the sound of a sharp-toothed grin full of contempt.

Frey’s outstretched hand whipped the back door to the castle open and she strode into her room agitated and defiant. She would show that wretched doubting trash in her mind what she was made of, what her true colors were…

Setting her palms on her dresser, she drew in a long, deep breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth, forcing herself to relax and let the tension out of her shoulders. Suddenly she was bone-deep tired. Fighting herself was just as hard as fighting any monster in all of Selphia plane or Yokmir forest, except that _she_ knew all her weaknesses. It made for easy targeting, but worse wounds… She sat on her bed and then flopped backward on to the comforter.

Pushing everything out of her mind, she decided to wait for Vishnal here. If she let her thoughts go blank, those torturous jeers form the voice of doubt and guilt wouldn’t reach her. She’d have some peace. Slowly her eyelids drooped. The pink and orange light of the sunset faded from the high windows of the castle building and Frey slipped directly into a dream as she dozed.

Hot, desperate breaths sounded in the darkness. Hands smoothed over heated flesh, prying at clothing impatiently. Blood burned in her everywhere, just beneath the skin, hungry… _starving_. Her neck reached forward, seeking in the dark until her lips met his. She leaned into him and he groaned within the kiss, breaking it off to pant breathlessly.

“I can’t… I s-shouldn’t.” He breathed.

The warm fog of the dream wrapped tightly around her, numbing all her resistance and blowing it away like dust on a breeze.

“Why…” She sighed into his open mouth, plucking at his lower lip with hers, smiling around a sudden conviction. It felt _good_. If she’d known it would feel _so_ incredibly gratifying to let herself go and grasp what she wanted firmly, she’d never have hesitated in the first place… “I want you so badly…”

The dark was absolutely complete. Her fevered mind painted the picture for her, though, even without sight as her hands drew along his body and his hesitantly caressed her waist, apparently equally unable to resist the pull that was driving her to seek his lips again. Somehow he seemed to grow more solid under her fingertips. The air around the two of them grew thinner, less hazy.

“We can’t…” He whispered, his voice losing its timber as it lessened into a breath crossing his teeth.

“Please… I don’t care what anyone thinks… You’re the one I want…” She breathed, a desperate whine swelling somewhere beneath her lungs, unvoiced for now. The hot delirium faded and the cool air slipped into her mouth and nose. The loud hum of blood in her veins quieted and Frey became aware she was straddling a small, slender someone sprawled on her bed, her hands slipped under his shirt, his long hair all about his head on her pillow, visible only as a silhouette and a familiar presence in the perfect blackness of the moonless night. His trembling, feminine hands quivered around her waist as he struggled between giving in to her pleading and maintaining his resistance. Her mouth, nuzzled against his met no rough stubble or beard. The skin was smooth as silk.

Confusion furrowed her brow. She stilled. The delicate figure below her and the small, slender hands touching her were not the thick, angular ones she had been sure of a moment ago, and the name on her tongue did not match the voice that was whispering to her now.

“Princess…” The voice quailed. Her eyes snapped open and she gasped, throwing herself back suddenly and toppling over onto the lower half of the bed. The frantic movement sent her off balance and out of control. Her head struck the footboard and she yelped in pain, rolling sideways in a tangle of their skinny limbs just before she fell off the side of the bed onto the rug beside it. Sprawled haphazardly on the floor, she heard her breath grow faster and more terrified. She was hyperventilating.

‘No! No no no NO NO NOO!’ she thought frantically. Her hands began to shake violently. The room spun, she couldn’t get a hold on which way was up. Trying to lift herself off the floor only resulted in flopping back down clumsily as tears of panic rolled out of her wide eyes.

“Princess! Are you alright?” Vishnal called, anxious and panicked. He scrambled off of the bed and down to where she lay on the floor, disoriented.

What had happened? Where did her lover go, and how had this scrawny boy replaced him without her knowing? Another two high pitched gasps and realization clicked into place. She had fallen asleep on her bed just after sundown and begun to dream. Sometime during that dream, Vishnal must have come in. Then, dream and reality overlapped, thanks to her subconscious desire burning hot as a fever in her as soon as her guard was down in sleep.

Fear seized her. She had the sudden, terrible conviction that she had betrayed him… that she had been _unfaithful_. But it was not the youth who’s anxious hands tried to wrap around her now that she considered herself owing her exclusive intimacy with.

‘Damnit damnit DAMNIT _DAMNIT!!’_ She thought furiously and sobbed aloud, tears streaming down her cheeks.

That was it, then. She was a liar. Her word meant nothing. Even if she hadn’t come to him or kissed him or touched him in waking life, she was already there in her mind and in her heart. She had made a promise she was actually _unable_ to keep… and she had to confess.

“I—I’m so s-sorry, princess!” Vishnal called frantically in the dark, trying to help her upright. She gasped and choked and tried to push him away. “Please calm d-down! You’re safe! I promise. No one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to…  Please… Please, I d—didn’t know… I thought you were awake… Y—you were t—talking and t—touching and kissing me—“ He pleaded desperately, “I d—didn’t know you were asleep! I _swear_! I didn’t know! I didn’t know…” He repeated.

“Let me go!” She sobbed. “Don’t touch me—“ She pulled her hands away and scrambled to her feet. He stood up, poised anxiously as though he expected her to swoon, and meant to catch her. Dimly she realized she was wearing underwear and her light summer night dress. So, at least she hadn’t gone as far as _that,_ she thought. “I—I can’t do this anymore!” She panted. “I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Vishnal. I’m sorry!” She repeated over and over.

“S—sorry for what?” He called back, scared. She looked up in the direction of his familiar silhouette, knowing even if she couldn’t see it that there were panicked tears in his eyes.

“I can’t be with you, Vishnal…” She said, suddenly still. “I can’t love you…” His delicate voice did not answer her in the dark. Even without an answer, she knew his heart was breaking. She could almost feel it… an aura of his hopes and elation crashing down to earth and sinking into the depths of realization, disappointment… despair. More tears poured over her cheeks. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want it to turn out like _this_. Vishnal deserved better. He deserved someone who wanted _him_ … someone who wasn’t just lying to herself and trying to forget about how much she wanted a certain someone _else_. She couldn’t spend another moment deceiving him, now that she understood, but that didn’t make this moment any less terrible.  Frey turned and dashed out the back door of the east wing with a strangled sob, pelting across the fields with a stumbling, haphazard gait. She had to break this lie. She had to admit her guilt, all of it, and she had to get it over with now, before weakness and denial regained a hold on her. Using Vishnal was bad enough… lying to _him_ was infinitely worse…

This one desperate desire drove her inexorably forward under the faceless, lightless new moon, only a black shadow between faint stars above her.


	38. Their Binding Truth

Muscle memory led her through the void that was the moonless night, the starlight all too thin to shed any illumination on the field or the path between the crops, but her feet still knew the way. Her palms collided with the door of the barn and she wrenched it open, stumbling through and all but collapsing, still dizzy, on the straw-covered floor.

“Ba—“ She panted. “Bado!”

“Frey!?” The deep, lovely voice from her dream called back to her, an octave higher than usual in sudden fear and worry. “What’s wrong? What happened?” All at once he was there, right before her, carefully gripping her shoulders, squeezing her hands, turning her face one way and then another by a gentle hold on her chin. “Did he hurt you?” He asked in a hurry, looking her over urgently and showing unabashedly the fear and anger in his voice. Her eyes widened and his gray-blue winter ocean irises locked into them. A blend of powerful emotions stirred there, white-hot wrath and cold, black dread all at once. Those eyes, wracked with guilt and fear and vengeance told her that whoever had touched her was going to suffer… they were going to _pay_.

“N-no! no!” She hurried to yelp, shaking her head. “I’m n—not hurt! I’m okay!” Bado stared hard at her, still plainly shocked and concerned, but he stilled his frantic inspection of her person and waited for explanation. “H—he hasn’t done anything wrong… Vishnal is innocent.” She stammered. He relaxed slightly, but the anxious curve of his brow and the tight grip he held about her didn’t loosen. She cringed as she looked into that face, full of worry and confusion. A fresh round of tears spilled out and she sobbed again.

“I’m sorry!” She cried, collapsing against him, gasping out her grief and guilt, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m _sorry!_ ”

“Hey, hey!” He cried, alarmed but coaxing and gentle too. He pried her off of him carefully and looked into her face again. “Settle down little one.” He crooned, melted in his desperate desire to soothe her. “You’re safe here. No need to be afraid. Just tell me what happened.” She took a couple more gasps of air and he set a big warm palm at her neck, fingers wrapping around the back of her head slightly and the thumb caressing her cheek. “Shhh…. Shhhhhh” He breathed, smiling gently at her with those worried eyes, still. “Just breathe… slowly.” She forced herself to stop gasping and take a long breath in and out… then another… and another. The panic died down and she could think again. She hiccupped and took another breath. “That’s it…” He hummed reassuringly.

“I’m sorry, Bado…” She said, slightly more calmly, now. “I didn’t mean to… I never meant to, but I’ve lied to you…” Her throat tightened here, giving him the space of a breath or two to look surprised, then confused, then fearful. He looked as though he expected a blow, now: A hurt deep and permanent. There was nothing he could or would do to shield himself from it and he waited for it to fall upon him. “I… _can’t_ keep my promise to you!” She burst out, “I meant to, I really did! I swear! I always meant to keep it, but I just can’t, anymore… I can’t _just_ be a friend to you! I can’t _not_ fall for you because—” She hung her head, cringing. “—Because I already have!… I can’t let it go and now I’ve ruined everything! I’m sorry!” She felt him freeze in place and her heart froze, too. How would she ever survive the guilt from what she had done to Vishnal and now _him_ this night? What would be left of her that was even worth mending? She raised her head and looked desperately into his eyes, wide and shocked and unreadable.

“I _swear_ I would never _ever_ lie to you on purpose, Bado…” She said through her clenched throat, hoping against hope that she could at least mitigate the damage this much. Still stunned, he stared at her and his lips parted slightly as he trembled and a strained expression, like all his composure was cracking at once, took over that face so dear to her.

Blank confusion slapped her mind as the warm press of lips on hers stunned Frey still as stone. Was she dreaming again? Had any of this night been real? Then, too exhausted to care anymore about what she should and shouldn’t do, she let the heat and taste and passion of the kiss pull her under. She let her eyes flutter closed and melted into him, pushing back with her mouth and tugging him closer with her fingers wound tightly in the threadbare shirt he was wearing. He kissed her again and again, big warm hands wrapped around her, pressing her against him. He panted for air between desperate kisses and she faintly heard herself whimper with a simple and uncomplicated desire to give herself up to him. She was tired, so very tired, and this… this was what she _really_ wanted, all this time. She could no longer bring herself to wonder or care whether it was a dream or reality or even _possible_ in either case. Bado’s fingers tangled in her hair and Frey slipped her tongue into his mouth, drowning in the wet heat of it as he returned the gesture, sealing his mouth overlapping hers again and squeezing her hungrily with those huge hands.

Then his mouth was gone suddenly and she drifted for a heartbeat, dizzy, confused, and discomfited at his sudden absence from her lips. His forehead rested against hers and she opened her eyes enough to see his squeezed tightly shut, his mouth tensed in an agonized grimace. His hands still gripped her and her lips still tingled from his feverish kisses. Then his deep, rich voice rasped out of him in frantic begging:

“Ah, _gods_ , Frey! Please tell me to stop! Tell me to get lost! Anything! _Please!_... just say this isn’t what you want…” He clenched his teeth and winced, bracing for a blow again.

“Bado…” She breathed, suddenly understanding everything, “I just told you I would never lie to you intentionally.” She waited a breath or two for this to sink in. He opened his eyes, lost and scared and looking in stunned silence into hers. “I want you… not just as my friend… not just for company or conversation or even comforting and hugs. I love you… as a friend, as a lover… all of it. I want all of _you_.”

He swallowed with a visible effort and cringed again, looking on the verge of tears. When he spoke again, a great tangle of suffering wound around every sound that crossed his lips.

“Frey… you _can’t_ choose me. You just— _can’t_. I’m not whole. I’m only really myself one day in thirty and I’m slipping away bit by bit. If you take a man like me into your heart, you’ll start with a scrap and end with nothing at all… or worse…” His voice shook and faded towards the end. He stared desperately into her eyes and in his she saw plainly that he had no remedy for the impasse between what his heart was starving for and what he thought right and fair. She smiled helplessly at him and gave a little cracked ghost of a laugh.

“It’s too late, Bado. I was trying my best not to love you but I failed. You’re the only one I want, even if you’re just a scrap of your original self. I’d rather have what’s left of you than anyone else in the world…”

“Frey, pl—lease—” He choked again, “I’m trying to tell you that I’m not going to last… It was the fight of my life, trying to come back after the last full moon… the beast is too strong. I—I can’t fight it forever and I’m already losing the battle… One of these moons I’m just going to—“ She set her hands at either side of his face and looked fiercely into his eyes.

“ _Help_ me, then!” She said so forcefully that she trembled visibly in her desperate defiance of the fate he described. “I’m as lost as you if you succumb to the wolf. I don’t want to lose you or live without you. If our positions were reversed… if _I_ was the wolf… would you wish to save me?”

“Of _course_ —“ He breathed rapidly, frantic to be sure she knew how fervently he prized her safety and happiness.

“Then do it! Help me end this curse. To preserve any possibility of my being happy rather than suffering all the rest of my days without you, help me save you from this. We’ll do it together… okay?” She swallowed as she stared hard into his eyes, terrified he would refuse, insisting it were far better not to risk her safety on such a mission. But he only stared back at her a long time, looking deeply into her eyes with a mixture of hope and disbelief warring in him. Finally his eyes closed briefly and he barely managed to swallow again, wetting his dry mouth just enough to speak. Then, the haunted gray-blue irises shone out of him in all the vulnerability and leap-of-faith hope that only fools and lovers ever taste.

“I love you too, Frey.” He said breathlessly. This broke the dam in him and he sighed, not just with his mouth and breath and lungs but with his whole self, down to his very soul. A rush of tension and misery and fear all fell out of him and flew away on the oncoming winter winds. He gazed at her now with the eyes of one who is lost, but who has faith that he will find his way again or perhaps that it will find him on this new road. “I ought to have known better than to try and talk you out of this… I’d never let you convince me not to try and save you, after all… and I can’t help but love you, either, little one…” An elated smile spread across Frey’s tear-streaked face and more teardrops, already loosened by the upset of her spirits earlier, spilled down her cheeks as she lunged forward into an ecstatic kiss, her hands wound just as tightly around him as his were around her. He returned her fervent pressure equally and they each devoured the kiss from either end with the ravenous passion only natural to two souls that had been so mutually starved for one another up until this moment.

Finally, panting and out of breath, their mouths broke apart and their ribs heaved under one another’s hands as they fought to gasp in the midnight air. Those deep overlapping breaths were all the sound that fell on their ears for several long moments. Eventually, Frey laughed at the way they had nearly suffocated one another in their reluctance to release the kiss and then her eyes softened and she brushed a little of his short, wild hair off to the right.

“We’re in this together, now, Bado. We’ll find some way to snatch our life together back from the mouth of that wolf and after that victory, what other people think of us won’t be worth wasting a breath on. Though, in case you hadn’t already guessed, I don’t really give a damn about what they think _now_.” He chuckled softly, a true smile spread on his lips, wholly different from the veiled disguises of smiles he’d worn since she’d begun to know him. Her lips parted in surprise when she saw it and felt her heart melt into utter surrender to love and adoration.

“You’re more than a mighty monster tamer, Frey.” He hummed in a soft little version of his deep, rich voice; warm, liquid, and velvet all at once. “You’re more than I ever dreamed I’d have.” She smiled with a little ‘hm’ of affection and amusement.

“And you’re what I wanted more than anything and I didn’t even know it.” She leaned into him again and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly while he nuzzled his face into the curve of her neck and returned the warm, firm pressure of the hug. They sat like that for a long moment, breathing slowly and feeling one another’s heartbeats. Eventually, Bado spoke, sounding slightly uncertain.

“Frey?” He called, barely audible.

“Yeah?” She replied, leaning back and looking him in the face. He hesitated a moment or two, swallowed, and took a breath, his eyebrows curved with a little worry and apprehension.

“I… have no intention of sharing you, as a lover, I mean…” Frey opened her mouth to assure him that she had no intentions of _being_ shared, but he gently pressed his fingertips over her lips and continued. “…But at the same time, I can’t be a lover to you… not completely.” He cringed slightly around his eyes and mouth as he spoke, but determination also lined his brow.

“What do you mean?” She said softly, pulling his hand from her mouth to free her up for speaking.

“I mean… I won’t be sexually intimate with you… not while I’m still cursed. You heard what Kiel said. It acts like a blood borne illness. There’s no way I’m going to risk your life in favor of sex… regardless of how much I might wish to be with you that way…” He added, turning red. Frey sighed and squeezed his hands, smiling.

“Well… I’ve only been able to have you in my dreams up until now… so, I’m sure I can continue to make do with just that until we get you cured.” She said, blushing and smirking in her turn. He ‘hm’ed a little chuckle in his throat.

“I’ll give you something twice as nice as any dream your imagination could cook up once that day comes to pass. I promise.” He leaned in and kissed her lips slowly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she returned it. They kissed for several long moments, careful and gentle, rather than the fevered hunger with which they had clutched each other not long before. Every time his lips pressed hers, warmth flooded through her, dreamlike and decadent. When finally they released each other again, Frey replied to his earlier concern in a soothing voice:

“I’m not going to share you either, you know…” She purred. “And I don’t want to belong to anyone but you. So, if you are agreeable to it, why don’t we make a deal, hm? I’ll be yours alone and you won’t have to worry about sharing me with anyone else, and in return, I get all of you to myself. What do you say?”

“I say that’s not a very fair trade, since I get a gorgeous, lovely little pet and you get a half-crazy, cursed, old wolf-man.” He grumbled, but he couldn’t help but smile, all the same. She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes, also smiling despite herself.

“How many times to I have to say it, Bado? You’re not _old_!” He laughed aloud.

“Right, right.” He hummed. “I keep forgetting. You’ll probably have to remind me again and again.” He nuzzled her with playful affection and smiled against her hair. Then he drew back and looked puzzled. “Now that I think of it, though… what on earth brought this about tonight?” She sighed heavily, remembering the earlier events, and recounted what had happened for him. As she described the dream and how she’d thrown herself at him in it, begging for that hunger to be sated, he blushed deeply crimson and swallowed, but the color drained out of him as she told how she had awoken to realize Vishnal was a participant in her unconscious, amorous endeavors.

“Yeesh…” He said, with a pained expression. She nodded solemnly, looking down, her heart clenching.

“I know… And when I tumbled off the bed and stood up, I knew I had to end it right then so I told him I was sorry but I couldn’t be with him anymore.” Bado sighed, shaking his head a little.

“Poor kid. Bet he had a rough time of it…” He mumbled. Frey winced. “Not that you shouldn’t have broken it off.” He added hastily.

“I know it sucks, believe me… but what else could I do? I shouldn’t have even let it go on that long… I knew I was already in love with you, deep down… I guess I thought if I stayed with Vishnal and somehow managed to fall in love with him, instead…” She trailed off, shaking her head. Bado huffed a slightly bitter little laugh.

“Heh… yeah… I may have been under a similar delusion, myself…” He said abashedly.

“I thought as much.” She smiled sadly back.

“I guess we both owe him an apology… or five.” He shrugged helplessly.

“Yeah… We sure can try, but I doubt anything you or I could say would undo what I did to him.” She sighed. “I made a mess of all that.” Wordlessly, he laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, smiling sheepishly.

“It’s unfortunate, to be sure… but I can’t say I’m too sorry to see you split. It was mighty hard pretending to want you to kiss him and all that…” She bent a malevolent smirk at her new lover.

“Well, you didn’t _have_ to be so insistent about it!” she teased.

“What could I do? I thought as long as you had a boyfriend, I could keep you safely out of my sights, romantically.” He shrugged.

“Well, that worked like a charm, didn’t it?” She rolled her eyes.

“Live and learn, I guess” He chuckled.

“I suppose…” She drawled mockingly, “That we’re pretty safe from that sort of danger now, anyhow.”

“That or we’re both doomed, now.” He joked back, pulling her close and nuzzling her again. His beard tickled her neck and she squirmed playfully. “Oh, no… you wanted this so now you gotta take your snuggles like a woman!” he laughed, holding her tighter and tickling her while she squealed and shrieked with giddy laughter.

“H-hey! Hahahaha! Stoppit! Someone’s gonna hear!” She hissed in between fits of giggles.

“Then _you_ should be quieter while I snuggle you!” He chimed, relentlessly nuzzling her neck again.

“Hey, hey, hey” She laughed, “Seriously, though… there’s no way anyone’s gonna let me keep you out here in the barn like this if they know we’re lovers… I know lying is totally wrong, but I think we’d better keep this a secret just until we get you cured, you know?” He sighed, and gave up his tickle-torture.

“I suppose you’re right. I wouldn’t want to get locked up again where I can’t hug or kiss you anymore…” He hummed, kissing her neck, ear, and cheek.

“Right. So, behave yourself, okay? I’ll talk to Vishnal and apologize but I won’t tell him I’m with you.”

“How are you going to explain away that scene, though?” He pointed out.

“I’m not. I don’t intend to make any excuse for my behavior, but I don’t have to explain my own sexual desires or interests to a person I have no intention of being sexual with.”

“Fair point.” He shrugged, blushing a little again. His eyes rested long on her, dropping to her lips and tracing her neck briefly before flicking back up to her eyes.

“I only intend to apologize to him and tell him I was having an amorous dream, but didn’t mean to do anything like that with him in real life, anyway.”

“Well, good luck and let me know how that conversation goes, I guess.” He said nervously. Then he tilted his head and smiled at her. “But, enough about future worries. I’ve suffered watching you date another man while I wanted you and I put you through plenty of heartache while I pushed you away. I’m really really sorry for trying to force you not to love me when I knew damn well I was head over heels for you, too, pet. So… will you let me make it up to you, now?” He looked hopefully into her green eyes and she smiled, nodding silently.

“Good girl.” He purred, and spent a long spell of all the kisses and caresses he insisted he owed her while she returned every touch and breath with equal adoration. When he finally ceased his sweet attentions and convinced her to go back to bed it was only a couple hours until dawn. She knew they were already pushing their luck and that no one would give her the benefit of the doubt if she woke up in the barn again, especially during the new moon while Bado was exactly his original self again, and so she agreed to go after a long, perfect goodnight kiss, and sighed happily once she was back in her room, hugging her pillow tightly and savoring the elation and relief that filled her up now that the two of them had let each other in and embraced the love they shared. 


	39. Unforeseen Understandings

 

“Princess—“

“Vishnal, I—“ Both parties gasped suddenly as they rounded the corner of the east wing hallway in the castle and nearly ran into each other.

“I was just on my way to come find you. Can I speak with you a moment?” He said evenly, to her surprise. She quite expected to find him a blubbering mess when she set out to find him and apologize this morning.

“Of course. I was actually just looking for you, too.” She replied. He nodded.

“Come, let’s go speak in one of the empty quarters so we may have a little privacy.”

She followed him to an uninhabited room with pale old sheets draped over the furniture like oddly angular ghosts in the dusty, dim light from the shaded windows. Once the door had swung closed and the sound of the latch clicked behind her, she saw his shoulders droop as he sighed and then spun around to face her.

“Princess, I’m sorry.” He said determinedly, his brows inclined with the apology. She blinked at him.

“O-oh… that’s… actually what I was going to say to you…” She said faintly, confused and guilty all at once. He shook his head.

“No… I’m not talking about last night… though I am very very sorry about that, too. I’m talking about all of it. I shouldn’t have placed such pressure on you when you told me from the beginning that you were not in love with me. I… just… wanted to believe it so badly, I guess I let myself forget that you were only testing the waters. I expected you to fall in love with me… but only because I wanted it. It really didn’t have anything to do with what _you_ truly wanted or what I was seeing right in front of me. I understand, now though. I know you were humoring me and I do appreciate that you gave it a try… but I should never have dated you, knowing you didn’t really want me in the first place.” Frey blinked, stunned silent at this speech. Then she laughed nervously and cleared her throat to reply.

“I, um… well, I don’t really know what to say, exactly. I guess… I guess I’ll just let you know that I’m sorry too… not just for last night, but also for acting in a manner inconsistent with my feelings. I… probably should have broken it off before now. I think I knew already that I wouldn’t just spontaneously fall in love with you, even if we did keep dating.” She felt lame and callous in the face of his honest repentance and the admirable character of his contemplation of the issue. All the while, she swallowed around the unspoken explanation that it had been Bado all along that she was _actually_ attracted to. Then he made it worse.

“I disrespected both of us by trying to make something out of us that we just aren’t. I do hope we can be friends, though. I would hate to lose that too, because of my mistake.” His voice was quiet and feathery, but also resolute, somehow. Frey sighed.

“You have no idea how little I deserve your friendship, but yes, Vishnal, it would make me very happy if none of this came between us being friends.” He smiled warmly at her, unmistakably genuine, despite his disappointed hopes. She could see in his red-rimmed eyes that he’d been through the grief of the end of their brief courtship, but at the same time the calm about him and the steady words he spoke, full of undeniable truth, said plainly that he was also disillusioned about it all and that he knew this outcome was for the best. She could hardly have been more grateful or felt less deserving of such a tidy resolution to the issue. “And… it was at least as much my mistake as it was yours, so… I hope you can forgive me, too. I forgive you for anything you said or did up until now, so, let’s start fresh, okay?” She smiled hopefully and the young butler brightened through his weary countenance and smiled in return.

Part of her still felt she owed him an explanation for the accidental amorous encounter they’d shared. However, upon trying to string together an apology for it without revealing that there was a specific other person on her mind and with her in her dream, she found she could not find a way around that information without sounding suspicious or as though she were making excuses. So, she gave it up and reluctantly hoped that their mutual allusion to the incident and apology for it would suffice.

Hardly daring to believe how neatly Vishnal had done the job of pacifying himself for her, Frey spent the rest of the day making appeasement and gratitude out of several favors to him. First, she cut all the turnips that he was tasked to chop for Volkanon for pickling, sparing him the misery of spending all afternoon chopping one of his least favorite things in the world. Then, she made a huge portion of curry in a large pot and served it steaming and sizzling before him on a bed of vividly white, fresh rice. He was so overjoyed at the gesture, and so pleased at the quality of the dish, that he actually leapt up from his seat and hugged her after the first bite. For a moment she was shocked and scared that he had reverted, but as he released her a beat later and laughed aloud for joy, she could see there was nothing but platonic affection and gratitude in it. It was difficult to believe, or rather it _would_ be, coming from anyone else, but this naïve young man had shifted overnight to a totally different role, relative to her. There was obviously still a good deal of grief and hurt feelings behind it all, from the shadows under his eyes and the occasional sigh that slipped from him when he ended up unguarded. But, he had nevertheless assumed much the role she’d thought he’d play for her when she had first moved to the castle, presumably before his more romantic feelings for her had emerged. Even so, it was a little too good to be true, or too good to be believed…

“Vish?” She called in early evening as she helped him hang laundry behind the castle. He was dressed in one of the frilly aprons Volkanon always had on hand over his uniform and he turned and smiled cheerfully at her as she tilted her head at him.

“Yes, princess?” He replied mildly.

“It’s… a little hard to believe you’re _this_ okay with it all… are you sure you’re not upset? I mean, it’s okay to get upset, you know… I won’t be offended or mad or anything. I don’t want you bottling it up and hurting yourself on top of what pain I already caused you.” She brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear absentmindedly as she spoke, uncharacteristically nervous.

“Ah, well… I assure you I am quite disappointed, so if that is what you mean by ‘upset’ then I already have been, and am. But… there is no need to vent it at you. You were clear from the beginning and I shouldn’t have expected the opposite of what you were actually offering. So, I still consider it largely my own doing that I _am_ disappointed. And I want to get through it as soon as I may, so I’m choosing to stay positive. All injuries take time to heal, even ones you can’t see… but we don’t make them mend any quicker by wallowing.” She stared at him again, floored by the uncharacteristically wizened perspective. He laughed aloud and the sound buoyed her up from the fathoms of her guilt. “Well, that is what Volkanon said to me, anyhow. He is full of good life advice and I’m doing my best to heed it.”

“I’m glad he’s so favorable to sharing it. I think that will help me, too.” She replied faintly, then struck by her awe at his mature perspective, even if it _was_ borrowed from the older butler, she added: “Really though… You deserve to be happily attached to someone who treasures you for who you are. I haven’t been the one to value you the way your partner should, so… I don’t really deserve to be your girlfriend, regardless of whether you like me or not. Please… go for someone who adores you just as you are from the beginning. That would make me truly happy.”

“Thank you, princess.” He said serenely, looking down with a secretive sort of smile and touching a hand to his collar in an odd gesture of gratitude. “I believe I shall.” She beamed at him. “Oh, and… I hope your relationship turns out well, too. There must be something to it after all, if you’re willing to go to such lengths.” His smiling face hadn’t changed, or hadn’t changed _much_. There was a slight sense of gratification to the way he watched her eyes widen and her mouth fall partly open.

She had been so determined not to reveal the real nature of her intimacy with Bado; she’d never guessed Vishnal would have already known. She began to stammer something in reply, a confused rabble of half-articulated syllables halfway between denial and hurried explanation. Visnhal’s smile widened and actually looked sympathetic, rather than just amused, now.

“I think, princess…” He began thoughtfully and carefully, “That the only persons who were surprised at the two of you being lovers _are_ the two of you.” She blinked stupidly at him, dumbfounded. He chuckled softly, surprisingly knowing and tired looking for his usual oblivious and naïve self. “Not that it is not a surprising choice to begin with… but…” He grew stuck, and furrowed his brow as he tried to put the words together in his mind. “Perhaps it _is_ just me who knows right now, but you must understand, Frey—“ The use of her name made her jump just a little, so used was she to being called ‘princess’ by this particular young man. “—that I have been watching you desperately for a sign that you loved me for so long now. You can hardly expect me to have missed the way you look at him… the way you speak of him… and the way nothing occupies your mind so much as him and his condition.”

“O-oh…” The smallest reluctant sound escaped her lips finally as she felt the embarrassment of being seen through so thoroughly.

“I do believe you were trying very hard to convince yourself your feelings were only friendship. But… I know what I heard last night while you thought you were with him…” He winced ever so slightly at the painful memory, still raw. “…and I know where you ran to as soon as you found yourself unexpectedly in bed with me.” Frey wilted and let her head droop, cringing down at the carpet and her dainty feet within her small shoes.

“I’m sorry.” She barely managed to say, voice shaking. “I never meant to do you any harm…” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and tried to swallow. Within that space of time, the young butler took a few careful steps toward her and put his gloved hands gingerly on her shoulders. She very deliberately did not flinch away, but looked up at him guiltily, hoping he would see in her eyes that she had never conspired deliberately to use him. “If…” She began in an unsteady voice, “If there’s anything I can do to… to make it up to you…” He closed his eyes and smiled for a beat, then opened them.

“Yes… there is.” He said in a delicate voice, very like himself, but in those violet eyes there was more wisdom, bought at the high price of heartache, and seeing it made Frey’s stomach move like a dog shrinking away from a hand that it fully expected to strike it. “Don’t lie to yourself anymore, Frey. Feel what you feel and be honest about it, at least to yourself. Don’t push it away or pretend it’s something it’s not. If this situation was avoidable, that is the way it could have been prevented. And going forward, I don’t want to see you so weighed down with longing anymore, either.” She blinked at him mutely, very pointedly outmaneuvered.

Finally, after he looked hard into her green eyes expectantly for a long moment, she nodded and squeaked: “I promise.”

“Hm.” He nodded, bolstering his cheerful front with a smile. “Good.”


	40. His Persistent Fever

Frey returned to the barn in a rather mixed mood. On one hand, she was in tremendously high spirits, delighted with Vishnal’s shining example and determined to bring that same optimism and positivity to her mission to rescue her new boyfriend from his therianthropic affliction. On the other hand, she was unsettled by how plainly Vishnal had seen through her ruse, and embarrassed at having been caught at the silly game she’d unintentionally played while pining after the werewolf in her barn. Sure, the young servant was privy to more information than most other townspeople so they could hardly have put all that together like he did… but, at the same time… she could not shake the feeling that she was just as transparent to everyone. By the time her feet were upon the steps to the barn door, she had resolved to present the more optimistic side of her mood for her lover’s benefit. Upon entering she called out to him, smiling as he turned to look at her. Then she paused, her face falling into concern.

He was somehow different since she had left in the small hours of the morning, though by sight he appeared much the same. By the first light of dawn his canines had just begun to sharpen themselves into points but no other sign had yet manifested. It would be several days yet before he looked like anything but a particularly hairy dwarf with unusual teeth. But here he was, somehow diminished before her eyes. Purple shadows had appeared beneath his eyes, which looked wholly exhausted. His posture drooped and his lips, gums, and ears were so pale as to appear almost translucent. The smile he tried to return to her was a brave attempt to defy his obvious misery, but it had nothing of the pure, genuine elation and hopeful energy that his true smile had shone with the night before.  She rushed over to him and touched his forehead, cheek and neck with the front and back of her slender hands.

“Dragons! What happened? You look sick as a dog!” She cried in breathless alarm. He caught up her hands and squeezed them, trying to reassure her without much success. He let the brave smile slip away and sighed through his nose as he looked pained at her.

“It’s back again already… stronger this time.” He grated, sounding inexplicably raspy in his voice. “I have to concentrate all the time to keep it out of my mind… to be myself. These… _animal_ thoughts…” He sighed. “It’s getting harder to push them back.”

“What do you mean? What thoughts?” She whispered concernedly. He shook his head.

“Impulses… hunger and hunting mostly… wanting to go kill some poor monster and eat its guts.” He shivered.  “I’m not without blood on my hands in the first place. No former knight is… but not like _that_ … knights don’t fight to _consume_ one another.” He swallowed and grew a shade paler as he said this last remark.

“Well… from what Kiel told us we’re just lucky you’re a dwarf so you don’t get that all that bloodlust at once like humans do. She caressed his long, suddenly gaunt-looking face and looked tenderly into those haunted eyes. Truly, if she could have taken this burden from him right now, she would, no matter the cost to her own comfort. “But this kind of thing is why we can’t waste any time trying to get you cured, right?” She changed her tone to an encouraging one, trying to bolster his spirit for an effort towards just that end. He huffed a tired little monosyllabic chuckle.

“As you say, keeper.” She quirked an eyebrow. He smirked tiredly, still mischievous despite his affliction. “You are still my keeper, little one. You’ve just added the heart of me to your keeping since last I called you that.” She sighed, feigning exasperation.

“Your little love pledges are just as corny as your sales pitches, you know.” She leaned in and let her eyes flick from his eyes to his mouth. He leaned toward her in return and she reached up and kissed him sweetly, smirking with the corners of her mouth turned tightly to match his.

“As long as they work, right?” He replied, returning the gesture. A little life seemed to return to him as he turned to align his footing to face her more directly and wrapped his arms around her. She stretched up on tiptoes as high as she could and he bent his neck to complete the kiss more comfortably. Relishing it for its restorative effect on him as well as her own enjoyment, Frey repeated the gesture several more times over several long moments, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair and drag them over the back of his neck, whereupon he trembled and broke off their kisses, panting quietly and shivering from time to time.

“That’s… quite the mixed blessing, pet…” He breathed. She tilted her head in confusion, her face still flushed. His was a rather radiant crimson across his nose, cheeks and ears at the moment, too. “I mean…” He tried again, “It puts some life in me, but not all of it is a manageable sort…” He swallowed and shifted his weight a little, holding her just apart from him when she would have leaned against his front.

Suddenly dawning with understanding, Frey automatically lowered her eyes, flying over his chest and abdomen until—

“Ah-ah.” He chided, lifting her gaze back to his face with two fingertips gently pressing her chin upward from beneath. “You’ll make it worse if you stare.” There was obvious strain in his face and voice, but at the same time it was rich, deep, and husky with fever.

“Sorry.” She mouthed, barely whispering the word. He looked into her eyes a moment more, swallowed again and let his eyes fall to her lips. Here he paused, drawing in another trembling breath. When his gray-blue eyes returned to the soulful exchange with her vivid emerald ones there was a heavy blend of emotions in them. She recognized the hopeful wish for all that he’d secretly desired while outwardly insisting she could not choose him. She saw the aching loneliness too, still coiling about itself like a small creature burrowed in his heart and curling up against a winter cold that bit through earth and sky. She could not say how, but Frey _saw_ in him how badly he wanted to pull her to him and never let go… how badly he wanted to surrender and give himself up to the terrifying vulnerability of love and all the promised bliss that might arise from it, too. She saw all of it and she tried to show him through her eyes how willing she was to receive him… how she would leap headlong into that love with him and embrace whatever came of it completely, because whatever his life had become seemed utterly worth bearing just to have him. Maybe it was madness, but if so it was a madness she found she could occupy happily, as long as she could do so with him.

His gaze grew more hopeful, more eager and pining for a moment. A little breath slipped in and then out from his slightly parted lips again. Somehow his eyes darkened and she recognized that hungry look of desire she was only now becoming acquainted with. He leaned closer, a palpable heat coming off of him, and hovered near to her in the whole height of him from head to toe. His mouth was close to her lips. His hands poised just shy of brushing the skin of her arms. His body practically thrummed with tension, broad chest, muscular stomach, and his hips bearing some kind of pressure the way his weight shifted toward her in spite of his feet which remained stubbornly planted just far enough away that his sturdy frame never touched her delicate one.

For a moment she felt overpowered by the hunger in those darkened eyes, and then a heady rush flooded through her along with a hot flush of blood under her skin. Her eyelids drooped and fluttered slightly as she savored the high of feverish desire and began to lean toward him, too. Her sudden reciprocation of that hunger evidently snapped him out of it instantly. He drew in a breath with eyes open and clear and then he blinked and dropped his gaze off to the side and stepped back from her. She watched in still-heated fascination as he mastered himself, burying the tension and forcing down the palpable wanting coming from him. Finally, he dropped to a cross legged position on the floor of the barn, gesturing for her to join him and sit just across from him so they could talk.

“So.” He rasped, cleared his throat, and then continued: “You said you had a plan?” She seated herself, remembering the way he insisted a few moments ago that she should not stare and make his difficulty worse, and made a conscious effort to keep her eyes on his face as she wrestled her mind onto answering his query.

“Well, the best lead we have so far is slaying the source of the curse. Obviously Forte hasn’t found it yet, but I think I might know why.” She said, a spark of determination and excitement tinging her voice as she finally snapped out of that odd, sudden fever. It felt very good to be talking about real concrete action toward a permanent solution to his problem.

“And why’s that?” He asked dutifully.

“She doesn’t know what the wolf looks like, and she doesn’t know where it happened.” She said with a quietly triumphant air. “You broke its jaw and several teeth when you hit it in the face with your hammer, and we were lost way out in the woods the day it hunted us. We need to go get lost in the woods again to find this thing. We’ll know it when we see it.”

“Wouldn’t it be better _not_ to get lost this time?” He countered reasonably, furrowing his brow.

“I hardly think we’ll be able to help it, even if I weren’t so convinced that it were the fastest way of successfully retracing our steps and finding the thing. The kinds of woods that are full of origin gates coming from the forest of beginnings are very odd places, sometimes. The energies there can twist and warp reality so that not only is it very hard to tell where you are going, you might find yourself in a place you couldn’t possibly have walked to. That’s how those places are, sometimes. If you aren’t careful you can slip into a path that winds all around, not completely in our world or theirs, so it’s not an easy place to navigate to again. We have to try, though. If this bloodthirsty thing really had been out there on the regular forest trail for the last two months, then there’s just no way everyone but you in Selphia just got lucky enough never to encounter it. It’s not dead and I doubt it’s just left, Bado, but we’re going to have to go out of our way to cross its path again.” He raised his eyebrows and drew a long breath before sighing it out with a reluctant compliance.

“As you say…” He said uncertainly. She nodded seriously with a small, clever smile.

“Retracing your steps is always a good first move to find something that’s lost.” She assured him, and stood up, brushing straw from her leggings. He looked up uncertainly at her.

“You want to go _now?_ ” He asked.

“Well, yeah. We need to get you cured as soon as possible, and on top of that, Venti is much more likely to let you go with me into the woods when you are mostly yourself than when you are closer to the full moon.”

“Good point.” He shrugged, then stood up. “Alright then, let’s gear up and then you lead the way, monster hunter.” She nodded brightly at him and the exited the barn together. 


	41. Fear Yields to Love

The first stop after Ventuswill gave her consent to their proposed adventure with a nod of her great head was the room adjacent to her own quarters where she had him install her forge so many months ago, long before she knew anything about him other than his trade. He looked about the room and clear professional recognition showed in his face, if not any particular lively interest or curiosity. His eyes combed over the material stores, the weapon racks, and the forge itself, empty and cool at present. She certainly hadn’t found time to forge anything since he’d fallen to the curse.

“So you didn’t completely make that interest in forging up when you were tryin’ to get me to come out foraging with you.” He mused with a slight smirk. She looked back over her shoulder at him with a playful indignance in her bent brows while she lifted a set of light leather armor out of a chest in the corner of the room. She strapped on the gear quickly and with the mindless familiarity of long practice. Then she buckled a belt bearing two short scabbards on around her hips and plucked two identical dual blades, cool blue steel with leather wrapped handles, off of the nearest weapon rack and slipped them into the scabbards with a the satisfying whisper of the blades’ edges against the sheaths.

“We can try to get you something from the garrison if you like, or we can go back to your place to pick up some gear.” She offered, pulling on heavier fighting gloves to replace her gardening ones.

“Nah, I’m more likely to go unscathed if I keep my mobility rather than pile on armor. I don’t know if you noticed,” his voice turned teasing, “but I’m not a small guy. It takes a lot of armor to shield me and that stuff gets heavy.” He reached out and grasped a very long, broad claymore from a nearby rack of weapons, lifting the two-handed weapon with just one of his own large angular hands and holding it out in front of him, perfectly steady. Her eyebrows climbed up a little on her forehead.

“Color me surprised. I never realized sitting around napping in a shop all day would allow a guy to be so strong.” She mocked. He clucked disapprovingly around a playful smile.

“Shows how little you and the rest of the town folk know about my work. Even a lazy blacksmith can’t manage without strength.”

“I do alright.” She countered, nodding toward the sword in his hand. It was one of her own creations, along with every other piece in the room. He tilted it this way and that, ran his fingers along the whole length of it judiciously, and held it out at the full extent of his arm before balancing it sideways with the flat of the blade upon two fingers. He looked thoughtfully at it as he returned it to one hand and examined the hilt last of all, scratching his beard with his free hand.

“It’s decent work, for a hobbyist,” he allowed, “but it’s nothing to write home about. The balance is too far down the blade and it lacks bloodlines altogether.” She blinked, surprised at the sudden, serious critique.

“Well, maybe you can teach me better sometime.” She said with a carefully neutral tone. He didn’t seem like he was teasing, but she could never be quite sure.

“Sounds like work.” He grumbled, but he was smirking and looking at her indirectly with some mischief in his eyes. “I’d rather teach you more about kissing.” Frey felt a hot flush come into her face suddenly. Bado laughed aloud at her reddening cheeks.

“I think I kiss just fine, thank you.” She huffed with embarrassed indignance, but not wholly free of the same playfulness that he was exuding.

“I’m older than you, remember? You don’t outrank me in experience. Take advantage and it’ll be well worth your while.” He called, letting a cunning little coil of suggestion color his tone—not quite seduction, but something like. She tilted her head and folded her arms, narrowing her eyes and smiling as she tried to read how much of him was teasing.

“Maybe I will.” She said finally, trying to make her voice sound enigmatic. He laughed again. It seemed it was quite out of her reach to fluster him as he did her. Perhaps it was the years he had on her and his greater experience. She didn’t mind much, though. The truth was, she really did want to do more kissing with him as soon as possible. Then a thought struck her and pulled the smirk down and off her mouth. She raised an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

“Had a lot girlfriends, did you? Is that where your superior ‘experience’ comes from?” She tried to make her tone even but it was clear by the way his smile faltered that ne noted the change in her demeanor.

“I’ve had a few, yeah.” He said vaguely, cautiously. She tilted her head a little further to show that she wanted more explanation than that. He placed the sword back on the rack and took a step or two toward her. She tensed but did not step backward. His expression softened and took on a blend of apprehension and knowing reassurance. It was rare to see one emotion by itself displayed across his masculine features. “But none of them serious. Most were just flings or casual sex and nothing more.” She flinched at the sudden, candid admission.

Frey knew she had no right to judge him. What did his past have to do with her, anyway? He didn’t owe her a lifetime of celibacy just to sooth her own insecurities when they finally had met and eventually become lovers. Still, though… still she did not like to hear of him having casual sex with an unknown number of women. And the way he said it… as though it were of no importance. That he considered the lack of any serious commitment to be of much more significance than his apparent promiscuity was not a thing to reassure her as he seemed to expect. A gentle caress of her jawline made her realize she had turned her face away and down off to the side, glaring suddenly with a bitter expression at the stone tiles of the floor.

“Hey…” he called, soft and warm with his deep, rich voice. Reluctantly she let him tilt her head up with his fingertips, but she refused to give eye contact still. He closed his mouth and sighed through his nose fretfully before speaking again.

“Frey… those times may as well have been in a prior life. It sure feels like a lifetime ago, let me tell you. I was a soldier. I know being so careless with sex and relationships might seem monstrous to you, but soldiers don’t usually pause over that kinda thing. When you know you’re likely to die tomorrow, you don’t tend to care much whether it’s right or wrong to have a one night stand. It helped me get through another day on the battlefields and that’s why I did it. It was… practically the only comfort I or any other soldier in the king’s army had in those days.” He shrugged. “I didn’t figure I’d live long enough to regret how it would make a woman I was actually in love with feel.” At this she relented, allowing her eyes to climb up and meet his. Relief colored his expression.

“You were never in love before?” She ventured cautiously.

“Oh, once or twice, I suppose. At least, it seemed like I was once or twice.” He admitted reluctantly, fidgeting with one of her pigtails as he lightly wrapped his hands behind her. Sometime during the conversation he had moved very close. “But this is the first time it ever started as anything other than physical attraction.” Frey felt herself wince ever so slightly. Bado furrowed his brow and frowned concernedly at her.

“Oh, Frey,” He sighed softly, “I wish you were more confident about my feelings for you. I am so very attracted to you, pet. I only meant to explain that starting as friends and knowing you care deeply about me before we were ever lovers has been a new experience for me. Maybe that’s part of why this feels so much more real to me. I’m trying to tell you that next to you, no one has ever interested me for anything more than a momentary distraction. You’re the first woman I’ve loved like this. When I say I felt I was in love before… looking back on it now, I don’t think it was anything more than infatuation.” He explained all this patiently, though she could see the anxiety in his eyes. Clearly he wanted her to sooth him and say it was okay, that she didn’t blame him and that she, too felt that this love was different. But how on earth could she know? She could not remember any previous relationship that might have qualified as a romantic love.

“What if you are merely infatuated with me?” She asked quietly in a cautious tone.

“No, love.” He said, barely above a whisper, and drew up one of her hands to kiss her fingers very softly. “I’ve lived long enough to know the difference when I feel it. This is different. _You_ are different.” Very slowly, Frey began to allow herself to consider letting his words console her.

“I am sorry that my past makes you uncomfortable, Frey.” He said calmly, “What can I do to reassure you?” She drew in a long breath, looking uncertainly at him, held it for a beat or two, and then sighed it out again.

“Nothing.” She replied, holding out her hands slightly and letting them fall back to her sides in a gesture of defeat. “You don’t need to do anything. I don’t really blame you for it… I just… it makes me feel a little insecure, I guess… that’s all.” She wilted a little as she gave this admission, looking vaguely helpless at him. A conviction came over here suddenly that there was nothing he could say to permanently assuage her fears since they didn’t come from him, but from herself. His gaze softened and grew more affectionate all at once.

“Darling,” He began, making her heart jump, all manner of sweetness and warmth humming in his deep voice, “You are a very unique and _very_ special person. There is no sense comparing any woman I may have been with to you because no one _can_ compare with you. It’s not because I feel this way either. With or without me and my feelings for you, you are one of a kind… a kind I didn’t even think this lonely world could be graced by.

A secret conflict warred in Frey’s stomach. Part of her wanted to relent, give in and believe his words. This part wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him tightly and kiss him, forgetting that she’d been upset at all. It made good sense to her heart and it was definitely what she wanted to do more, but the other part, the part that feared… the part that didn’t want to accept his promiscuous past, wouldn’t let her melt against him yet. It fought fiercely with her better nature and still held control of her voice.

“Did you say those things to your old girlfriends?” she asked, an uncertain unhappiness in her tone. She hated herself the moment she heard herself say it. She didn’t want to prolong this miserable exchange. _Why_ couldn’t she just let it go? Bado looked sadly at her and drooped a little.

“Please, Frey. I can’t make you believe me, but I wish you’d choose to. Are… are you having second thoughts about all this?” He cringed, looking half defeated already as he forced his mouth to ask this question. Frey’s stomach jumped up and collided with her heart in a most uncomfortable manner. His sudden lapse into fear had distracted the unpleasant part of her current mindset just long enough for her better nature, the part that wanted to love him unreservedly, to strike a winning blow and cow the fear until it retreated and cowered in the dark corners of her heart. She took up his hands and shook her head anxiously.

“No! No, of course not! I’m sorry.” She looked pleadingly up at his gray-blue eyes tinged with silver. “I’m sorry, Bado. I didn’t mean to worry you. I don’t know why—I just… I’m just afraid, I guess…” She sighed, sagging as though under a huge weight of unhappiness. “What if you find out I’m not as appealing to you as some ex-girlfriend or one night stand? I don’t really know how to be sexy or whatever,” She frowned unhappily as her voice caught on this admission, “So I’m afraid you’ll find out I’m not as good as you think I am now. I’m afraid… you’ll get bored with me.” Her voice grew smaller and smaller as the nature of her fear coalesced into concrete ideas and she heard the honest admission. It was almost as surprising to her own ears as it obviously was to his.

A heavy, urgent blend of worry and fretfulness came over her lover’s face as she looked up at him. He hugged her tightly to him as though he worried she would come apart and blow away on the wind if he did not press her against him with all the earnest concern one man could manage.

“No, pet.” He breathed insistently without releasing her. “No one can promise nothing will ever come between us, and I’m sure you and I will disagree sometimes, but _that_ will never ever be true. You have already done too much for my sake and you and I have already been through too much together. I am bound to love you at least as a friend for the rest of my life. But that is not all I want, Frey. And, I’m not looking for a passing fancy or merely an alluring sexual partner. I want someone I can be with in every way, and I want that person to be you. You already mean more to me than a man can possibly ‘grow bored with’

This speech, spoken with nothing but heartfelt honesty all through his voice, finally did strike down her worry for now. She wrapped her arms around him in return and squeezed him back as her eyes burned and her throat tightened. Curiously their usual characters in conversation were reversed. He had given a long, somewhat poetic speech full of graceful perfect words and feelings and all she could manage in reply was a brief gasp of a reply, so thoroughly had her ability to speak deserted her. But, though it was only three words, it was the three that matter most between lovers, and so it soothed and reassured him and he showed it by kissing her with a slow, warm, passionate insistence, the curve of a smile never leaving his lips.

“I love you.” She repeated after several more moments full of the sensations of his mouth on hers.

“I love you, too.” He replied, humming his affection in his low, sonorous voice.


	42. Transparent Secrets

Having recovered their amorous and affectionate disposition toward one another after the brief tension and uncertainty insecurity had bred between them, the pair snuck their way out of town bearing their arms and armor without turning heads. But, once in the forest their hands found one another automatically and they walked and stood very close to one another, only parting by a little ways when it was necessary to look around for the appropriate path.

The southern trail was barren of foliage, the skeletal winter trees crisscrossing their branches over the bleak gray sky above them. The gray-blue of Bado’s eyes showed both fellowship with the pallor of the sky and defiance of it as the only blue visible anywhere about them. His dark, unruly hair stirred in the chilly breezes and his breath was visible in puffs of vapor just before his angular face. Frey was meant to be working to search out the trail they had become lost on before, but she found herself utterly preoccupied with staring at her friend-turned-lover. Of course, she had found him attractive before. She’d had six weeks of intimate proximity to sharpen her eyes’ appreciation of his handsome, masculine features—when he was still a man, that is. Now, though… now he wasn’t just attractive… he was a marvel. Something about falling in love and having it returned had transformed him into the only thing in the world her eyes wished to linger on.

Even more to her surprise, he seemed similarly afflicted by a preoccupation with her. But, in his case, he made a point to break away his eyes as soon as she caught him staring and he tried valiantly to keep focused to their task. Nevertheless, she would hear him sigh in quiet amazement and happiness and turn to catch a glimpse of a half-wistful smile, not altogether free of the haggard, sad character that his semi-wolf state bestowed on his features, before he hurriedly turned his gaze away again.

Eventually, despite the highly distractible state of mind the lovers had in common, they began to see signs they recognized.

“Do you remember this boulder?” She asked, reaching out a gloved hand to run her fingers over a stripe of some sedimentary mineral deposited within the various gray shades of the stone.

“Yeah, I think we saw it on the way out to wherever we ended up.” He answered, resting his hands on his hips as he furrowed his brow at the rock. “Hard to say exactly how far into that walk it was, though…” He continued, rubbing at his beard. Frey folded her arms too.

“Well we were out all afternoon and well into evening. Moonrise wasn’t more than an hour or two after sundown, but still… we had to have been walking a few hours at least.”

“Yeah, you got us good and lost that time.” Bado laughed, reminiscing. Frey held back the urge to make an indignant retort to this jibe and frowned around her at the diverging paths all around the stone. It was something of a star shaped crossroads meeting just before the flatter side of the boulder. Three of the paths were broad, well-travelled and seemed to have been laid with gravel at some point. The remaining two were little more than narrow gaps in the brush and a subtle track of dirt where grass and moss did not grow so thick.

“How will we know which paths to try?” She wondered aloud.

“Well…” Bado answered thoughtfully, “What would have appealed to you back then, do you think?” Frey tilted her head and tapped on her lips thoughtfully with one slender finger as she considered this. Then she blushed as the memory of that day came back in detail.

“I, um… I was embarrassed… I didn’t want you to see or make fun of me anymore so I was trying to go down paths that were too narrow for us to walk side by side.” She admitted, barely more than mumbling by the end of the explanation. The hot flush in her face grew yet stronger as Bado laughed aloud, shaking his head. She frowned, somewhere between wanting to laugh with him and affronted that he would laugh at her previous discomfort.

“Come here.” He chuckled, and spread his arms to invite her close to him. She stepped near and wrapped her own slender arms around his waist. He embraced her gently, careful of squeezing her too tightly against his field gear, which would have been less than pleasant. He bent his neck and kissed her hair. “Sorry for embarrassing you on purpose back then.” He said, the smile and laughter still lingering in his voice. “I’ve always thought you were adorable but that day it became obvious to me I am attracted to you, so I was layin’ it on pretty thick to try and make sure you didn’t like me too much.” She wriggled part way out of his embrace to look up at him with a puzzled expression.

“Why?”

“Whaddaya mean, ‘why’?” He countered incredulously. “You know why.” She shook her head.

“I know why since you became a werewolf. But you weren’t one then. Why were you so determined to push me away _before_ that?” He frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Because I’m sixteen years older than you, Frey. Did you forget or something?” She smiled and shook her head.

“No. I didn’t forget. I just don’t think that matters much, I guess. I know other people get hung up about it, but I just… don’t see why that’s a bad thing.” She shrugged. He opened his mouth with an expression as if to launch into an explanation of some very obvious reasons why it was a bad thing, but then he faltered. She smirked.

“I, uh…” He stammered lamely. “I guess it’s because…” He trailed off.

“I understand perfectly in the case of someone who is underage.” She said reasonably. “But I am an adult. If we are both adults and we are both interested in one another, what can anyone object to about that?”

“I dunno, pet.” He chuckled, shaking his head with a smile of amusement. “I suppose maybe folk don’t like it when two people with very different levels of life experience get together or somethin’ like that. But you seem quite a bit more mature than your years. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t feel strange to me to be in love with a twenty-year-old.”

“And you never really act your age, do you?” She countered with a wicked smirk, pointing a finger at him.

“Guilty.” He raised his hands in surrender and laughed again.  She echoed the laugh and turned to look in the direction of one of the foot trails leading off into the brush.

“I think I like the look of that one.” She said, raising a hand in the direction of the narrowest of the trails.

“Sure looks like it’ll get us lost.” He muttered, squinting suspiciously down the trail. Then he looked at her fretfully. “Stay close to me, okay pet?” She nodded, took his hand with hers and squeezed it briefly before setting off down the narrow path.

Before long she was obliged to hold the dry, withered winter branches aside as they walked, passing them back into Bado’s outstretched hands so that they would not spring back and lash at him when she let go.

They walked another hour or two before the bite of winter left the air and the brown and white bleakness around them gave way to green. The overwhelming lively brilliance of spring was wrapped around them before long as they crossed into Yokmir forest, where the cold fingers of winter never reached.

“Yeah, this looks a lot more familiar now.” Bado nodded behind her as they pushed through the leaves and the trail widened a touch.

On and on they wandered through the dense foliage of the ever-spring forest until the sun began to set, casting a pink glow along the tree line.  They did not, however, find themselves in the clearing where Bado had been bitten, nor did they see any sign of any monsters resembling a wolf. Chipsqueaks scurried off the path and underfoot from time to time, and once a large wasp the size of Bado’s forearm flew by, but the creatures of Yokmir forest by and large did not even seem to notice them.

Finally as the last light was slipping away the two lovers, tired and footsore, gave up the hunt for the day.

“I suppose it was too much to hope for that we’d find what Forte couldn’t after only one day’s search…” Bado sighed.

“We’ll try again tomorrow.” Frey said softly, stroking his arm with her slender fingertips and smiling up at him reassuringly. “We’ll find it.” She assured him confidently.

“As you say.” He sighed again, but he was smiling back at her. Then he wrapped his arms about her and hugged her close. She returned the embrace readily.

“Ready?” She called softly, and felt him nod and hold her a little tighter. “Return!” She whispered with intense concentration. A bright white and green light wrapped around them and the pair disappeared from Yokmir in an instant, reappearing in the monster barn that was his temporary home.

“THERE you are!” A shrill exclamation in a tenor voice she knew in a moment to be Kiel startled Frey and Bado both into clutching each other a bit too tightly for a beat in their mutual surprise. Frey gasped, Bado released her upon the instant, stammering an apology before turning and looking surprised and guilty at his foster son’s wide-eyed face.

Frey held her breath as She and Bado both froze and waited for the boy’s reaction to the plain-as-day lovers’ intimacy he had just blundered into witnessing.

“I’ve been looking for you two all day!” He gestured dramatically. “Where on earth did you run off to?” Then he put his hands on his hips and frowned at them both. Only a rapidly tapping foot could have made the picture any more comically unlikely. Bado made a strange sound like a surprised laugh and a cough all at once and Frey blinked stupidly at Kiel. “Well?!” Kiel fumed. Another long pause elapsed until Bado shook his head and half-laughed-half-sighed in disbelief.

“ _That_ is not the thing I thought you’d be scolding me for, kiddo.” Kiel blinked in puzzlement at this and then tilted his head with a frown.

“What did you think I was going to scold you for?” Bado gave another clipped bray of harsh, exasperated laughter. Then comprehension dawned in Kiel’s eyes. “ _Oh_ , do you mean about you two being lovers? Is that meant to be a secret?” Frey turned crimson and blinked through her stupefied silence as she stared at Kiel in utter disbelief. “Ah, well…” He cleared his throat as he saw her bashful expression duplicated on his foster father’s face, “It might be a little late… that cat’s already out of the bag.”

“I—wha-? Didjyou?!” Bado stammered, gaping. Kiel curled up on himself slightly in his posture and smiled disarmingly as he fidgeted with his feet and laughed a nervous little laugh.

“Ahaha, well you guys are so _obvious_ , and well, I just kinda thought since everyone already guessed it there was no sense pretending like it wasn’t there, ya know?” Frey clapped her palms over her eyes and heard Bado groan a pace or two away. When she opened her eyes again Kiel was looking more confused than ever at her.

“What’s the problem?” he said in aggravatingly oblivious tones.

“Kiel…” Frey attempted to explain her concerns patiently to the boy, “You do know how furious Forte was with us when she merely suspected we were lovers, right? We’re just not ready for everyone in Selphia to know and be upset with us about it.”

“Forte is just uptight.” He pointed out. “Who do you think is going to be mad? And so what if they are? They’ll get over it.” A laugh escaped Bado’s mouth again.

“I wish I had your optimism, kid.” He shook his head.

“I _mean_ it!” Kiel retorted in a passionate voice. “You’re in love, right? What can anyone really say to that? And anyhow, what would it matter if they did object? You wouldn’t give up on each other just because someone else doesn’t like the idea, right?”

“Well, no, of course not!” Bado insisted indignantly as Frey shook her head in equally eager denial of the notion. “But it’ll be a lot easier on us if no one is trying to make trouble or keep us apart, you know?” Kiel wrinkled his nose at his foster father in displeased confusion.

“Who do you think could keep you apart if you want to be together?” The two lovers looked at each other fretfully. Meanwhile, Kiel had no intention of dropping his insistent opposition to these worries of theirs. “Ventuswill?”

“Well, yeah, maybe.” Frey shrugged. Kiel shook his shaggy blond head again.

“Even if they don’t much like it, it’s too late to be shy about it. You haven’t parted company willingly for a month and a half. It doesn’t take a great imagination to figure out _why_ , you know…” Bado winced again, glancing at Frey with an apologetic air. “So just quit worrying. If anyone meant to try and separate you by force you’d already know by now, especially with Ventuswill. She’d have just ordered it already if she gave a hoot whether you two are a couple.” The boy was downright impatient sounding now. Frey blinked in surprise at him and then a strange little laugh of sudden relief bubbled up and out of her throat. Embarrassment still drove a hot blush into her cheeks, but she heard sense in Kiel’s insistent explanations.  If the two of them really had been so plainly obvious and even Clorica was beginning to leave behind her reluctance to approve of Frey’s close contact with Bado, perhaps there was nothing to worry about after all…

“Alright, alright, Kiel. We’ll try not worrying so much, won’t we?” She turned to smile at Bado, who gave a half smile and sighed with a somewhat helpless air.

“Yeah.” He said simply, “We’ll try.” He put out a hand to her, palm up and when she laid hers in it he drew it up and kissed her slender fingertips once and smiled, his slightly pointed canines just barely visible. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as he held it loosely between them. Kiel Beamed at them both. Then, without warning a look of dawning comprehension came over him.

“Oh! That’s right!” He exclaimed shrilly, “Where is Forte? Is she not with you?” He looked at each of their faces in turn with eager expectation. The pressure of Bado’s hand wrapped around hers tightened momentarily and she saw his face flicker through a startled expression before turning to worry. In an instant, Kiel’s bright mood dimmed and mirrored both the evident concern in Bado’s face, and the growing dread in Frey’s heart.

“You don’t know where she is?” Frey said in a small voice. Kiel shook his head slowly.

“I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning.” His tenor voice quaked.


	43. A Friend Comes Around

For a long, anxious moment the three of them spiraled rapidly into sheer worry and bewilderment, staring at one another in turn as the same fear flashed through all their eyes. Kiel’s shimmered with barely restrained tears, and the color had drained from Bado’s face. Frey’s throat had gone dry. She drew a breath to try and say something to bolster their spirits, but a sudden squeeze of Bado’s hand, still holding her own, stopped her. He donned a skin-deep expression of determined confidence and looked steadily at each of them. When he spoke, his deep voice did not shake or falter.

“I don’t want to see anyone panicking, okay?” He said firmly. “Forte is a tough girl. She can handle herself just fine and doesn’t need babysittin’. We do this right. Each of us ask everyone we see when they last saw her. Frey and I will go to the clinic first, in case she was brought there. Kiel, you go ask everyone in the Bell hotel, including travelers, if they’ve had any sign of her. If she really _isn’t_ in Selphia, we’ll go looking for her in parties with the help of the townsfolk.”

This speech was given with such calm, steady exactitude that Frey nodded in agreement without question. Kiel, too, seemed soothed and the fragility that had overtaken him a moment ago was gone from his eyes. He nodded quickly and then darted off out of the barn and down the trail to the north and in the direction of the Bell hotel.

Bado drew a deep breath and turned to Frey, his eyes hardened with determination.

“Ready?” He called. She nodded again and they set off for the ‘Little Bandage’ clinic in the southwest corner of town. Every tense footfall sent a little jolt from the cold, hard cobblestone road traveling up through her bones. She had no idea how many times she had swallowed down panic before the white door of the clinic finally stood just before them.

‘Stay calm. She’s fine. Everything will be fine.’ She repeated in her mind, over and over. Bado turned his head and gave her a steadying smile, marred slightly by the worry still plainly showing in his eyes. He squeezed her hand once more and then reached for the handle. Frey pulled in a breath and held it tightly, willing herself not to anticipate a nightmare on the other side of the door.

They passed into the clinic silently, looking around for the doctor or another member of his family. Bado craned his neck and swept his blue-gray gaze over everything in the room. Frey let her breath out and inhaled another, slowly and silently.

“What kind of foolishness have you been engaged in, anyway?” Nancy’s strident voice scolded from around the corner and behind a privacy curtain. A irritable voice growled an answer, half choked by pain and frustration, but nonetheless familiar.

“It’s an—“ here she gasped and swore, “—occupational hazard!” Frey felt a bolt of shock, relief, and fear travel through her lover beside her as he twitched in sudden recognition. He released her hand and strode forward, calling out in his deep voice.

“Forte! You in here?” Forte’s voice swore again in a toneless hiss. Frey followed after Bado toward the sectioned off examination area and gasped as he swept open the curtain without invitation. Tension and suppressed anger emanated from his tall, sturdy frame as he glared down at his foster daughter.

Forte sat on the exam table bent forward with one leg folded and the other dangling over the side. She looked so small and lean without her armor, which lay in its disassembled pieces on the floor beside the table. Her right arm, partially outstretched toward Doctor Jones, who sat beside the table, stared with a distant, determined expression at a grizzly torn wound in her forearm, apparently in a trance as he bore with the blood to stitch the lacerations closed. Forte’s left hand gripped her right ankle upon the table with white-knuckled intensity. Upon their sudden entrance into the space, Nancy barked out a little noise of protestation and leapt up to cover Forte with a blanket, glaring at the intruders. It was entirely unnecessary, given that the chest binding the lady knight always wore while on duty was intact. Only her arms and shoulders were bare. Jones did not react to their appearance, but continued to sew the gashes closed with single-minded intensity, mumbling something inaudible continuously in a low voice.

Frey closed her eyes and swallowed. Nausea and guilt and other feelings besides churned in her stomach.

“Before you—open your—big mouth to—bark at me—“ Forte growled in halting little segments of speech between cringing each time the surgeon’s needle punctured her skin.

“I’ll bark all I like!” Bado returned hotly, not waiting for her to finish. “The hell’s the matter with you?”

“Injuries—ungh—are just part—of my job!” She hissed. Bado glared harder still.

“And what part of your job landed you this?” He boomed, nodding to her bleeding arm.

“Chasing off palm cats on the Autumn Road!” Forte returned with a flare of defiance. The dwarf and the lady knight stared jaggedly at one another for a long, uncomfortable moment. As she looked from one face full of anger and guilt to the other, Frey couldn’t help but sense that an entire unspoken conversation was taking place between her lover and her friend. Finally, Bado huffed a bitter little sigh and turned away.

“Doc, you think you could break her leg when you get done with that arm? Seems that would be the only way to keep her out of trouble long enough for an old dog to get a good night’s sleep.”

“What a thing to say!” Nancy fumed. “Don’t listen to him, dear,” She said placatingly to her patient, but though Frey fully expected an angry reply from the young woman, Forte said nothing. Her eyes were aimed at her surrogate Father’s back as he left the room but they were unfocused and distant. Glancing between the doorway that Bado had just left through and her friend’s ashen face, Frey hesitated, torn between following him and staying with Forte. She compromised by apologizing awkwardly to the Doctor and his wife.

“Sorry for barging in like that.” She bowed in a little conciliatory gesture.

“Nonsense, dear, that big oaf’s bad manners aren’t _your_ fault.” Nancy waved a hand as if she were shooing away a fly, rather than an apology. Forte raised her deep blue eyes suddenly and looked into Frey’s green ones.

“I’m not angry with you… either of you.” She said very deliberately, her voice suddenly steady as though what occupied her mind had erased the pain of her injury. Frey stared back with a worried expression, swallowing silently around a blank space where a reply would have been pertinent. The knight continued with a weary but knowing sigh. “I guess there are some things we just do anyway despite anyone’s objections… because they are in our natures.”

“Forte…” Frey began, not knowing where to go from there.

“I’m done fighting with you two.” Her friend continued solemnly, “And I’m done telling you how to behave and what you can and can’t be.” A small smile and an apologetic curve of her brow suddenly appeared on Forte’s strained face. Frey’s heart fluttered briefly. “So go after him, please.” She nodded toward the door Bado had left through. “Just because his temper turns inward doesn’t mean he doesn’t need someone to talk him down.” Frey nodded back to her friend, ignoring the puzzled, suspicious look that nurse Nancy had bent at her.

“Thank you, Forte.” She said sincerely, and then turned and followed after the tall dwarf whom she and her friend both loved for different reasons. 


	44. Worry Wears Him Thin

Frey found her lover just outside the clinic, leaning against the building in the gloomy dim of twilight with his arms crossed and a stormy expression made fiercer and more unwelcoming by the wolfish teeth in his mouth. Her heart softened all over again as she recognized the worry and guilt underneath his uncharacteristically moody countenance. She laid a gentle hand on his arm and entreated him with a smile.

“She says she isn’t angry with us and she won’t tell us what we can and can’t be anymore.” She explained gently. Bado raised his eyebrows and stared suspiciously at her in response to this.

“So, Jones dosed her with somethin’ then? That can’t have come from a sober-minded Forte.”

Frey shook her head with a patient little laugh.

“I think she just realized that our determination to be together is of the same nature as her determination to save you. She knows we’re just as unlikely to be persuaded out of it as she is, so she’s calling a truce.” Bado drew in a long breath through his nose and his grumpy expression loosened as his chest expanded around it. He sighed out a long, worn out note and became a portrait of weariness, fully free of the anger from a few moments ago.

“Well…” He began, “I wouldn’t trade what I’ve decided to be stubborn about to keep her from doing what she’s determined to do, even if it is stupid and ridiculous.” Frey worked one of his big, angular hands out of his folded arms and squeezed it with both her pale, slender ones.

“All the more reason for us to get to work.” She said softly. “The sooner we get you cured, the sooner Forte, you, and I can all have what we want. He gave a slight smile reluctantly and took her hand firmly in his as they walked down the cobblestone road together.

“We’d better go make sure Kiel knows his sister is okay, aside from needing to be patched up some. Frey made a small noise of assent as they turned left and headed toward the Bell Hotel and Bathhouse. She watched his face carefully, waiting for the tension in his lined brow to loosen and let his face relax into the tired smile she’d grown accustomed to him putting on for her despite everything that had happened to him over the last two months.

Together they walked silently over the old stone road as the last of the daylight faded until the eastern architecture of the bathhouse loomed in front of them. True, it looked rather out of place just a few blocks from a gigantic western Noradian castle, but the Bell had its own kind of nonsequetorial charm to it in Selphia. As they neared the front door a small, dejected looking figure began to walk out of it with his brow furrowed and his eyes downcast. Frey felt Bado tense as he saw his foster son and called out to him immediately. The thought occurred to her that he wanted to ease the boy’s mind just as soon as he could throw the words from his mouth. He really was a caring, gentle guardian to the orphaned siblings, despite his apparent distance, lamentable sense of humor and gruff, abrasive expressions of worry.

“Kiel! Over here” Kiel looked up and a combination of hope and alarm kindled in his face. He jogged forward the few paces between them and looked urgently up into Bado’s scruffy, bearded face.

“Did you find her?” He asked immediately. Bado nodded.

“She’s okay. She’s injured, but it’s nothing that would give her long term effects. Good luck getting her to mellow while she heals, though…” He added in a grumbling tone. Kiel let out a huge sigh and bent double, resting his little hands on his skinny knees.

“Oh, that’s a relief!” He huffed. “She’s been so obsessed with the wolf hunt I was afraid for the worst…”

“Yeah she said it was palm cats on the autumn road this time.” Frey assured the boy.

“Huh, she must be really worn down from all that running around for palm cats to get the drop on her…” Kiel mused, tapping at his chin with a finger. Bado grunted a little noise of agreement and looked bent-browed down at the paving stones for a moment or two.

“Well… I’m beat.” Kiel said finally, stretching his arms high in the air, just barely high enough to tap Bado’s shoulder if he wanted to. Frey suppressed a little chuckle over how much taller her lover was than most everyone in town and squeezed his hand affectionately. He turned to smile faintly at her. “Worrying is tiring work!”

“Yeah, I’ll second that, Kiel.” He sighed. “It’s high time we all got some rest. He looked up at the stars hanging like dazzling gems in the inky night sky above them.

With a pang, Frey glanced back down the road toward the residential district, once again wrenched by the knowledge that her lover could not return to his own home and had no choice but to dwell in a barn like an animal. As if sensing her thought, he smiled down at her and tossed his head with a little gesture toward the castle in the center of town.

“C’mon, keeper.” He hummed in his deep voice, “It’s time you put your monster away in the barn where he belongs.” She couldn’t help but smirk in response to this, and all the while Kiel beamed at them each in turn, smiling brightly on their mutual affection.

They parted company with fatigued but cheerful waves to the boy as he strode toward the clinic to check on his injured sibling. Frey and Bado walked hand-in-hand through the empty night streets, tentatively glancing about so they might part or hide their interlocked fingers if a witness rounded the corner. It was too late at the end of a long day to want to go through explaining their relationship to anyone, so the stubborn desire to draw comfort from that simple, innocent contact was all that prevented them from walking side by side but with hands stuffed in their pockets out of the cold.

No one appeared to challenge their bond on the way home, though, and by the time the pair stepped over the threshold into the barn that had become Bado’s home, he looked ready to drop from exhaustion. He swept a tired look around the room and then turned around and opened his arms to her with a weary look just slightly pleading on his lined face. It was remarkable how the crow’s feet and smile lines etched around his features could take on such a different meaning depending on his mood and health. In times like these he looked like he’d seen hell and worse over countless years and barely had the will to stand up in the morning, having done so every day of his lonely life thus far. Not two days prior those same lines had described a lifetime of laughter and lighthearted mischief. Frey wrapped her arms around his sturdy frame and he melted into the hug with his big hands pulling her against him with a quietly needing pressure.

She held him for a long time, breathing in and out slowly half a dozen times. He said nothing, and neither did she. She may have been made a miniature of a person next to her over-tall lover but no one would have disputed that she was the one tenderly embracing him. He who clearly needed all the comfort and steady, earnest support she could give just now merely pulled her against him in silence, breathing slowly and resting his eyes as he pressed his mouth against her hair.

“Hey…” She called, barely above a whisper when he finally loosened the hug and sighed in reluctant resignation to let her leave him for the night. “Are you okay? I’ll stay out here with you if you want me to.” He shook his head.

“No…” He barely managed a hoarse whisper, looking down at the straw covered floor.

“What’s wrong?” She cooed, holding one of his big hands in her two little ones and massaging his palm with an entreating look up into his blue-gray eyes. He sighed fretfully once more and shook his head.

“Nothing, love, I’m just worried is all. I want to get me cured so we can be together, but that thing roughed us up pretty good last time, you know? And seeing Forte hurt like that… it kinda shook me up, you know?”

“ _You_ gave as good as you got last time.” She pointed out. “Plus that mongrel got the drop on us before. This time we’re hunting _him_ and we’ll take him down.” Her voice was full of determination and he smiled in his tired way in response.

“I’m glad one of us is feeling confident about it.” He sighed.

“You’ll see. We can do this, Bado.” She insisted. He nodded and smiled again before hugging her goodnight.

“Go on back to the castle, love.” He nodded toward the door. “I’m gonna sleep like a dead man tonight, I can tell. Go get some rest and don’t worry about me. I’ll see you in the morning.” She nodded and stretched way up on tiptoes to beg playfully for a goodnight kiss. His smile widened and he obliged her.

“Love you, Frey.” He said softly as he kissed her lips once, twice, and a third time for good measure.

“I love you too.” She purred, squeezing him once more before turning to leave with reluctant glances back over her shoulder. She hated to leave him out here alone. All she wanted was to stay beside him. It seemed far too cruel that they should be made to stay apart at night when she most wanted to be right next to him, snuggled up in bed and sleeping peacefully or perhaps not sleeping persay…

She shook off the amorous train of thought as she crossed the threshold to her own quarters back at the castle’s main building. It would only keep her up late to think about what she’d _like_ to be doing with her new boyfriend, were he not afflicted by a werewolf’s curse. She tried to pacify her hunger for him by silently insisting that they’d be able to have each other completely just as soon as they’d put down the loose wolf and the curse for good. All the more reason to pursue that goal with single-minded determination once again first thing in the morning.

Frey settled down in her bedding and pulled the blankets up very nearly over her head. She promised herself she’d find that damned wolf. She promised herself she’d have Bado the way she wanted him and the way he wanted her too, very soon. The hungry desire for him grumbled at being kept waiting but reluctantly gave way for the time being. Frey gave herself one last conciliatory reassurance, thinking to herself that at least she could escape to a luscious dream where there were no obstacles between her and her dwarf lover as she snuggled deeper into the sheets and pictured him between them with her. 


	45. Keeping His Fire Alight

Bado growled a disappointed swear and sat down heavily on a fallen tree, hanging his head. Puffs of vapor chilled by the frigid winter air billowed in front of his nose and mouth but his expression was hidden from Frey, who sighed and looked sadly at the tense shoulders and bowed head of her lover.

His ears had gotten larger and were beginning to creep higher up on his head and his hair was wilder and darker than usual and it too was starting to encroach on areas it had no business occupying. She found it hard to say whether the grayish tinge to his skin was the oncoming wolf form or just a product of the overcast winter sky above them, but the way his nails were getting narrower, harder and black at the tips was quite clear. And of course his teeth could not be mistaken. The elongated pointed canines and jagged tipped molars in his mouth could hardly have looked less like a man’s teeth, even if all but his eye color and ears were still the facial features of his usual self. The more the wolf’s silver shone in his normally blue-gray irises, the more tired, strained, and worried Bado looked.

Frey stepped over to him and purred a little encouragement to him as she stroked his cheek with one delicate outstretched hand.

“Hey, now…” She said softly, “No one said this would be easy, but I’m here with you, Bado. No need to despair.”

“Sorry…” He mumbled, leaning slightly into her touch, but he did not raise his head yet. “I… I’m just tired, Frey… It’s so hard to hold it back…” She frowned fretfully down at his dark hair as he continued to slouch, staring at his own boots below.

This kind of comment had become so commonplace as to be a constant reminder to her that the mind of the wolf always occupied part of her lover’s head except on the night of the new moon. That and occasional bouts of confusion and forgetfulness suggested that his memory was suffering from the strain too. He was having difficulty counting days and nights and could not always recall what she had said to him not half an hour before. Always apologizing, shaking his head and running his hands wearily through his hair and over his eyes, Bado redoubled his struggles by burdening himself with feelings of shame. She knew damn well he didn’t want to become the wolf or listen to the impulses of the beast in his head, but for dragons’ sake! Didn’t he know by now she wouldn’t judge him for what he couldn’t control?

“I’m so tired…” He sighed again, absentmindedly, as if all his weary mind could hold at present was the constant fatigue that plagued him.

“I know…” Frey whispered, raising his chin with her delicate fingers until his silver-tinged eyes with purple shadows beneath them turned up to her bright green ones. “It’s going to be okay. It will get better. We’ll stop it.” She assured him, stroking his dark, ruffled hair. Aside from the drooping, wilted aspect, he looked altogether wilder and fiercer than his true self. But that wildness and fierceness did not reach the gentle touch of his big hands. He reached for her and pulled her into a soft, careful embrace, timidly seeking comfort from his diminutive little lover. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and cuddled his head to her chest, nuzzling his dark hair where it stood up in various directions.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered.

“Don’t be.”

They paused like that for a long while, him nuzzling his face into the fabric of her scarf and coat in an apparent attempt to bury himself in the softness and warmth of her person, while she tried to will stamina, hope, and courage into him from her own heavily taxed stores.

The second day following the new moon had seen the pair of them wandering the woods at an eager pace again, darting down narrow foot trails and scarcely stopping for food or rest in their impatience to accomplish their goal. No sign of the clearing where Bado had been bitten appeared. The day after that they stumbled through older, narrower trails with more brush cover until they could hardly get through the foliage without hacking at it with their swords. Still the wolf did not show itself and though they thought they were fairly well lost by sundown, no familiar clearing appeared at the end of any of the trails. By the sixth day since the new moon, they had fallen into this routine with a resigned sense of stubborn hope, pushing down thoughts of futility and inevitability as they pushed down the weeds and underbrush beneath their boots.

Today was the seventh day since the new moon. The animal aspect of Bado’s current, complicated self was gaining ground. Judging by the recent reappearance of his bottle brush tail and the fine fur beginning to line his backbone, elbows, and ears, it was nearly time for him to tip into the territory of being more wolf than man. Now that some of the colors and textures of his person were changing, it would soon follow that his internal structure, his bones and ligaments and muscles, would begin to match the beast that had bitten him.

Not yet, though… He wasn’t a beast or even mostly a beast yet. She still saw him—the real him—even through the silver eyes and pointed teeth and grayish-black tinge to the rims of his eyes and his lips. He looked pained when she gazed on him now, tracing his features with her eyes, but he was still lovely to her. Just a slightly wilder, more weary version of the man she was so desperately in love with, Bado could not help but melt her heart and kindle a fire in her chest and stomach all at once. She looked on him with smoky eyes—like those of someone gazing up by firelight under a summer night sky full to the brim with bright white stars, winking pinpoints of dazzling celestial fire dotting a velvety black void. She looked at him with eyes full of love, wonder, concern and compassion… and hunger, too.

The burning embers in her belly sparked and glowed when their eyes locked into a mutual stare for too long, or when his skin brushed against hers where there were breaks in his gear or clothes. He would swallow, blink, blush, and turn away, sometimes stammering a change of subject or tone, always slightly shaky and fretful, and it was getting worse by the day. If she weren’t so sure he wanted her based on their previous amorous exchanges, Frey might have taken his new reluctance personally, but it was too obviously tied to his gradual transformation to feel herself the victim. Even so, it pained and frustrated her every time he turned away or deliberately stepped apart from her when all she wanted was to be tightly pinned to him and press his mouth with hers.

He blinked into her eyes once or twice now as he saw that hunger manifest in them and then reenacted the very thing she had just been remembering with disappointment in her mind. He looked off down and sideways and leaned back away from her. Through with the silent reluctance to share an intimate touch, she turned his face back to hers gently with her fingertips again and stared into his eyes with hers smoldering and parted her lips.

“Kiss me…” She pleaded with a pining exhalation. “Please…” His breath trembled before and after he nervously swallowed, but his eyes were half lidded and growing dilated. His posture rose up from his tailbone to his head and he pulled her closer, widening his footing so she stood between his knees where he sat perched on the mossy log on the side of the forest trail. He leaned nearer and sighed in a shaky voice dripping with his own hunger into her ear.

“You know I want to, Frey…” He said in husky tones. “But I’d better not…” Disappointment descended on her but she didn’t move away and neither did he. His ears twitched as he continued to hover his mouth very close to the soft, warm skin of her neck. She could almost taste his anticipation. Hell, he was pouring it out of him by the pint the longer he remained so nearly kissing her already. What was he afraid of anyway? It wasn’t as if he was already a wolf. In her mind Frey pouted at being denied her gorgeously masculine lover… his thick strong hands, rich deep voice, and mature visage were already things she had grown to feel entitled to. She would never try to force him to bestow these on her, but she felt that even the dire circumstances they were embroiled in could not have justified withholding himself from her. It was a childish way to view it and she knew it. He was only trying to be cautious and preserve her safety, but still… She hated the taste of disappointment on her tongue where the taste of _him_ should have been…

He gently pushed her a step or two backward away from him and stood up, mustering his resolve to continue the search or return home without being lured into an exchange of lips and tongues. She stared up at him with a dejected look, not quite mature enough to temper it. The logical part of her knew she was only punishing her lover and herself with tactics like that, but still a very ridiculous and childish part of her wanted him to know how let down she felt, going back without _any_ kisses.

He glanced at her face and his mouth thinned to an unhappy line while his brow curved apologetically. Then he turned away and began to walk, looking down and sidelong to check that she was following in his peripheral vision. They walked along in silence, her trailing slightly behind him and his shoulders rounded with fatigue and worries. Frey’s green eyes never left the space between his broad shoulders as she stepped in the large footprints he left behind. All the way home they walked, realizing again for the seventh day in a row that they were not, in fact, lost at all. Having run along these paths and through these woods all day for the last week straight, she could hardly imagine not knowing where to turn to find her way back home now.

She furrowed her brow, temporarily distracted from her unappeased appetite for her lover’s lips, tongue, and hands. Why _hadn’t_ they managed to get even a little lost over the last seven days? She had made sure to run haphazardly down a series of paths without so much as pausing to consider which trail she was taking on several occasions and each time rather than becoming less sure of where she and her partner ended up, she would find herself and him mysteriously right back on the paths leading to Selphia’s southern entrance. It was as if they were in some curiously good-natured magical labyrinth designed to _prevent_ those who wandered in from losing their way.

Suddenly Frey stopped walking and looked down at the dirt path beneath her feet with a critical expression. Immediately alerted to the cessation of her footsteps, Bado turned and looked quizzically at her, tilting his wild-haired head and aiming his silvery eyes at her face. A vague impression nagged at her mind along the edges. Something _was_ different since the time they had gotten lost together the first time… but _what_? She narrowed her eyes as she glared down at the soil, pebbles, and grass.

“Frey?” His lovely, deep voice called gently, threaded slightly with concern. She shook off her half-understood notion and sighed.

“I can’t figure it out…” She grumbled. He stepped closer to her, angling his head further to try and catch her eye. It was a hopeless endeavor, given he was already better than three heads taller than her. She stubbornly waited for him to touch beneath her chin to lift her eyes to his. In this he did not disappoint her and she looked up into his tired, earnest eyes with a blush and a glow of satisfaction. Something about how he could not help but search her eyes and brush stray hair from her face as he confirmed to his satisfaction that she was not overly troubled or sad gratified her immensely. Then, ignited by her burning affection for him in light of his show of concern, Frey’s determination rose up in her chest, giving her that drop-and-leap feeling beneath her lungs as if she had just jumped from the top of a waterfall.

“I _will_ figure this out.” She said firmly, her eyes glinting with fire as she looked at weary face. “And I _will_ see you cured.” His expression softened a touch and a brave ghost of a smile played about his mouth despite the menacing wolf’s teeth lurking therein.

“I know you will, pet.” He hummed and squeezed both her hands in his. “I’m in good hands.” She smiled in response to this and then felt her brow twist into a mischievous version of her previous expression.

“And, when I do…” She heard her own voice turn low and teasing with a very particular kind of implication behind it. “I expect you to make good on your promise.” His eyebrows raised and a smirk tugged on one corner of his mouth, betraying a kindling of his spirits. She tossed her head a little to swish her bangs out of her eyes and assumed an air of mockingly haughty expectation. “I can chase everyone out of the East wing at the castle or if you prefer we can hold up at your place.” He gave her an obvious farce of an affronted expression and she gave one more push in reply: “Though to be honest, I’d take you in the barn or even right out here in the woods.” The wicked grin she’d been keeping under wraps broke its bonds and spread across her face. A hoarse laugh burst forth from her surprised lover.

“Dragons help me, Frey. If I knew you were such a firecracker I don’t know if I’d have agreed to come out to the woods alone with you in the first place. I’m surprised you didn’t manage to get my drawers off that first day we came out here.” He laughed. “How’s a guy supposed to defend against such a treacherous little temptress?” He hugged her and nuzzled her hair affectionately as she wrapped her slender arms around his broad frame and squeezed him back.

“Too late now.” The wicked twinge in her voice hadn’t left. “You’re already in over your head and I’m not letting you off easy when it’s time to collect what you promised me.” It was so good to hear him laughing again. This kind of over-the-top sexuality wasn’t her usual fare when it came to being playful with him but at this point she’d have said things twice as embarrassing just to get him to crack a smile.

“So in other words, you won’t let me off until I get you off?” He replied with an extremely crooked grin full of wolfish teeth. She gave an exasperated sigh in response and shook her head, laughing.

“Leave it to you and your goofy sense of humor to ruin all the sexiness I just mustered with a _pun_.” She swatted his shoulder and wriggled out of his grasp with playful indignance. He chuckled again and caught her fingers gently in his that they might walk the rest of the way hand-in-hand. Frey’s heart brimmed with relief and she beamed up at her tall dwarf lover. Even in the midst of this storm of worry and hardship, he knew just how to make her smile and she loved him for it all the more.


	46. Her Contagious Fever

“Princess, are you feeling alright?” Vishnal’s startled voice broke into the daydream Frey had been enjoying and she cursed inwardly at the servant for the disruption. The sweet warm thrum of the amorous vision she’d just been afloat in still lingered and she could practically feel Bado’s short beard brushing against her jaw and his warm lips on hers.

“W-what?” She replied dimly. These kinds of daydreams were about all that could sustain her while her partner fretted away the hours in her monster barn between forays into the forests looking for the beast that had bitten him. And today, the 8th day since the new moon, she was depending on them quite heavily to fill in the space where his touch and kisses should have been.

“Your face is bright red. Do you have a fever?” He reached out a hand as if to press it to her forehead and she flinched away from him.

“I-uh.. I’m fine. Thanks, though.” She said hurriedly, not looking him in the eye as she made a move to walk around him to the kitchens. But, Clorica was faster. She intercepted Frey with one strong but delicate hand wrapped around her wrist and tested her forehead with the other. Frey blushed more deeply crimson and looked sidelong at the wall to avoid her friend’s face. Other people _probably_ couldn’t tell what she was thinking by looking into her dilated eyes, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

“Feels like you’re a little warm, but probably not feverish. How do you feel?” Clorica asked in her floating, feminine voice.

“I’m really alright you guys. There’s no need for this.” Frey assured them, forcing a laugh to try and throw them off her trail.

“Why are you blushing so much?” Clorica asked steadily, looking directly into her eyes.

“It’s hot in here. You two don’t feel it?” She lied. She hated lying and she was terrible at it, but how could she possibly admit what was really on her mind? Surely there was no one who would be less enthused than Vishnal to hear about how badly she wanted hear Bado’s breathing tremble in between kisses and see his pointed ears turn red and twitch the way they always did when he was in the thick of it. Maybe she wasn’t being entirely honest with her two butler friends, but they wouldn’t thank her for candor in this moment, that much was certain.

“Feels fine to me.” Visnhal said, looking faintly upward as he paid attention to the temperature of the castle hallway for a moment.

“Yeah, and if it is so warm, why are you just standing around in here staring into space anyway?” Added Clorica in unsympathetic tones. Frey tossed a hand up in a dismissive wave and stepped between the two and strode down the hall with a concentrated effort to look unconcerned.

“How should I know? I was just spacing out for a bit. It’s not like _you_ can claim you never do that.” She called back over her shoulder with a wink at Clorica, who blushed and looked slightly indignant. The pair of butlers did not follow her down the hall and she slipped into the kitchen and sighed out a breath of relief, barely daring to believe she’d gotten out of the situation without being seen through.

It really was unusually strong today though… She furrowed her brow as she gathered up apples, several fresh onigiri the butlers had made at her request and a glass bottle full of pink melon lemonade and tucked them all in a basket under her arm. She might as well have a fever at this rate and it wasn’t anything to do with a virus. Frey could feel the burn of her stirred-up blood in her cheeks, ears, lips, and, well… places you don’t mention in polite company. Like an itch she had no power to scratch on her own, that persistent hunger gnawed at her and conjured up visions of her handsome, masculine lover unbidden and completely out of her control.

The sensations her imagination emulated were near enough to the real thing there was little difference as far as her body was interpreting them, except of course the lack of any true fulfillment of these desires. She could keep it at bay pretty well, normally, but there were occasionally times, like today, where the emotional frustration of holding back was magnified by the physical urge to the point of producing actual physiological symptoms to deal with and times like these had her patience at its thinnest.

Maybe it really was an age thing… He didn’t seem to be going through _quite_ as much discomfort as she was in terms of resisting it. But then again, she didn’t _know_ that, either. Maybe under his relatively unperturbed exterior he was suffering just as much or more than she was from the unsated hunger. Didn’t men generally have a harder time with that? She’d heard it referred to as a ‘need’ by men more often than with women, but sex drive was not exactly a subject she was an expert on, anyhow.

She sighed heavily as she stepped out of the back door into the fields behind the castle. Not knowing was certainly inconvenient. She couldn’t _quite_ convince herself that being able to remember her dating history would make it all easy, now, but at the same time… not even knowing whether she was a virgin was probably going to make it a little awkward her first time since losing her memory. She shook her head, trying to dislodge the thoughts for a few minutes at least.

Despite the still-harsh cold of winter all around her the sky was blue and songbirds were even singing. It was a couple hours after sunrise and Bado was probably eager to resume the hunt for today. This fever in her blood was something she’d woken up with, practically moaning in her sleep from an overheated dream sequence with her lover, fully a man like the night of the new moon, and fully free of inhibition… Oh, it had been a good dream. She let a sly little smile reach her lips as she remembered it. Generally everyone in Selphia saw her as innocent and cute, so her sexuality, which was probably more active a thing than any of her friends around the town guessed, felt like a well-kept secret she had luxury of hiding from them.

A little chuckle sounded behind her closed lips as Frey finished the walk to across the fields to the barn where her boyfriend spent his nights. She stamped snow off her shoes and pulled open the plain wooden door, stepping inside with a cheerful greeting call.

“Morning, sunshine!” Her voice chimed. She had made a last minute decision to try and obscure her amorous mood with sprightliness, that she might spare him the unpleasantness of keeping himself in check.

As her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light in the barn she saw Bado’s ears turn upward a little and his posture straighten up eagerly once he saw and heard her entrance. He stood up and moved toward her.

“What kept you?” His voice sounded deeper and rougher than his true self, another side effect of the change that was bending his body more and more by the day.

“Getting up to trouble in my dreams.” She said offhandedly with a shrug. “Figured I’d spare the real you and try to cool down a bit before I came out here.” It wasn’t a lie. She _had_ tried… it just hadn’t worked very well. Bado bent his silver-tinged eyes at her with a look part curious and part suspicious. Maybe she’d been too vague after all.

He stepped closer and looked down at her from his greater height with another of his multifaceted expressions, not quite one thing and not quite another, as always. She was on the verge of pondering what kind of mixture of emotion his face was describing this time when something changed in him. He drew a long breath through his nose with his mouth just open as if he meant to speak, but just as he parted his lips a bit further to make room for the words on his tongue, his eyelids widened momentarily and the cognizance vanished from his eyes. Their lids drooped over an unfocused, gleaming stare and he inhaled deliberately through his nose again. The silver in his eyes was suddenly afire with a pale glow, and he stared at her continually without blinking or speaking. Some kind of intangible pull reached out from his strange eyes and made to grasp her.

She blushed hotly and turned her eyes off of his.  Then she swallowed and stepped away, turning to set the basket of food down on the top of a plain wooden cabinet in which the common implements of farming and monster care were housed. That look just now… she was afraid to say for certain, but part of it looked the very way she felt. What of the other part though? Was he already at war with himself and his desires this morning, too? Or was he even _conscious_ of the ravenous way he had begun to devour her with his eyes.

“Sorry I kept you waiting so long.” She went on. “Are you hungry?” She began unpacking the basket while she waited for a reply. His big footsteps sounded carefully on the floorboards of the monster barn. He was treading so deliberately lightly that as he drew up just behind her she could practically taste the tension in his every muscle. She stilled, an apple in her hand suspended just above the basket from which she had plucked it.

“Yeah…” His low voice came out husky with more than a little growl in it. Frey’s breath stopped in her throat. She felt the heat coming off of him through her clothing, despite the space of air still between their bodies. She swallowed and turned her head, looking up at him over her shoulder. His face, still mostly that of a man save for the inhuman silver color in his eyes and the pointed wolf’s teeth behind his lips, was flushed and his eyes still burned, darker and hungrier than usual. Without her permission, Frey’s eyes flicked between his eyes and his lips.

“Do you, um… do you want some breakfast?” She asked in a faltering voice, her gaze repeatedly and involuntarily drawn back to his mouth as she spoke. He leaned in slightly, wound his big hands around her waist and, and pulled her against him.

“No.” He said, low, heavy, and breathless. Frey’s eyes drifted shut as she lost herself in savoring the warmth and pressure of him. She leaned forward with her palms on the edge of the waist-high cabinet. He shifted his weight, letting more of it press against her and stooped his neck and shoulders, bringing his face in reach of her and squeezing her tightly in his large, warm hands. Before long his mouth grazed her neck as she tilted her head back and gasped quietly. The sound seemed to hit him like a bolt of electricity. Tension gripped every muscle in his body as it travelled through him. Several heartbeats elapsed while he drew in another long, deep breath through his nose, tilting her head by nudging it with his face as he breathed her in.

“Frey….” He exhaled with that same growling undertone. He gripped her more tightly and through the fabric of her skirt she felt just how ‘hungry’ he was. Blood rushed to her face and her mouth opened to accommodate a heavy breath in and out again. A heady combination of confusion and eager amorous aspirations warred over control of her will. Where was this coming from anyway? Hadn’t he been the one to insist he wouldn’t have sex with her for fear of the risks while he was cursed? He didn’t seem nearly so hesitant now, and she wasn’t at all sure she even wanted him to resume his earlier reticence. It felt good… _really_ good. She drew in another trembling breath as his hands moved up along her sides, the tips of her breasts growing defined through the fabric of her dress as they and other parts of her anticipated his fingertips.

She exhaled again, shivering as she silently visualized what she hoped he’d do next. Words had deserted her and all she had was the hunger that begged for him to satisfy her. As his hands rose up and reached the gaps in her dress beneath her arms, she curled her back and stretched out her legs, pushing her backside more firmly against his front. His hands slipped beneath the dress and he gasped quietly and then exhaled in lustful approval as his thick, masculine fingers cupped her breasts and brushed against her nipples. She blinked with openmouthed surprise of her own, dimly felt through the intoxicating pleasure that was already rising up over her head and drowning her in perfect, dreamlike enjoyment of his every touch.

Somewhere in her lust-drunk mind it registered that if he sounded surprised he may not have been totally in control of himself, but just now the act of stopping him to look into this possibility seemed a travesty. She didn’t want it to stop…

“Frey…” He breathed her name again, feverish and only semi-coherent. “Want you…” He growled,  trembled and pulled in ragged breaths full of desire intense enough to become torture if left unfulfilled. She huffed a couple more panting breaths and let her eyes half-close as he clutched her more tightly to him and pinned her against the cabinet with his weight all in his hips and grinding against her thighs from behind. Somewhere along the way she had risen up on her toes to increase her height a little and make it easier for his pelvis to align with hers. Now, with an impatient grunt he lifted her feet off the ground and curled over her as he propped her upon and against the waist-high cabinet and ground himself against her with a groan.

The sound hit her ears and shocked Frey partly out of her desire-fog. There was nothing in it that suggested pleasure or delight, only a deep, primal need wrapped around her lover and holding him by his throat and voice in that moment. That sound was the man she loved in thrall to his hunger, moving from compulsion and animal drive rather than love, affection, or playfulness. Whatever sexual need she’d heard men complain of and describe, it wasn’t _this_. This was a few scant degrees shy of a _sickness_.

As she came back to herself, furrowing her brow with concern and confusion, he rolled his hips against her and a hoarse breath came out of him with a raspy, broken quality to it. An anguished noise followed it, distorted by the pull that made him lean most of his great weight and height into her, pressing her thighs painfully against the rim of the cabinet from behind her. She gasped in a pained, shrill breath and then called out in a half-panicked voice.

“Bado! You’re h-hurting me! Stop!”

A spasm went through him and he froze. She could feel the fever in him falter, replaced by cold fear in his aura as a shiver went through him and he released her instantly, staggering backward with uneven footsteps. She let her breath out as her feet returned to the floor of the barn and turned around, still leaning on the cabinet while she tested her shaky legs with her weight.

Her eyes found his and her heart dropped into her belly. Panic, icy and jagged seized the face of her lover, his silver-tinged eyes widening in horror and the sound of his breath speeding up to match the rapid rise and fall of his chest. The color left his face and he looked pale and gray and terrified into her own wide eyes. He was as frightened and undone in this moment as he had been utterly absorbed in heat and lust a moment before, and he looked just as shocked as she was about it.

All at once Frey understood. Bado wasn’t the only thing in his own mind and body, anymore. Something else had taken hold of him and it ran counter to everything the real him valued and wanted. Whatever it was that had driven him forward until his body bent over hers and his weight crushed hers painfully against the wooden edges of the cabinet, it did not care about her wellbeing… only the need… only the carnal, animal drive to answer that primal urge. 


	47. All But a Beast

“N-no…” Bado’s voice shook as the word escaped him in his own voice. “No-no-no-no-NO!” He continued in ever-louder and more fearful tones, his hands running up through his hair as his eyes widened and jaw locked. He clutched at his head and fell to his knees, and then his elbows. Finally, he curled his backbone and pushed his head against the floor, shaking violently and letting a long, anguished sound escape his clenched teeth.

Tears sprang into Frey’s eyes as she saw him collapse to the floor and she stumbled forward, falling to her knees just before him and reaching out to touch, reassure, and coax until he would relax and breath slowly and calmly. But the instant she touched his shoulder he jerked away from her.

“NO!” He barked in a panicked voice. “Don’t!” She flinched backward in shock and hurt, shaking her head in confusion.

“Bado—“ She cried, but he shouted out a ragged, strangled cry of pain and shouted a manic, desperate plea:

“GO!” His frantic voice slammed into her ears, “GET OUT OF HERE AND LOCK ME IN!”

“I ca—“

“JUST GO! NOW!” He yelled, digging his nails into his scalp and curling into a knot of himself on the floor, his expression buried in the floorboards and unknowable except by the tortured sounds in his deep voice.

She hesitated.

“PLEASE!” He begged. “Pleasejus’GO—“ the syllables began to break down and blur together. “Idon’wannahurtchuFreyPLEASEge’outNOW!!

She turned and ran through the door, desperate to do whatever she could to calm him, even if it meant fleeing the room and shutting him in this impromptu prison. The desperation in his pleas was a dagger in her heart and the ragged, pained, and half-incoherent version of his voice that wailed and gnashed in pain through the door as she slammed it shut and turned the heavy iron key stole her breath and filled her eyes with tears.

She needed help. Something was wrong. Something was tormenting him and though she knew what it was, she had no idea how to help. A beast… an animal spirit was embedded in him and it was driving him against his will to instinctual animal acts, bereft of humanity. Her breathing quickened to a frantic pace as she wracked her brain to think of what to do. Then a sudden thought flashed through her mind.

If it was a beast that was fighting him from the inside, maybe a beast could help him from the outside. She leaned forward for a half breath and then sprang into a sprint toward the north entrance of the castle. Ventuswill would know what to do. If anyone could help him, it was the elder dragon guardian of Selphia.

Her little feet thudded against the hard packed earth and the frigid winter air burned her lungs with cold, but Frey pelted along as fast as her slender legs could carry her.

“Venti!” She shouted, breathless and desperate as she burst into the Great Dragon Hall. She doubled over, falling to her knees and panting, her shaking hands palms-down on the marble floor.

The huge dragon swiveled her long neck around and stared in startled incredulity at the princess. Then, perceiving the measure of her dismay, Ventuswill mantled with her great wings and called back to the princess.

“Frey? What has happened?!”

“It’s Bado!” Frey gasped and panted, “There’s something wrong with him! Please help him! Please!” Ventuswill raised her head and looked out the doorway to the field and narrowed her eyes on the barn in the distance.

“Is he injured?” Ventuswill asked, half cautious, half urgent.

“N-no, at least, I don’t think so… I think the wolf is taking over his mind or something. Please come quick, He’s in bad shape!”

“What happened, Frey? I will do everything I can for him, but I won’t know what he needs unless you explain what is going on and what triggered it.

Frey felt her cheeks flush red but she spilled her guts regardless. Now was no time to let embarrassment reduce her candor and risk another moment of pain for her lover.

“I w-went out to the barn and we got a bit heated while we were talking...” She stammered, “H-he got a bit too rough and I told him to stop. It’s like it wasn’t even him though… once I called his name he snapped out of it and panicked. He begged me to leave and lock him in. He said he didn’t want to hurt me. I think he felt like the wolf would make him do something to me…”

“Hmm” The huge dragon’s dark eyes narrowed and her crest feathers rose and folded back down as wheels turned in her mind. Frey stared up at her with tear tracks down her cheeks, baffled and distressed at the divine dragon’s hesitation. Why wasn’t she rushing out there to help him? Venti bent her neck further and drew very close to Frey, huffing in a breath or two through her nose. Having closed the usual distance between them while speaking, her glossy eyes showed her reptilian pupils, just a hair darker than her already almost-black irises. They contracted to slits and then dilated wide again, finally resting somewhere in between before she drew herself back up and rose up onto her feet. The rustling of many plumes accompanied the strange footfalls of the huge dragon exiting the northern side of the castle walking on her hind legs and wings.

Frey sprang up and darted alongside the dragon god as she made her way across the field in a matter of moments. She fell behind a few paces as the huge feathered wyvern came to rest just in front of the barn, but dashed forward and unbolted the door quick as a flash once she caught up. Without pausing to announce her presence, Ventuswill thrust her huge head through the doorway and into the barn.

The little princess stretched up on her toes to try and see past the dragon’s crest into the barn where she had fled, leaving her lover writhing on the floor at his own behest. She couldn’t see anything and leaned with a hand on Ventuswill’s neck as she tried another angle. Feeling the touch, the dragon drew her head back out and nudged her aside, away from the door.

“I need you to stay out of here for the moment, Frey. I can’t help him if he catches your scent again, so stay upwind, okay?” The informal speech of the dragon god plus the odd reasoning stopped Frey in place for a moment while she was taken aback, but then she obediently stepped back a few paces with an anxious look that never left her green eyes. Venti nodded and stuffed her feathered head and her serpentine neck back into the barn.  

From where she stood outside the barn and a few paces from the door, Frey couldn’t hear the conversation all that clearly. She only caught snippets as Venti coaxed and calmed the partly transformed lycanthrope within until he no more growling, anguished sounds came from the small building.

“—Safe and sound. I’ll bring her to you in a little while... and yes I’ll make sure you don’t lay a wayward hand or tooth on her, either.” The dragon’s voice finished. Having withdrawn her head from the barn, she pulled the door shut with a carefully outstretched talon and gestured with her great, wedge shaped head for Frey to lock the door. She did so.

“Well,” Venti began, “He’s a bit of a mess now, but he’ll bounce back, I think. Apparently the urges are getting stronger and he doesn’t feel as much himself since the last cycle.” Frey bounced on her feet with anxious impatience.

“I know _that_ , but what happened in there just now? Even when he was a wolf he was always careful not to hurt me…” Her eyebrows curved in anxious dismay as she spoke. Venti blinked her large dark eyes and then tweaked a brow at the little princess.

“As to _that_ … You’re not making it easy on him, being in heat and all.”

“W-what??” Frey stammered, wide eyed and crimson in the face.

“You think animals are the only ones who hit a phase like that when they are ready to mate? He can smell it on you and the wolf _is_ an animal. Animals obey instincts. The primal is what it knows and that is what it will drive him to.” A mixture of sternness and pity displayed itself on the dragon’s reptilian features. As Frey cringed with embarrassment.

“I d-didn’t—“

“It’s alright. This is unusual territory, being in love with a werewolf.” The dragon said kindly, her expression softening to compassion, “But you need to stop being secretive and let myself and others help you two, or both of you could get hurt. Just because he loves you and doesn’t wish you harm does not mean he isn’t dangerous to you, Frey. Until such a time as when he is cured, you cannot assume anything, so your best bet is to have a lot of support.”

“Y-you knew all along, Venti?” Frey squeaked. The huge dragon rumbled an impatient huffing sound in her barrel chest and rolled her eyes impatiently.

“Oh, please, Frey. You’ve hardly looked at or thought of any living thing other than Bado for the last two months! Only love ever makes people _that_ focused on a specific someone. Honestly I have no idea why you mortals think you’re so subtle, sometimes.” She shook her head. “Hopeless!” She added with a smirk, despite her ostensible frustration. Frey let out her breath.

“So you’re… okay with it? I thought you were warning me against falling in love with him back when you said I shouldn’t—“

“No, no.” The dragon replied, not waiting for her to finish the thought. “You becoming lovers is not what I was concerned about. _This_ kind of thing is…” She tilted her head toward the barn. “I have known Bado many years. Ever since he was discharged from active deployment and originally moved to Selphia to become my dragon knight. Frey’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, you didn’t know that, eh?” The dragon said with amusement. “It’s true. I’ve kept an eye on him ever since he came here just as I watch over all of you. He’s a gentle man but kind of a mess inside. I’d like nothing more than to see him happily settled with someone who can help him let go of the past, but I’m afraid _this_ nonsense with the lycanthropic curse is just exactly the worst thing for someone of his disposition. Losing control and hurting you would probably be the last straw for him. It could break him completely, and that kind of damage he might never recover from, with the state he’s been in these past years since Tristan and Lily passed away.”

“Who are Tristan and Lily?” Frey asked, tilting her head. She was wholly absorbed in the dragon’s speech. Naturally, being obsessed with her boyfriend made her ravenous for informational gems like this.

“Forte and Kiel’s parents.” Venti explained, “Tristan was the knight commander in the Noradian Knighthood when Bado began his military career. He took him under his wing then, and eventually pulled some strings to get him stationed here as a dragon knight when the battlefield got to be too much for him to bear any longer.” The little princess stared at the dragon in rapt attention, waiting for more. Ventuswill sighed softly. “Bado was a talented knight… talented enough to be called ‘legendary’, but he was never meant for a warrior’s life. He was barely a shell of a man when he first came to me… I feared he’d just fade away.” She shook her plumed head sadly.

“Was he any better once he became your knight?” Frey asked in a small, curious voice. The dragon chuckled.

“He was just as talented at it as ever but no… he wasn’t much less miserable. I dismissed him. It was at once the most dishonorable and also the kindest thing I could have done for him at the time. Since then he’s lived here peacefully and made some progress at mending his wounds. Being involved with Tristan’s family and eventually adopting Forte and Kiel when their parents passed away gave him purpose, I think. It helped him carry on long enough for the old scars to fade, and now he’s stable, if a bit eccentric.” The dragon winked at the princess upon this last remark. Frey’s gaze grew distant as she mulled over this new information. Noticing the change, Venti donned a knowing expression tinged with concern and a little sadness, sighed, and spoke solemnly to the little princess.

“Frey… I believe that for Bado, who laid down his sword to fight no more, hurting or killing someone, especially someone he loves, while in thrall to this wolf spirit is among the cruelest possible outcomes. Keeping him from harming others is critical to keeping him from dealing a fatal blow to his own psyche. I know you want to help him more than you want to preserve your own safety… but please understand: self-sacrifice on your part won’t save him, even if doing so somehow cured him of the curse. Protect him by guarding yourself and others from him during this ordeal. That is how you can best serve the one you love _and_ all the other people who care about you both as well.”

Frey looked up into the dragon’s eyes and drew in a long breath, then made a smile appear on her face out of sheer determination, and nodded.

“Okay, Venti. I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you, Frey.” The dragon replied, her eyes softening with affection. “Now, please go take a bath and then you can see him. It’s not that human beings have pheromones, exactly, but his wolf’s senses can detect the hormones that you’ve been afloat in all day. Bathing will make it a little less intense and in a day or two you’ll probably be tame enough again.” She smirked a dragon smirk at the princess and winked again. Frey’s face began to resemble the red of a tomato.

“O-okay.” She stammered. “A-are you going to stay with him until I get back?” The dragon nodded serenely. “Thank you.” Frey replied, and turned to take herself and her embarrassment back to the castle to grab a change of clothes before heading to the bathhouse.


	48. The Place and Time

Damp still clung to her hair as Frey returned to the monster barn at the back of the field after having gone to the bell hotel and bathhouse and back as per Venti’s instructions. The huge dragon was half curled on the patchy grass between the barn and the actual field. Her long, scaly body, acres of plumage, and winding, serpentine tail were carefully arranged with consideration to the field and the crops planted in it.

“I’m back.” Frey called up in a timid voice as she approached. Her hands had fluttered up to her hair and she combed through it nervously with her fingers as she waited, blushing, though Ventuswill bending her huge neck down to sniff her. The dragon looked thoughtful a moment after a few breaths full of her post-bath scent, then straightened up and gave a satisfied nod.

“Much better. Now get in there and give him a hug. He could use it.” She tilted her head toward the barn. With a worried angle in her brows. Frey nodded in reply and unlocked the door, hesitating long enough to swallow and wrangle her courage before stepping inside. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him or what he might do to her under the influence of the rogue wolf spirit within him, but she knew seeing him again in his sad condition would rake at her heart as painfully as ever, and no one sticks their fingers into a fire without anticipating the burn.

Yep. It hurt.

Frey’s breath caught in her throat as her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light and she saw him sitting in the back of the barn, knees drawn up with his elbows propped on them and his head in his big, angular hands. Everything about him looked wilted, weary, and fragile somehow in spite of his huge size and half-transformed body. The black fur of the wolf had already spread in a crest along the back of his neck and disappeared under the collar of his shirt, but she knew that much of what she couldn’t see of him beneath his clothing was already densely furred by now, too. His ears were taller, dark gray and fuzzy, and his feet and hands were turning dark as well. Frey’s throat tightened as she noted the changes she hadn’t seen earlier in her fever. Yes, she had become used to his often odd appearance these days, but guilt gnawed at her now that she was noticing the signs of full moon close at hand for the first time that day. What had she been thinking? What importance did her libido have next to the curse that was strangling the humanity out of her lover by the day?

The sound of the door stirred him and he lifted his face from his palms and looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes, purple shadows clinging beneath them and haunted silvery irises. Tears rose up in her own eyes and she crossed the barn toward him in a daze, reaching out and comforting him the only thing in her mind.

Bado, for his part, barely moved except his head and eyes following her face as she neared him. Slouched and curled upon himself in that beaten posture, she actually found herself looking down at him, a rare circumstance, given his height. His expression teemed with a suspense blended with hopeful disbelief and apprehension. She knelt down just beside him and he silently stared into her eyes as if he were seeing her for the first time in years.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She whispered, doing her best to smile through her tears. “It’s not like there was any way I wasn’t going to come back.”

“But I… what I did…” the ghost of his voice rasped in disbelief, shaking his head slightly.

“I left to get help because you were begging me to leave… not because I was afraid of you.” He blinked at her and swallowed, his eyes glistening as they watered. She tried to pour out understanding as she looked at him steadily and finished: “I’m not angry… and I don’t blame you.” He shut his eyes tightly and struggled to swallow again. When he spoke his voice was choked.

“Idon’tdeserveyou, Frey.” The words came out in a rush of breath and his lips sealed shut again as soon as he said them. As he cringed through relief and guilt and sorrow all at once she huffed a disapproving little sigh and lifted his chin with her pale fingertips in his short, dark beard. She smiled at him as he opened his eyes and looked in bewildered expectation into hers.

“I’ll decide who deserves me, Bado.” She said with a gently chiding tone. He huffed a weak, monosyllabic laugh.

“Yeah, but you can still be wrong.” He said incredulously despite his diminished voice. She shook her head dismissively.

“Nope, I’m infallible in my judgement.” He cracked a smile that touched the corners of his eyes as well as his mouth where it revealed his wolfish teeth and shook his head.

“Pick me a racehorse, then.” He jibed. She gave up the teasing exchange and nuzzled his face, wrapping her arms around him and sighing happily.

“I know you’ll be okay as long as your bad sense of humor is intact.”

He replied by unfolding his arms and legs, wrapping his hands around her and tugging her into a delicate embrace, still tinged with nervousness but eagerly needing her close to reassure him. She readily reciprocated the hug and found herself curled up neatly in his arms and kissing his hair, cheek, ears and jaw with affectionate, energetic motions. Finally, he slowed her ministrations and got her attention with his thick fingers timidly caressing her jawline.

“Frey… I’m so sorry.” He said, soft but earnest in his deep-timbered voice. She laid her hand over his at her cheek and smiled softly.

“I forgive you. Please don’t worry about it anymore.”

“I can’t… I won’t let my guard down until this is over. I won’t risk hurting you, Frey. You’re not safe from me as long as the moon has this hold on me” He replied, not without fear but full of determination, even so. All at once a thought slapped Frey into a wide-eyed expression that bent his features to confusion at the sudden change.

They’d missed something… something so obvious it felt _ridiculous_ that she hasn’t thought of it before. A fiery burst of will and strength kindled in her chest and she drew in a long breath and grinned fiercely. He blinked at her, even more lost than before.

“Let’s finish this, then. Once and for all.” She said, and felt her eyes flash and gleam with her sudden understanding.

“How? We’ve had no sign so far…” he countered.

“We’ve been searching in the right _place_ , Bado… but not at the right _time!”_ She grew more excited as she spoke, giddy energy rising up from her toes all the way to the top of her head.

“Wha?” He countered in perplexity as she grabbed him with her hands at each ear nuzzled her face against his, and sprang up, pacing around the barn with fitful energy.

“The _moon_!” She cried, turning back to him and gesticulating rapidly at him and then through the roof of the barn. “We first ran into the wolf on the night of the full moon, Bado! That’s the timing of the curse! Werewolves only transform completely during the full moon. That’s when the curse is strongest, so we aren’t going to see that bastard _except_ on the night of the full moon! I’ll bet my life on it!” She looked thoughtful a moment, then snapped back into her electric fervor. “Maybe he only comes through the portals from the forest of beginnings during full moons… but whatever the exact reason, _that_ ’s when we’ll find him. And that’s when we’ll take him down!” She smacked one fist into her other palm with feverish intensity.

A flash of the same eager excitement and hope passed over Bado’s expression, but then his features bent to concern again.

“But even if you’re right… how are we going to fight it and kill it with me in full-wolf form?” He drooped with concern as he spoke but she would not be discouraged.

“No problem!” You’re fighting-ready and eager to protect me when you’re a wolf, especially. If I go out into the woods, you’ll follow and you’ll fight by my side, even if you can’t remember yourself. The wolf you is still you… somehow.” She shrugged. A spasm of pain and grief shot through his expression now, and he turned his eyes away, the smile-lines etched in his masculine face turned to worry-lines upon the instant.

“That’s what I’m afraid of…” He cringed, “…What I did… what I wanted to do earlier, regardless of you… If that’s really me, then you’ve got no business trusting me, Frey.”

“What about what you _didn’t_ do, Bado?” She countered, “As soon as I called out to you to stop, you did. I was just as hot and bothered as you were… practically an animal, myself. That’s not the important part, though. What really means something here is that in spite of all of that, you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me.”

He looked up at her, wanting to believe her by the hopeful light in his eyes, but reluctantly holding on to the shame and guilt still with part of his heart. A stroke of inspiration flickered in her mind and she made the tone of her voice careful.

“Bado… Do you remember what happened right after you transformed at all?” He looked down and made a face as he tried to remember, then shook his head.

“I get… flashes… but nothing definite. I don’t know what happened. You said you knocked me out, right?”

“Yes… but, before I managed to do that…” She hesitated, worried hearing what would follow could scare him all the more, “You jumped at me and knocked me down. All of you was wolf, then, if my eyes were to be believed.” He went pale and sick looking as she described the violent memory. She touched her neck. “You pinned me down, and your teeth were on my throat. I thought I was finished. There was no reason for a monster that vicious not to close its jaws and tear me open, but… you stopped.” He stared, transfixed at her as she told the story. “You stopped as suddenly and completely as if you’d been frozen, then you let me go. Something in you wouldn’t let you kill me. When you turned savage again and jumped at me a second time, I hit you with the hammer and knocked you out.”

Bado’s hand went to his own throat and in his eyes she could see that he was imagining the grisly nightmarish end that story could have had.

“Gods, Frey… You should have left me there. Why did you ever bring me back when I… I almost—“

“You’re missing the point!” She cried, pointing at him and letting her frustration sound in her voice. “Why did you jump in front of that beast in the first place?”

“Why do you think, Frey?” he turned incredulous again, “I wasn’t gonna let it kill you, for heaven’s sake!”

“ _Why_ , though?” She bit back, feeling the bright warmth of confidence in her voice. “I’d believe you’d jump in front of a monster to protect most people in Selphia, but that wasn’t all, was it?” He blinked at her, cornered. She smiled, half sly and half triumphant.

“Bado…” She paused meaningfully while his attention remained locked on her in suspense. “Did you love me before? Before all this happened?” His face and especially his ears turned red in a heartbeat.

“I…Well, I uh…” He stumbled in his speech, then smiled a little helplessly at her, sheepish. “I was maybe kinda headed that way, yeah…” She beamed at him.

“See?”

“What?”

“If you were willing to risk your life to protect me from the wolf, you certainly wouldn’t stop just because it got into your blood… and you haven’t. All this time, especially when you’re a beast and your more complicated emotions take a backseat to your more basic desires, you’ve never responded more fiercely or passionately than when you think I’m in danger. I _know_ you… all of you… better than anyone by now. I trust you with my life, Bado…”

“And when I lose my mind and the wolf gains a monopoly on my body and this rusty old brain? You can’t afford to trust someone not in control of himself…”

“It won’t come to that…”

“How do you know?”

“Because we’re going to end it… the night of the next full moon. The wolf won’t get enough time to take you from me. His days are numbered.”

“Frey, this is crazy—“

“ _Help_ me while you’re still you, even when you’re covered in fur. I know you’re not so far gone as that, and I know we can do this!” She insisted, seizing his hands and squeezing them firmly. He swallowed and looked uncertainly in her green eyes for a long moment, wheels turning in his mind. Then, he gave in, smiling weakly and speaking softly, without her determination, but clearly full of gratitude.

“Alright, keeper… as you wish. Just lead the way and I’ll be with you, come what may.” She nodded and then threw her arms around his neck and shoulders, squeezing him tightly as he returned the gesture with his big arms around her waist. “You’re right, by the way…” He murmured into her ear as he held her to him, “I’ll die before I let that beast lay one claw or tooth on you… as long as I’m me… as long as I live… I’ll protect you.”

“And I’ll do the same for you, love. I won’t let anything take you from me.” She answered in kind with warmth like burning coals in her voice.


	49. Not Enough

If ever there was a week that perfectly exemplified suspense and uncomfortable anticipation, the days leading up to the last full moon of winter were it. Waiting was all Frey and her werewolf companion could do, so wait they did. But doing nothing while she watched him shift more and more each day pained Frey in ways she didn’t know were possible. Every muscle in her body screamed for her to run off into the woods to find the key to saving him from the curse and killing it.

The idea of killing a monster, rather than merely sending it back to the forest of beginnings with the retournen magic that lined the blades of her weapons disgusted her and put a lump in her throat, but there was no alternative. This monster slipped in and out of the forest of beginnings already, and sending him back there would only doom Bado to another month of waiting and wasting away until the next full moon. The wolf’s life had to end. For Bado’s sake… and for the sake of anyone else that it may have turned or killed in its lifetime.

This grim duty was always on her mind as she noted her lover’s every change throughout the days. By the time there were three nights remaining, he had sprouted the black fur and bottle-brush tail, erect, triangular ears, and long snout tipped with a black nose. His eyes were almost completely silver and colorless, save for a glint of blue that flashed through them when the sunlight hit them just right.

All the while, Bado struggled to stay himself for as long as possible. He said little, and sometimes slipped away entirely, leaving a panting, sniffing creature in his place, clearly nothing but a canid with some unusual features, like the still hand-like quality of his forepaws. Then he would twitch or shake or cringe for a few moments and look up at her with such obvious sentience that she knew he had fought his way back from whatever oblivion the wolf spirit banished him to when it took control. He tired easily now, except when he was only a wolf. The beast was full of energy and amiably disposed to her, like always. But his animal self’s docility and eagerness to please her would soon shift to possessiveness and guarding. This she knew from experience.

Fearful of a repeat incident of the situation when wolf-Bado attacked Vishnal, Frey wracked her brain to think of a way to keep herself and Bado sequestered to protect everyone else, without situating herself alone with him for too long, which he did not want her to do. It was terribly clear that Bado had not absolved himself of guilt for the incident in the barn a few days prior. Much to her disappointment and anxiety, he showed reluctance to touch or stand close to her, the more wolf like he became while still retaining his mind. He didn’t trust himself and he didn’t want her to trust him either. She understood, on a rational level, but there is very little about a heart in love that can be described as rational. So, they suffered through those days, enlisting the help of Ventuswill and explaining their plan when it seemed Bado would soon lose consciousness until the full moon had passed.

“Hmm.” Venti rumbled concernedly. I have no solution but to treat the castle farmlands as a quarantine zone. We can bar the citizens from entering it for the next few days and Bado cannot leave there until the full moon, when he must go with you on your mission. I will remain here and protect the townspeople in case that monster should come to Selphia. Forte should go with you too, though. Have you spoken to her about your plan?

Frey blinked, suddenly embarrassed and blushing slightly.

“N-no… I guess I kind of forgot.” She had been so preoccupied looking after and fretting over Bado as he shifted slowly into full-wolf that she hadn’t even considered talking to Forte about their plan. But then again, perhaps that was because she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Forte for the last week or so. She looked up at the dragon with new determination. “I’ll go find her today and ask her about it.” Maybe this was enough to make amends for the fact she hadn’t given her friend a thought recently, maybe it wasn’t, but it was the right thing to do, in either case.

The great dragon nodded her plumed head solemnly and promised to enforce the restriction on the farmland space until after the full moon. Frey thanked her politely and turned to leave.

“Frey…” Venti called suddenly just as she was leading wolf Bado back out through the back door to the barn. She turned and looked up. “If this doesn’t work… if you cannot cure him during this cycle… we will have to consider other measures.”

Her tone was careful… one might even say gentle… but even so, Frey did not like the sound of ‘considering other measures’. Something about it implied ominous outcomes for her lover-turned-wolf.

“It won’t come to that.” She said boldly, a fire of determination burning in her chest. Ventuswill inclined her head in a gesture that spoke acknowledgement without agreement. It would have to be enough, for now. Frey turned and led Bado across the field toward his barn. He padded along beside her without a care, currently lapsed into the happy, oblivious wolf-self that hadn’t yet remembered to guard her jealously from others.

She glanced sideways at him and sighed.

Sometimes things seemed just too big to be real, especially troubles. What kind of world was this, where misfortune of this caliber could befall herself and her unusual choice of lover? It didn’t seem fair. It didn’t seem real. After all, how could a thing like a wolf curse that was tied to the moon be real? And how could one woman and the very person afflicted with the curse possibly be tasked with reversing it by themselves, with both their future happiness and even their lives at risk? But then again, no matter how big misfortunes seem, she thought with a sigh, it was her life to live and the outcome was in her hands, so it could not be too big for her to attempt, or else she was already choosing a tragic end to the story.

Realizing she had already entered the barn while lost in these thoughts, Frey sat down against the back wall and wolf-Bado contentedly curled up next to her, nuzzling his head happily into her lap and sighing with simple satisfaction while she petted his ears and scratched the ruff of dense black fur at his jawline that somehow resembled the short beard he wore as a man.

Her brow furrowed. Now that she knew what it really meant when he slipped into this wolf-minded self, she became conscious that she was missing him, even though the huge furry beast was right next to her. It wasn’t the ‘real’ him… not all of him, anyway. The wolf spirit that had attached itself to him wasn’t the only thing showing through his silver eyes, even on the night of the full moon, otherwise she’d be dead by now, but still… It wasn’t the same as being with the real him.

“Bado…” She murmured. The wolf did not respond immediately, but looked up at her when her hands stilled. It wasn’t recognition of the name, but rather an interest in her change of mood that moved him. Her eyes stung. “Please come back…”

The silver eyes of the beast blinked at her and it tilted its head and whined a little anxiously. Then, as she drooped with disappointment, a sudden change occurred in him. His pupils abruptly contracted and he flinched and shook his head as if bees were stinging him. A high-pitched whining yelp flew out of his jaws like a wounded creature. He went rigid and shuddered and then collapsed, all at once onto the floor with a thump and a sudden exhalation. She scrambled over to him and stroked his head, calling to him in a worried voice and trying to tug open one of his eyes with a thumb on his brow.

“Bado? Can you hear me?”

The eyes blinked slowly open and looked over at her, but he did not move. It looked as though it was already a great effort just to keep them open. She was losing him fast. Less than three days left and night was falling. It was actually surprising he had lasted this long, given how often the wolf-spirit seemed to interfere with his thoughts.

“Frey…” He just barely managed to whisper her name with a weakened outbreath. She swallowed and caressed his ears.

“I’m here.” She said bravely, squeaking out the words through a clenched throat. Fear crept up her backbone and wrapped icy fingers around her heart.

What if they _didn’t_ succeed. What if he was too weakened to come back again after the full moon. If he lost his mind, and all she had left of him was an oddly friendly wolf and her memories… what then? She couldn’t leave him, that she knew… but to keep him safe and as happy and comfortable as possible, she’d have to leave Selphia and take him with her. Setting aside for a moment the worries of where she might go and how they would survive alone, what would it be like forever looking after the creature that constantly reminded her of whom she’d lost: a love that had barely bloomed before it was petrified and turned to stone, one moment a vibrant, living fire of passion and mutual obsession, and the next a ghost of a thing, existing only in the past. She trembled and her eyes watered as she thought of it.

In this moment, though… he was with her. She could see him, weak and weary and barely conscious, but he was there, and he knew her. All at once a significance occurred to her about this point in time. On the odd chance that this was the last time she looked into his eyes, rather than those of a wolf who was once a man, there was only one thing to say… that must be said.

“I love you.” She breathed, tears spilling over her eyelids and down her cheeks.

“L-love…you…too…” He barely managed to say, struggling for every sound in the words, but showing all his earnest feelings in those uncanny silver eyes.

Then he was gone again, replaced by the wild, animal eyes as the wolf version of him lifted its head and looked at her curiously. He stood up and sniffed her face, while she made no effort to stem the flow of tears. A long pink wolf-tongue swiped along her cheek and his tail wagged as he gave another little whine and curled about her, showing the simple care and support that animals can.   
  
It wasn’t enough.


	50. A Knight Despairs

Frey stood stone still in front of Forte’s open door, staring in shocked silence into the blue eyes of her friend. Once they were vibrant pools of blue fire, ablaze with headstrong passion and bull-headed determination. Now… they were all but hollow.

“I-I…” Frey stammered, badly shaken at the sight. “Forte?” Her voice squeaked with anxiety at the end of the sound of her name.

“Frey…” Forte answered, a stirring of recognition and an apologetic wince passing through her eyes. “What do you need?”

“I just came to…” Frey trailed off, wholly unable to wrangle her features out of her horribly worried expression. “Forte, are you alright? What’s wrong?” Forte stared back at her with a struggle written in her eyes. She opened her mouth, closed it again, blinked, and turned around, stepping back into the house.  Frey stepped across the threshold with anxious hands outstretched, but did not yet dare to touch or embrace her friend.

“I…” She began, but stopped almost immediately, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m a fool, Frey…” She blurted out, “All of this has been my fault! If I hadn’t asked you to talk him into changing his ways, none of this would’ve happened! And now… I…” She trembled visibly, and though her back was to Frey “I… might be too late… I might n-not be able to h-help him…”

Forte’s sorrow and fear echoed in the chambers of Frey’s heart, sending waves of pain and despair through her. Almost reflexively, she called out reassurance, but could not be certain her reaction wasn’t mostly to stop Forte from voicing what she herself still felt and feared.

“No, Forte. It won’t be that way. We’re going to help him. We have to!” She put an anxious hand on her friend’s shoulder and shook her slightly, as if she could jostle out the dark, guilt-ridden thoughts. Forte flinched at her touch, and spun around, eyes wide and unsettled.

“I know you will, Frey… I… I tried… I can’t help him…” She shut her eyes tightly as tears spilled out and clenched her teeth and fists, shaking and holding her breath as waves of emotion broke over her. Frey wondered briefly what had caused this sudden break in the lady knight’s normally stern, stoic air, but then a sudden realization took shape in her mind.

“I guess you must have talked to Venti, too, huh?” She said quietly. “He… might not have much more time before something… permanent… happens…” Her voice got quieter and tinier as she spoke and her own small hands formed fists at her sides, she looked at the floor as tears formed in her own stinging eyes. She felt Forte stare at her as she spoke, but didn’t look up yet. “But I’m not giving up! I’m going to give this all I’ve got, because—“ She trembled, but looked up into her friend’s eyes, no longer concerned for what she might think of her feelings. What she felt for him was true, and real… no one had a right to deny it to her, and she would not hide it, either. “—because I love him, Forte! I won’t ever give up while there’s hope of restoring him… and I’ll stay by him no matter what… no matter what happens, and no matter what he becomes... I’m not giving up on him and neither should you!”

Somewhere behind the ferocity of her conviction, Frey dimly realized that there were tear tracks down her face. Forte stared at her with wide eyes and stricken features, swallowed, and turned away.

“I… _tried_ , Frey… I have been trying every day since the first… I can’t do any more, now…”

Wild, hot indignation bubbled up in Frey’s heart as she heard the defeat in her friend’s voice. Anger flared and her voice lashed out without premeditation. Only the passion of her furious denial of her lover’s probable fate guided the sharp, unforgiving tone and words that sprang from her throat now.

“FINE! I came here to ask for your help, but if this is all you have left—“ her mouth worked furiously, “—if you’re going to just wilt like this then I don’t need your help!” She spat, and spun on her heels, storming out the door and slamming it without looking at Forte’s expression. There was no explanation that would satisfy her and the last thing she needed was anyone to point out how tall the odds were stacked against Bado in this situation. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to think about it. The only thing she was holding onto now was hope. There wasn’t any room for doubt, if she was going to save him, that is.

She would. She had to. She’d kill that beast in the woods or die trying… for him.

Wiping her face with a sleeve, Frey marshalled her strength and tried to forget Forte’s distraught face. How could she have surrendered him to a cruel fate? She’d known him all her life. He’d been her _guardian_ , for crying out loud! How could she give up? He wasn’t gone yet… he _wasn’t_ …

She shook herself again and strode with long strides back to the castle and the field and the barn… and the wolf in the barn. Tears threatened again and she pressed them down through sheer force of will.

Tomorrow was the full moon. Only one more day of pain and waiting and then she’d find that monster and kill it. She _had_ to.

“Frey?” A delicate voice called out, snapping her out of her furious determination and calling her attention. She’d made it all the way back to the West entrance to the castle courtyard when her eyes snapped upward into a short gaze with a pair of familiar, violet eyes.

“Vishnal—“ She breathed. “You startled me…” She hurried to wipe her eyes again, turning partially away from him. If anyone looked at her with sympathy, now, she wouldn’t be able to stop the flood of tears behind her flimsy mental dams. She refused to make eye contact again, even when he continued to speak to her.

“Sorry… I was waiting up to talk to you on your way back.” He winced. She blinked, and looked around. Only now did the dim dusky light register in her eyes. It was almost nightfall. Her heart clenched. Another long, torturous night of waiting through fitful sleep and nightmares… Another night of hearing the big black wolf in the barn whimper in his sleep as she curled up against his densely furred sides, not daring to leave him alone.

“Frey?” Vishnal called again. She blinked and glanced sideways at him.

“What do you need, Vishnal?” She asked in forced nicety, sure he could hear the fatigue in her voice.

“I… just wanted to tell you… I believe in you.” He said, finally, his frail voice growing stronger as he spoke. She looked back to his face, finally, blinking in mild surprise. “I know you’re at the end of your rope. I know you’re scared. But you’re strong, Frey… and it’s obvious how much you love him. I understand wanting to help someone and feeling like there’s little you can do… I’ve wanted to help you all this time, too.” He touched a gloved hand to his collar and looked at her with earnest kindness in his face. Something else was there, too, though. Something that had taken root the day she’d dashed his hopes. Frey’s insides gave an uncomfortable pang of guilt and shame at the memory. The young butler continued with a meek, helpless smile and a shrug.

“I guess I should be angry… or jealous or something. But I just want to see you smile again, princess. So… I want Bado to get better, too. I know that’s all that will put you right… cause seeing you happy is all that will put me right.” Frey sighed and drooped as she looked at him, shamed a little more by his compassion for her and her werewolf lover despite all he’d suffered because of the two of them. “I want you to know I believe in you. I know you’ll succeed, tomorrow night! And… I’ll have dinner waiting for both of you when you return. I’ll make his favorite—a-and I’ll get Clorica to help me, too.” He added hastily. It was no secret his cooking could put a grown man or woman on bedrest, but bless this clumsy, foolhardy young man, he was _trying_. He was trying so hard to give her and her lover whatever he could to support them. She shook her head and smiled at him in rueful gratitude.

“I told you I never deserved you, Vish.” She said quietly. “Thank you.” He smiled and nodded silently to her as she passed through the gate and headed for the monster barn with the chain and lock upon the door at one end of the east field.

Her hands found and unlocked the door on pure muscle memory and she stepped inside to the immediate snuffling, nuzzling interest of a huge black furry canid. He sniffed her up and down and licked her face as she absentmindedly petted his head and ears. Then she stilled his affectionate attentions and looked into his silver eyes, hoping vainly to see a glimmer of a man’s intelligence and conscience in there, somewhere. The strange silver eyes of the tame wolf monster yielded no sign of the person she was looking for. She knew this creature was a version of him, and she could still feel the familiar hint of him in the wolf’s emotions… but she couldn’t deny it wasn’t enough anymore. She wanted more than the primal, animal parts of him and his mind. She wanted the whole him.

Yes… there was a whole, flawed, foolish person who used to be part of this town, and he was missing. All his half-baked schemes and machinations had amused the townsfolk and given them something to talk about. He’d been a curiosity of Selphia for years now, but Bado was more than that… especially now… especially to her. Selphia wouldn’t be the same if its lazy blacksmith wasn’t restored… and neither would she.

She stroked the wolf’s ears and looked into his eyes with sorrow, determination, compassion, and an all-consuming love pouring out of her.

“I _will_ save you.” She said, hoping her voice would reach the real him, somewhere behind the silver eyes.


	51. What They Hadn't Seen

Frey stepped out into the dusky falling light of evening the following day, anticipating the rising of the full moon with a weight in her gut like a cold stone. In stories, heroes and heroines were courageous and confident and triumphant even before they rode into battle. Here now, she was no less determined than those fairytale characters were, but unlike them, she was terrified. The huge black wolf that had once been Bado stepped out of the barn and stood beside her, reaching up with his long snout to sniff at the frigid night air of midwinter.

There wasn’t a single sign of another person out here on the castle grounds. Ventuswill had mandated a curfew for the citizens of Selphia this night. All except their acting princess, Frey, and a certain large black wolf monster in her keeping.

“C’mon Bado.” She called quietly, holding out a hand in a beckoning gesture as she stepped forward. He fell in line beside her, brushing himself up under her slightly outstretched fingers so they settled in the midnight-black fur of his neck and shoulders. Thanks to Ventuswill, no one else was going to be at risk tonight. Not from Bado, and not from anyone else.

The irony that Frey could feel all the more safe in the presence of the town’s only werewolf with no others around to help if something went wrong was not lost on her. Having everyone else out of the way was a great relief, and she only felt a little guilty, knowing Bado would have balked at her departing with him alone for fear that he might do her harm. She knew better, regardless of his fears.

They padded along wordlessly in the dark of the night. The moon hadn’t yet risen, so the dim lights of the street lanterns and from the windows of houses were all that illuminated the paved stone roads beneath their feet. She wanted to make it out to Selphia plain and hopefully Yokmir forest too by the time the actual full moon showed itself, feeling that perhaps their odds would be better that way. Her light armor clinked and rustled against the scabbards hanging on her belt as she walked briskly southward.

It was probably an exercise in suicidal-extreme recklessness to be going after the alpha werewolf with no one at her back but another wolf that had been turned by the first. But given the apparently broken spirit of the lady dragon knight and the terrible risk to anyone who went along on this stunt, there wasn’t really any alternative she could exercise. She would not ask anyone else to bear this burden or this risk… but it was scarier to go it virtually alone.

As if sensing her nerves, Bado the huge black wolf leaned against her as they walked, lending what comfort and reassurance he could by his huge furry presence beside her. One by one all the residences, shops, and other structures that made up the town of Selphia loomed large before them and shrank behind as the odd pair left their town behind and trekked straight out of town and into the wilderness, seeking the place where he had first been bitten and changed.

Wolf Bado appeared to sense the tension in her and he was vigilant and alert as they walked, raising his head and ears to every sound and scanning around him with his silver eyes. But beyond that, He did not show any sign of remembering their task or understanding the significance of this night. He was merely her faithful, animal sidekick, as far as his canid mind knew.

They hurried along through the silent dusk side by side. Frey picked up the pace and soon the wolf at her side was trotting, then loping beside her as she strode, then jogged, then ran. It felt good to run, hearing her own breath rush in and out and letting some of the terrible anxiety she felt out by expending it with her feet flying over the forest floor. The path was already so familiar, by now. She’d walked it with Bado in various states between man and wolf many times over the last fortnight looking for the loose wolf. They turned left by the large mossy stone, then the path curved Southeast. Several more minutes passed as they made their way through the forest, only the nighttime insects and their own footfalls and breathing audible. The last bits of sunlight had faded and all was blackness around them. Frey strained her ears against the quiet, forgetting her eyes until they grew more accustomed to the dark.

Then she heard something.

Branches rustled somewhere nearby. The ever-spring forest of Yokmir was in full foliage, despite the snow and ice that lined the streets and buildings back in town. She would not have seen the source of the noise even if it had been daylight, so dense were the leaves around the pair of them. She crouched down and held her breath, listening. Wolf Bado froze, pointing with his snout and his crisp, silver eyes in the direction of the sound. A low growl, so quiet as to be nearly inaudible rumbled in his throat behind closed jaws.

The sound came again, small branches snapping and the stirring of the forest floor under feet that didn’t belong to her or her canine companion. Adrenaline coursed through her, flooding her senses and extending their reach. Her arms and legs felt light. Her heart thumped feverishly in her chest. Tension lined every muscle. She gripped the handle of one of the dual swords on her belt with her right hand and crept silently forward, careful not to disturb the substrate or the branches near her.

The rustling, quiet footsteps continued not 3 meters ahead, just on the other side of a cluster of trees and bushes. She followed the little dirt trail toward a clearing just ahead. She knew the empty space between the trees beside this trail let to the same place, and it sounded like the creature was walking on that familiar trek.

One breath in.

She inched forward. Bado crept silently just beside her, his ears rigidly upright and trained on the sound, eyes blazing with silver predatory interest in the near-impenetrable darkness.

One breath out.

Her brain held the tension in her diaphragm to keep the air that left her lungs absolutely soundless as it slipped out from between her lips. The darkness drew back from the edges of all the leaves as a silver lining of moonlight began to play on the dark shapes of the forest. Just at the canopy the aura of the full moon began to glow as it rose, about to crest above them and shine it’s pale, beautiful, and eerie face into the clearing.

The steps they had been shadowing grew loud, heavy, and uneven. The thumping, staggering footfalls were suddenly accompanied by the clink of metal. Frey paused, and held her breath again, absolutely still as her brow furrowed at the new sound. A voice, strangled behind clenched teeth and bitterly pained sounded dimly and the footfalls cascaded into a larger cacophony of upset forest underbrush. A silhouetted figure stumbled and fell, rolling and curling into a heap of denser shadows amongst the leaves, twigs, and dirt of the clearing.

Bado growled quietly again, razor focused on the huddled figure upon the ground. It stirred, and put out an arm, bracing on the ground to lift itself upright.

It was a person.

Another anguished, ragged, wordless sound punctured the night. The figure, which Frey could now see was cloaked in a dark cape and cowl, arched backward and the voice broke through her lips, suddenly clear and feminine as it rent the silence.

It was a woman.

The silver-bright disc of the moon began to slide up over the canopy. As the moonlight fell upon her, the figure, still on her knees, tensed again, arching backward with agony apparent in every involuntarily tight muscle in her body. The cowl fell away as she tilted her head back with a soundless, openmouthed scream. Long, golden-blond tresses of straight hair shone in defiance of the moon’s silver light and blue eyes wide with pain and fear shone just as vivid. Recognition struck Frey like a thunderbolt, seizing her heart painfully and making her gasp involuntarily.

It was Forte.

Frey’s best friend and her lover’s foster daughter in one turned at the sound and stared, wild-eyed into her eyes, cobalt blue gripped emerald green for one long, horrifying moment. Then, just as the full moon cleared the treetops and loomed over them in the middle of the blackened night sky, Silver bloomed in Forte’s eyes, turning the blue in a matter of two rapid beats of Frey’s heart, and crowding out the humanity.

Forte cringed and screamed, her face a snarling mask of pain. As her mouth opened around the agonized shout, her canines grew long and pointed. Her body shifted and swelled, making horrible jerking motions as she doubled over and panted raggedly. The nightmare repeated itself. Just as Bado had before, Forte writhed and wailed and gnashed as she changed, her ears growing sharp and furred, her hands reshaping themselves into paws gradually, and her jaws expanding and extending to accommodate a mouthful of jagged, knife-sharp wolf’s teeth.

As she sprouted fur and tail, the clothing and armor she wore as usual except on her bandaged arm began to strain around her growing limbs. She flailed and snarled and tore at her clothing, just barely managing to open the buckles of the armor and rip it off as the transformation finished in a sudden rush. She stumbled and crouched on the ground, a huge, golden she-wolf surrounded by the wreckage of her armor and clothes and shivering slightly as she panted, still in shock. Her trusty claymore lay amidst the discarded gear, still in its scabbard and attached to her belt.

The transformation was over in the space of three breaths but it felt as though it had been a ghastly spectacle spanning hours as Frey watched in shock and disbelief.

“N-no” She cried in a shaky voice, forgetting the danger in her grief. “FORTE!” She shouted, though she knew her friend was gone.

The she wolf that had been Forte snapped it’s pointed snout sideways and locked it’s silver eyes on her. The pupils of those silver eyes constricted to pinpoints of wrath and there was nothing but savage inhumanity and bestial rage in the creature as it snarled and spat it’s growling challenge through gleaming, pointed teeth. Then it lunged in a blur of gold and silver, right toward her.


	52. Her Last Stand

Frey took one involuntary step back as the golden she-wolf charged her, momentarily forgetting her mission in the terror and disbelief at what she had seen. Abruptly Forte’s sudden change of heart upon her latest injury sustained during the hunt made sense. Suddenly her recent despair made sense. Suddenly, Frey was lost and scared again… faced with a kind of challenge she was not expecting this night to throw at her.

Wolf Bado had not forgotten his purpose. He roared his own snarling challenge and mirrored the charge, intercepting the other werewolf several paces away before she could finish closing in on Frey. The pair collided in a spitting, gnashing confusion of gold and black furred limbs, tumbling and tangling and flailing for a brief moment and then mantling with vicious aggression in their faces as they righted themselves and faced off again.

“No! Don’t hurt her!” Frey murmured in a faltering voice. The shock and pain hadn’t released her. It seemed like a nightmare, not of real waking life. She couldn’t move, couldn’t shout, couldn’t do anything but watch in horror as her changed loved ones fought as beasts.

Forte the she-wolf was smaller than wolf-Bado by a fair margin, but she did not lack his ferocity at all. The golden wolf pressed him back, jaws stretched wide as a jagged-edged growl ripped through the night. She advanced on the huge snarling black wolf that had been her foster father with a mindlessly determined fury. At first, Frey supposed his courage and fierceness could not withstand hers as he stepped backward over several paces and ducked low, but as she lunged again, Frey saw his intentions.

Wolf Bado sprang, jaws open and crashed into she-wolf Forte from beneath. Having more weight behind him and striking under her center of gravity, he overturned her easily and pounced as she flailed and tumbled, body jerking with the impact as she struck the forest floor.

Wolf Bado was on top of the golden she-wolf in a heartbeat, seizing a huge mouthful of her thickly furred neck and shaking it savagely as she kicked and thrashed beneath him. The din of the two canid monsters snarling and spitting and gnashing at one another rent the night and snapped Frey out of her daze. 

She had to stop them. It would do no good to cure Bado of his lycanthropic curse only to have him find out as he returned to himself that he had murdered his adopted daughter. Frey knew in her heart he would rather have died, himself, but his wolf-self was in full rage. His own and her survival trumped whatever sliver of recognition might have colored his silver eyes as he looked at the other werewolf. He would kill her in this fight, or she would kill him. Frey could not let either come to pass, no matter what. She charged, pelting toward the pair of monsters and whispered the words of a spell as the pounding of her feet against the earth shook breath from her lungs.

With his black fur standing on end and frosted with moonlight, wolf Bado cut a fearsome figure as he pinned down the struggling form of the other huge canid beneath him, but Frey’s courage was fiercer. She struck her palms together in front of her, a pale, yellow-green glow beginning to shine on them even before the shockwave bellowed like a thunderclap and the leading edge of the wind spell shot out before her toward the two canine combatants. Wolf Bado was struck harder by the gale of the sonic wind, since he had been higher off the ground while he was on top of the she-wolf. He was lifted off his feet and flung backward, rolling and tumbling in the dust and moss and grass and kicking up flying bits of leaf, twig, pebble, and dirt as he glanced against the ground with his body several times before coming to a dazed rest, panting on his side with limbs all sprawled about him.

Forte the she-wolf had hunkered down and was only rolled a few feet from where she had been a moment before. After the gale passed over her head she jumped up, only a little unsteady on her feet. She immediately turned her pointed shout to where wolf Bado lay on the ground in a daze and then sprinted toward him with her eyes blazing and her teeth bared.

‘Oh no you don’t!’ Frey thought the challenge in her mind, but her voice was busy speaking the words of a teleportation spell aloud. She focused on wolf Bado as the beacon for the spells target location and called out in a bright, fierce voice as she wrapped the spell around herself and was instantly transported standing before him in an unmovable stance, bracing herself. Then, Raising both hands in front of her and then spreading them outward in a flash of movement, she conjured the light wall spell with a sudden surge of rune energy from her body.

The she wolf faltered with a furious and terrified hissng growl and skidded to a clumsy, toppling halt before she collided spectacularly with the adamant wall of light magic. She sprang up immediately after and hopped backward, still bristling with rage but confusion and bewilderment had joined her canine expression once the light wall had appeared.

Frey let out her breath and turned her head, never letting the wall falter or flicker. Wolf Bado had raised his head and half-righted himself, looking up at her standing upright with arms spread protectively before him.

“You okay?” She called concernedly back to him. His eyes brightened as he looked into hers and he hauled himself to his four paws with a mustering of his bestial strength. “Good.” She breathed, mostly to herself. He fell in beside her, rigid fury in his stance and snarled at the she wolf.

She-wolf Forte spat and snarled and growled like a demon as she circled them. Frey rotated on the spot to keep the light shield between them and the golden werewolf. Ventuswill and Kiel’s words floated up from her memory and she swallowed. Humans that were turned had more severe bloodlust and would commit more violence on others than a turned dwarf. If the she-wolf really was the fiercer of the two, Bado’s life was in severe danger despite his advantage of size and weight.

She had to do something. She had to protect him, but she couldn’t favor his safety to the point of risking Forte’s life either. His would be a ruined life if she died at his fangs, even if he were cured of the curse. What was she going to do, though? The moon had only just risen and the light spell was not a thing that was meant to be used for hours. She could not hold up this stalemate until sunrise even if she wanted to, and even if she thought she could keep wolf Bado from darting around the wall and charging the other beast.

They couldn’t run, either. She was fast for a human being but she couldn’t outrun the four legged predatory fury of a werewolf, and it was hard to say whether wolf Bado could run faster than the she-wolf. Yes, he had longer limbs but he was also heavier than the lithe, wiry golden wolf. Surely she would catch him even if she didn’t choose to pounce on her first. But… they couldn’t risk staying and fighting her and she had to try _something_.

She couldn’t be sure that fully wolf Bado could understand her well enough to discuss a plan of escape, but he certainly did have more sense than an ordinary beast. She could think of only one way out of this. Only one option might preserve all three of their hides. Most of all she had to prevent herself from being turned. If all three of them became wolves there was no telling what could happen or whether any of them would survive. Even if they did, there would be no one left to challenge the bastard that had originally bitten Bado under the full moon.

“Get ready.” She told wolf Bado, never knowing how much he could think or understand her in his fully transformed state.

‘Okay…’ She thought, breathing hard as she mustered her courage. ‘three…’ Forte the she-wolf paced around them, snarling and growling. ‘two…’ Frey’s eyes found the perimeter of the small clear space of forest they had ended up in.

“One!” She shouted, shoving hard at the light wall. It rolled forward in glowing ethereal force and bowled over the golden she-wolf, toppling her end over end. Frey spun around, pelted for two steps toward her huge black wolf companion, and leapt onto his back, seizing fistfuls of his thick black fur about his shoulders.

“RUN!” She barked. Wolf Bado shifted on his feet as her weight landed on him but then he sprang forward at her call, panting as he directed all the power of his huge muscular bulk toward bolting forth and carrying her from the clearing. He darted into the largest of the foot trails at the edge of the clearing.

Somewhere behind them Frey heard a snarl of rage as the she-wolf started after them, still several seconds behind. The light spell had stunned her long enough to give them a head start, but it wasn’t hard to imagine the golden beast catching up to them. Wolf Bado would have to be very fast indeed to outrun her with a rider on his back.

Foliage and branches whipped by, whipping at her limbs as the full sprint gallop of the wolf rocked her back and forth. A branch caught her face and she gave a startled shout as it scratched her cheek. All was confusion and fear and desperate hope for the slim chance of success. Seven seconds full of chaos and leaves and forest rushing by on the narrow trail passed and Frey’s own panting gasps filled her ears to the exclusion of all other sound but the pounding of the great beast’s feet beneath her.

Suddenly another snarl erupted behind them. Frey twisted in place, looking over her shoulder with wide, terrified eyes. The she-wolf was closing on them, face a mask of savage rage as she pelted after them, unburdened as he was and gaining fast.

“Faster!” Frey called frantically to wolf Bado and felt him redouble his efforts, slowing the rapid shrinking of the space between his tail and wolf Forte’s snapping jaws.

Just ahead she saw moonlight shining through the dense canopy. Within another second they sprang into an open space, a clearing under the bright cold full moon’s light. Forte’s strides sped up briefly and Frey heard her leap with a snarl behind them. With no time to look behind or call out to Bado, she seized great fistfuls of the fur of his neck, just behind his head and threw herself sideways.

The world spun. She heard the startled shrill canine yelp as wolf Bado’s balance was thrown suddenly to the left and she felt the breath being driven from her lungs by the impact of the ground. They rolled in a confusion of limbs and ground and sky and pain until she came to rest, rigid with shock and trying to force her lungs to pull in a breath of air.

Dimly she heard and saw Bado scramble to his feet again and pounce on her, standing over her little body and roaring his challenge at the other wolf, who had turned by now to menace them once more. The huge black wolf bristled and snarled, looming protectively over her where she was sprawled haphazardly on the ground. Pain like fire lanced through her. She clutched at her sides. When full of adrenaline, it can be difficult to tell if your ribs are cracked or broken, she thought ruefully, but they definitely weren’t whole…

“Bado—“ She called in a clipped voice, gasping as she clutched at her ribs in between little bursts of speech. “We gotta go..” She panted, desperate to escape this very nearly worst-case scenario. She wrapped both hands tightly around one of his forelimbs and mustered her rune energy for the return spell to gate them out. All she could do was keep the two werewolves safely apart from one another and figure the rest out later.

‘I’m sorry Forte.’ She thought wretchedly, unable to help feeling like a traitor to her friend for leaving her out here in the woods, but what else could she do? Her eyes shut tightly as she prepared to gasp out the word that marked the actual casting of the spell.

“Awoooooooooooo!” Frey’s eyes snapped open again as an earsplitting howl broke through her concentration and startled both wolf Bado and she-wolf Forte out of their snarling standoff. She twisted around and propped herself up on her elbows to look to the other end of the clearing.

There, on a small rise in the terrain with its uneven, once-broken jaws raised in salute to the moon, was the alpha werewolf. The silver beast that had first bitten her beloved dwarf and cursed him to a slow spiral into madness and violence, and later turned her best friend as well, stood not fifty yards away. Finishing it’s howl, the creature levelled it’s burning silver eyes at her from across the clearing and bared its jagged fangs.

“You—“ Frey gasped, her eyes stretching wide open as she saw the silver wolf. A second wind tore through her like a hurricane and she forgot the pain of her injuries as another hefty dose of adrenaline surged into her blood. She rose to her feet. Here was the answer; the only sure way out of this without casualties. If she could kill that silver devil and free her loved ones before they hurt each other, the nightmare would be ended. They could go home. She could wrap her arms around her lover and go to sleep with him lying beside her, knowing he’d still be a man, only himself when he woke, regardless of what shape the moon took.

Will and fire took her and Frey, the image of a warrior princess, lunged forward, unsheathing her dual dual blades and screaming a savage challenge as she pelted full throttle toward the alpha werewolf. 


	53. Slain

Only one thing occupied her mind as Frey charged the alpha werewolf with her swords drawn and incantations of Earthmate magic on her lips.

For them. She’d annihilate this scourge before it could harm anyone else. And, she’d take back the lives of her lover and friend from the curse it had afflicted them with.

Behind her, Bado spun around with an anxious bark after her and she heard the she-wolf pounce on him. Both Bado and Forte hit the ground and rolled, snarling and growling and biting and kicking at each other as they tussled in the dirt and debris of the forest floor. There was no time to turn back. She had to trust that he could defend himself and hope that he did not do any lasting harm to Forte as they fought. The most expedient way to protect them lay just before her, snarling with its crooked jaw hanging partly ajar on the side that Bado had broken the evening this nightmare began.

“Ventus!” She hissed, calling up wind magic and slashing with one of her dual blades simultaneously. The kinetic force of the swing channeled perfectly into the spell, giving the sonic edge of the attack both brute power and a razor’s edge.

The alpha crouched as she swung, looking as though he meant to brace himself and take the attack directly.

‘Your mistake.’ She thought viciously. ‘Now hurry and go down, you devil!’

The vivid green sickle of the sonic wind spell rushed toward the wolf monster, stirring the forest floor under it with the intense power it bore. It could easily have felled a tree bigger around than she could reach. It would have no troublemaking bisecting the beast that jeered at her with its crooked fangs and all the hatred a living thing could possess in its gleaming silver eyes. The rush of triumph was already in her chest as the beast gave a pulse of anticipation and sprang, leaping twice its height clear into the air and arcing gracefully over the spell.

“Bastard!” She spat, jumping backward as the alpha came down from above, snapping its jaws at the place she’d just been standing in a moment before. The acting princess of Selphia lashed out with a fury at the monster. She missed once as it ducked sharply again, then swung a second frantic slash at its head, notching one of its triangular ears as her blade came within a few inches of dealing a fatal blow.

“DAMN you!” She swore with venom in her voice as she swung at the creature again and again, driving its advance backward with her ferocity.

Somewhere behind her the snarling and gnashing of the other pair of werewolves grew louder and more frantic. There was a sharp-edged noise like a growl that cut off when the owner’s jaws clamped down onto something, closing off the sound inside its mouth. Then a shrill canine cry broke through the night, flashing terror up her spine as Frey feared the worst. It wasn’t possible to tell in the chaos of her own battle whether the sound had come from a huge black wolf or the smaller but more savage she-wolf. The shock and fear of the sound slowed her movements for only a single heartbeat, but the sudden flash in the eyes of the alpha showed he hadn’t missed the flinch. He ducked her most recent strike and she toppled off balance as the momentum of the missed swing carried her weight too far to the right. The beast lunged forward and for one horrible moment frozen in the blink of her eyes she saw its open jaws hurtling for her throat.

With a sudden jolt of effort, Frey twisted frantically away from that gaping maw and hit the ground, dropping her swords and rolling, having narrowly missed eviscerating herself with her own blades.  The best landed on its forepaws with a heavy thud.

As she came to rest upon the forest floor, Frey exhaled a portion of the fear and rage and scrambled to her hands and knees, snatching up one of her swords that had fallen close enough to reach. There she crouched, sides heaving as she sucked in breath after breath. She glared daggers at the hulking silver beast as it turned, snarling at her with a continuous, rumbling, savage growl.

Fury, uncharacteristically vicious and powerful, pulsed through her veins. She wanted to _destroy_ this creature. She wanted to tear it to ragged gory pieces and revel in the blood as she slew it. Her teeth clenched tightly and her lips curled back. She leaned forward, one hand propped on the ground and the other held ready to spring out from below her chest and gore the beast with her blade.

Suddenly her vision blurred and she struggled to keep her balance. Confused and dimly aware of a sensation on her hand, she looked down. The beast that stood off with her watched her every movement, but somehow she knew it would not attack just now. With an effort of delirious will she forced her eyes to focus and then her breath stopped.

Upon her pale, slender wrist were drops of blood, shining with silver moonlight where the beads of blood pooled or ran down around her arm, leaving red tracks where the drops had rolled over her skin. She reached up, numbly, and touched her neck. Where she expected skin and sweat there was hot, wet, slippery blood running freely from a gash where the wolf’s teeth had raked her flesh as she dodged the full force of its bite. The coppery stench of the blood filled her nose and the red of it on her hand as she lifted it before her eyes made her head swim. She swayed a moment, choking on a breath as she understood somewhere in her mind that this was the end.

She looked up across the clearing to where the two werewolves that had been Bado and Forte were still fighting. The golden she-wolf’s jaws were a reddened, murderous flower of blood and teeth and froth as she mantled and snarled at the huge black wolf before her. His midnight black fur was slick and shining with blood on his right foreleg where Forte had presumably sank her teeth into him. He was advancing on her, slowly and with terrible power in his posture and his movements. She was shrinking back away in the face of his terrible vengeance.

Frey’s eyes came back to the silver beast standing just before her, watching her with those silver eyes, unmoving… transfixed.

He was watching her. Waiting. He was waiting for her to change. This beast was not mindless. He knew. He knew what would come to pass now that he’d tasted her blood.

Fire. Burning, searing pain shot through her and Frey arched and threw her head back, mouth stretched open in a silent scream as the fire burned in her throat. Somewhere amid the pain, she felt the wound on her throat binding itself shut with the fire that had corrupted her blood. She fell forward on hands and knees as her bones and insides began to shift and change. It was hell. It was agony. It was if every bone in her body were being broken and mended over and over and over again as she changed shape, her face distorting into a snout and her legs assuming the many angled proportions of a canine’s appendages.

She shuddered and twitched and thrashed in place as the change took more and more of her. A sound just before her made her wrench her head up enough to see the alpha werewolf stepping closer, staring unblinkingly at her as his curse changed her.

She glared savagely as drool and blood dripped from her shifting jaws and sharpening teeth. Tearing sounds began to add their voices to her labored, rattling breaths as her chest expanded enough to burst the seams in her gear. Tight. Too tight. The clothing she had work out here was going to strangle her to death if she didn’t act quickly. She tore at it with her half-human hands tipped with blackish claws, ripping off the light armor piece by piece and flinging it away. Finally after she had thrashed and savaged her way out of the garments and armor she fell, exhausted to the ground and her chest heaved for breath beneath a thick, dense coat of pale fur.

As Frey panted, her limbs and paws splayed and her long jaws hanging open, tongue lolling in the dirt, her unfocused eyes perceived the great paws of the alpha stepping close. He loomed over her, staring down with wild, near-white silver discs for eyes, only the merest pinpoints of black pupil at their centers. His crooked, broken jaw was a sneer and in those haunting savage eyes she felt powerfully a single thought, as if telegraphed directly into her mind.

‘Mine.’                                                                                                                           

A shroud began to wrap around what was left of Frey’s consciousness, slowly swallowed up by the will and spirit of the wolf. The moon paralyzed her with its eerie light and she was tired… oh she was _so tired._ She wanted to go to sleep and let his nightmare disappear with her mind into the inky black abyss. She was losing… losing the fight and the feeling of the wolf strangling her humanity out of her bit by bit was too powerful, too strong to resist. Her eyes began to close and her last human thoughts faltered, guttering like a candle flame in a breeze that was about to go out…

Somewhere across the clearing the savage snarls and yelps of pain sounded again where Bado and Forte fought. The high pitched shriek of pain in the voice of another tortured soul in the grip of the wolf spirit struck like lighting through the dark and the flame of Frey’s soul flashed brightly in the dark where it had nearly been smothered. No. She would not submit to this beast. She had come here to save the lives of her lover and her friend and she would not surrender them to their fate by letting this beast take her now.

Rage. Anger and fury and rage like nothing she had ever felt before took hold of her. It was the bloodlust and savage hunger of the wolf, feeding into her and driving her to destroy. But, she had not submitted to its will just yet. Burning with rage and pain and grief, Frey gritted her teeth and let one thought drive her, grabbing hold of the wrath of the wolf and wielding it like a sword as her spirit rose up in righteous fire and fury.

“YOU WILL NOT TAKE THEM!” She roared in a savage, half-human, growling voice, and lunged upward with all her strength and wrath in one motion her own she-wolf’s jaws closed on the throat of the alpha werewolf standing over her. The long cruel canines of her wolf’s teeth pierced the flesh of the other beast and its blood, hot and sweet and metallic all at once, rushed into her mouth as it shattered the night with its death cry. Her jaws kept pushing, muscles straining as she brought her teeth together, severing the flesh she had taken into her mouth from the body of her victim.

A fresh, redoubled spurt of blood sprayed her face and muzzle as the alpha thrashed away, staggered for a half-breath, and then fell, gasping onto its side as its life gushed, thick and red, out from its torn throat and soaked the soil around it. The wolf’s jaw stretched open once, twice, and once more as it gurgled and rasped, its cold silver eyes full of fear as it breathed its last… then those cursed eyes went dim and lifeless.


	54. What Never Changes

All at once, like a sigh greater and full of more relief than she’d ever felt before, the fragmented, savage spirit of the wolf rushed out of her and she spat the flesh of the monster out and blinked several times. She could think clearly again. The rage was gone. The hunger and drive to kill was _gone_. She looked up and saw two canine figures staring back at her, their heads raised and triangular ears upright and facing her. Even at this distance, she saw the silver eyes in the blackness of wolf-Bado’s furry face melt into the stormy ocean blue-gray that were his own true eyes. He threw his head back and gave a joyful howl and then sprang forward and sprinted toward her, jaws open in a canine grin of pure elation.

Frey jumped up and ran too, loping toward him on four paws for three or four strides before she felt herself changing again. She didn’t care to note the sudden shift this time though, so adamantly did the desire to run to him hold every ounce of her attention. Several yards before her, Bado too was returning to his true self. As he pelted forward, his snout and tail began to shrink and his limbs shrank and shifted back to human proportions. Dimly Frey was aware that her own body was similarly shifting and she staggered as her rapidly changing legs necessitated a switch form four-legged galloping to two-legged sprinting. Bado actually fell and rolled as his feet returned to their natural plantigrade state.

He rolled over the ground in an ungraceful tangle of limbs but they were _his_ limbs… his true body returned. Breathless and shaky, he scrambled to his feet, laughing for joy despite being covered in dirt and blood and minor injuries, and continued closing the distance between them. Frey was up on her slender legs, running as fast as she could with her pale green hair streaking out behind her along with the tears her eyes just kept pouring out in her relief and joy to see her lover restored.

Three more breaths and she jumped into his arms as he clutched her tightly to him, spinning them around to use up the momentum of their eager reunion. He kissed her face over and over, laughing and squeezing her to him as he did so.

“You _did it!_ You brilliant, crazy, foolish girl! You—you better NEVER let me catch you do ANYTHING so insane EVER again!” He panted, laying a hand at her cheek and pulling her into a desperately insistent kiss as soon as he’d finished his words.

Frey smiled in her turn and laughed into her lover’s mouth.

“You first, bonehead! If you stay outta trouble from now on, I’ll not have to follow you into it to save you!” She kissed him back, once, twice, three times and then he answered her with a wide grin.

“It’s a promise.”

She hugged him tightly again and he reciprocated the pressure, tucking his face into the curve of her neck and breathing her in with a palpable sense of relief and happiness. They held each other, barely daring to breathe through the sudden release from the terrible troubles that had plagued them for so long, now. Frey just kept hugging him, savoring the real, solid presence of him and slowly feeling all of her amazement that he was back… all of him…

“U-um.” Another voice called suddenly. The pair of lovers loosened their grasp on one another just enough to turn and look in the direction of the sound. Forte was standing before them, restored to her true body just as they were, and wearing the cloak she had fled into the forest in before she transformed into a she-wolf. She had the center of it clutched closed with her hands and her cheeks were flushed red. “I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but maybe you should come back to the celebrating part after we all get home and cleaned up… and dressed.” She was very determinedly staring upward above their heads and with a pang, Frey remembered having ripped her own clothing to shreds as she transformed into a she wolf, herself.

She looked down and flushed bright red, herself. Both she and Bado were splattered with mud and dirt and blood, but every last bit of him, and her too, was bare and perfectly visible in the glow of the full moon’s light. She looked up into his face with wide-eyed embarrassment and froze, waiting for his reaction. Bado, for his part, took the undignified form of his and her return with good humor, laughing loudly and wiping away the blood smudged across his mouth with an arm while she touched her own face and realized with increasing mortification that the gore from her slaying the alpha wolf still lingered on her now human lips. She cringed and looked with terrified apology into her lover’s face, but he only laughed and shook his head as he set her down on her heels and shrugged.

“Well, yeah, we look like a nightmare, and no mistake.” He chuckled again. “But I won’t complain! It sure beats being an _actual_ monster!” Frey smiled in spite of herself as she self-consciously folded one arm across her breasts and set the other hand over her groin to preserve modesty as best she may. She of course wouldn’t have minded being bare for him if it were just the two of them in decidedly more romantic circumstances, but in light of Forte’s presence and her words, she couldn’t help but feel the burn of indignity at the situation, now that the first impact of knowing all three of them had survived and were cured of the curse had sunk in. Bado mirrored the gesture, cupping his genitalia in his big hands and laughing through the humiliation even while his own face turned crimson in the light of the moon.

Frey used her magic to return all three of them to the castle through the retournen gate spell just as soon as they figured out a configuration of closed eyes and clasped hands that would satisfy the requirements of the spell while avoiding any further embarrassment on the part of the three naked survivors of the lycanthropic curse. She took the three of them directly to her quarters and hurriedly pressed a change of clothes into Forte’s hands. Then, to her surprise, Forte seized her in a firm hug and murmured: “Thank you. Thank you Frey… You saved us both. Thank you.” She squeezed her friend in return and didn’t quite manage to articulate a response other than a slight choking laugh and the happy tears that rolled out of her eyes. She had saved them. Her friend and her lover were alive and safe and _that_ was all she could have wished for in the world when she set out a few hours ago to hunt the alpha werewolf. Forte gave her a heartfelt smile efore hurrying out the back door to run home in the dark of the night.

Finally alone with her lover, Frey turned back to Bado, no longer bothering to cover herself up. It wouldn’t have mattered anyhow, since he had refused to open his eyes yet.

“She’s gone home, Bado. You can open them.” Frey teased in a confidential tone.

“Nope, you heard Forte.” He smirked wickedly, “It would be _unthinkable_ to observe the princess of Selphia unceremoniously unrobed due to unforeseen circumstances. What kind of scoundrel would I be if I took advantage of her situation for my own wicked indulgence?” He made a show of peeking with one eye and then shutting it tightly again when she caught him and smiled a mischievous smile of her own.

“Fine, fine.” She sighed and braced the heels of her hands on his lower back and pushed him toward her bath. “let’s get cleaned up and dressed then so you can stop being so _noble_ and _selfless_.” She teased.

Frey’s castle quarters’ shower was easily large enough to accommodate both of them and so the two lovers bathed together, washing each other of the battle in the forest with all the tender care in the world. Bado’s right arm was cut and punctured still by the teeth of the then she-wolf Forte during their fight, but Frey mended them closed with her own healing spell, not as potent as Ventuswill’s magical talents, but enough for this and fueled by her love for him. Blood and dirt and pain and fear all washed away and down the drain with the hot water as the two silently treasured one another now that they were restored safely to each other’s arms.

Once out of the bath, Frey dressed in a soft cotton nightdress and went out to the barn to fetch him his clothing. As she clutched the bundle to her chest she looked around the barn with a soft smile, fondly remembering the tender moments she’d shared as they had slowly built their intimacy here as unlikely friends first. Still, it would feel good to leave this place behind. There was no more reason for Bado to live in her barn anymore. He was whole again. He could go home.

This last thought came with both relief and sadness at once. The very last thing Frey wanted now that Bado had finally been restored to her was to part from him again, even to let him return home and sleep in his own bed without her.

She returned to the bathroom in her quarters and gave him the clothing. Once dressed in his own clothes again, Bado sighed and looked down at his big, masculine hands.

“It’s good to be back…” He murmured. She nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And it’s all thanks to you, love.” He added, looking searchingly at her.

“Yeah…” She smiled softly up at him. He returned the smile, and then faltered and began to fidget anxiously.

“I guess… well… since we’re not in such crazy dire straits anymore… I guess I should behave more appropriately for a suitor.” He gave a short, nervous laugh and then fell into somber silence for a beat, looking pleadingly into her green eyes with his gray-blue ones. “I-I’d like to see you as soon as possible though, Frey… tomorrow? Please?”

Frey smiled and shook her head, warmth growing in her heart. Bado looked at her with worried confusion until she spoke.

“I made you a promise.” She said, “And just because you weren’t in an ordinary state of mind at the time doesn’t mean I don’t intend to keep it.” He blinked at her in suspense. “I will be with you. I won’t leave when the moon rises ever again unless you ask me to. So… you can go home, and I’ll go with you. Or, you can stay here with me. Either way, You aren’t going to spend your nights alone anymore and neither am I.” She finished, gazing affectionately at him as she gave her promise. Bado’s mouth curved into a genuine smile full of adoration and he wrapped her up in his arms and hugged her tightly.

“I don’t much care where we go, as long as I can be with you, Frey.” He sighed happily, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She purred, squeezing him back. “There will be plenty of nights and we can spend them at your home and mine in equal measure, cause I don’t care where we are either, if we’re together, that is.” He hugged her another long moment or two and then leaned back and cupped her face in his hands, looking lovingly into her eyes as he spoke again in heartfelt tones.

“You’ve saved my life countless times over the last few months, Frey.” He said softly, “Every moment you were there to calm me and talk to me and care for me you were saving me, and that is all before your heroic deeds tonight. I have never deserved you or what you’ve given me, but I’m going to try— _gods_ , Frey, I am going to try like crazy to be worthy of you, I promise.” Frey touched his cheek and shook her head again, smiling lovingly at him.

“I could say the same to you, silly. Besides, didn’t I tell you I’d decide who’s worthy of me? You are already enough. I know we’ll both always try to do right for each other, but there’s no need to promise to be something different. I already love you, Bado.” She kissed his lips gently and carefully, and he returned the kiss with equal care.

“Thank you, Frey.” He murmured between kisses, then lifted her up in his arms and began walking them both to bed, purring soft words to her as he padded barefoot back into her room.

“Let’s call it a night then, my little heroine. We’ll sleep in your bed tonight since we’re here already—unless you’d like to sleep together in the barn for old times’ sake?” He offered in a teasing voice.

“I think I’ve had enough of the barn for a lifetime, love.”

“Fair enough.” He answered with a smile.

She chuckled and kissed his cheek as he carried her through the doorframe to the bedroom and set her down on the large, comfortable bed. Living in the prince’s room was one exceptionally nice perk of filling in as the acting princess of Selphia, she mused to herself, not that she’d openly admit to enjoying the perks of her unofficial office.

Bado climbed into the bed and pulled the sheets up over them both, stroking her arm as he gazed at her with a thoughtful expression.

“Frey…” He began in a smooth voice.

“Yeah?” She replied in a sleepily curious voice.

“Ya think if I made some silver charms and called them ‘werewolf protection charms’, they’d sell? I figure them being made by a cured werewolf will make em’ feel all the more legitimate.” He grinned mischievously as he spoke. Frey snorted, closed her eyes, and snuggled closer to him. He wrapped an arm around her and cuddled her close.

“I bet if you made some I could sell them as ‘werewolf slayer charms’, too.” He added. The ridiculous smile on his face was easy for her to imagine even behind her closed eyes.

“Sure… Why not.” She sighed happily. Some things never changed, she thought, and that gave her more comfort than she ever would have guessed.


End file.
